2. Leila

LEILA

Ismile as I glance in my rearview mirror, the sight of Nolan's old SUV tickling my sense of amusement as much as it always does. Either the man is overconfident about his own stealthiness, or he thinks I'm an idiot.

Oof. I really hope he doesn't think I'm that clueless.

Five years ago, when he first started following me, it freaked me out. I had just lost my dad, and it felt like my whole world was falling apart. I thought he was some random guy who had decided to stalk me, and I nearly called the police.

But then I realized that I didn't get a creepy vibe from him. I got a protective vibe—a dad vibe. And suddenly all the pieces fell into place. I remembered all the times that my dad had talked about his best friend, Nolan; I thought about how odd it was that I didn't meet anyone named Nolan at my dad's funeral; I thought about all of the preparations my dad had made before he passed away. This was no stalker. He was a protector sent by my overprotective father.

At first it infuriated me, the fact that my dad had arranged something like that. I was a grown, independent woman who managed life just fine. I didn't need someone to look after me. For fuck's sake, I was twenty-six years old. And so I decided that I would confront Nolan and tell him to mind his own damn business.

Only I found that I couldn't do it. Something was stopping me, but I couldn't figure out what. Not at first, at least. After a while, it finally dawned on me. It was comforting having Nolan there. Not because I needed a guardian angel, but because his presence made me feel less alone.

And so life went on. Nolan continued to watch over me from a distance, and I let him think I didn't know he was there. At first, that's all it was, just observation from afar. But after a few months, I started noticing little things, and it became clear that Nolan had begun to do more than just watch me.

He put a tracking device on my car, for starters. My mechanic found it when I brought my car in for routine maintenance. When my mechanic handed it over with a concerned frown, I just smiled and asked him where he found it, then put it back in place before driving off.

The next week, there was a snowstorm. I woke up to a yard full of snow—and yet my walkway and the stretch of sidewalk outside my house had been shoveled clear.

Then the packages started arriving. They were from websites that I liked to shop at, but they weren't purchases that I had made. The gift message was always the same: A complimentary gift. Hope you enjoy it.

At first, the things Nolan sent me were practical. An umbrella that was sturdier than the flimsy one I always used. A doormat that didn't slide around like my current one did. A set of path lights to brighten up my walkway at night. A life jacket that was designed especially for kayakers, which magically arrived the day before I went out on the water for the first time that summer.

But over time, the gifts began to feel more…well, sweet. He sent me a candle that smelled of sandalwood and wildflowers. Then a sweater that was so soft, I pressed my cheek to it and audibly sighed. A set of aromatherapy bath bombs arrived next, and the first time I used one, I was so relaxed that I soaked in the bath for twice as long as usual.

I'm not sure if I should admit this. But when I was taking that bath? I fantasized about Nolan. I imagined him striding into the bathroom, tearing off his clothes, and joining me in the bathtub. I imagined him pulling me onto his lap and sinking me down onto his rigid cock. I imagined him sucking my wet tits, and groaning my name, and taking care of me like I'd always dreamed of.

In real life, when I came against my own hand, I whimpered his name into the empty room.

Sometimes I wonder if it's really possible to be in love with a man you've never met. It sure feels like I'm in love with him, but how can these feelings be the real thing when we've never spoken a word to each other or even stood face to face? It all feels so absurd, so nonsensical.

And yet I can't deny the way my heart beats for him.

The trip that I booked today, the Tour du Mont Blanc, is one that I've wanted to go on for a long time. It's a trip my dad and I used to talk about, actually. We had talked about going on it together, but then he got sick. And for the last five years, I haven't been able to think about the trip without a heavy heart.

But a few weeks ago, I realized that thinking about the Tour du Mont Blanc no longer brought me pain. I felt a renewed excitement to go on the hike. I wanted to do it to honor my dad, and to finally experience it for myself.

It will also be the perfect opportunity to finally confess my feelings to Nolan.

A nervous shiver rushes through me at the thought of finally interacting with the man I'm in love with. The possibility of rejection terrifies me, but I also know I can't go on much longer without doing something about the way I feel. It's been five years. It's time.

Maybe I'm about to make the biggest mistake of my life.

But at least I'll finally have an answer to the question that's been plaguing me for such a long time: maybe, just maybe, could Nolan have feelings for me too?