Chapter 8

* * *

GIDEON

I must be certifiably insane,Gideon thought wildly as Houghton shrugged and handed him the keys to the truck without a word. The gruff man who had become his benefactor temporarily while he healed had to have so many questions yet didn't ask one.

"You're okay with this?"

"You don't need my approval."

"You don't mind us borrowing the truck?"

"Don't wreck it," Houghton said simply, yawning and looking at him. "And hurry because I know Jill will hold breakfast until you two get back."

"Is she going to be upset we aren"t taking anyone?"

"If Jill were bothered, everyone would be getting ready right now," Houghton said bluntly, looking at him. "So let me leave you with this bit of advice. Before you marry Christina, for whatever reason, are you prepared to put her care, happiness, and security before everything else?" Gideon started to open his mouth and Houghton held up a hand, silencing him. "I'm talking about real sacrifice to keep her dreams alive."

"What did you sacrifice?"

"Too many years in Afghanistan," Houghton said quietly, not looking away from him. "We've always wanted a ranch, and Jill stumbled across this property that had come up for sale. We had the down payment but couldn't make the payments unless I went to a warzone for hazardous duty pay to bump my check – so I did. I stayed there until we paid off the ranch, and the moment the bank cashed the last check, I came home," he said candidly. "I came home to pick up where my life paused. This was her dream, so I made it ours."

Gideon swallowed, recognizing the depth of this man's sacrifice for his wife – and was quite aware that she probably had no clue as to what a toll that was on him. Afghanistan wasn't an easy deployment. He spent two hellish years there and wouldn't wish it on anyone.

"So, let me ask you again," Houghton said heavily. "I know your sister, know of your family and know this isn't some whim. Can you put Christina's wants and needs before your own for her happiness?"

He thought of their conversation, his promises to her. They were tethering themselves together but under her terms. She would decide what was best for them as a couple, decide if he ever got to touch her, and would decide if they had children someday. If she wanted to start her practice somewhere, he would follow, supporting her fully.

His own life was floundering like a fish on the bank of a river, desperately trying to make its way back into the water. He had no job, no career, no sense of self – but hanging onto something ‘good' was tangible, and he desperately needed that to keep from spiraling mentally downward. Was it selfish? Sure, but he never hid that from her, either.

Gideon needed Christina – so yes, he was willing to do anything she wanted to feel complete, happy, and whole. Looking at Houghton, he started to speak only when the man held up his hand once more, smiling.

"The only person that needs your answer is Chris."

And turned away, walking off.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, in the early hours of the morning, Gideon handed Christina the keys to the truck as they made their way silently toward the vehicle. It had been her idea to marry this morning so they could both get some rest this evening, which sounded ironic and pathetically sad to him. In his mind, if he ever married, there would have been some grand honeymoon full of passionate lovemaking in some tropical location. ‘Sexless in Wyoming' was not anywhere on his list – yet here he was, willingly.

Christina hopped in the driver's seat. He climbed in the passenger side, moving and angling his crutches to allow them in the footwell, propped against his cast. She started the truck, put it in reverse, and threw her arm over the bench seat, looking behind them with practiced ease as she backed out of the driveway, only to pause at the edge of the road.

"You're sure?"

"Yes. Are you having any doubts?"

"No. I just wanted to make sure one last time before we drove into town."

And with that, Christina backed onto the road that was empty except for a set of headlights in the remote distance and headed their way. She turned the truck slightly, giving it gas, and pulled into the lane correctly before speeding up fully. Neither said another word during the drive in, and honestly, he didn't feel like it was necessary.

There was a peace and comfort in the shared silence that was strangely comforting. The sun was rising in the distance, casting a pink haze across the sky as it rose. All of the darkness and shadows slowly became dark outlines of trees before lightening into greenery. It was like the world before them was blooming, opening, awakening to say ‘hello' to the soon-to-be couple.

Pulling into a parking spot, Christina turned off the truck and hesitated, looking at him. Her eyes looked worried; there was a pinch between her brows, and even her lips were pursed slightly. She shook her head and removed the keys from the ignition, moving to open the door when he stopped her.

"What's wrong?"

"Doesn't this feel weird?"

"Weird, how?"

"You're going to think I'm being stupid…"

"I sincerely doubt that," he retorted, not bothering to hold back – and was surprised to see the corner of her lip turn upward as she sighed. "Tell me what's on your mind… please?"

"We're doing the whole ‘friends' thing, right?"

"Yes."

"You know that when the ceremony is over, they are going to have you kiss the bride," she said quietly, looking at him with concern again. "Are we going to have a problem kissing each other?"

Heck no!he wanted to scream aloud – and instead caught his breath, waiting and marveling at the way her mind worked. He was more concerned about not having a wedding ring for her, but assumed he would make up for it when he had a chance. but she was thinking about kissing?

"I think we'll be fine," he said, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice. "But we can practice for a second, if you want, just so we look like we both know what we are doing before the magistrate."

"That's a really good idea."

"It is?" he blurted out and then laughed, hoping she didn't catch his slip. "I think it was your idea in a fashion, but you are probably right. We don't want anyone to catch on that this is different."

She nodded, biting her lower lip.

Oh yes, it would be no burden to kiss her. He'd wanted to do so since he first laid eyes on her standing there in the towel. If anything, he felt sort of guilty because she was getting the ‘short end of the stick' marrying him. He was unemployed, had to figure out something to do when he got his cast off, and partial disability would not be enough to live on. The only thing he had going for him right now was his looks and his savings account – his health was questionable in his mind.

"Should we get out of the truck?" she said nervously, hooking a thumb over her shoulder. "We should probably get out, right?"

"Nahh," he said softly, unbuckling and scooting slightly toward her. "Just stay still for a moment, okay?"

"Okay. Stay still. I can do that," she whispered, closing her eyes and pursing her lips – and he paused. Had she never been kissed before? Surely she had… hadn't she? The evidence before him said otherwise. She was sitting there with her lips puckered, waiting, with her eyes pinched shut, and this would not do.

Nope.

Gideon scooted over a little more and touched her cheek, only for Christina to jump as her eyes popped open, and she exclaimed aloud. She met his eyes, looked embarrassed, and then laughed nervously.

"Sorry…"

"It's okay. Relax."

"What are you doing?"

"Touching your cheek."

"Is it necessary?"

Is it necessary? Are you kidding me? Is it NECESSARY? Like breathing air, it's very necessary to me.He swallowed back and nodded, feeling the pressure within him building because he was a thousand percent certain that she had never been kissed properly now – and by golly – he was going to do a bang-up job of making sure she never forgot this one!

"Yes," he replied, touching her cheek tenderly with the back of his knuckles. She drew in her breath and shivered slightly, causing him to smile at her open and honest reaction. "Shhh… I'm practicing, remember?"

"I'm relaxing. Go ahead and make sure it looks right."

Heaven help him; he wanted to smile or laugh, but his hands were trembling at the thought of her possible reactions. He wanted to hear her sigh, feel her lips part, taste her, and wonder if she would cling to him. Would she sit there idly, clasping her hands, or would she clutch his shoulders?

He caressed her cheek again and then tucked a curl behind her ear, treasuring the way she shivered slightly again, smiling in silent understanding. Yeah, he was practicing all right. He was currently learning exactly what touches and movements worked for her because he knew every woman was different. He wanted to learn Christina – and chuck all his old mental notes right out the window for the next sucker.

"Shhh…" he breathed again, cupping her cheek in his hands and moving slowly forward. Her breath was coming faster, like a scared little rabbit, making him feel like the big, bad wolf. He brushed his nose against hers, treasuring the soft gasp and faint giggle that escaped her, realizing deep in his soul that sensation made her happy. He was going to do that move every time he freakin' kissed this woman.

And felt her hand blindly reach out to clench his bicep. He glanced at it distractedly, seeing her fingers there on him, and swallowed. She was driving him insane with her naivete – and this was the woman that talked about calves being born like it was nothing?

He brushed his nose against hers again before moving to caress her cheek with it, treasuring her reactions. She whispered his name, her other hand blindly reaching for him and grabbing near his elbow, holding him steady where he was still cradling her face.

"I've got you," he breathed against her lips and heard the softest sound escape her, nearly laughing as her fingers crawled up his arms to get a better hold of him and leaned into him at the same time. There was a burst of masculine awareness within his chest that was staggering as he recognized that she wanted him to kiss her, probably nearly as badly as he wanted to close the gap between them.

"We're almost there," he murmured, brushing his lips against the corner of her lips and nearly shouted as her lips parted in anticipation. He could feel her pulse fluttering under his wrist where it touched her throat.

"Is it always like this," she whispered in a halting manner.

"No," he breathed. "We're lucky…"

"Very…" she gasped mindlessly, and that was his cue. Gideon moved forward, kissing her tenderly, and loved the noise of delight that she made. She was pulling at his shoulders now, and he would have broken both legs to experience this moment. He curled an arm around her waist, pulling her to him, and swallowed the gasp that she made at his aggressive movement and almost backed away, except she moved her hands again, reaching up and grasping a handful of his hair.

Bald was a look he could live with, he thought instantly as he leaned forward, deepening the kiss and savoring this moment for all it was worth. Yeah, he was going to marry this girl, and when she said the word, they were going to have an incredible time together in bed. He broke the kiss, moving to kiss the soft skin of her jawline, needing more and letting himself get carried away in the moment. She was arching her neck, giving him access, and heard her words like a cold splash of water.

"I think a car honked at us…"

"Let them," he whispered, kissing her throat again.

"Gideon, I don't think you'll be kissing me on my neck when the ceremony is over. Don't the bride and groom kiss on the lips?"

"If you say the word, I'll kiss you everywhere," he breathed – and felt her tense, immediately pulling his hands from her in alarm and awareness. He crossed a line and knew it. This was so intense between them, like a fire raging out of control. He was going to have to be careful around her.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out. "I'm sorry. That slipped. You're safe from me and completely right. When the ceremony is over, it will be one brief kiss, and then we'll be done until you give the word."

"Are you sure?"

"I promise – and I will keep my word to you."

"That was… something."

"Extremely ‘something,'" he nodded emphatically. "I could do that for hours," and saw her sharp glance. "I'm just saying that it was amazing - and I could, but only if you want me to later on. Right now, we are just making things official and legal for both our families while working on friendship."

"Exactly. We should probably go."

"Go inside, right?" he said warily, wondering if she meant ‘go back to the cabin and skip this'… only to see her turn to him in surprise with a gentleness in his eyes that rolled up his spine.

"We're going inside and getting married," she confirmed softly and nodded. "Let's head in, one step at a time, and we'll figure this out."

"You know, just so we are clear," he began nervously. "You can always kiss me if you choose to – and I won't mind. I mean, I think we'd still be friends, and I would be more than okay with it."

"I appreciate you letting me know," she smiled, exiting the truck, and Gideon slapped his forehead. He opened his door, trying to keep his voice low as he let off some pent-up steam before walking with her toward the courthouse.

"You can kiss me if you want to," he mocked under his breath. "What are you, twelve? Ya' big dumb dork, get your act together and try to look like you are calm."

He was anything but calm on the inside.

Gideon was about to marry the hottest woman he'd laid eyes on. Yeah, he had it bad for Christina. He really hoped she didn't regret this or make him wait years to finally sleep together - and paused.

Houghton's words hit him like a ton of bricks, along with an awareness and understanding. Houghton's willingness to spend years in Afghanistan took on a deeper meaning. He realized that it wasn't just to make Jill happy, but to make those same feelings evolve and deepen over time for the both of them. She wanted a home with Houghton, and he made it possible, giving everything of himself and showing her that he wanted a home, too.

If Christina's reaction to her first kiss was like that, he would wait forever to have her excited and willing to take things further. He would romance his bride, make her learn to trust and love him and give her as much space as she could ever require. All for that single hope that maybe she felt the same as he did. Looking up as he got his crutches under his arms, he paused, seeing her smile.

Maybe she could grow to love him and want to be loved in return. She could take as long as she wanted, even if it felt like forever. He would wait for this woman to claim him after that incredible kiss.

Dang it, he thought painfully. He'd wait decades for her.

And he swallowed nervously.

* * *

Almost an hour later, they were acting like nothing had happened this morning. They walked around the house, not holding hands or talking, and entered through the back door of the cabin like they had come from their tiny one on the back of the property.

"I'll go help with breakfast," Christina mumbled, walking away quickly as Gideon saw Houghton and Daphne looking at them curiously.

"Daphne, why don't you help Christina, Jill, and Lena," Houghton said pointedly, causing the woman to roll her eyes.

"Why, so you can find out the dirt all on your own?"

"There's no dirt to be had," Gideon said bluntly, handing Houghton the keys to the truck. "Thank you."

"Where'd you go so early in the day?"

"Justice of the peace," he said simply, not caring what anyone thought. They never really agreed to keep it a secret, only the details between them. It was bound to leak back to his family by way of Houghton to Giselle.

"Holy cow… y'all got married?"

"Daphne," Houghton said pointedly, pursing his lips and pointing at the kitchen. The woman held up her hands in mock surrender, wide-eyed and shaking her head in dismay. Obviously, she was pretty soon at the spur-of-the-moment decision, but he had no regrets. The moment Daphne was out of earshot, Houghton looked at him. "Is she going to be happy?"

"I'm going to do everything I can to keep her that way."

"She's happy now?"

"Yes."

"And y'all are both good with this?"

"I don't think Christina is the type of person that can be brow-beaten into doing something she doesn't want to."

"I agree, but she's also a people pleaser and a soft-hearted person – and you are a wounded vet on crutches, which could play on those heartstrings. You didn't use that to your advantage, did you?"

"No," he balked and hesitated. "I told her the truth, that I was scared and would never do her wrong."

"And it's the truth?"

"I don't lie. I may be a jerk at times, hard-headed, or stuck-up according to my sisters, but I don't lie and sure wouldn't coerce someone I care about into marrying me."

"Do you love her?"

"No," he whispered guiltily, not avoiding the other man's eyes. "Not yet, but I think I could… and I believe she hopes the same deep down inside. Now, I would prefer to keep the details of my marriage to Christina private – if that is all right with you."

"Yup."

"Then I think I'll go wash my hands while we are waiting to sit down."

Gideon was going to need to distance himself from the memory of Christina's kiss to keep from crossing a line. Perhaps he'd feed the horses and brush them down quickly or find Ortega and help him instead. If they weren't going hunting for a few more days, he was going to need something to expend some energy – and jogging a few miles wasn't in the cards for a long time, nor sex with his new wife.

What was I thinking?