Chapter 11

* * *

CHRISTINA

The moment Christina said that single word, she knew Gideon was thinking the worst. It hung in the air for what felt like an eternity as a worry line appeared on his brow, and his Adam's apple bobbed nervously. He held up his hand to her again – and saw it trembling.

"Please," he said hoarsely.

"I don't want to go back to how things were," she whispered painfully. "I can't. I can't feel like I'm just existing beside you and never getting close. Gideon, I think you are an incredible person…"

"But?" he whispered as a tear streaked down his cheek, staring up at her with his heart on his sleeve. "But it's not enough?"

"I want more," she whispered and saw his eyes widen in shock as she untucked her shirt from her jeans and moved to kneel before him, where he sat. "I want the man that loves me to hold me, to talk to me, to tell me that he loves me – and if we go back to how things were, then none of that happens." She reached out and wiped the tear from his face as he stared at her in surprise and fear.

"Are you sure?" he breathed openly, his eyes searching hers. "Because I want that too. I want a relationship, laughter, a home, and love…"

"I do, too," she smiled nervously. "I want our friendship, but I want our relationship so much more… and babies," she chuckled tearfully. "Gideon, I want to have babies while we can chase them around and – Oh!"

Gideon grabbed her and flipped her into the hay beside him, chuckling softly as he brushed his nose against hers.

"Keep telling me about our babies…" he whispered tenderly. "You want to have babies with me?"

"I think I do," she breathed shyly. "I mean, I know it would change things and…"

"We're already talking about changing things with our relationship – for the better," he began intimately, leaning forward to kiss her gently as his hand touched her side. His thumb caressed the waistband of her jeans, making her shiver and jump nervously as they shared a smile. "Gotcha," he began tenderly. "We'll take things slow."

"I'm sorry I'm so nervous."

"I'm not," he smiled, and she searched his eyes, worried that he was saying that for her benefit. "How can I be frustrated when I've got a beautiful wife who shares what she likes and dislikes? That is every man's dream."

"Really?"

"Sweetheart, I want you to tell me if you like something or if things are moving too fast because I cannot read your mind," he admitted, not looking away from her. "You being happy with me is at the top of my list."

"That's sweet."

"It's the truth. When you smile at me, I feel invincible. When we laugh together, I feel at peace in my soul."

"What do you feel when I do this?" she whispered bravely, touched his cheek and saw his soft, knowing smile.

"Lucky. I feel lucky to have met you," he began and nodded slightly as he dropped a light kiss on her lips before touching her cheek. "What do you feel when I do the same?"

"Treasured… special," Christina offered, closing her eyes and smiling at the touch – only to feel Gideon kiss her again softly before he spoke against her lips.

"And when I do this?" he murmured huskily, tracing her throat with his finger before kissing that imaginary line, causing her to shiver in delight as she let out a warm laugh that sounded like it belonged to someone else. "Oh, I like that," he chuckled knowingly, joining her. "That's a really nice reaction to my touch."

"Yeah, it is," she began shyly, feeling herself blush.

"What does it feel like to you?"

"I feel like my heart is racing and…"

"Good," he interrupted. "I'm on the right path. Do you feel brave enough to keep going – and we can keep talking about those babies while we explore what it's like to be truly married to each other?"

His beautiful eyes searched hers, waiting for her response and not pressing her for more. She knew at that moment that if she needed to back out or was worried, he would let her move away from him and give her more time.

"Let's go exploring… and I think we should have several babies."

"Several, huh?" he chuckled softly, leaning down to kiss her again as he moved slightly from where he was lying beside her. "Then we should start our expedition together, my brave wife… shouldn't we?"

And Christina closed her eyes, allowing this bubble of love around them to swell and take over everything around her at that moment. Every touch, every kiss, every whispered endearment, was made in love – and she had never been happier than she was now.

* * *

Later that evening, they lay there together, basking in the silence that felt completely different this time. Christina didn't feel rejected or ignored. She felt treasured and beloved by her husband. She never imagined that making love would involve so much talking and communication between them, but that is what made it special. He was reaching for her, mentally and emotionally, as well as physically. The fact that it meant so much to him to make her happy was beyond beautiful and she couldn't imagine sharing herself with anyone else after that.

"Can I say something awful?" Gideon asked, chuckling softly as his hand was gently rubbing along her back as she tugged the horse blanket up higher on them both. "I'm really glad you can't pitch all that well. I can't believe you threw cow poop at me – and more than once…"

Christina propped up on her elbows to look at him, grinning as they shared a knowing look.

"Just so you know what happens if I catch you talking to other women and ignoring me again."

"I'm so glad you warned me."

"I'm pretty wonderful like that," she quipped, meeting his warm smile.

"Yeah you are, sweetheart."

"I like this," she admitted, laying her head back down on his chest and listening to his steady heartbeat. It was just so nice to hold him and cuddle against him, and he seemed to be enjoying this too. "I feel like we are in our own world, our own environment, a little paradise of our making."

"I like that, but I do have to admit that our paradise is a little chilly," he chuckled softly. "While I love the body heat, I'm not going to lie – I have hay poking me in places that are vaguely disturbing and was thinking perhaps we could take this to our cabin."

"Oh yeah?"

"How does a nice roaring fire, some cozy blankets, a few soft pillows, and one adoring husband sound?"

"That sounds pretty darn good," she smiled, looking up at him. "So we'll go back to the cabin, cuddle under the covers, make sure you don't have hay in certain places, and get some rest?"

"Whoa, there," he laughed in mock-distress. "Who said anything about resting? I thought maybe we could cuddle and go ‘exploring' again in just a bit."

"So we are calling our alone time together ‘exploring'?"

"What should we call it? Adventures in baby-making? Adventure with the Becks? Beck and call? Becking and Necking?" he teased, handing her a T-shirt as she laughed easily.

"Becking and Necking do sound quite adventurous," she grinned, meeting his wide smile and dancing eyes as he stood up, jerking on his clothing. "And as the newest Beck, do I have the honor of deciding what we call things between us?"

"You're the only one who does, Sweetheart," Gideon said tenderly, holding out his hand to her.

* * *

A week later, the pink bubble of love surrounding the two of them hadn't faded in the slightest. She adored the fact that when Gideon got up in the mornings, he always hit snooze and then scooted closer to her, wrapping his arm around her middle and holding her. It was like starting each morning with the best hug in the world.

Honestly, she was sincerely impressed by her husband and all the different facets of his personality. One minute, he might be talking trash with the guys, almost to the point that it was obnoxious and unbearable, and the next, he would put his hand under the table, lacing his fingers with hers. It was like he treasured some of the softer moments that he had discovered since their meeting and last night topped them all.

"Where are the trash bags, Christina?"

"Um, they are right over here," she replied, digging in the small cabinet toward the back. "Is the trash full already? I just emptied it this morning and…"

"N-No," he stammered, looking distinctly uncomfortable – and she paused. Oh, she knew that look, and the man was up to something.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing. Never mind."

"Gideon, what's on your mind?"

"Well, I thought I'd try something, but it's probably stupid and…"

"What are you thinking of trying?" she chuckled, marveling at the indecisive yet embarrassed look on his face. "Can I help you?"

"I, uh, well, um… I thought of trying to take a bubble bath like you do, and then I realized that I'd need to hang my leg practically out of the tub because of how high the cast goes. It's probably dumb, and I have a hard enough time showering with this thing. Have I mentioned I am ready for it to come off tomorrow?" he finished, letting out a sigh and sagging his shoulders. She loved his sighs, how animated he could be when they were alone, and this soft, gentle side to him.

"Let's try it, and I'll help you."

"Are you sure?"

"I think between the two of us, we can get creative about how to manage your leg, and this would be a perfect time to do so. I mean, if we mess up your cast and get it wet, it comes off tomorrow regardless."

"That's true."

"But let's try not to get it wet because then it will make sleeping cold and uncomfortable for you as well."

"Yeah, no thanks," he chuckled and then looked at her. "Do you think we can do this? If we can't, it's okay. I can just wash your back with envy and try it tomorrow," pausing for a moment as he hesitated. "And this stays between us. The guys would harass me to no end if they knew."

"Just you and me… Bubbles," she whispered, teasing him and kissing his chin. "I'll start the water."

Not ten minutes later, Gideon was beaming proudly and sighing happily with bubbles up to his chin and his entire leg propped on the side of the tub at some weird angle. He was lying on his side, looking at her with so much love and adoration that she thought her heart would explode.

"What's that look for?" she whispered, brushing a bubble off his spiky hair that was growing out as he angled, stretching slightly, and managed to purse his lips to kiss her fingertips from his position almost playfully.

"I just think you have the best ideas and feel lucky that you actually like me," he beamed, sighing happily. "Whenever we leave here or get settled somewhere, I want us to have a big ol' tub like this."

And Christina laughed at the adolescent joy in his tone.

"Don't laugh," he chuckled. "I mean, in the Army, it was showers all the time and when you are in the field, sometimes it's days. I can't remember the last time I took an actual bubble bath – and you might have the right idea about soaking at night. This feels so dang good," he uttered and then winked at her. "But you still hold first place in my heart."

"So I'm better than a bubble bath?" she smiled as he rolled from his side slightly onto his tummy and then caught himself as his leg started to slip, bursting out laughing at his own antics.

And grabbed her off the bench.

"Whoooaaa!" Christina balked, laughing wildly as he pulled her into the bubble bath with him, fully dressed. His head went under the water and shot back up, shaking his head and laughing as she sputtered in disbelief and saw his tender gaze.

"I love you," he murmured softly, touching her cheek. "And I was lonely."

"I love you too, but your cast is going to get wet," she whispered, leaning forward at the same time he did, moving to kiss him.

"It comes off tomorrow…" he reminded her, his voice warm and full of longing. "And besides, I was distracted."

"Oh?"

"I can't get the idea of ‘Becking and Necking' out of my mind…"

"Me neither," she smiled softly as he kissed her tenderly.