Chapter 4

Declan didn't sleep well after his night out with Ty. He had so much on his mind, and he felt a little overwhelmed trying to figure out what he should do when. He didn't even know where to start. It didn't help that he looked at the people around him and they all seemed to have their shit together.

Ronan and Renee both had their own houses. Sure, they were older than him, but if he considered where they had been at his age, they still would've been way ahead of him. Even Ty, who just moved back to the city had a steady job and a place to live.

After tossing and turning well into the morning, he lay in bed and heard Renee and Sadie making noise in the kitchen. Then it got quiet again. Part of him felt like he was hiding out, and he didn't really know why, but he wasn't ready to hang out with them. He was too lost in his own head. When it quieted again, he got dressed and left without a word.

He decided the least he could do was focus on getting things done at Renee's while he figured out the rest of his life. And if he wanted to start work, he'd need the tools that he'd stored at his mom's house. He hopped a bus to get there, figuring he'd take a ride share back so he wouldn't have to try to juggle all his tools.

As he walked down the block toward his childhood home, he looked around the neighborhood. It was a good neighborhood, the kind of place where people knew each other and made lasting friendships. He'd never thought about it much, and he hadn't lived in a place like this since, but there was comfort in coming back. He paused in the middle of the block and let memories wash over him. Even with the shadow of his dad's disappearance, he'd had a great childhood.

He continued his path and realized that Ronan's truck was parked in front of the house. Maybe he wouldn't have to pay for a ride back to Renee's after all. He climbed the new concrete steps and swung the door open. "Hey, Ma!" he yelled.

He heard shuffling coming from the kitchen and then his mom was standing in the doorway, stern look on her face, as always when he entered the house like that.

"Why must you all yell to announce your presence? It's a wonder they never threw me out of this neighborhood."

He neared her and wrapped her in a bear hug. "Nah, they love us here."

Ronan sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I came to pick up some of my tools."

Ann leaned back from his arms. "You have a job?"

He smiled. She was always hopeful. "Kind of. I'm staying with Renee Kane—Griggs, Tyler's sister. Her house needs some work. Speaking of," he said, turning to Ronan. "I need to start with her windows. Do you have an account set up somewhere so I can get them wholesale for her?"

"Sure. You need me to place the order?"

"No. I've got the measurements and everything. I just need to use your account."

"You sure you measured right? I can stop by later if you want."

Declan swallowed his irritation. He knew Ronan wasn't questioning him to be a dick. He didn't see Declan as anything but his screw-up little brother. "I got it. I know how to measure."

Ronan pulled out his phone, scrolled for a minute, and then Declan's phone buzzed with a text.

"That's all the info you'll need." He smiled. "And if you talk nicely to Lindsay, the girl who usually mans the phones, she might give you a little extra discount."

"I'll charm her so good you'll get the discount on the next ten orders you have."

Ann walked past him shaking his head. "You should learn to use that charm for good instead of evil."

"This is good. I'm saving Renee money. She needs all the help she can get."

His mom put a cup of coffee on the table. "Sit. I have some cake. Unless you'd rather have some eggs and toast."

"I don't need you to cook anything, Mom."

"It's no bother."

"You didn't offer to cook me breakfast when I came in." Ronan said.

"You looked like you already ate."

Declan reached over and tapped his brother's hard abdomen. "Maybe it's time for a diet, bro."

Ronan swatted his hand away.

A moment later, their mother was sliding a piece of coffee cake in front of each of them.

"So what are you doing at Renee's besides windows?"

"I'm not sure. The house is rundown. And she's pretty broke, I think. The windows are the most important. Then, probably paint. I don't know what her budget is for big projects like the kitchen and bathrooms. You should see this house. I swear, her house was last decorated by someone Mamó's age," he said referencing their grandmother.

"That bad, huh?"

"Yeah. I think she wants to do the kitchen, but she's being practical and doing the things that need to be done first."

"I'll let you know if I come across extra material."

"Thanks. Every bit will help." He drank his coffee and swallowed the coffee cake. They chatted about Ronan's work, carefully avoiding any conversation about where his investigation into their dad's disappearance was heading. Declan didn't want to talk about it anymore. He was still sorting his shit about that revelation.

After finishing a second piece of cake, he stood. "I'm going to grab my tools from the basement. Can you give me a ride back to Renee's? I can wait if you're not done here."

"I can do that. We can head out whenever you're ready."

Declan went to the basement to the side of the house opposite to where his mother had her at-home salon set up. Over the years, this entire half of the basement had become storage for all of them as they moved out but still wanted to cling to parts of their childhood.

Unfortunately, none of them were great at keeping things organized, so his stuff was mixed in with everyone else's. Whenever one of his siblings came to unbury what they wanted, something else became buried.

He'd moved about five boxes in various directions when he heard someone coming down.

"You need help?" Ronan asked.

"If you're offering."

Ronan stood next to him, staring at the stacks of boxes and crates. "What are you looking for?"

Declan squinted his eyes in thought. "I'm pretty sure there are boxes with my name scribbled on the side. Not a hundred percent sure. I was moving in a hurry."

He'd broken up with Sheila—no Shelly—and she'd flipped out and started throwing his stuff all over the lawn. He'd had to scoop up things quickly before they walked off.

He had a sudden thought. "No. Wait. The tools are in old milk crates."

His clothes made it into boxes, but he'd used crates for tools since they stuck up all over and wouldn't fit neatly in a box.

Ronan sighed and hefted some boxes out of the way. It took into the third row for them to find the crates. At least all three of them were together. They yanked them out and reset the boxes they'd moved.

His brother looked in the crates and grunted.

"I don't need your criticism. I haven't needed most of these tools in a while and like I said, it was a fast move. I usually take better care of them." At least he would if he had a place to keep them.

"These aren't the best tools."

"Some of us can't afford the best. We get what we can that'll still get the job done."

"These won't last the duration of a rehab. Good quality tools cost more upfront, but they last longer so you're not wasting money replacing them. Not to mention the frustration when they don't work." He grabbed a crate and headed toward the stairs. "We can stop by my house. I have some extras you can borrow or have."

"I don't need your charity."

"You're my brother, and I have extra."

As much as he wanted to do things on his own, Declan started to see that no matter what, Ronan was always going to be his big brother. He and Brendan were kind of hard-wired to take care of their younger siblings. "Thanks. I appreciate it. I'll borrow them and return them when I'm done."

Another grunt. Declan didn't understand how Chloe figured out how to interpret Ronan's various grumbles and grunts. They pushed through the old door at the top of the stairs and set the crates in the kitchen.

"Where's Chloe?" Declan asked.

"She went to church with her parents and then they have lunch."

"Weren't you invited?" Ronan always said Chloe's parents didn't like him, but that was cold, seeing as he was right across the street.

"She invited me. I wasn't up for the whole church thing."

Their mom shot them a look from the sink where she was washing dishes.

"I get that. So is she moving in?"

"That's the plan. As soon as her lease is up."

"Maybe you should make an honest woman out of her," Ann said.

"She's as honest as they come. She doesn't need my help."

Declan hooted a laugh.

"You know damn well what I mean."

"Yeah, I'm teasing, Mom. We'll get there. I can't think about that until Brendan and I find the answers about Dad."

Mom's face brightened at the admission of an inevitable wedding. Declan shook his head. "How the mighty have fallen. I never would've guessed you'd be the first to settle down."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Come on. Brendan? Sure. Gavin? Definitely. Even Nessa. But you? You've always been...I don't know restless."

Ronan huffed. "You're one to talk."

"That's what I'm sayin'. I'm not the one hearing wedding bells."

"I didn't expect it either. Shit just happens."

Not to Declan it didn't. He'd led his life to avoid such traps.

Sunday breezed by and nothing had changed in the house, other than having an extra person around, which felt odd. It wasn't as if Renee had expected Declan to show up and magically alter her house, but she at least wanted a plan.

She gave him the weekend to settle in. He, however, went out Sunday. She hadn't heard him come in, so she wasn't a hundred percent sure he even came back home. But today, they needed to develop a to-do list so she could plan her finances.

After showering and dressing, she went to Sadie's room to wake her. Her little girl had been so excited for her first day of real school, she'd had a hard time falling asleep. Renee had read her three stories and rubbed her back and snuggled her until she'd finally drifted off. Renee hadn't been far behind.

Sadie growled and rolled over.

"Time to get up. School today." Sadie was in the afternoon session for kindergarten, but Renee still wanted her to maintain a regular schedule.

Those were the magic words. Sadie popped up. "When do we go?"

"I told you. Not until after lunch. Get up now and I'll make you waffles for breakfast. You'll have time to play and watch TV. Then, after lunch, I'll take you to school."

"That's soooo long."

Renee smiled. "Not as long as you think. Get moving. I'll start the waffles."

She headed to the kitchen to make some much-needed coffee and figure out how to wake Declan and get him working without treating him like Sadie. Oh, God. What if he slept naked? Declan was totally the type of guy to sleep naked. She couldn't just let herself in his room to wake him then.

She was so caught up in her thoughts she didn't hear him in the kitchen. She should've noticed the water running, but she was more worried about seeing him naked. And then, there he was, standing at her sink, chugging a glass of water. Naked.

His bare back was to her, muscles rippling as he drank. Her gaze followed down to see that he wasn't in fact naked, but he was standing in her kitchen wearing nothing but boxers.

She shook herself. "What are you doing?"

He turned slowly and held up the glass. With a sleepy smile, he said, "Getting a drink."

She inhaled deeply. "I meant, why are you standing in your underwear?"

His brow furrowed beneath his dark, sleep-tousled hair. "Because I just woke up?"

"I have a five-year-old little girl. She should not see you in your boxers."

"You said she had school today."

Renee blinked, surprised he would remember. "She doesn't go until afternoon."

"Okay."

She threw up her hands. "New rule. No walking around in your underwear. You must be fully clothed."

She crossed her arms and waited for him to make his way back to his room.

Instead, he stepped closer, shortening the distance between them by half. She checked her instincts to back away.

"What's the matter? Afraid you won't be able to control yourself?" He waved a hand in front of his bare, muscled chest.

She couldn't help but follow the movement but quickly covered with an eye roll. "Fuck you."

He sucked in a sharp breath, and his blue eyes grew comically wide. "Better watch it, Rennie, or I'll tell Sadie what a potty mouth you have."

"Don't call me that."

"It's a term of endearment."

"I hate it."

"I know." He chuckled and turned around toward his bedroom.

She absolutely did not watch his ass as he left. Instead, she busied herself making coffee and a batch of waffles for breakfast.

"I got the window company information from my brother last night. I also picked up my tools from my mom's house, so we can start on whatever project you want," he called from behind his nearly closed bedroom door.

"Okay."

The door opened as she cracked eggs into the bowl. He was still bare-chested, and she focused on whisking the eggs into the flour as he pulled on his T-shirt.

"I'm going to call the company in a bit to get a price. It'll probably take a couple of weeks to get the windows. What's the next thing you want to work on?"

She blew out a heavy breath. "Let's get a price first and then I can see."

He walked across the room and refilled his glass. Leaning on the counter beside her, he said, "We can start with something simple like painting rooms, assuming you don't want to do any altering of the space."

"Won't the walls get messed up when you rip the windows out?"

"Not if you know what you're doing. I shouldn't have to do anything more than some touch-ups around the new window."

"Well, then, I suggest you come up with a plan for Sadie's room since you made promises to her."

"And I'll keep them. Like I said, it's just paint. So if she wants silly polka dots now and in two years she decides she's over it and wants the entire room puke green, it's a couple coats of paint." He gulped his water.

He seemed really defensive and Renee had no idea what she'd done to put him there, but all she could think was that in two years, she'd be trying to figure out how to get that work done again because surely Declan would have moved on.

"Okay. Besides the paint and brushes, what do you need? Do I have to clear out the room?" She suddenly had images of trying to figure out where Sadie could sleep while her room was torn apart. She opened the waffle maker and poured the batter.

"She doesn't have much in there. I can probably move it all to the middle of the room and cover it."

"She's supposed to be at Graham's this weekend, so maybe we can do it then?" Although they hadn't talked specifics of when he would work, she didn't generally think he'd give up his weekends.

"Sounds good. It'll be a nice surprise when she gets back."

"You're okay with working through your weekend?"

"It won't take the whole weekend and she's a kid. It's not like we can tell her she can't play with her toys or sleep in her bed."

She started at his words. We. As if they made decisions together for her little girl. It had been so long since she'd been a part of a we that she didn't know how to react to hearing him talk like that.

"Thanks," she said quietly. For a guy who was all about making sure he had a good time, he was turning out to be far more thoughtful than she considered. "Waffles will be ready in a few minutes. You want some eggs, too?"

"I'll eat whatever you make. I'm gonna call the window company." He moved into the dining room and sat at the table.

She cracked a few eggs into a bowl and added a splash of milk. After removing the first waffles, she poured the next batch. From the other room, she heard Declan on the phone.

"Hey, Lindsay, just the woman I was hoping to speak to. Ronan Doyle referred me to you. I'm looking to get a price on some windows." He paused, then chuckled. "Yeah, sorry to let you know, my brother is definitely no longer single. Yeah. Sure."

The man flirted with everyone. Some things never changed. She shook her head and scrambled the eggs. A moment later, she heard Sadie.

"What do you think? Is this the best first day of school outfit?" Renee leaned over, thinking Sadie was asking her, but she twirled in front of Declan.

"Sadie. Declan is on the phone. Leave him alone."

Declan shot her a look and said to the phone, "Lindsay, can you hold on a minute? I have a kindergartner who needs some first-day-of-school fashion advice." Another chuckle. Then he looked seriously at Sadie. "That, my lady, is a beautiful dress. But the real question is, can you run and climb in it? It's a nice day and you might want to play on the playground with all your new friends."

Her daughter considered his comments seriously. "Good point." Then she took off running.

Declan returned to his call. "Sorry about that, Lindsay. Let me get you those measurements."

Renee tuned out the rest of the conversation and finished making breakfast. When Declan hung up, Sadie asked his opinion on her next outfit. They both deemed it the best choice. Renee shook her head. "Breakfast is ready."

Sadie came running in. "I'll have three waffles."

"You won't eat three waffles."

"Yes, I will. I'm starving."

"How about you start with one and have some eggs? I promise there will be more if you're still hungry."

Sadie leaned close up on tiptoe and tugged Renee's shirt. Renee bent over to listen to her daughter's whisper. "Declan eats a lot. He's big. He ate like ten pieces of pizza."

Renee bit back a laugh. "I promise there will be enough. And if we run out, I can make more."

She handed Sadie her plate as Declan came into the room.

"Never a good sign when two women are whispering together. You're either talking about me or planning to take over the world."

Renee smiled and handed him a plate. She waited until Sadie was in the dining room. "She was worried you might eat all the waffles. They're her favorite. You ate like ten pieces of pizza," she mimicked.

"Taken down by a five-year-old."

"Thank you for indulging her by the way. You didn't have to do that."

He gave her a confused look.

"Interrupting your call to talk clothes?" she clarified.

"It took two seconds and it made her happy." He shrugged and walked away. He sat at the table and chatted with Sadie.

She grabbed her plate and joined them. Sadie chattered about school and asked questions, as if either she or Declan remembered a whole lot of what kindergarten had been like. Declan distracted her by showing her paint samples so she could choose a color. It took far too long, but she settled on a bright blue.

Then Sadie began telling him all about a story she made up about a superhero. He listened intently, and Renee wondered how long it would take before Declan grew tired of this kind of interaction.