Chapter 36

The next couple of weeks in Renee's life were super quiet. She'd managed to get a couple of job interviews lined up, which was good because the silence of her house in the afternoons was starting to get on her nerves. Maybe she should get a dog.

Sadie would love a dog.

Graham never wanted a dog. He thought they were too much work. When Sadie was a baby, she agreed, but now? She'd like a friend to hang out with during the day.

But if she went back to work in an office all day, that might not be fair to the dog.

Instead of assessing why she thought her house was suddenly too quiet, she looked up some animal shelters.

But then she found herself hearing Declan's voice comment on the dogs she looked at. She couldn't stop the smile.

Fuck. She missed him. They'd talked via text most days. He was busy working with Ronan. Logically, she knew that, but part of her felt like he was quiet quitting, a slow ghost until she no longer noticed he wasn't around.

She made a point not to pressure him or ask him to come over. She was just glad he'd kept his breakfasts with Sadie. And she'd get to see him this afternoon at Sadie's Halloween show.

She sent another reminder text to both Declan and Graham about the show time.

Declan swore he'd make it.

Graham said he'd try.

Fucking men.

Outside, fat snowflakes started to fall. There wasn't supposed to be any real accumulation, but it sucked. Hopefully, it would warm up by tomorrow. There was nothing worse than trying to trick-or-treat in freezing weather. No one could see your costume because you had to wear a coat. Staying out and making multiple trips through the neighborhood wouldn't happen because you got too cold.

This was the first year Sadie would really get to have fun.

Renee got to the school early and snagged three chairs together off to the side. She debated the sense of that move, but she prayed Graham wouldn't make any of his usual snarky comments.

Folded paper programs were passed out. She snapped a picture and sent it to Graham in case he didn't make it. Kids from older grades piled in and sat on the floor in front of the stage.

When the kindergarteners filed onto the stage, taking their places on the risers, some pointed to kids she guessed were siblings.

Sadie might never have that. Chairs filled up and people began giving her sideways looks for saving two chairs.

When the lights dimmed, her heart sank. She was the only one who showed up for Sadie.

She tried not to get teary-eyed watching her baby perform with a big smile on her face. The songs were silly and the kids forgot words, but she loved every minute of it.

The lights came on and she stood to wave to Sadie. But Sadie was already waving wildly in the other direction. Renee turned around to see Declan blow a kiss to Sadie and duck back out the door.

He came.

He told Sadie he'd show up and he did.

Renee wiped a tear away. She reminded herself that him showing for Sadie was more important than how she felt. It didn't matter that she wanted him sitting beside her. It was okay he wasn't that person for her.

She'd get over it.

After her two quiet weeks, the payback was two days of total chaos. The weather was all over the place, and while Sadie had fun trick-or-treating, the sugar overload was getting on Renee's last nerve. Sadie had the day off school. Teachers knew what they were doing there, making it an in-service day.

So Renee had to keep Sadie entertained. She was distracted and totally botched one of her job interviews. To top it off, the back door kept sticking.

Of course that meant every time Sadie went in and out—which was like every four freaking minutes—she slammed it harder and harder to get it to close.

"Stop slamming the door," Renee called as Sadie grabbed a water bottle to take outside. Renee waited a second to hear the thump, but it didn't come. "Thank God she actually listened."

Renee turned her attention back to the job boards. She'd been considering getting in touch with a headhunter to see if that would help. Maybe she should take a course or two to brush up on her skills.

The doorbell rang, which was her sign to put her computer away. Pizza had arrived. That meant food, bath, and then it would be wine time. She paid for the pizza and went to call Sadie in.

She saw why she hadn't heard the door slam. Sadie had left it open. "Pizza's here! Time to come in."

Sadie came running to the door. She grabbed the handle and yanked. The door didn't budge. "Mom. It won't close."

Fuck. She did not need this shit tonight. "Go wash up."

Sadie took off to the bathroom and she pulled the door. It wouldn't move for her either. Turning her body so she could put one hand on the handle and the other on the back of the door, she nudged it with her hip to apply pressure.

It squeaked and moved maybe a half-inch.

Renee took a deep breath.

She walked away from the door and poured a glass of wine. If she'd learned nothing else about having a run-down house, it was that she needed to step back when something went wrong. She took her glass into the dining room where Sadie was waiting.

Renee scrolled through videos on her phone to see if she could figure out what happened to the door and how to fix it.

An hour later, her frustration was growing. She had her measly spread of tools on the kitchen floor and she was on her fifth video showing her how to lever the edge of the sliding door up to adjust the rollers underneath.

She managed to smash her fingers at least five times and nothing had improved. She even thought about kicking it.

Sadie came up behind her with a wrench. "Try this one, Mom."

Renee huffed. "A wrench won't work for this. Please just go back and watch your movie."

"Declan lets me help."

Those were the last words she needed to hear. "Well, I'm not Declan and he's not here."

Sadie's eyes got wide at her sharp words. Renee immediately felt guilty. She blew out a breath. "I'm sorry I snapped at you. I'm frustrated. How about I make some popcorn and watch the movie with you?"

"You're gonna leave the door open?"

"I'll work on it more later. You know how sometimes when you're doing homework and it's hard and I tell you to take a break? This is the same."

"Okay. But for sure you'll fix it tonight?"

"I'm gonna try."

"But if you can't close the door a bad guy could come in."

"You don't have to worry about bad guys. You're safe."

They sat on the couch, snacking on popcorn, and watching cartoon superheroes. But Renee's brain was stuck like the door. She put on a serene smile for her daughter and got her into bed.

Then with her glass of wine, she went back to the kitchen. Again, she Googled how to fix the door. She took it step by step, pausing the video to follow the actions and to rub her hands to warm her numb fingers. For two more hours, she tried again and again. Finally, she did kick the door.

She stared at her phone. "I'll call and if it goes to voicemail, he's busy. It's Friday night. He might be out. He sure as hell doesn't need a crazy woman bothering him at ten o'clock."

She dialed Declan's number.

"Hey, babe. What's up?"

The calm, casual way he spoke made all of her resolve crumble. She inhaled deeply, but her breath hitched.

"Renee, what's wrong?"

She swallowed. "I know it's late. And I tried to fix it myself but the back door is stuck. I can't get it to move. I've watched a ton of videos showing me what to do, but I think I might've made it worse. And Sadie is afraid bad guys are gonna come in?—"

"I'll be there soon."

"If you can just tell me what to do to get it to close. I'll call someone to fix it tomorrow."

"The hell you will. I'm on my way."

Then he hung up.

Declan raced over to Renee's house. He'd never been so glad to be a truck owner in his life. He didn't have to wait for a ride or figure out how to get his tools there. Everything he needed was in his truck.

He grabbed a bucket of tools and went to the front door. He used his key to get in.

"Renee?" he called quietly, assuming Sadie was in bed.

"In here," she called.

He went to the kitchen and saw her sitting on the floor, surrounded by a mess of mismatched tools and a glass of wine.

She looked up at him and it was the most pitiful thing he'd ever seen. She got up from the floor.

"I told Sadie to stop slamming the door. I think today was one time too many. It won't budge. I tried to shove it. I tried to adjust the rollers. Then Sadie wanted to help and I snapped at her and she's worried about bad guys. And then I kicked the fucking thing."

Damn. She was freaking out. He didn't know what else to do, so he pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry I bothered you on a Friday night."

"You're not bothering me. You should've called me as soon as it happened."

"It's not your job anymore. You moved out. Moved on."

He pulled her away from his chest. "I didn't move on from you. I moved on from my life of nothing. I want to build a business with Ronan, but I'm not leaving you."

Her eyes were glassy and he wasn't sure if it was the wine or tears. "We agreed?—"

"We agreed we'd give this a real try. I moved out to be able stay with you."

"That doesn't make sense."

"As long as I was living here, rent-free, I could never be the partner you want and need. I'd be a fun cabana boy."

"Declan, that's not how I see you."

He smiled. "Kind of. Not in a bad way. I know that. But I want more. I know I need to prove to you I can be more. Part of that is building this business with my brother."

"You don't need to change your life for me."

"I'm changing it for me. And I can't do that here. But we're not done. I told you that weeks ago."

"I thought you were easing away quietly. Slow ghosting the relationship. No conflict. No trouble. I haven't seen you. And even when you came to Sadie's Halloween show, you were there and then gone."

"I haven't been around as much because I've been busy running around and setting things up for me and Ronan. He's still working full-time, so it's on me to get things moving. And when I came to the Halloween show, I came in a couple of minutes late. I was literally in between jobs. I wanted Sadie to know I showed up, but I didn't want to cause a problem for you if Graham saw me there. So, no, I'm not ghosting you."

She looked startled. "Oh."

"In fact, I'd planned to take you out next weekend."

"What?"

"On a date, Renee. Let's go out."

"I don't?—"

"Ty said he'd babysit if Graham flakes on taking Sadie."

"You arranged a babysitter?"

"He's my best friend and her uncle. It wasn't a hard ask."

She blinked up at him.

"You got some other objection?"

"I thought..."

"I know what you thought. I just cleared that up, didn't I?"

"Okay. Let me know when."

"Friday night. Pick you up at seven." He leaned in and gave her a quick kiss. "Now, let me figure out the door."

"At the risk of making you mad, can you show me how to fix it, so if it happens again, I'll know what to do?"

"I'll show you, but you won't need to do it."

"It's my house."

"I'll handle it. And anything else that needs to be fixed."

He watched as her shoulder muscles relaxed and a slow smile spread across her face.

"Do you know how sexy those words are?"

"What?"

"I'll handle it. Because I believe you will. It's been a long time since I've been able to depend on someone like that."

"To think that's all I had to say to get you naked." He lowered his mouth to hers. Kissing her was the best feeling. Like coming home after a long day.

It had been too long since he'd held her and tasted her. He had a hard time pulling away. He rested his forehead against hers. "For the record, if I have my way, you'll never be without that again. I want to be that person for you."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close again. "What do you get out of this? It feels like you're always doing for me. That's not much of a partnership."

He didn't have to think, but he wasn't sure of the right words. He knew what she was for him, but no matter how he thought about it, it sounded corny as hell. "You make me a better person just by being around you. I like who I am with you. You give me someplace to belong."

He kissed her again and then tapped her ass. "Now move it. I have manly things to do here."

She snorted and laughed, which was what he was going for.

"Watch close, and I'll flex my muscles for you."

"You're in fine form tonight, aren't you?"

"You ain't seen nothin' yet."

As he propped the door up, he tried to explain what she should look for and how to turn the screwdriver to adjust the roller. Mostly, she listened and drank her wine, which was how it should be.

A week later, Renee kissed Sadie goodbye when Graham showed up to take her for the weekend. Then she changed into a dress and heels. Her stomach tumbled.

Why the hell am I nervous? This is Declan.

He rang the bell when he arrived. She answered the door with a smile. "It's okay to use your key."

He lifted a shoulder in that careless way he had. "I figured since this is a proper date, I should treat it like one."

He handed her a bouquet of flowers.

"Thank you." She accepted them and ushered him inside. "You don't need to do anything special. We can keep it low-key."

She was trying to keep her own expectations in check, and she knew it.

"You deserve to have someone spoil you a little. You look gorgeous, by the way." He pointed a finger up and down the length of her. "This doesn't look so low-key."

"I wasn't sure where we're going."

"Anywhere you want."

"Can we go to the bar and dance?"

"You want to go to a bar?"

"I had a lot of fun that night we went out and danced."

"You got it."

They took her car because according to Declan, his work truck was too smelly for her. At the bar, they ordered food and drinks and talked. They talked about everything. Little things that happened over the week and big things like what they wanted. It was almost like he hadn't left her life at all.

And when he pulled her into his arms on the dance floor, she felt safe and relaxed. Like she belonged there. "I wish you hadn't moved out," she whispered in his ear.

"Rennie—"

"First, don't call me that. Second, I understand why you did, but it's lonely without you there. I got used to your noise."

"Turn on the radio."

She chuckled. "You laugh, but after you were gone for like a week, I almost went out and got a dog."

He stepped back, twirled her away from his body and tugged her back. "Are you saying I could be replaced by a dog?"

"No. Not really. But it would be another presence in the house. I don't think you realize how big your personality is. I miss it." It was tough to admit it, but she wanted him to know.

"I miss you, too, Rennie."

"I will never miss that."

His chest vibrated under her hand with his laugh. "I want to get this right. That means I have to build up my life so I can be your equal partner. In the meantime, we date."

"Are you going to spend the night?"

"Is that an invitation?"

"Consider it an open invitation."

"Are we going to tell Sadie about us?"

Her heart lurched and she licked her lips. "I don't know if I'm ready."

His jaw set, but he said, "Okay."

"It's not you. This is new. Us. Me dating."

"I get it." He stopped dancing and held her face, his gaze boring into her. "But hear this. I'm not going anywhere. I love you and I love Sadie."

She froze.

"Ah, fuck. I freaked you out, didn't I?"

She gulped in air and a smile filled her face. Her whole body. "You do?"

"Of course I do, you big dummy."

"I love you, too. I just thought we weren't there yet. Or shouldn't be there yet. I don't know. It's fast, right?"

"I've known you most of my life. We lived together for months. It feels right to me."

"It does, doesn't it?" She pressed close and kissed him again. "Take me home."

"Don't gotta tell me twice." He grabbed her hand, slapped cash on the table, and hustled her out the door.

"We don't have to run. We have all night."

"I have time to make up for. Plus, Sadie will be home next weekend, so I won't get this chance again for at least two weeks."

"We'll see. Maybe we can tell Sadie and see how she reacts."

He opened the car door for her. As she sat down, he winked at her. "I got this in the bag. Sadie loves having me around."

"We both do," Renee admitted.