13. Zacky

THIRTEEN

ZACKY

Not everyone knew about Zacky’s “memory loss.” He’d told his family that the last three years were…foggy. His mom was distressed about it, but with his family he had a lifetime of memories to rest on. It hadn’t taken long to feel normal around her. She’d fussed over him almost as bad as Cameron did and delighted in catching Zacky up on what everyone in their family had been up to in the last few years. His dad had gotten into fly-fishing in both universes. So much of what had happened in his own life happened in this universe, too.And talking to his brothers was more normal than nearly everything else.

It was trickier with the boys on the team. At first, Zacky tried to pretend that he only had regular concussion symptoms. But unlike with Cameron or his family, Zacky didn’t have years of memories with most of his teammates.

The first time Cameron invited Elliott, Shane, and Micah over to hang out was the first time Zacky had met them. And he wasn’t good at acting or lying.Cameron gave them the heads-up on what was going on, but he also told Zacky he’d do his best to keep the boys distracted so the focus wasn’t on Zacky.

Cameron’s main strategy was to get Micah, the youngest one of them who was preternaturally good at hockey, but still so innocent , excited about something. When Micah got excited, he could rally all the other guys into talking about whatever his current thing was. It took some heat off of Zacky. That night, when the boys came over for takeout and Uno, Micah was excited about the shopping trip he had gone on with Javier, Shane, and Elliott.

Javier, a vet with sophistication and a contract to match, existed on a completely different level than the eighteen-year-old rookie from Manitoba and blew his mind by buying him a high-quality bespoke suit.

“Javier didn’t buy me a suit,” Elliott grumbled as they settled into the couch after finishing their takeout. The rest of the guys had beers in their hands, but Zacky had a La Croix. It would be a while before he got cleared to drink again. He was next to Cameron on the love seat, Cameron’s arm draped over the couch cushion Zacky was leaning against. Cameron splayed out, legs spread wide, taking up so much space it was driving Zacky crazy. His crewneck was stretched over his chest, riding up enough so Zacky could see the elastic of his boxer briefs and no more. In a different world, Zacky could climb on his lap. Obviously not with guests over—probably.

“You don’t need handouts,” Shane said, rolling his eyes. Elliott had the most robust contract out of any of the guys in the room. He could buy himself a suit. Zacky snapped back to the conversation, trying to ignore the heat of Cameron’s body so close to his.

“And you probably weren’t wearing suits as bad as mine,” Micah said with an air of self-deprecating pride.

“There haven’t been too many bad suits this year,” Shane said. Of course, he was wrong. Hockey players might think they have style, but Zacky knew few of them actually did. He tried to fly under the radar with his suits.

“What about Porter’s all-black one?” Elliott asked, dopey grin on his face. The chirp was in good humor.

Cameron’s hand dropped from the back of the couch to Zacky’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “I don’t think that one got a second wear.”

Zacky froze. He hated moments like this, where he was supposed to remember something that he didn’t even think he was there for.

“It was, uh, two, three months ago?” Cameron said, voice lower, like he was only talking to Zacky. “It was boxy. CJ asked if you were going to be buried in it. It wasn’t that bad.”

Zacky could tell he was lying about that last bit because he wanted to make sure Zacky wasn’t sad. The hand on his shoulder morphed into Cameron’s arm around his shoulders as the conversation swerved into low-stakes interpersonal gossip from North Carolina courtesy of Elliott’s loose lips and the fact that his older brother, the captain of Carolina, was a habitual gossip. Zacky wondered how many of the North Carolina guys knew that he couldn’t remember shit.

“You doin’ okay?” Cameron asked him, pulling Zacky closer and leaning his head in close.The friendship bracelet he’d brought home from the roadie was still on his wrist. He claimed it was for luck. Cameron wasn’t very superstitious, but things had been weird lately, so maybe he was clinging to what he could. Regardless of the reason, Zacky liked it.

“Yeah, tired, but good.”

“You want me to kick them out?” Cameron said, as Elliott, Shane, and Micah crowded around Shane’s phone to see a funny TikTok he’d pulled up.

“Naw, it’s good they’re here.” Zacky figured the more he soaked up of these three before he had to rejoin the team, the better. There was probably no way around eventually telling the team his memory was fucked, but maybe this would help it seem not as drastic as it was.

Cameron kept his arm around Zacky’s shoulder but sat up enough to give Zacky’s La Croix a shake. It was empty. “I’m going to grab another beer. Do you want another water?”

“Yeah,” Zacky said, eyes following Cameron as he headed into the kitchen to refresh drinks.

“I want another beer!” Elliott called after him.

“Get it yourself,” Cameron called back. He reappeared with one beer and Zacky’s La Croix, cracking the can of sparkling water open for Zacky before handing it over, then twisting the cap off his beer.

“What is it like to have your own butler?” Elliott asked Zacky.

“Yeah, Elliott, tell us how you cook rice again?” Cameron teased. His roommate, Shane, had to make rice for him because he couldn’t figure it out and kept burning it to the bottom of the pan.

Cameron’s arm went back around Zacky’s shoulders. They had an easy physicality that the other guys didn’t seem to find weird or different, so Zacky assumed they were always like this. But it was hard to know where the limit was. If they were regular friends or if they were romantic, he would understand. But they were something else. CameronandZacky. Mostly, he let Cameron lead. He wasn’t lying about being tired though, and he let himself sag into Cameron’s side. Falling asleep on Cameron was becoming a common occurrence.

That morning, while Zacky had been making eggs, Cameron had come up behind him and rested his hands on Zacky’s hips, looking over his shoulder at the stove. A completely unnecessary move that sent an involuntary shiver through his whole body and made him drop his spatula. Cameron leaned over to grab it, pressing their bodies close. He knew Cameron wasn’t trying to create a sexy moment, but Zacky couldn’t turn away from the stove for a few minutes, lest Cameron catch a glimpse of the effect he’d had on him.

Before Cameron had left for practice, he gave Zacky a lingering hug, his hand cupping the back of Zacky’s head so gently.

Zacky didn’t know what his friendship with Cameron looked like in this universe. He wanted to ask his alternate-universe self if this was normal because every time he broached the topic with Cameron, Cameron assured him it wasn’t too outside their normal behavior. He didn’t know what it meant that he couldn’t tell how truthful Cameron was being.

Zacky took a deep breath in, then let it out. His body was tense, but it had been a while since he’d had anything in his ass. Honestly, he didn’t know how long it had been since this ass had seen any action. He stilled, took a breath, wondered if the dildo he’d found in his side table was too big for him.

How could it be? It was clearly his, even if he didn’t have one this big in his actual life. In real life, though, he had Cameron’s dick. Who needed a dildo when you had that?

Cameron and his dick were on the road for three days, and this time, Zacky had been allowed to stay home alone without a babysitter. He was feeling better. Slowly. Incrementally. Enough for the horny part of his brain to come out, guns blazing. He’d searched his bedroom high and low looking for clues about his life in the days after he woke up here and was pleased that the bottom drawer of his nightstand was unashamedly full of sex toys. Or, well, if not full, there were at least a handful.

He chose a dildo that had some respectable girth to it, the sparkly blue silicone of it pleasantly soft, with a little give like the real thing. Trying a new toy was always exciting—enough on its own to get him halfway hard, but now, flat on his back with his legs spread, knees bent, with just the head of it tucked into his ass, he needed more inspiration.

Hard to think of anyone other than his favorite wet dream. Cameron was big and broad and tall. He had big hands, a big dick, and by now, absolutely knew how to take Zacky apart. Plus, Zacky’s personal downfall: dimples. He imagined what it would be like to have Cameron there with him. It was an easy fantasy, given how many times Cameron had fucked him over the course of their lives together. Cameron, pressing him back into the mattress, his skin warm in the cold apartment. He would have patience as he pushed into Zacky, going slowly when he needed and giving him more when he could take it. He closed his eyes and slowly eased the dildo farther into him.

The last time he remembered having sex with Cameron, they hadn’t savored it. It was morning sex, quick and filthy, which Zacky loved because of how fucking horny Cameron was when he woke up. If Zacky had chosen a life partner with a different libido, he wouldn’t feel the same way. But Zacky was addicted to the half-asleep morning passion that Cameron would let take them both over, like if Cameron didn’t make both of them come before getting their day started, it would all be for naught. Cameron had rolled him to his stomach and slipped in, with the help of lube and the fact that it had only been a matter of hours since he’d last entered Zacky.

Zacky had been shivery with lust, and he tried to remember that feeling. It was hard to replicate solo. Not that he had a single complaint about masturbating—he did it plenty—but even Cameron’s most practiced moves kept Zacky guessing, kept him on his toes.

Their dirty talk had entered a new phase. It made Zacky feel old to think about how hot he got when Cameron asked him, voice low and gravelly and right in his ear, if he wanted Cameron to put a baby in him.

Well. Nothing killed a boner like the stab of longing for your person—the one you were planning on having babies with—who now…he didn’t know…lived in a different universe. Fuck. He eased the dildo out of himself and took a breath. Okay. Maybe next time he tried this, he’d go straight to porn.

He hoped the next time he tried, it didn’t end in him crying.

The world melted into time with Cameron and time without Cameron. Zacky’s head was slowly feeling better. He still had a ways to go before he’d be cleared for playing, but while Cameron was on another roadie, he’d gotten the go-ahead for light workouts. With his gentle training regimen, he started spending time in the gym in their apartment building and hitting the hot tub. Both activities were better with Cameron, but it wasn’t like he had a choice.

The YellowJackets were on the California trip, a three-game stint that would take them five days, and Zacky was biding his time doing free weights. The body he’d woken up in after his injury had probably ten pounds of muscle on it that he didn’t have in his real life, and it had been an adjustment to realize what he was capable of. He had also been cleared for “light jogging,” but he hated running. He’d do his cardio on the bike in a bit.

The gym was small, and Zacky wasn’t alone. There was a woman on the treadmill who had been running since before Zacky showed up at a pace that he would barely be able to hold for a minute, as well as a guy wearing huge headphones on the rower. He kept glancing over at Zacky, and he wasn’t sure if it was athletic interest, potential recognition—Zacky never got recognized—or attraction.

The rower was hot. If he wasn’t, Zacky wouldn’t be shooting him so many looks, either. He had broad shoulders and warm, medium-brown skin. It was hard to tell with him sitting, but he looked tall. Tall and broad-shouldered was Zacky’s type.

Zacky set his weight down to log his bicep curl reps on his phone, and Hot Rower stood up, towel around his neck, and came to stand near Zacky, arms crossed over his chest. He was smiling, not confrontational. The crossed arms put his muscle definition on display.

“Are you one of the hockey players? I heard there are a few who live in this building.”

“Uh, yeah, there’s two of us. How did you know?”

“The Jackets shirt. Are you Cameron?”

Zacky glanced down at the shirt he was wearing. It was one with Cameron’s number on it he had stolen before his universes got twisted up and never gave back. The rower had googled him. “I’m Zacky. Cameron is my roommate.”

“Oh,” Rower said, his eyebrows showing off how many thoughts he was having about that.

“Our laundry gets mixed up sometimes. I didn’t even realize it.”

Rower paused again, considering. Zacky decided that what he was seeing from his new gym friend was attraction. It was confirmed when he held out his hand.

“Give me your phone. I’ll put my number in it. You can hit me up if you need a spotter.”

Zacky did as he was told, unlocking his phone and pulling up a new contact for his friend to fill out. “I’m Julián, by the way.”

He gave Zacky a wink as he left. He was beautiful, and it would be nice to have a spotter when Cameron wasn’t here.

Behind him, the woman on the treadmill slowed to a walk and pulled her headphones out.

“Did he give you his number?” she asked incredulously, hands on her hips as her pace became a strut. Her brown hair was up in a high bun, and her workout set was sage green.

“Looks like it.”

“I guess that solves that mystery. I’ve been trying to catch his eye forever.”

“Well, I’m not going to use it.”

“Straight?” she assumed.

“I’m taken,” he said, avoiding the question. And he meant it. He was taken. He was married . And if that didn’t count right now, then he was in an unhealthy codependent friendship, which meant his heart wasn’t exactly accepting new applicants. Only hockey players named Cameron Orion Vesper.

“And the other one? He said there were two hockey players?”

“He’s taken too.”

Now that was a lie. But he didn’t think he could survive a head injury and watching Cameron date a woman at the same time.