Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Briar

(Five Years Ago)

I gasp for breath as soon as he moves off me. But my reprieve is short-lived as Ezra grips me by the ankles and lifts me into the air. I desperately grab onto the dirt beneath me as I try to hoist myself to maintain my balance. I’m forced into a handstand, my pussy in the air and bare to Ezra’s sinister stare.

“You realize what happens when you keep telling someone they can’t have something?” he asks as he lines the tip of his dick to my slick entrance.

I try to answer, but my voice is muffled as I gasp for air. I’m having a hard time breathing, but it’s not from strenuous activity. The lack of air comes from a place of exhilaration and fear. Even though I’ve known Ezra my whole life, the boy from my past is not apparent in the man whose hands grab my body with sheer possessive anger.

“They gorge on it. Like a fucking animal, they’ll rip into the sweetest sin as if their life depends on it. Zealots convince themselves that saying no is preventative and that if they impose harsh punishments, the sinful act will become undesirable. But it has the opposite effect. They only make those acts seem reprehensible from the view of the enforcer. The sin doesn’t dissipate; it festers in the darkness and lurks in the shadows, waiting for its moment to take root and erupt like a volcano.

“Let’s take you as an example. They could kill me for this. In fact, we could both end up six feet under. I’m supposed to be a good soldier fighting for the cause, and you, a good little virgin who will one day lie there with her legs open for a man much less deserving to fuck you.”

A bolt of pain tears through me as he thrusts into me with one forceful punch of his hips, breaking the barrier and impaling me with his cock.

“But the thing is, I’m going to fuck this pretty little cunt of yours until it’s sore and used up. Because it’s what I desire, more than life, more than money, more than anything else on this earth. So I won’t worry about tomorrow or next month. I’ll live for this moment and leave a lasting mark. Every time you fuck another man, you’ll remember it was me who opened you up. It was my cock that made you bleed first.”

The pain is unbearable, like tiny cuts embedded in me. His hips slow, and his violent thrusts are replaced with gentle movements.

“I’ll make it good for you, Fawn, don’t worry. But I can’t control the beast now that we’ve unleashed it. You have any idea how long I’ve waited for this? How perfect your body is under my touch? If I die at this moment, my life will have meaning.”

His words wash over me like acid and warm summer rain, a contradiction to the harsh reality of his touch. But I grasp the notion that he craves me, that he’s always wanted me. It’s hard to believe with the way he’s treated me in the last two years, but before that time, Ezra was my protector, my playmate, and my best friend. Two years of rejection and him keeping his distance don’t erase sixteen years of fond memories.

“You can deny it all you want, Ezra. Pretend you hate me for the world to witness, but it’s all a lie. You want me.”

My scream echoes throughout the forest as he pinches my clit with his index finger and thumb. He isn’t gentle, and his force is frightening in its violence.

“Does this feel like I love you?”

I inhale clean air into my lungs, collecting my composure. “I never said love, Ezra. That was your word. I said want. And yes, the pain you’re inflicting on my body tells me that your desire for me sickens you. But it’s there, boiling in your veins. Hate and love are two sides of the same coin. Your lies about your feelings have caused you to warp them into something else that you project. You took something good and turned it ugly. Turned love into hate, and now you don’t know which is which.”

His speed increases. His fingers grip my stomach as he hoists me to him. The pain is soothing and unbearable. “I get hard at the idea of you crawling to me, naked, nipple clamps on your big tits. Your beautiful stomach hanging to the floor. Sometimes I even think about having you on your back, and your rolls make my cock throb. My fingers pinching your full cunt lips as I stretch them and place the clamps there, slapping your clit until you cry in pain. I like the idea of hurting you, Fawn. I get rock hard at hearing you scream in pain. You know how fucked up that is?”

The tips of Ezra’s fingers slap at my breasts, leaving red welts and a stinging pain. “Is this what you want, Briar, to be my worthless little toy? To be used by me at my will. I’ll fuck you with my friends, Briar. You’ll beg for us to fill you with our cum. I’ll enjoy watching you humiliated like a common whore for me.”

I like knowing I’ll be the desire of multiple men. Knowing I’m not bound to one like my parents want. I want it. I want it all. The way he’s handling me should tell me I’m helpless, but it makes me powerful.

Ezra pulls my head up by my hair. The corner of his mouth turns up before he spits directly into my face in an act of dominance and humiliation. “Do you understand what I’ll do to you, Briar? I’ll fill your holes and leave you sore and used up. I’m going to let multiple men fuck your holes and walk you around on the streets naked on a leash as our cum drips out of you. Afterward, for shits and giggles, I’ll make you lick it off the pavement and show random strangers what a good girl you are by making you display the cum on your tongue.”

I finally find words to respond to his shocking statements. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“You’re right. I wouldn’t make you lick anything off the pavement. That could make you sick. And nothing or no one will harm a hair on your head other than me. But you better believe I would walk you on a leash so everyone knows who you belong to.”

Belong.

Of everything Ezra has done and said to me in the forest, that word sets me off. Because the moment I asked him to take my virginity, I decided never to belong to any man. “You can do anything to me, but the one thing you’ll never do is own me.”

Ezra’s laughter is lascivious before it’s replaced by raw rage. “Oh, sweet Briar. You seem to be under the illusion that you have a choice.”

Ezra’s hands frame my face as he pulls me to him. His thrusts are edged with cruelty, and his eyes appear vacant, void of emotion. I can’t tell what he’s thinking or guess what his next move will be.

The tips of his fingers dig into my head from my temple to my jaw. He pulls out and pushes me to my knees while still holding my head steadfastly. “Grab my cock, Fawn. Open your mouth and stick out your tongue like a good, good girl.”

I keep my mouth shut, refusing to give in to his demands. Ezra wants to control me, and I won’t let another man bend me to his will. His orders establish his dominance over me. “Go to hell.”

His lips turn up, and all the warmth evaporates from his eyes. “Pretty Briar, don’t you know? I’m already there.”

“You don’t have to be,” I whisper.

He doesn’t say a word. He grips his dick, aims the tip at my face, and unleashes all over me. My face is covered in his cum, and it should humiliate me. But I’m stoic and triumphant. My body is bruised and bloody, my knees are imprinted on the forest floor, and my face is covered in the release of a man I chose to be my first. An elated sense of victory envelops me.

Ezra cups my face. The violence my body endured at his hands moments ago is now replaced with tenderness. “You can’t save me, Fawn. The boy you knew was beaten out of me until he perished. He’s dead, Briar, found nowhere in the husk before you now.”

He gazes at me, and for a moment, I think I see tenderness, but it’s short-lived when he pushes me back. I sit naked and marked among the trees, watching his retreating back as he leaves the forest.