17

Blair

Age

I didn’t want to come out here today.

I definitely didn’t want to spend time with Mackenzie. After my accident, she gave me a long explanation about how she had no idea that anything she said would cause me problems, and that she would never want to hurt me.

I don’t really buy it, but I don’t have the energy to end the friendship. I don’t have the energy for anything .

I’m slowly crawling out of the pit of darkness I’ve been trapped in for the last few months. Everything feels harsh and sterile out here, too bright, like fluorescent lighting.

Tonight we’re hanging out by the park, waiting for Mackenzie to track down some party pills that I have no intention of taking.

Josh inches his fingers closer to mine. I quickly snatch my hand away and jump to my feet, stretching as if I just needed to move.

I like Josh, I guess. He’s genuinely nice, which is more than I can say about a lot of boys at school. Most of them fall somewhere on the scale of ‘immature’ to ‘total pervs’.

But even though Josh is nice, he… isn’t Asher. He isn’t dark eyes and adrenaline highs and strong, tattooed arms.

I want to talk to Asher. But I’m scared my parents will find out and call the police on him. I don’t know the extent of what he’s involved in. I know he has a good heart, but I also know he’s capable of crossing the line to the dark side of morality, especially when it comes to helping the few people he loves.

“So, who wants to have some fun tonight?” Mackenzie says, shaking a little bag of white pills above her head.

Abby and Leigh giggle nervously and raise their hands.

“Guess where I got these, Blair?” Mackenzie asks, her grin widening. “From your weirdo druggie friend over there.”

My stomach flips. “What? You mean… Asher?”

I turn and quickly scan the park, but there’s no sign of him.

Mackenzie nods. She is such a gossip. I don’t want anything getting back to my parents through her grapevine.

Dread grips me. “Wait, did he—did he see me?”

Did he see me with Josh?

Mackenzie shrugs. “I don’t know, Blair. Who cares?”

“Did he—did he say anything about me?”

“Not much. He saw you over here, though.” She pouts. “He’s such an asshole, seriously.”

“What do you mean?”

“He said we’re all spoiled brats who use people.”

I feel as if I’ve just been slapped. My breath catches in my throat.

I don’t say much for the rest of the night. There’s only one thing ringing through my head.

Has Asher really given up on me?