27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Tovi

W ind whipped up from the rapids of Drystan’s main river, scant droplets kissing Tovi’s cheeks.

Everyone had agreed the freed werewolves couldn’t track south through the canyon pass alone. Without Tovi and her cursed blood to deter the darkness, they’d draw the attention of demons or nearby scáths, and the Gray Fenris didn’t have the weapons to spare. But with five extra werewolves, they moved slower than before, and food reserves were running low. Tovi hated to delay, but they needed to stick together, and once in Drystan, she could ensure safe passage home for the younger werewolves. But it meant they’d need to sail upriver, and that meant they’d need a ship.

So, they took a risk and headed east instead of north. Aside from a pack of madras they’d dealt with swiftly, and no injuries for Linx to attend to, they’d met no other troubles and delays. By some Goddess-gifted miracle, they’d discovered a slaver ship guarded by only two vampyrs. They’d handled them like they had the madras and were on their way upriver to Drystan. The route dropped them straight into the village—risky, but between Linx’s magik and Tovi’s vampyr blood, they’d at least have time to dock and find a trusted contact before discovery .

Tovi swallowed her hope. It was an untrustworthy emotion. She’d hoped before. For her mother to live. For the survival of her settlement. For those in court to see she wasn’t the party princess anymore. For strength and purpose. Hope had never served her, and she didn’t trust what it granted.

Yet, as the winds of home continued to whip by her, the land seemed to sing at her arrival.

Welcome.

Despite the curse, she loved this land. In all its gray glory, she knew its potential, had witnessed the greenest summers, the crop-filled autumns, and the gentlest winters. Maybe this once she’d allow the hope to kiss her rosy cheeks, let their last few wins fuel her resolve and push onto the next part of getting Evelyn out of Riven’s clutches. Maybe, just maybe, she’d allow herself the belief she was one step closer to ridding her homeland of darkness.

With eyes closed, Tovi inhaled the scent of snow and wet rock, willing herself to hope when she sensed a certain presence, an alpha’s energy close by.

Behind her, Eldrick descended the steps of the ship’s bridge. Shadowed by the single sail, Linx and Todd manned the steering. The others had retired below deck. Poor Kade had been green before they left the river’s edge, muttering how he fucking hated boats.

The eldest Drengr brother fared better. He headed in her direction with a determined stride. Shoulders back, jaw tight. The ship’s rocking didn’t affect the alpha’s approach.

Tovi’s defenses immediately snapped straighter, her grip on the ship’s railing tightening. They hadn’t spoken since he’d accused her of running off, forcing her to admit she’d gone to feed. The others hadn’t seem to care, talking, joking, sharing their reserves with her, but Eldrick’s avoidance and fleeting glances had been worse than the hundreds at court.

He was her biggest opponent, the largest obstacle in gaining an alliance with the werewolves. At every turn, he challenged her intentions, her secrets . Goddess knew she had them, harbored them like a dragon coveted gems, but they didn’t mean her efforts weren’t genuine. Effort and will thrummed through her veins.

And yet, she had to convince Eldrick of that.

The werewolf riled her, and she hated her lack of composure, hated that she’d had to reveal her thirst for blood so openly when she hadn’t been ready. It felt like there was no avoiding, no hiding what she was anymore. Blood and vampyrs went hand in hand. She doubted he’d see past it now.

Tension formed in Tovi’s shoulders, but she stood her ground. “Bored enough you’d talk with a bloodsucker and liar?”

Eldrick, to her surprise, winced. He gripped the back of his neck, eyes darting to the ship’s wooden boards.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.”

Tovi stilled. “Discuss what exactly?”

Eldrick released his neck and ran his hand through his hair instead, those stubborn tousled strands falling over his forehead. He dropped his arms to his side, both hanging lowly as he sighed.

“The things I said the other day, I wasn’t being fair.”

“Oh.” Tovi’s one-word response mimicked the shape of her open mouth.

“I’m sorry.” Eldrick rushed the words, but he meant them. “I know you’re trying to get Evelyn back.”

“Thank you…” Tovi blinked, trying to process what he’d said. “Where is this coming from?”

Eldrick scratched his chin. “Aside from the fact I have been unfair, Kade reminded me we need to be a team.”

“That’s true.”

He shook his head. “But it isn’t that. You saved me from the demon, and you’ve gotten us this far. What would you say about starting over? A fresh start?”

For a beat, the two stared at each other, shades of green clashing as the river roared under them and the gray sprawled above them. Eldrick’s proposition hung in the air. Tovi wasn’t sure which she trusted least—the makeshift truce or her eagerness to grab hold of it. In the end, it didn’t matter. His truce was one step closer to securing an alliance, one step closer to defeating Riven. She needed the werewolves, so she needed Eldrick.

“Alright, as long as you swear to stop calling me bloodsucker .”

“I swear it,” Eldrick said. “You’ve stood with us every part of the journey, and I know killing your own kind wasn’t easy. I saw it in your eyes.”

“It wasn’t,” Tovi whispered, days-old pain resurfacing. Cruelty, hate, anger… None of those things were her people. It was the darkness. A parasite changing her people, corroding them from the inside out. When she’d killed that soldier, she’d seen the briefest flash of who they used to be, until the black spread through their eyes. Yet, she didn’t tell that to Eldrick, her people’s secrets whispering for her not to.

Instead, she said, “I saw the blood lost in their eyes, the shift to a caillte . It was only a matter of time before they fell completely into darkness.”

Eldrick stepped closer to her. He morphed into her orbit, his spearmint scent overtaking the salt and dew of the river. “Perhaps death was mercy.”

Mercy? Tovi only felt she’d been too late. Too late to save her people.

“Perhaps. But I wish for my people… wish more were on my side. Goddess knows I pray my brother will have a change of heart before it’s too late.”

She missed Riven. The old Riven. They’d been friends and siblings years ago, sharing chats over the fire as Riven showed her his latest sketches. She’d told him her latest endeavors out in the wild, awe in his eyes. Despite his rigid exterior, Riven possessed a gentleness like no other. Years of torment and heartache, one she certainly caused, had hardened him into an impenetrable stone.

“What happened between you and your brother?” Eldrick asked.

Tovi blinked away her fond memories while a terrible one remained. Could she tell Eldrick? Her heart pulled and tugged, egging her on. When years blurred as quickly as months, memories flashed in fleeting visions. Some remained like wine stains in cloth. No matter the number of times one scrubbed, the faintest red remained. This particular memory was one of the stains, except it marked her heart. She swallowed, fighting the urge to tell him. They’d finally reached a truce, common ground. Did she dare break it by revealing the worst part of herself?

Their gazes connected, and Tovi let out a shuttering breath. Secrets whispered and cooed in her mind, reminding her this was a wicked idea, but for once, Eldrick’s face was void of judgment, almost welcoming. She managed to take a deep breath, breaking their eye contact and facing the forest lining the river. She’d tell him, she decided, but couldn’t bear to watch the emotions in his eyes while she did.

“Years ago, I was…”—Tovi searched for the right word—“different. As king and queen, my parents’ power came hand in hand with greed. They were status-obsessed monarchs. It influenced how they viewed me, what I was to them, no longer who . A bargaining chip, an alliance, a breeding mare to be used in some transactional deal with the highest bidder.”

Eldrick stiffened, but he said nothing.

Tovi inhaled. “And I grew angrier with each passing year, frustrated they’d forgotten what I was capable of, what I’d done for our family and our kingdom. I—” Tovi paused, unable to convey what she’d done with words. She’d hunted. Fed them. Protected them. Released the arrows that killed their worst enemies. Her hands still ached from jagged stone jutting into her muddy hands as she built the Drystan castle. All of her efforts forgotten in what felt like a blink of time to her parents.

She chanced a peek at Eldrick’s reaction. He remained thoughtful, jaw tight but eyes softer than usual, like grass covered in dew.

“In my anger, I rebelled. I drank. I partied. I fucked anyone I fancied. If my parents presented a suitor, I made sure they ran in the opposite direction by the end of the night. Eventually, I became the partying princess Drystan court detested. The only one who saw me for what I’d used to be was Riven. He supported me when I turned down suitors and tried to keep my parents’ efforts to marry me off at bay. Goddess, he often paid interested males to fuck off with a handsome sum, but…”

Tovi sighed, her next part of the story raging to be let out.

“Riven listened to my parents. He was the ‘obedient son,’ the one that led by example. When my parents made a match, he embraced it. Iona was a sweet, tender-hearted human from a distant land. She didn’t belong in Drystan, but she and Riven fell deeply in love. After two years of marriage, he turned her into a vampyr, their marriage intertwined with eternity. Not soon after, Oliver, their son, was born. He too was a sweet, tender boy. So much of his mother and father were in him.

“One night, Riven asked me to escort Iona and Oliver to dinner. Again, Iona was sweet, timid. She truly didn’t belong in vampyr court, she simply belonged with Riven. She didn’t trust others, only Riven and I, but I was angry that day, so bloody angry. Everyone else had been invited to a royal hunt while I was left behind. ‘Hunting is no place for a princess,’ my mother had said. So, I ignored Riven’s request. Partied all hours of the day, and when the time came to retrieve his wife and child, I didn’t. I left them.”

Tovi blinked away sorrow, ancient sadness that wrapped around her bones like chains. She’d lost count of the wine bottles she drank, how many men she’d dragged to her bed. Tannins, flesh, laughter, blood. It was all a blur of red and softness. Of lust and euphoria. An endless chase to fill a hole her parents and others had carved into her heart.

Tovi swallowed, tears stinging at the edge of her eyes. “It was the same day Drystan was cast into darkness. None of us understood what was happening. Court was in utter chaos. The sun still hung in the sky and the endless gray hadn’t yet blanketed the land. Iona had been passing time in the gardens with Oli, their favorite place, waiting for me. But I never went to get them and…” Tovi blinked back tears and damning words she wasn’t ready to utter. “When the rays touched them, they… died instantly. Because I’d been selfish, cruel, and horrible. ”

Eldrick, unlike she predicted, didn’t step away. In fact, he stepped closer and laid a hand over hers that held the railing of the ship. Such a warm touch, like the spring sun on a late afternoon, ridding the lingering winter chill.

Tovi took a shuddering breath. “Riven’s never forgiven me. He lost who he loved most that day, his wife and child.”

“He blames you for their deaths…” Eldrick trailed off.

“Rightfully. We didn’t even know, initially, that the sun could kill us. It all happened so fast, not to mention so many vampyrs turned to caillte immediately. It was madness that day, and by the time I even started looking for them, it was too late. If I had gone and retrieved them, brought them inside. If I hadn’t been so selfish, they’d be alive. They died because of me. Oliver would be well over five hundred years old. I’d give anything to see the man he would’ve become. The world needs kindness like he and Iona had, and yet I’d robbed the world of it, because of one single mistake.”

The wind twisted Tovi’s hair, and a tear skidded across her cheek. A strong yet gentle touch caught it before it fell, and Tovi and Eldrick’s green gazes locked as he brushed her sadness away.

He neither agreed nor objected to her ridiculing assessment of herself. Yet, neither his silence nor his stare possessed putrid judgment. He appraised her, eyes soaking her in, and those eyes held a sense of simply seeing her. That was all. A constant in the chaos, Eldrick kept her steady. Tovi’s past didn’t feel any less wrong or wretched, but to have spoken it out loud, to be seen , felt liberating.

And yet, she didn’t trust the moment in the slightest. Too many letdowns and years of judgmental eyes still crept up her spine. Not long ago, Eldrick had judged her as well. Her instinct screamed this moment of seeing, of understanding, was a fluke. He was a werewolf, after all, and she’d revealed she'd been selfish, only thinking of herself, perhaps like he believed her kind to be.

“So,” she whispered, “are we back to square one of you not trusting me? ”

Eldrick scoffed, the left side of his lip hitching into a smirk. “No. Perhaps I misjudged your secrets to be dangerous, and yet they are parts of your past. We all have them.”

“Have what?” she asked.

“Pasts.” He sighed. “Even though I am much younger than you, I also have a past with mistakes I regret.”

Tovi stilled, her heart skipping. Mistakes. She didn’t indicate she understood what he referred to even though she knew—

“What do you mean much younger?” A laugh bubbled through her words, half forced, half genuine. “Are you implying I am old, wolf?”

Eldrick laughed, too, oblivious she’d changed the subject, evaded the awkwardness of one secret she wasn’t ready to tell— couldn’t tell, because it wasn’t hers to share.

She’d promised.

“You are centuries old, am I right?” Eldrick asked.

“I am.” She leaned in closer. “And with age comes wisdom.”

Eldrick hummed. “True, fine wine also gets better with age.”

Tovi smiled so wide her cheeks hurt. “You’re quite right.”

He searched the deck. “Linx and Todd found stores of wine barrels at the bottom of the ship. Should we give them a go?”

Tovi’s heart raced, skipped, and almost burst from her chest. Why were her insides fluttering? Her past and secrets kept surging to the forefront of her mind, and yet, moments ago, Eldrick had listened. She’d admitted the worst part of her, the decision she regretted the most, and yet he’d stayed with her at the front of the ship, beside her.

He hadn’t run, hadn’t judged, and though fear still lingered, she wanted, needed to dive into the newness, this constant with him, despite everything screaming at her to not. Something she couldn’t explain—or perhaps didn’t want to face yet—pulled her towards him. It had been there since they met at the Shield-maiden, present even when he held a blade to her throat, and now, she gave into it.

Like the ship piercing into the river’s rapids, she dove.

“Alright,” she said, “but for one glass only.”