CHAPTER THREE

I lowered myself to the edge of my desk before my knees gave out. My face was hot, and blood was pounding in my ears. For a few moments, my body warred between trying to decide whether I should faint, throw up, have a heart attack, or drop down to the floor and cry.

How had things spun out of control so quickly and turned out so spectacularly bad? Staggering around my desk, I went over to my chair and dropped into it. I sobbed once and covered my face with my hands.

There was a part of me, the detached, clinical part, that told me to pull myself together. I'm at work, anyone could walk by my office and see me.

The other part of me didn't give a rat's ass...because trying to hold everything in right now would surely make me ill. Eventually though, I forced myself to sit up straight. Wiping my eyes, I tried to pull myself together.

Without plan, my bleary gaze landed on the soothing waters of the lane pool. The water beckoned to me, offering solace and much-needed comfort. Shoving up to my feet I stepped out of my crocs. Silently, I tugged my leggings down and unzipped my jacket, revealing the royal blue one-piece suit I wore beneath. Tossing the outerwear towards my desk, I stalked to the door and moved across the pool deck.

Taking a deep breath, I headed straight for the starting blocks. Ignoring my swimmer's cap and goggles, I climbed up on the first block and dove right in. Pushing myself to a punishing pace, I swam four laps freestyle.

Finally, I came to the end of the lane, slapped the wall and stopped. Alone for the moment, I leaned my head against the side of the pool and tried to slow my breathing down. The brutal swim had helped me clear my head; and it kept me from spiraling into a full-blown anxiety attack.

Checking the clock on the wall, I saw that I still had plenty of time before the children's swimming class. Pushing off from the side of the pool, I began my cool down laps. Falling back on my training, I focused only on my breathing and my strokes.

Afterwards I hit the showers. I tugged on a fresh swimsuit, pulled my hair up and put on my competitor's face. Checking my reflection, I saw that Ice Cold Cordelia was back…at least temporarily. Which was good, as the last thing I wanted was for my assistants, instructors, or the parents to see me and know that I was upset or had been crying. It would hardly encourage confidence in me as a coach.

That evening, I greeted all of my pupils and their parents at the smaller pool with a professional smile, determined to make their swim lesson fun and educational. My fa?ade slipped a bit when Ryder Desroches, Angela's husband, strolled onto the pool deck with his arm around the shoulders of a thin boy with dark curly hair who couldn't have been more than seven years old.

I'd known Ryder for a few years, longer than I'd known Angela in fact. He volunteered his time with the community center—the building adjacent to ours. Ryder coached little league football, and he also sponsored a girls' competitive tumbling team. He was a good man, very involved in the community center and an excellent coach.

"Hi Cordelia," Ryder greeted me with a smile.

"Hey, Ryder," I said. "Who's your friend?"

"This is James Renard. He's a friend of mine from the community center and he wants to learn how to swim. Maybe race some day."

I stuck my hand out to the boy. "Hi James. I'm Cordelia."

The boy took my hand and peered owlishly up at me. "Ryder says you swam at the Olympics."

"Sure did," I said.

"Did you win any medals?" he wanted to know.

"A couple," I told him.

"Wow!" James sounded desperately impressed. "I can swim. Kinda," he told me next. "But I'm not very good at it. I don't know the..." He trailed off and did the arm motion for the freestyle.

"The strokes?" I asked.

"Yeah," James said. "I know one is called a butterfly, and a back stripe."

"Backstroke." I grinned. "I can help you with that," I promised him. "What do you say we get you a pair of goggles and we'll get started?"

"Okay!" James flashed me a gap-toothed smile and went to the benches to take off his shoes.

Ryder stepped a tad closer. "James' older brother, John, is in my football program. I found out that over the summer James rescued his three-year-old sister from the neighbor's pool, but damn near drowned himself."

My gaze fell on the brave boy as he stood wearing swim trunks and a T-shirt. He was smiling at the other kids, but his eyes were all for the water in the pool. I understood that obsession—and the longing.

"His family can't afford swim lessons, so I pulled some strings, and the community center gifted them to James."

"That's wonderful," I said to Ryder. "I tell you what, I'll donate lessons to his little sister as well. The aquatic center also offers a Saturday swim class designed for preschoolers."

Ryder flashed a big smile. "The Renard family will love that."

"It's the least I can do." I patted his arm. "Why don't you take a seat with the parents, and we'll get started."

We all stayed in the shallow end. The students were divided into groups of three—depending on their skill level—and James ended up in my group.

The first group was graduating from dunking their faces in the water to holding their breath and going under for the first time. Eva, one of the lifeguards and swim instructors from the center, was in charge of the second group. Her group was using blue foam kickboards and learning to paddle up and down the shallow end of the pool. The third group—my group—was starting to learn how to put the kicks and the strokes of the freestyle all together.

By the end of the lesson, I had James swimming in a loose freestyle while I kept my hand under his belly. His head was still above the water, but I estimated in a few weeks he'd be able to manage putting his face down in the water and turning it to take a breath. In fact, as I worked with him, I got a sudden vision of James as a teenager competing in the future.

Before you know it, little man, I thought as he kicked and splashed his way across the pool, you'll be racing across the water and loving every minute of it.

Out of my peripheral I saw Ryder taking pictures of James with his cell phone, and I gave him a thumbs up.

Once the lesson was concluded, the parents and children began to make their way to the exit. I stayed behind to gather up the kickboards and any stray items left behind. Spotting a bright yellow rain jacket, I made a mental note to drop it in the lost and found box. My other instructors were leaving too, and I paused when I heard my name being called.

"Hey, Cordelia." Ryder smiled and walked over towards me.

"Hey." I nodded in return.

"James' dad has picked him up," he explained. "So I thought I'd wait with you and walk you out."

I adjusted the towel that was around my shoulders and sent him a long look. "Did Angela put you up to this?"

Ryder shrugged his massive shoulders. "Maybe."

I simply raised my eyebrows at him.

"Don't be mad," he said. "She told me about the troubles you've been having. Since I'm here I might as well make myself useful and walk you to your car."

"Fine." I pulled the swimming cap off my head with a sigh. "You can wait by the lap pool. I'll go get my things and lock up my office. Oh, and I'll grab the paperwork for the preschool swim class for James' sister."

"Sounds like a plan." Ryder walked over to one of the starting blocks and perched on it. "Take your time. I'm in no rush."

There was no point in being angry with Ryder, I reminded myself. He was simply being a friend. After drying off, I slipped back on my leggings and zipped up my jacket. I hung up my cap and goggles on hooks in my office and gathered up the paperwork for the preschool swim class. Hauling my swim bag with me, I switched off the lights and shut my office door.

I'd taken maybe two steps across the pool deck, when the overhead lights suddenly went off, plunging the aquatic center into darkness.

"What the hell?" I said, frowning when the emergency lights did not kick on. The exit lights over the doors were out as well.

"Cordelia?" Ryder called.

"Stay where you are," I told him. "Don't go walking around, Ryder. You could trip and fall."

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled. "Are the lights on a timer or something?"

"No," I said. "They're not."

Across the pool deck I saw the illumination from Ryder's cell phone, even as I was reaching in my jacket pocket for my own. I tapped on the screen and pulled up the flashlight app. Quickly, I shined the light to my feet and began to make my way over to where he was waiting.

There was a loud thud and then a clattering sound. I glanced up in time to see his lit cell phone fall to the ground.

"Ryder?" I called out to him, but there was no answer.

A heartbeat later, a loud splash sounded.

I heard quick footsteps and realized that someone was coming straight at me. I couldn't see the other person, but with a flash of insight, I realized they were able to spot my position from my illuminated phone.

Terrified, I chucked my phone to one side and instinctively threw myself down to the floor in the opposite direction. Something went whistling by, and I felt the air being displaced from above—right where my head had been.

I landed hard on my side on the pool deck and my crocs went flying off my feet. The person ran past me and kept going, heading for the far side of the center. I scrambled to my hands and knees as I heard them hit the door. They were briefly illuminated by the lights that had remained on out in the main hallway; but all I could make out was someone tall. I couldn't tell if they were male or female.

"Ryder?" I called out to him again and crawled forward until I felt the edge of the pool. It was then that the emergency lights around the pool deck suddenly popped back on.

I blinked and discovered that Ryder was about halfway to the bottom of the pool, and there was a large cloud of red all around his blonde head. Surging to my feet, I dove right in the water.

I couldn't risk magick in a public place...but I could get him out of the water on my own.

Going deep, I swam down until I was underneath him. Pushing off with my feet from the pool bottom, I hooked my hands under his armpits and dragged him toward the surface. Once I broke the water, I began to tow him back toward the side of the pool. Using breaststroke kicks, I kept his head above the surface and let his body float out and in front of me.

After I reached the edge of the water, I started to yell for help. Turning Ryder to face the side of the pool, I placed one of his hands up and on the deck. Putting my hand over his, I pressed down to keep him in place and levered myself from the water. Now that I was out, I took his other wrist and pushed forward a bit, actually letting his head go back under. Bracing my foot on the edge of the pool, I yanked on his arms hard, and hauled him out almost to his waist

His weightlessness from the water had given me much needed leverage. Leaving him bent face down over the pool deck, I quickly grabbed his legs and pulled him the rest of the way out.

Before I had managed to roll him on his back, Marcus, the custodian, and one of the swim instructors, Eva, were there helping me.

"What happened?" Marcus demanded. "Did he fall in?"

"The lights went out," I began. "He was under when they came back on."

"For how long?" Eva demanded. Rolling him over, she checked Ryder for signs of life.

"A minute, maybe?" I guessed.

"He's not breathing." Eva swore and immediately began chest compressions.

"I'm calling 911," Marcus said and pulled out his cell phone.

***

I sat in the emergency waiting room with Ryder's brother Gerard, Angela's older sisters Arianna and Amanda, and their husbands, Rafe Tremaine and Zak Parker. Someone had given me a blanket, and I huddled there wearing soggy clothes and waited with Ryder's family.

The good news was that Ryder had come around quickly after I'd pulled him from the lap pool. Thank the old gods for Eva and her lifeguard training. She had known exactly what to do. Still, Ryder had thrown up a lot of water, and his head had been bleeding pretty badly when the ambulance had arrived.

Injured or not, Ryder had insisted that I ride along with him in the ambulance. I figured that he was either still trying to keep an eye on me…or that he simply wanted the company. Turns out he had an aversion to doctors and hospitals. So, I didn't argue and went and sat in the front seat of the ambulance and rode along. It was the least I could do.

The Alton police had already been in to speak to me. They had spoken to me briefly at the pool when the emergency services first arrived, and then again in a more formal interview after we had made it to the hospital.

I was extremely grateful that the questioning police officer hadn't been Detective Williams, although I knew he would eventually be informed, as would Austin.

Thank the gods for small favors, I thought, eyeballing the uniformed officers that stood across the waiting room.

Because if Brynn's boyfriend had been there to question me, he would have immediately notified Brynn. And she would have called my other sisters, and my cousins, and my aunt... and goddess help me, Grandma Althea.

My entire family would go absolutely ballistic as soon as they learned what had happened at the aquatic center to Ryder. Rubbing my stomach that had tightened painfully, I cringed, imagining the fuss they would make…

Which is why I hadn't told any of them yet.

After all I was fine. And they all didn't need to know right that moment. So I was delaying the inevitable for as long as possible. I already felt bad enough about what had happened to Ryder.

Across the room one of the officers was speaking into his cell phone. I sighed and wondered how long it would be before the delightful Detective Williams did show up to ask me more rude questions. Tim wouldn't be there to shield me, or to stand up for me as my boyfriend this time. In fact, I wondered if I'd ever see him again. As he now believed me guilty of magickal manipulation of the worst sort...

Thinking about what Tim had said to me earlier made my stomach churn even harder with a combination of remorse, misery, and shame. Everything from the past few days kept replaying in my mind. Which was tearing me up and making me extremely nervous.

Yet, I couldn't seem to stop the dark repetitive thoughts. They circled around and around, tormenting me. It was horrible to realize that I should have been more careful. I should have taken those letters and the threat to my safety more seriously.

But I'd purposefully blocked it all out.

Why? Because it hurt too much to imagine someone hating me to that extent. Austin had warned me, Detective Williams had too, and Tim had been after me for weeks about it all. But I hadn't listened, and now things had taken a much darker turn.

My stalker had come after me tonight...but instead of getting to me, someone else had been hurt.

But why Ryder? I wondered for the thousandth time. Was this all a right place, wrong time scenario? I asked myself. Could it have been his blonde hair?

Pulling the damp blanket tighter to my shoulders, I considered that while we continued to wait for an update on his condition.

Ryder and I did both have long, light blonde hair. While I was tall, at five foot ten, in no way did I have Ryder's big brawny build. And although it had been very dark, I honestly didn't think him being mistaken for me had been the reason he'd been hit and pushed into the pool.

More likely they had simply gone after him first, to take him out of the way. Thus making it that much easier to get to me.

After Ryder had regained consciousness, Eva had assumed that he'd simply fallen in the dark, hit his head on the side of the pool, and knocked himself out. But the wound was to the back of his head, and as soon as I saw it, I knew.

Someone had bashed him with something, and it had been heavy enough to take the big man out of the way. It was probably the same thing that had been swung at me. So, I'd made sure to tell the responding officers everything, so they could investigate this properly as an attack and not as an accident.

It hadn't taken them long either. Before they had loaded Ryder up in the ambulance, the police had found the weapon. A large pipe wrench still covered in Ryder's blood and sporting a few strands of his long blonde hair. It had been recovered right outside of an exit of the aquatic center.

There could be no denying now that it had been a deliberate act. The aquatic center would be closed for days while the police swept it for more evidence. Whoever had done this intended harm, if not murder. It was a sobering fact, and I could no longer deny how dangerous this person had become.

The realization of how serious this situation was had me pressing a hand to my lips as I struggled not to throw up. All of my psychic shields were shredded; I could no longer block out emotion from those sitting around me. My anxiety was severe, the guilt was suffocating, and the concern and fear I could feel radiating off Angela and Ryder's family was pure torture.

Still, I deserved to feel every bit of their pain. Because this was all my fault.

The depressing vibes of the hospital waiting room were weighing down on me as well, and I considered stepping outside for a few moments if only to get some relief. Then I glanced over at Angela's sisters, and one look at their concerned faces had me staying put. The least I could do was to wait with them.

It seemed like forever before Angela walked into the waiting room with an update.

Shrugging off the blanket, I jumped to my feet. "How is he?" I asked her, while everyone else around me asked the same.

Angela smiled. "He's going to be okay. He got some stitches in the back of his head, and between the near-drowning and the concussion, the doctor wants to keep him overnight for observation."

Gerard reached for Angela's hand. "Knowing my brother as I do, I bet that news went over well."

Angela smiled in agreement and rolled her eyes. "He's back there complaining about everyone making a fuss, insisting he's fine and is good to go home."

While Angela's sisters gathered around her for hugs and support, I eased back farther away from her family. As soon as I was clear I walked to the nearest exit. I made it outside with no one being the wiser and hurried down the sidewalk.

Now that I was outdoors, I could breathe again. There weren't so many emotions crushing down on me. Pulling in a second deep breath, I tried to figure out what to do next. It was then I realized that my swim bag was still at the aquatic center. I didn't have my phone, or any money on me. I also had no way home.

"Damn it," I muttered, and then almost jumped out of my crocs when a hand dropped lightly on my shoulder.

"Where do you think you're going?" Rafe Tremaine, Arianna's husband, asked.

"Rafe." My breath exploded out. "You startled me."

"You shouldn't be out here alone," he said.

"It's probably best if I leave."

The side of Rafe's mouth kicked up in a crooked smile. "You gonna swim home mermaid, or do you have a car stashed here at the hospital?"

"I was going to call a cab," I said lamely.

"How ‘bout I give you a ride home in my truck instead," Rafe offered gently.

From behind Rafe, I watched Arianna walk up to join her husband. "We'd be happy to give you a ride, Cordelia."

She smiled, and I had a moment to think I'd never seen a woman as beautiful as Arianna Beaumont-Tremaine. I estimated her as being about six months pregnant, and she seemed to be glowing with it.

"I'd get your truck seat all wet," I said, searching for a polite excuse.

Arianna slipped an arm around my shoulder. "It'll be fine. Come with us."

"That's okay." I ducked away from her touch. "Maybe you two should stay with your family."

"The family wanted to make sure you were all right," Arianna said patiently. "Especially Angela. She said Ryder was asking about you."

I cringed. "They both must hate me."

"No." Arianna's voice was calm. "Why would you think that?"

"Because this is my fault," I said.

"Bullshit," Rafe said firmly.

"Would you like me to call Tim for you?" Arianna asked next.

"No!" I practically shouted, and then checked myself. "Don't call Tim. He broke up with me and—"

Rafe's eyebrows lowered. "Maybe we should call her sisters," he said to Arianna.

"Oh gods." I tossed up my hands in a combination of aggravation and dread. " Please don't call them either. I'm not in any shape for the three of them to start in on me. I truly need some space from all their concern."

Arianna gently touched my arm. "You're an empath, right?"

I nodded. "I am."

Immediately she withdrew her hand. "So, you're on psychic overwhelm at the moment." Arianna's deep blue eyes searched mine. "Too much adrenaline, and you're hurting over the breakup. I bet you've also had way too much exposure to the emotions and pain of everyone at the hospital."

I felt myself begin to shake. "Yes," I told her. "Yes, to it all."

"That settles it," Arianna said. "You're coming back to Ames Crossing with me and Rafe."

I opened my mouth to argue.

"I insist," she said firmly. "You can stay in our guest room."

"It might not be safe for your family," I admitted. "Especially with you expecting. Someone has been sending me threatening letters and—"

"We know," Rafe said, cutting me off. "But they'll never think to look for you at our house."

"That's very kind of you—"

"Look, Blondie," Rafe began again, "you can either come along with us or I can drop your happy ass off at the police station. I bet they'd love another interview with you. Probably take hours. You'd be there all night."

"Rafe!" Arianna sounded horrified.

"There's always protective custody," Rafe said, rubbing at his chin as if thinking it over. The man was as tough as nails, and I had no doubt he'd do as he threatened.

"Well..." I said, changing my mind. "When you put it that way."

He took my arm firmly in his. "Let's go then."

"Rafe," Arianna began, "being touched right now might make Cordelia feel overwhelmed on a psychic level, or even ill."

Rafe stopped and looked me dead in the eye. "Does it?"

I tilted my head to one side and considered the attractive and rangy man who stood beside me. He was wearing old jeans, a T-shirt, and work boots. His dark blonde hair was brushed back from his face and held in place by a backward ball cap. With his arm in mine, I could readily get a sense of the man he was: there was strength, an intense love for his family, and a genuine wish to help and to give me someplace safe to stay for the night.

Rafe Tremaine was confident enough and strong enough that his emotions didn't push at me. They were simply there.

"You are a good man," I said. "Your touch doesn't bother me at all."

With a nod at my words, he then reached out and hooked his wife's arm with his free one. "Let's go then." He gave me a firm tug and guided us both across the parking lot.

Arianna snickered. "You have such style, Rafe."

He pressed a kiss to his wife's cheek. "It got me you, didn't it?"