Chapter 1

"By this time tomorrow, ye will be someone else's problem," Madden Kinnaird teased his best friend, Keelin Macrae, as she stuffed yet another bannock into her mouth, washing it down with large gulps of ale. She was drawing quite a few stares from the other men in the room, some of judgmental disgust, others of interest. Keelin was a beautiful young woman, but she was not what one might call a lady of delicate sensibilities. "Ye eat like one of the animals in the stable." He laughed as she kicked him under the table.

"Ye will miss me and ye ken it all tae well," she retorted, wiping her mouth with a cloth.

They had stopped at an inn for the night to allow the horses to rest and to eat on their way to visit Keelin's cousin, the Laird Arran MacKay. Keelin had been at Castle Rósmire for the last several months assisting her sister, Edith, with her newborn infant son Teigue. Madden worked as a warrior and advisor for Edith's husband, the Laird Braden Hamilton, and had been entrusted with Keelin's care as she returned home to the rest of her family. Along the way, she had requested to visit her cousin Arran. Madden, unable to refuse her anything, had acquiesced.

"Aye, I will at that," he admitted. His eye was caught by a passing barmaid with an ample bosom and hips that were made for grabbing ahold of. He turned his head, watching her walk away.

"Ye only wish tae be rid o' me so that ye can go about chasing after loose skirts," Keelin called him out on his well-known womanizing behavior. "It has nothing tae dae with me table manners, or lack thereof."

Madden turned his attention back to Keelin. "I cannae rightly be chasing after the lassies when I have ye in tow, now can I? Women tend nae tae want tae kiss me when ye are sitting there giving them yer judgmental glare."

Keelin laughed. "Good. Perhaps it will keep ye alive longer. Many a wandering cockerel has met his conclusion at the end of a blade."

Madden shook his head. "I dinnae have me way with married women. Ye ken that."

"Husbands are nae the only ways that ye could die if ye are letting yer tauger rule yer choices," she pointed out, raising her brow in judgement. "Ye would nae be near as braw a lad with the pox."

"Kee!" Madden chastised. "If yer faither and maither heard ye speak with such language, they would have both of our heads."

Keelin shook her head. "Me family ken how I am well enough. They ken how ye are as well." She cocked her head to the side studying his face for a moment. "I ken ye are nae as ye were afore ye left fer France. Many a time Braden has said ye are slower tae anger now and more prone tae thinking things through. Ye have changed."

Madden knew she was right. He nodded in agreement, accepting the compliment. "For the better, I hope," he murmured, thinking back to all of the pain that had been the catalyst for the changes that he had made.

"Aye fer the most part, ye are better. Yer distrust of any woman that is nae as a sister tae ye, however, is going tae cause ye more trouble than nae," she warned.

Madden shrugged. "I would give up women altogether, but alas I am nae a monk. A man has his needs."

Keelin snorted. "Nae, ye are nae a monk tae be certain. Nae a man or woman alive would ever mistake ye fer one." She gave him a sympathetic look. She did not know everything that had happened in France or why he felt the way that he did about the feminine sex, but she knew that it had to have been something terrible to alter him as it had. "I dinnae expect ye tae be a monk. I simply urge caution when choosing a bed mate."

Madden nodded. "I have heard ye, Kee, and I thank ye fer the caring o' me immortal soul."

Keelin laughed. "I dinnae ken about yer soul, but I would rather have ye among the living as nae. Pox-riddled in a grave is nae a good look fer any man, even one as bonnie as ye."

Madden made a face. Not wanting to think about France, women, or the pox, he attempted to change the subject. "What about ye? I saw how ye were with the guards at the castle."

Keelin shook her head, a mischievous light in her eyes. "There is nothing tae ken. Me virtue is intact. I have done nothing tae compromise meself."

"Keep it that way," Madden advised, giving her a look of warning. "Ye dinnae want tae be forced tae live yer life with a man that is undeserving o' ye."

Keelin cocked her head to the side, her brow raised in question. "And what of ye? The same fate could await ye. Dae ye nae fear getting a woman with child and being forced tae wed her at the point of a blade?"

Madden shook his head. "I will nae wed."

Keelin frowned at him in concern. "Ye would nae leave a lass tae be dishonored. I ken ye better than that."

Madden shook his head. "Nae, I would nae abandon her or the child. I would care fer the bairn, but I would nae wed the lass. I would arrange fer her tae wed another more suitable husband and pay the dowry and the bride price." He knew that it made him sound heartless, but the exact opposite was true. He would not saddle any lass with a loveless marriage. His parents had truly loved one another, and he had sworn to his mother on her death bed that he would not wed for anything less than the truest of loves. As he no longer believed that such a thing was possible for him, he had resolved himself to never marry.

Keelin's brow wrinkled in concern. She held his eyes in sympathy. "Ye have changed. What happened in France, Madden? Why dae ye never speak about it?"

Madden had known that this conversation was coming. Both Braden and Keelin had been asking a great many questions about his time in France in the year since his return. Neither of them, despite being his dearest friends in all of the world, knew the fullness of his story and it bothered them. He could see the concern in their eyes every time that they asked him about it. He knew that they wanted to help him, to ease the grief of his mother's passing, but in truth there was nothing that either of them could do.

When his mother had fallen ill, Madden had taken her to a physician in France who was believed to be a miracle worker. While there, he had fallen in love with his mother's nurse. They had shared a bed together, spoken of a future together. He had planned to wed her, but then had discovered that she was wed to another already and that she had been using him to make her husband jealous. She had shared his bed to get revenge for her husband having been unfaithful to her. Shortly thereafter, Madden's mother had died. Madden had taken his sorrow and heartbreak out on the enemies of France, working as a mercenary until a near death experience had made him see the light and pushed him to return home.

"Me maither died," Madden snapped, not wanting to talk about it further. He knew that his voice was harsher than was necessary, but every time that the subject was broached it felt as if he was drowning in the pain all over again. He had worked hard within himself to move on from it as best as he could. He did not appreciate being forced to feel it all again. "What more dae ye want?"

"Madden," Keelin said his name, her tone was firm but compassionate. "I ken that yer maither died, but the distrust that ye are carrying around with ye was nae caused by yer maither."

Madden shook his head. "Nae, it is nae. She was a good woman, and I will nae have anyone believe otherwise by me actions or have her memory dishonored."

Keelin nodded knowingly. "Ye are going tae have tae tell me what happened at some point. Ye cannae live yer life with such pain inside of ye and nae once speak of it tae anyone. It will eat ye alive from the inside."

Madden sighed. "I am sorry, Kee. I didnae mean tae be rude. I dinnae care tae speak of it."

"Was there a woman in France? Someone who hurt ye? Someone who was unfaithful?"

Madden looked up at Keelin in surprise. "How did ye ken such a thing?"

She gave him a knowing look. "The distrust that ye brought back with ye could only be born of such a thing."

Madden looked at Keelin with new admiration. "Ye are wiser than ye look."

"I will take that as a compliment," she retorted, giving him a warning look not to argue with her if he had meant it in any other way.

"Ye should," he nodded, smiling.

"Tell me what happened in France," Keelin requested, her tone leaving no doubt that she felt it was long past time. "Tell me what happened with this woman."

Madden sighed but nodded in surrender. He owed her the truth. It was not kind of him to let her fret and worry. "As ye well ken, when me mother was ill, I took her tae see a physician in France," he began.

"Aye," Keelin nodded in confirmation.

"While we were there, I formed an attachment tae her nurse."

"An attachment?" Keelin eyed him inquisitively.

"I fell in love with her," Madden admitted grudgingly.

Keelin nodded. "So, what happened?"

Madden shrugged his shoulders. "She was married."

Keelin's brows arched in censure. "Ye did nae ken?"

"Nae, I did nae ken that she was another man's wife." He would have been insulted had it been anyone else but Keelin that had asked. "In fairness, I did nae ask. I simply assumed that when she crawled in tae me bed that she was free tae dae so."

Keelin gave him a sympathetic look. "Did ye wish tae wed her yerself?"

Madden nodded. "Aye, I did. That is how I discovered that she was wed tae another. Soon thereafter me maither died. I was destroyed and was nae good fer anything but fighting and drinking and whoring me way through France."

Keelin nodded in understanding. "That is why it took ye so long tae return."

Madden nodded, sighing. "Aye, I could nae come back tae me life here with how I was feeling. I was destructive tae meself and tae others. It took nearly dying fer me tae see sense and tae return home."

"I am glad ye did come home, otherwise we would never have met. Ye are a sight better of a companion tae travel with tae escort me home than an auld stodgy guard" Keelin smiled at him in compassionate understanding. "I thank ye fer finally telling me the truth."

"I would appreciate it if ye kept what I have told ye tae yerself," he requested, not wishing his pain to be known far and wide. "I will tell Braden about what happened in France, when and if I feel that he needs tae ken it."

Keelin nodded. "Yer secrets are safe with me, Madden. Ye ken that."

"Aye, I dae." He gave her a sheepish smile. "I thank ye fer yer discretion."

"Always." She reached over and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

Wishing to change the subject, Madden turned the conversation towards Keelin. "Tell me of this cousin of yers."

Keelin smiled at the thought of her favorite cousin. "Arran is me maither's first cousin, but they are as close tae one another as braither and sister. They grew up together."

"Ah, that is why I have heard ye call him Uncle Arran."

"Aye," Keelin nodded. "He has been more of an uncle tae me than any other man ever has."

"I have heard things about the MacKay lairds of the past from yer cousin's line," Madden mused. "If their reputation has any truth tae it, they were nae all good men."

Keelin shook her head. "Arran is a good man, unlike his faither. Ye and Arran both have quite a lot in common. He fought in France as well fer many years. When both of his parents died on the same day, Arran's sister sent word fer him, and he came home. He has done well fer the clan since becoming laird."

"How did his parents die?"

Keelin frowned at the memory. "Uncle Rory, Arran's father, was drunk. He stumbled and fell dragging his wife, me Aunt Ella, down with him. He hit his head on the stone of the hearth landing on top of her as he fell. He died instantly. She died a week later, having never awakened. They were visiting a friend at the time. It was so sudden. We never got tae say goodbye."

Madden reached out and patted her hand in compassion. "I am sorry fer yer loss."

Keelin shook her head. "I was never fond of Uncle Rory, but I loved me Aunt Ella very much. She was me maither's sister, we all miss her."

Madden nodded in understanding. "I have seen the drink make men dae terrible things."

"It was a bloody awful waste of a life," Keelin replied, anger in her eyes.

"What of Arran's sister? What became of her?"

"She is married tae the laird of her grandmother's clan. I have nae seen her in years. We exchange the occasional letter, but that is it. We were once quite good friends when we were children. I miss her."

"Perhaps ye will see each other when we arrive at her braither's castle."

Keelin shrugged her shoulders. "I doubt it. From what I have heard, her husband does nae allow her tae visit her braither very often."

Madden frowned. He did not care for men who were overly controlling of those under their care. "A lass should nae be kept from her family. I saw the effect being estranged from her family had on me maither. She and me faither were not given their families' blessings tae wed. They tried tae forget one another but they could nae. They married against their families' wishes and were shunned fer it. That is how they came tae live on Hamilton lands. Me maither loved me faither, and they had a braw life together, but when he died, all of the family that she had left was me. It was nae an easy time fer her."

"Now she is with yer faither, and they are happy together once more."

"Aye," Madden nodded. "They are. They were good people."

"I am sorry that ye dinnae have a family of yer own." Keelin gave him a sympathetic look.

Madden shrugged his shoulders. "I dae have family. I have ye, and Braden, and now Edith and their wee bairn."

"Aye, ye have us," Keelin smiled, nodding in reassurance. "But I still believe that we should find ye a wife tae make ye wee bairns of yer own." She lifted a brow wiggling it suggestively. "Perhaps yon barmaid? She had birthing hips."

Madden shook his head, laughing. "I dinnae believe that the world is ready fer me tae have bairns. Can ye imagine the trouble the wee lads and lassies would get in tae? I dinnae believe it tae be a wise course of action.

Keelin gave him a look of disagreement but did not push him further. "As ye wish. It is yer life." Stretching, she pushed away from the table and stood. "I am away tae bed."

"Ye dinnae want tae join me fer a dram?"

Keelin shook her head. "Nae, I am tired tae the bone and wish tae be well rested when we arrive at Arran's castle. Besides, ye will have better luck in finding a bed partner if ye dinnae have me tagging along."

Madden gave her a reproachful look. "Ye dinnae behave as a lady is expected tae behave, nor speak as one is expected tae speak."

Keelin laughed. "I never claimed tae be a lady. The way I behave and speak is why ye adore me as ye dae. I wouldnae be nearly as much fun if I behaved as a proper lady should."

Madden chuckled. "I cannae deny it."

"I will see ye in the morning," Keelin promised. Standing, she laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder, then left the table and climbed the stairs to her room. He watched her until she was out if sight to make certain that none of the other men in the room gave her a hard time. Madden had ensured that she had been given a room with a sturdy bar over the door so that he could rest assured of her safety. His room was next to hers as a secondary means of protection.

Throwing back the last of his ale, he stood and left the inn to go and check on the horses. He eyed the tavern down the street considering his options for a bed companion. The barmaid had been attractive, but she was the innkeeper's daughter and that could get complicated. He did not wish to be barred from the inn when they were in need of rest. They would most likely need to stay there again on the way through to Keelin's parents' lands. If he were being completely honest with himself, he was too tired to be chasing after skirt.

It is tae bad a bonnie lass could nae simply drop in tae me lap as a gift from God without requiring any effort on me part tae bring her tae me bed. He chuckled at the ridiculous image and entered the stables.

After checking on the horses, he made his way around to the side of the building where the innkeeper had placed a table and chairs for his guests. Lowering himself down onto one of them, he leaned back and closed his eyes. The sounds from the inn filtered through the walls, men talking, laughing, and shouting. There were pots and pans banging around in the kitchen. A dog barked in the distance, setting off another dog in response, which set them both to howling. Madden doubted that he would sleep very well. When traveling alone he would usually sleep out in the open, but with Keelin, he had not wanted to risk her safety.

Keelin was a good traveling companion. It had been a trouble-free ride with pleasant conversation. Madden looked forward to meeting her cousin, the Laird Arran MacKay, and exchanging war stories. Keelin had said that they had a lot in common. They had both lost their parents. They had both fought in France. They both cared about Keelin and her family. Madden figured that on those commonalities alone that they could strike up an amiable acquaintance.

Lost in his own thoughts, he did not have any warning when a large lump of warm flesh and fabric came tumbling down from above him and landed hard onto his lap. "Och!" He shouted in protest as his eyes flew open and he came face to face with a dark-haired, grey-eyed lass. Within the next breath, before Madden had a chance to react, she squarely punched him in the face.

"Unhand me!"