Chapter 10
There was a lake within the castle grounds, small and shallow, that had been Lilith's sanctuary for many years. Whenever she found herself twisting and turning in bed at night, unable to sleep, she would go there and sit by the water, letting the breeze lull her into calmness.
It was one of those restless nights when sleep seemed entirely out of reach. She couldn't stop thinking about Aaden and his ridiculous performance. She couldn't stop thinking about the permission she had given him to court her and the fact that it may have been a mistake, after all.
Aaden had sat next to her afterwards while they had their meal, constantly teasing her and trying to engage her in conversation, and under any other circumstances, Lilith would have made plenty of scathing remarks for him that would have worked towards dissuading him from pursuing her any further. But for the first time in her life, she had been at a loss for words, stumbling over them like a foolish girl who was infatuated for the first time.
Why did I let them convince me? Why did I agree tae this?
As much as she hated to admit it, Aaden did have some charm about him that drew people close. She had tried to resist it, of course; at first, it hadn't even been difficult. But his unabashed foolishness and her sister's words had led her to agree to give him a chance.
Then again, she had only promised him that she would let him court her. It didn't mean she had to give him anything else. Marriage was still out of the question.
Swinging her legs off the mattress, Lilith stood and dressed hastily, pulling her arisaid over her shoulders. Though it was warm in the room, the small fire that still burned doing wanders to keep out the chill, she could hear the wind outside that was bound to seep into her bones the moment she stepped foot out of the room.
Despite the chill, the sky was clear that night, The moon, almost full, shone brightly over the castle and though Lilith hardly needed the light to find her way to the lake, it helped her move faster, illuminating her way.
A good night tae see the stars.
Indeed, the sky was full of them and she looked up as she walked, trying to trace all the constellations her father had taught her. It was only when she neared the lake that she lowered her gaze once more, but the shadow she saw there brought her to an abrupt halt.
No one else came there so late at night, at least she had never encountered anyone there before. She was used to having the place for herself and now that there was someone else there, she didn't want to share it.
It didn't take her long to see it was none other than Aaden, his face glowing pale golden under the moonlight. She took a moment to truly study him now that she had the chance, as there was no one there to catch her in the act and Aaden hadn't yet spotted her. Objectively, she knew he was a handsome man. His golden hair framed his eyes, curling lightly by the sharp edge of his jaw. His lips were full and though Lilith would never admit it to anyone, not even herself, she had wondered a few times what it would be like to kiss them.
He was most handsome now, of course, that he wasn't speaking.
Slowly and quietly, Lilith began to approach him. She wanted to see what he was doing there, if he was simply sitting or working on some nefarious plan of his, and if she were honest, she also wanted to scare him a little. It would be good payback for all the trouble he had caused her. As she was walking, though, she was so distracted by his presence that her foot caught on a rock and she stumbled. One moment, she was standing upright and the next she was sprawled on her stomach on the ground, barely having the time to plant her hands so that she wouldn't fall right on her face.
The commotion startled Aaden and his hand went to the hilt of his knife, readying himself for a fight. It took him a few moments of frantically looking around to see there was no threat and that it was only Lilith, grunting as she sat up and dusted herself off.
At least the ground is dry here.
"Lilith?" Aaden asked as he approached, frowning at the sight of her. He offered her his hand and helped her up to her feet, chuckling when Lilith furiously wiped off the dust off her arisaid, but at least he had the decency to hold back his laughter. When she straightened, he reached for her but before he could touch her, Lilith pulled back in surprise.
There was a moment when they only stared at each other in silence, Aaden's hand still outstretched towards her and Lilith frozen on the spot. She glanced between that hand and his eyes, pulling just a little bit farther from him when he didn't move.
Is he tryin' tae pull me intae a kiss?
"Ye have some dirt here," Aaden said softly and closed the distance between them, wiping some soil off her cheek with the pad of his thumb. "There."
It was a momentary touch, barely more than a brush of his fingers, but Lilith's mouth was suddenly dry and her heart beat wildly in her chest. With the moon shining on his handsome features, highlighting the high peaks of his cheekbones and the sharp lines of his jaw, it was easy to forget why she kept resisting Aaden's advances, why she always kept him at a respectable distance. Giving in was not an option, though, and so she shook her head and stepped back, reminding herself that she had decided long ago she would never be this close to a man.
"Are ye alright?" Aaden asked with what sounded to Lilith like genuine concern in his voice.
"Aye," she said, her chin jutting out proudly. The stumble had hurt her ankle a little, but she wasn't about to tell Aaden and have him fuss for no reason. "What are ye doin' here?"
"I only wished tae spend some time alone," Aaden said. "It seemed like a good place fer that."
It was, until ye came here.
"It must have been embarrassin' fer ye tae sing and dance fer me like that," Lilith said, just so that she could turn the conversation to a topic that would give her the upper hand. "Evander an' Cameron were very pleased."
"An' ye?" Aaden asked. "Were ye pleased?"
Lilith did her best to keep her expression neutral, betraying nothing. A part of her had been pleased, she supposed, but she wasn't so easy to win ver. "I found it amusin'."
"Well… then it was worth the embarrassment," said Aaden. "An' it made ye accept me courtship efforts, so I suppose I would dae it again if I had tae. After what I said tae ye last year, I will dae anythin' tae prove tae ye that I am nae that person."
"Yer nae?" Lilith raised a dubious eyebrow, not quite believing him.
"I was," Aaden admitted. "An' perhaps I'm nae much better now, but I want tae be. Fer ye."
Despite her apprehension, Lilith had to admit that Aaden seemed entirely sincere. She liked to think of herself as a good judge of character and unlike his cousin, Aaden gave her the impression that he was telling her the truth. For all she tried to think of his actions as a performance, it was difficult to do so when he was so open with her.
When Lilith said nothing, Aaden asked, "What are ye doin' here? Isnae it late?"
"I wanted tae be alone, too," Lilith said with a sigh as she walked over to the bank, sitting down on the patch of grass that grew there. Aaden followed her and sat down next to her, the two of them gazing at the calm waters of the lake.
"Perhaps we can be alone together," he said, giving her a grin that was half-hidden in shadow.
Lilith couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of her. It was just like Aaden to take the opportunity to linger near her when all she wanted was some time to herself. "Perhaps. I can hardly send ye away now that ye've sat by me, especially as ye were here first."
"Dae ye want me tae leave?" Aaden asked. "If ye ask me tae leave, I will."
Lilith considered it for a few moments. On the one hand, she had come out here with the express purpose of clearing her mind, and that would be difficult to do with Aaden there. On the other hand, it seemed rude to send him away and besides, he had put her in a better mood. Perhaps it would be nice to spend some time with him after all and try to figure out why he was so insistent with her.
"Nay," she said, shaking her head. "Ye can stay."
If the smile Aaden gave her was any indication, he was very pleased to have permission. For a while, the two of them sat there in a silence broken only by the rustling of the leaves and the critters that roamed the grounds at night. But there was only so much silence Lilith could take before she got so uncomfortable that she feared she would burst.
"That song ye sang… Cameron told ye about it, didnae he?" Lilith asked, though she already knew the answer.
"He did," Aaden admitted. "He said ye an' yer sister sing it often."
At least he admits it.
"Our maither used tae sing it tae us when we were bairns," Lilith said. "Well… I remember it. I dinnae think Freya does, but I taught it tae her a long time ago. I think perhaps she believes she remembers but what she truly remembers is what I told her."
"Did yer maither pass when Freya was young?" Aaden asked.
Lilith nodded. "I was eight years o' age. She wasnae even five yet, so she doesnae remember her well."
"But ye dae," Aaden said.
Another nod. "I dae. An' I remember how much it wounded me faither. Even now, he has never once forsaken her, but those first years were unbearable fer him. Losin' her… it changed him."
"I understand," Aaden said. "It isnae far from what happened with me own maither. Though mine is still alive."
Lilith turned to look at him then, only to find him gritting his teeth as though the mere mention of his mother was enough to flood him with emotion.
"What happened?" she asked.
At first, Aaden hesitated. Several moments of silence passed between them, but just when Lilith thought he would never respond to her, he said, "I was separated from her when I was very young. She is… she's a lady o' the night an' she gave me tae me faither tae raise me an' now… now he's dead. An' all those years, he never stopped lovin' her, just like yer faither never stopped lovin' yer maither. I've seen that same pain, Lilith. I ken what it does tae people."
For a few seconds, Lilith was too stunned to speak. She would have never guessed Aaden carried so much pain inside him, a pain so similar to her own. She would have never guessed that he would be able to understand her torment so intimately, he too carrying it on his shoulders.
"I'm sorry, Aaden," she said, reaching over to place a gentle hand on his shoulder. It was the first time she had touched him willingly, her touch one of comfort rather than threat, and though Aaden stiffened at first, as though he wasn't expecting it, he slowly relaxed under her touch, all but melting into it. "But dinnae blame yer maither if ye can. I'm sure she only did what was best fer ye. She couldnae have raised ye on her own, so she had tae give ye away even if it hurt her."
"I ken," Aaden assured her, his own hand coming to rest over hers. "I'm sure she wanted tae keep me. An' she wanted tae be with me faither, but… love isnae easy. It wasnae easy fer them, it wasnae easy fer yer faither, an' I doubt it is easy fer anyone."
All Lilith could do then was nod silently in agreement. The shock of seeing this side of Aaden had rendered her speechless. It was difficult to be combative towards him when he was being so honest with her, his vulnerabilities exposed willingly for her to see.
Was I too quick tae judge him?
Perhaps Aaden was truly regretful of the way he had treated her all those months prior, and he was indeed now putting in an effort to fix what he had almost ruined back then. But where did that leave her? How could she even entertain this idea when she had promised herself she would never fall in love?
"Why are ye so insistent?" she asked. It was a question that had been plaguing her ever since she had seen that Aaden had no intention to give up like her other suitors. "Why me? I'm sure there are many other lasses ye could wed instead."
"Is it so bad that I wish it tae be ye?" Aaden asked. They were drifting closer to each other, Lilith realized, leaning into each other's space, but this time, she didn't try to pull back and neither did he. "Why are ye so insistent ye dinnae wish tae wed?"
Lilith hesitated. She had never spoken her reasons aloud before, knowing that everyone would try to change her mind. Her father surely knew the true reason, but he was merciful enough to never bring it up with her. She didn't speak; she only let the silence gather around them as she couldn't put her thoughts into the right words. Perhaps Aaden was the right person to talk to about all this—the only right person—since he had gone through a similar thing with his family, but she simply couldn't bring herself to discuss this. She had kept it hidden for too long and now anything else seemed impossible.
"I suppose I cannae blame ye fer it when I gave ye such a terrible first impression," Aaden said with a humorless chuckle when it became evident Lilith wouldn't speak. "I'm hardly the right person tae ask ye this."
It helped ease the tension between them. Laughing, Lilith gave Aaden a nudge with her shoulder. "At least yer tryin' tae make up fer it now. There have been countless suitors at our doors, askin' fer me hand relentlessly, who were naething but rude an' presumptuous towards me an' me family an' the servants. They didnae even want me. They wanted me faither's power an' his gold. They want the lairdship o' the clan."
It was convenient to them, of course, that Lilith was pretty, but what they were truly after was her status, all of them trying to clamber over each other to get to the top. Lilith had no use for men like them, nor any regard.
"Which is why I wonder what it is ye seek from this," she continued, eyes narrowing as she regarded him closely. "What is it that ye want from me?"
There was hesitation in Aaden, no matter how momentary, a flash of something akin to guilt that was gone just as quickly as it appeared, but then he said, "Ye bewitched me from the first moment I saw ye. It isnae only that yer bonnie. Ye are, ye're very bonnie, but ye're also… interestin'. I've never met anyone like ye."
His words stunned Lilith into silence. Would she be a fool if she believed him? What if it was nothing but pretty words, thrown at her to blind her to Aaden's true intentions? After all, she had no doubts that his cousin didn't mean half of what he told Freya. Why should Aaden be any different?
But he doesnae seem like his cousin. There is naething false in him.
For the first time in a long while, Lilith's stomach twisted into a knot. She had only felt like this a few times before, when she was a girl and one of the guards had paid her more attention than he did anyone else, but the feeling had soon faded. Even at nineteen, she had known to keep away from romance, especially because she was aware it would lead nowhere.
But now she couldn't stop the flood of want that coursed through her. She saw that desire reflected in Aaden, his hungry gaze fixed on her as though she was the only thing in the world. That gaze had her heartbeat turning erratic, like a hummingbird fluttering behind the cage of her ribs.
"Just because ye dinnae wish fer love, it doesnae mean that ye must deny yerself pleasure," Aaden said in a voice so quiet it was almost drowned out by the light breeze. His breath was warm against her lips, a stark contrast to the air around them, and they had leaned so close to each other that all she had to do to kiss him would be to close that small gap.
As they stared at each other, Aaden's gaze fell from her eyes to her lips, before dragging it back up. "What dae ye mean?" Lilith asked, chest tight, warmth pooling in her core.
She thought she had a good idea of what Aaden meant, though her knowledge didn't extend past the most basic of facts. Her cheeks heated at the mere thought of them together and she was glad for the darkness that surrounded them, as it hid her reddened skin.
"Have ye ever been touched by a man?" Aaden asked. His hand came up to cup her cheek and when Lilith didn't pull back, his thumb began to trace small circles over her skin, warm and tender.
As much as she was under his spell, Lilith couldn't help but scoff at that. "O' course I havenae. I am the daughter o' the laird. I'm unwed. Who dae ye think?—"
"Would ye like tae be?"
The question cut Lilith's rant short. Her eyes widened, lips parting of their own accord. Any other time, she would have simply slapped Aaden for his insolence and stomped away but now it seemed too tempting to resist.
Her lifelong promise to herself and her desire for Aaden pulled her in two different directions, at war within her. When he closed the gap between them, though, and captured her lips in a soft kiss, she stopped fighting her lust. She gave in, arms snaking around Aaden's shoulders as he deepened the kiss, licking the seam on her lips until she parted them to allow him entrance.
It was not how she thought the night would go. The kiss was like nothing she had experienced before, turning her entire body molten as Aaden claimed her mouth. When he let go of her lips to press kisses down her jaw and neck, Lilith tilted her head, baring her skin for him with a soft, content sigh.
He was gentler than she had imagined, his touch soft as he trailed his hands over her sides to rest on her hips. Even through the layers that separated them, she could feel the drag of his fingers, the touch soft and teasing and driving her mad with desire. With every breath she took, her chest heaved, her breasts threatening to spill over the neckline of the dress that she had hastily secured before leaving her chambers. When Aaden ran his tongue over the swell of them, the tip dipping past the neckline and brushing over her nipple, a moan was torn out of Lilith and she arched her back, chasing that feeling.
For a moment, Aaden pulled back, looking pleased with himself. "Good?" he asked, sounding as breathless and as affected as Lilith felt.
"Dae it again," she demanded, fingers threading through his blonde locks to pull his head towards her once more. With a chuckle, Aaden tugged her neckline down just enough to free her breast, lips wrapping tightly around her hardened nipple. The heat of his mouth was heavenly, the pressure of his tongue sending jolts of pleasure through her, but it was when he scraped his teeth gently over her sensitive skin that she clamped a hand over her lips, muffling a moan of his name.
"Can I touch ye?" Aaden asked, his hand tracing a path down her body until it settled between her legs. With a gasp at the unexpected touch, Lilith jerked her hips, though she didn't know if she was trying to get away from him or press closer. Sensing her hesitation, Aaden whispered in her ear, "I'll make ye feel so good, Lilith. I promise ye."
Nodding, Lilith tilted her hips once more in a silent plea. The movement pressed Aaden's fingers against her mound through the fabric of her dress and she groaned at the pressure, legs falling apart wider so Aaden could settle between them. He knelt on the ground, his eyes taking in the lines of her shoulders, the curve of her breasts, the dip of her waist, before finally falling on his own fingers as they began to stroke her slowly over her clothes. The drag of the fabric against her was almost too rough but the pleasure was so foreign and unexpected that Lilith was already writhing under him, chasing the feeling as much as she could.
She wondered what a picture she must have made for Aaden, her hair spilling in a dark halo around her head, her dress barely clinging to her as she breathed, her skin flushed and hot to the touch. Under the moonlight, Aaden looked otherworldly, hair shining like burnished gold, his pupils so wide with lust that they seemed to swallow everything else.
Impatience seemed to grip him then and Aaden rushed to push Lilith's dress up, exposing her to the cold air and his gaze. On instinct, she pulled her legs close together once more, the embarrassment too strong to resist, but Aaden was quick to grab her knees and spread her thighs apart once more, looking his fill.
"Dinnae hide from me," he said, leaning closer to press a kiss on her thigh. "Yer too bonnie fer that."
Lilith's heart beat so fast that she feared it would tunnel its way through her, and then it almost stopped entirely when Aaden's fingers found her opening, stroking gently over her folds. His other hand gripped her thigh, fingers digging into the plush flesh to anchor them both as he slowly gathered her wetness, his hand trailing higher to rub over that spot that had stars exploding behind her eyelids when she closed her eyes.
A tingling sensation travelled up her spine. It was unlike anything Lilith had ever experienced before and she thought in that moment that if this is what people had once they were married, then perhaps it was worth it after all. But Aaden had told her there was no need for love or even for marriage to have this and as long as they were in agreement about never falling in love, then perhaps they could take advantage of their situation.
When he began to push against her opening, Lilith's hands shot up in search of him, holding onto his shoulders. Aaden leaned over her, pressing their foreheads together as one of his fingers finally breached her, both of them moaning against each other's lips at the slide of him inside her. Lilith craned her neck to kiss him as Aaden pushed deeper and deeper, until he was buried to the knuckle in her, his touch igniting a fire beneath the surface of her skin.
"More," she whispered when they parted. It felt as though she was hurtling towards the edge of something, but it wasn't enough. She needed something, anything to quench that terrible desire, and Aaden was happy to oblige. Adding a second finger, he pumped them faster, building up the pace as Lilith followed the movements with her hips, wantonly taking all the pleasure she wanted from him.
When Aaden's other hand joined his efforts, his thumb teasing that sensitive spot and tearing moan after moan out of Lilith, her desire crested, the sensations that built relentlessly inside her coalescing into a climax that had her entire body shaking with relief. Aaden worked her through it, his fingers relentlessly wringing her pleasure out of her until she could do nothing but collapse on the ground, her limbs twitching and her vision going black for what felt like minutes.
When she came to, Aaden was still hovering above her, smiling softly as he righted her dress for her.
"Ye're very sweet when ye give in tae yer desire," he said, much to Lilith's embarrassment. She scowled, trying to push him away, but Aaden only laughed and stole another kiss from her, his lips lingering on hers until the urge to reestablish a distance between them was gone.
She could only hope it was nothing but a weakness of the moment and that she would return to her usual self soon. The last thing she wanted was for Aaden to have so much sway over her with a few kisses and a feverish touch.
"Aaden…" Lilith let her voice trail off, not knowing what to say. What was there to say after this? She still didn't want to marry him but now their coupling had complicated things for her. Perhaps this was nothing but a regular night for Aaden, who was used to having a parade of women in his bed, but for Lilith, the world had tilted on its axis.
"I ken what ye'll say an'—"
The sound of footsteps cut Aaden's words short. Both froze where they lay on the ground, their gazes searching for the unseen source of the sound. It wasn't a guard, that much Lilith knew for certain. The steps were quick and light, followed by a conversation she couldn't quite decipher from that distance.
"Who is that?" she whispered. Hearing her voice snapped her out of her trance and she quickly pushed Aaden away, hands working fast to make sure she looked as presentable as possible. It was easier said than done, but as long as she looked decent enough to be able to deny that anything had ever happened, then she would be fine.
"I dinnae ken," Aaden said, just as quietly. He stood, offering his hand to Lilith to pull her up to her feet as well, and then gave her a mischievous grin. "Shall we find out?"