Chapter 22

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

E loise followed Murdoch into the library, with one of her hands in his and a small basket in her other hand. She'd gathered together the few bits she needed to attend to Murdoch's wounds, using a salve that Callie had shown her and some linen strips.

"Why here?" she whispered as Murdoch released her hand and closed the door behind them. He sought out a tinder box and lit a candle, then he went to the fire and lit that too. Eloise followed him toward the hearth, dropping to her knees before the fire in an effort to get warm.

"I ken what it is tae feel grief, Eloise," he whispered.

I ken that already.

Eloise hung her head, thinking of her mother.

"I have lost one I love already. I cannae lose Avery too."

"I dinnae believe ye will." Murdoch raised his head from the logs in the hearth. "I have seen men with worse injuries survive. It is about the wound itself now, and if he can avoid infection." He grimaced. "But we must have hope, Eloise."

"And hope can be found in this room?" she murmured, gesturing around them. She had one happy memory of being in here, the night that she and Murdoch had played chess together.

"Distraction can be found here," he reassured her, kneeling back as the fire took light.

Distraction, aye, he is right. It is a way tae fight grief, a way tae contend with it.

"Here, let me help ye with these." She reached toward him, urging him to hold out his arms so she could attend to the wounds. "What happened out there?"

She listened patiently as he described the battle over the portcullis, each side trying to gain the upper hand. He removed the chainmail he'd tossed over his chest for the battle to offer some protection, revealing a loose shirt beneath that was dampened with sweat. His arms were grazed in many places, and he thrust the sleeves up past his elbows, giving her more access to his skin so she could rub the wounds and bind the worst ones in linen.

Eloise worked with quick fingers, kneeling before him and moving closer and closer to him in her concern. When her fingers traced a deep cut near his healing wound on his shoulder, she paused, her breath catching in her throat.

"Eloise?" Murdoch whispered, earning her gaze. "I am well," he assured her, clearly sensing her thoughts. "None of these wounds will kill me."

"Aye." She nodded, trying to convince herself of such a thing. "If they had caught this…" She ran a hand over the bandage on his shoulder, then shuddered. "I dinnae ken what tae think."

"Then dinnae think it." He raised a hand to her chin and urged her to keep her head lifted, to maintain the connection of their gazes. "Dinnae think it, Eloise. I am here." He smiled, even if it was a little sadly. "Come morning, all will be well with the world again."

"Is that what ye hold onto? The idea that the sun keeps rising?" she whispered.

"Sometimes." He smiled, broadly this time. "Here, let us find something tae think about. Something that doesnae concern battle."

"Aye, very well." Eloise sniffed, finding slow tears escaping her eyes and running down her cheeks regardless of their words. Determined to try, she gathered herself and crossed the room, reaching for a book off one of the shelves. She returned to his side and dropped down in front of him, handing him the book.

"What is this?" he asked.

"Yer next lesson."

"Now?"

"Why nae? It is a distraction, and this book is a good one."

"Ro…" He paused, reading along the spine of the book. " Robinson Crusoe ?"

"Aye." She took the book from him and opened the page, turning so that he could see the page over her shoulder. To her surprise, he gathered her into his lap, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her safely against him. They sat beside the fire together, with the heat basking the two of them. "Ye read fer a bit, and I shall help where I can."

"As ye wish," he whispered in her ear, then turned his focus down to the book.

Eloise wasn't sure for how long they sat there in their strange reading lesson, but it helped. Soon, she did not ache so much when she thought of Avery in such pain, heavily sedated with Callie beside him. She held onto hope instead, hope that when the sun rose, so would Avery, and he would be well again.

When Murdoch fell into good habits with reading aloud, Eloise stopped correcting him and rested her head on his shoulder, enjoying the warmth of being close to him next to the fire.

"Something tells me ye arenae listening tae this story anymore?" Murdoch whispered, something of a humored tone in his voice.

"Nay, I am nae. I am thinking of ye instead."

Murdoch dropped the book beside them on the rug. Wrapping his other arm around her as well as the first, he nestled her completely in his chest. Caught up with that feeling, she clung to him, not wanting it to end.

"What were ye saying earlier? When we were stood outside of the feast."

"Ah, that seems so long ago now." Murdoch dropped a kiss to her forehead. "Suffice it tae say, I dinnae want tae pull back from ye, Eloise. I cannae pull back."

Such warmth spread inside of her that Eloise turned in his lap. She shifted to face him completely, her face moving closer to his. She couldn't put into words what she felt for Murdoch at that moment. All she knew was that she wanted to be nearer to him, had to be, to hold onto this privileged and intimate moment where they supported one another, and nothing else mattered but them being there for each other.

Unable to find the words, she chose an action instead and moved toward him, placing her lips to his. It was a slow kiss, tender, for she was nervous about him pulling back from her again. When he didn't, she grew bolder, pushing the kiss a little more.

His hands shifted and he suddenly grabbed her waist and held on much tighter than before, holding her to him, with intense passion. Emboldened by his actions, her hands reached for his shoulders, clinging to him.

They kissed so strongly that not a word passed between them, they just experienced the moment, holding onto one another.

Determined to be closer to him, Eloise shifted his knees, ending up straddling him. His hands slid down from her waist, reaching for her hips where he pulled her against him. The brush of their hips elicited that thrill she had known two nights before in his arms. She did it again, of her own accord this time, brushing herself against him, where she felt his hardened length.

At the suddenness of it, she pulled back an inch, the better to look him in the eye.

"Dinnae stop," she whispered.

Murdoch closed his eyes, a taunted expression on his face.

"I willnae take ye completely, Eloise, nae like this."

"Then show me something more," she pleaded. This was the distraction she longed for, and she didn't want to give up on it yet.

He kissed her again, this time with more fervor than before. His hand tangled in her hair, tearing it out of what little remained in its updo. With it wild about her head, he drew her back to the rug, so she was laid flat, moving above her.

Eloise clung to him, deepening the kiss as much as she could, raising one knee around his hip to feel him closer and closer to her.

His hands went wandering. One braced himself against the floor, holding him above her, as the other reached for her gown. Eloise thought he was going to show her what he had already shown her a few nights before, but the touch of his fingers never quite reached her core. Instead, when her skirt was gathered around her hips, he released her from her kiss and moved down.

Raising herself on her elbows, she watched him, curious as to what he was going to do next. He latched one of her thighs over his shoulder and moved his lips to her center.

The pleasure was so sudden, it was like a bolt of lightning inside of her, striking up from where he touched her through her insides. She fell back down on the rug, one hand reaching for his hair as the other toyed with the rug beneath her.

He was bold with his kisses, pushing her a little, treating a bud of nerves outside of her that sent her mad with wanting more of this feeling, more of him. At one point, she raised her head to watch him, to find him looking at her. The connection of their eyes made the pleasure somehow greater, the knowledge that he wanted to do this to her somehow overpowering.

When he moved his hand, reaching his fingers inside of her as he kissed outside of her, she lost all sense of being. She could no longer moan his name, and only managed sounds as her head dropped back down to the rug. She was certain sweat was beading down the center of her back, she even feared how much noise she might be making, in case others overheard her, but she couldn't stop. She just needed more of this sensation.

Then her peak washed over her. It struck her suddenly and she stilled on the rug, feeling Murdoch's touches as he continued to pleasure her through her high. She kept moaning, struggling to come down from that height, as he lifted himself over her. His fingers slowly left her and trailed along her thigh, a teasing reminder of what they had just shared, as he moved his lips to her forehead and kissed her.

"God, Eloise," he whispered, continuing to kiss her through the mess of her hair. "I cannae stay away from ye. Nae now."

She shuddered with pleasure at his words, knowing it was exactly how she felt. Yet a new certainty washed over her, a knowledge that was so strong, she was afraid to utter it.

Whatever she had thought or felt for Murdoch before paled. The frustration and the anger at the difficult man was all nothing compared to the heat, the excitement, the care, everything.

God's wounds. When did I fall in love with Murdoch?

The mere thought had her tearful. Unable to say the words, for she feared what he would say to such a thing, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and held him closer to her. He folded his body against hers, keeping her warm and close on the rug. Eloise fought her tears, hiding her face in his shoulder. When the tears eventually did come and she lost that battle, she didn't know if it was because of her fears for Avery and the battle, or because she feared that Murdoch might never be able to love her back quite as she loved him.

Eloise plunged her head under the bath, bobbing under the water and letting her hair dance above her head. It had been a long morning.

After the night she had spent with Murdoch, the two of them distracting each other from the world, the moment she had woken in his arms on the library rug, she had gone to see Avery again.

Thank God fer Callie and Wilson! Aye, he is doing so much better.

Avery had sat up to greet her in bed, saying some foolish things which he blamed on the strong sedative that Callie had given him. He felt no pain at the moment though Callie had whispered he would do, when the sedative wore off. Fortunately, the strike to his stomach had not caught any vital organs. Though Wilson had insisted he sit down and barely move, an order that was likely to last for some weeks, all the signs that morning were positive ones.

Callie had cried in relief and Avery held tightly to her hand.

Between Callie and Wilson, they had saved his life. The result could have been much worse had Murdoch and Ian not brought him back to the healers in time.

A voice called to Eloise in the chamber. Lifting her head out of the bath, she took a deep breath and looked around the room.

"Melady?"

"Ethel?" Eloise called to the maid, recognizing her padding on the other side of the screen.

"A note has arrived for ye." Ethel poked her head around the screen keeping her eyes averted as she proffered forward the note.

"Thank ye, Ethel. I shall be out soon." Eloise took the note and smiled at the maid, feeling much happier after seeing Avery recovering so well. Ethel parted, leaving Eloise to rest back against the edge of the bath once again as she broke the seal on the letter.

Her mind distracted as she moved her long legs beneath the water, she thought of the other reason she was so happy today. It was all to do with Murdoch and what he had done for her the night before.

Breaking the seal of the note, her eyes darted across the words.

‘Dear Eloise,

I know Avery might be out of danger, but I am still concerned. Aye, it is the truth that my heart cannae bear seeing me beloved husband in such a state. I wish tae talk openly with ye, let us share our woes, but nae where he can see us. Come take a walk with me on the cliffs overlooking the ocean at Glenfinnan this afternoon.

Yours,

Callie.'

There was something strange about the letter. Usually these days, Callie signed her name with just a ‘C' when she wrote to Eloise, though Eloise figured in Callie's distraught and nervous state that it was hardly a surprise she as not writing in her usual manner.

Determined to be there for her sister-in-law, Eloise closed up the note and dropped it onto a small table beside the bath, climbing out of the water.

"Eloise?" Murdoch called as he strode into the chamber.

There was no answer. He frowned as he looked around the room. He'd been searching for her for the last hour at least, and yet there was still no sign. They had talked about meeting in the library again for another reading lesson or he could teach her how to play chess again. Any time with her at this moment would be well received after he had been looking over the state of the soldiers all morning.

The Douglas soldiers had left their mark on the castle and on the men. It was agony to see, but Murdoch had to stay strong for his father and brother. What hurt him most was seeing the pained look on his father's face. Poor Fergus felt he had let his kin down by not being better prepared for such an attack.

Nay one could have seen it coming. It was nae his fault.

Murdoch walked across the chamber when he caught sight of the droplets of water near the copper bath. He approached it, catching sight of an opened letter beside the bath resting on a table. He lifted the note, reading quickly – as quickly as he could - the words that had been written by Callie. By the time he was done, he was smiling.

There was something about the thought of Eloise running to her sister-in-law's aid which touched him dearly. Eloise had a good heart. Maybe there was a time when he had been reluctant to see it, but he knew it now without a doubt.

Figuring that with Callie gone, he should go and check on Avery, he tucked the note into his doublet and left his chamber, hurrying through the keep and out of the courtyard, down the hill toward the healer's cottage. As he reached the door, he tapped lightly and stepped inside.

"Avery?"

"Ye come tae see me too?" Avery called. "Aye, I've been having visitors all morning."

Murdoch stepped through the open door and stalled when he saw Avery was indeed not alone. Ian and Aila were there, as was Clyde, and Callie too.

"Callie?" Murdoch muttered in surprise.

"Ye look shocked." She giggled as she continued grinding some herbs in a pestle and mortar. "Where else would I be?"

"I thought…" Murdoch trailed off and reached for the letter in his pocket. Crossing the room, he passed the note into Callie's hand. Her smile slipped from her face as she read the note.

"This isnae me handwriting. Murdoch, I didnae write this letter."

"Ye didnae?" Murdoch asked, needing to be certain.

Wait… the cliffs.

Murdoch felt he had been struck by thunder as he realized exactly where Eloise had been asked to meet the writer of that letter.

It is where Lillie died.

"Murdoch? What is going on?" Clyde called from across the room.

Murdoch didn't answer. He left the note in Callie's hand and ran back out of the cottage, sprinting up the hill toward the stables as fast as he could.