Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

E ven as he lay there, Alaric didn’t sleep. He didn’t trust any of those men—he would be a fool if he did. They were mercenaries, cruel and ruthless, the kind of scum even he avoided in his travels. He didn’t want the trouble that came with associating with them, even in passing, but now he had no other choice but to be prepared for it.

Those who remained outside the tents and kept watch for the first part of the night were watching him and Lucia more than they were watching their surroundings. Alaric didn’t know if that was part of the orders they had received, Callum telling them that they were more of a threat than anyone who could come across them in the middle of the woods at night, or if they were simply curious. Either way, he refused to let his guard down even for a moment, tracking their beady, glinting eyes in the dark to make sure no one would come too close.

It wasn’t only his safety for which he feared. Lucia was right there with him and despite everything, Alaric couldn’t bring himself to let anything happen to her. She had lied to him, she had deceived him, and she had dragged him into this mess, but even so, he couldn’t help but feel some responsibility towards her. After all, he had agreed to help and even if it was for her personal gain, she had saved him from those men.

Lucia was still as she slept next to him, curled up into herself, either to battle the chill or because it offered her some sense of protection. Under the combined weight of their wool cloaks, her body was warm and Alaric could feel the heat emanating from her, providing him with a strange comfort. He always made a point of sleeping alone. Even on nights when he joined a woman in bed, he left before he could fall asleep, even if he planned to return to them the next night. This was too unfamiliar for him. Having a warm body next to him in bed—as much as the soil where they lay could be called a bed—was a sensation so foreign that it was enough to set him on edge.

He wondered if he would have to get used to it now that he would be marrying Kayla. With any luck, she would be one of those married women who preferred having their own chambers, something Alaric could easily arrange for her. This was only a marriage of convenience, after all. Their only desires were tied to their duties: uniting their clans and producing heirs. Neither of those things required them to share a room.

Concerning himself with the specifics of their arrangement when he was in the middle of the strangest mission in his life seemed foolish to Alaric. Home seemed so far from where he was, not only in physical distance, but also in his mind. Never before had he felt so removed from his regular life, the one he spent with his family in the warmth and comfort of Castle MacGregor. Even when he was on a mission, he always had a sense of when he would return and he had always acted like himself, but now he was no longer Alaric MacGregor. If the Ravencloaks found out his true identity, he would be a dead man.

Has me braither received me letter? What if he thinks me dead?

Evan would be concerned for him if he was still in the dark about his plan. Even in his letter, Alaric hadn’t managed to write enough to explain where he would be going, what he would be doing, or how long it would take him to go back home, since he had no answers to those questions himself. He wouldn’t put it past his brother to send a search party out for him if he took too long without sending any correspondence, and that was precisely what Alaric feared. The smallest wrong move could reveal his identity to the Ravencloaks and then both he and Lucia would be in danger.

“Must ye breathe so loudly?”

The question caught Alaric by surprise and he jumped a little, suddenly pulled out of his thoughts. All this time, he had thought Lucia was asleep next to him, but she sounded perfectly awake now, and it was then Alaric realized she had not fallen asleep at all, but was rather pretending.

Was she watching the Ravencloak men like he was? Was she thinking about her plan?

She was much more devious than she appeared, Alaric knew as much now, but her sweet appearance and her angelic face were enough to make him forget that every time he looked at her. He only remembered the truth when she revealed something that reminded him of her true self, of all the things of which she was capable.

“How does even that bother ye?” Alaric hissed, focusing on his irritation instead of the conflicting feelings that had blossomed inside him ever since he had first met Lucia. It was easier this way, he told himself—safer. The physical proximity alone would be enough for them to bond, especially if they were bound to spend a lot of time near each other. Alaric had made many a friend simply because they were joined by a common cause and spent their days near each other. With Lucia, though, it wasn’t simply the physical proximity that drew them together. It was her tenacity, her strength, and as much as Alaric hated to admit it, her physical beauty; all traits he could not easily resist.

“It bothers me when ye dae it right next tae me ear,” Lucia said, squirming under the cloaks as she turned to face him. Suddenly, they were face to face, their noses almost touching, and Alaric’s breath was cut short.

Lucia, too, froze. The two of them stared at each other in silence for a moment that seemed to stretch into eternity. Alaric felt his cheeks heat and he hoped the darkness would be enough to cover his foolish blush or at least that Lucia would be decent enough to not embarrass him by mentioning it.

He didn’t think he could handle it if she did.

“Ye can move away, ye ken,” she continued, the half of her face that was illuminated by the fire contorting into a mask of annoyance. “Ye dinnae have tae be so close tae me.”

“In case ye forgot, dear wife , we’re wedded,” Alaric reminded her, his voice dropping even lower in volume. “Ye were the one who told everyone we’re husband an’ wife. Would yer husband leave ye alone with all these men?”

“Me husband would ken me well enough tae understand these men pose nay threat tae me,” Lucia said through gritted teeth. “I dinnae need yer protection. I think I’ve proven as much already.”

Alaric could hardly argue with that. Lucia had fought Lachlan herself and she had won, proving her strength to everyone in the gang. The only way for them to subdue her would be if they teamed up against her and then there wouldn’t be much either of them could do to stop it if their numbers were large enough.

Still, Alaric thought it safer to remain close and maintain their cover.

“Ye never did tell me how ye ken all these things,” Alaric said, jumping on the opportunity to learn more about Lucia and hopefully decipher the mystery she posed. “How does a lassie learn how tae fight men twice her size? Several at a time, too?”

“I caught the ones back at the cottage by surprise,” Lucia said in a flat tone, as though by reflex. “As fer the rest, well, nae everyone is lucky tae have a simple, quiet life. I’ve had tae fight fer many things. I’ve had tae fight many men. Me braither taught me everythin’ I ken so I would be safe if I was ever alone. We didnae have the luxury o’ walls or a keep. We didnae have the luxury o’ guards an’ soldiers an’ people who could protect us. We had tae learn how tae keep ourselves safe.”

Alaric was no fool. He knew he was one of the lucky few who had grown up the way he had, learning how to fight not because he had to ensure his safety but rather because he enjoyed it. It had been his duty at first, that much was true, as much as it was any noble-born boy’s duty to learn to fight, but no one had forced him to be a scout. No one forced him to be out there, risking his life and braving the cold whenever he couldn’t reach a town early enough to find a room for the night.

He never had to fight for daily survival.

Everything he did, he did because he enjoyed it. He enjoyed travelling and seeing new places, meeting new people. He enjoyed the fights and the clever ploys he had to come up with to gather information. Lucia and the brother she had lost had never done it out of enjoyment, though, but rather out of sheer necessity, knowing that if they so much as appeared weak, someone would take what little they had away from them—perhaps even their lives.

He didn’t know what to say to her. Words seemed insufficient for the enormity of the situation and so he remained silent, listening when she spoke again.

“This is how I ken all these things. Through me braither or the few other people who were kind enough tae teach me when I was a wee lass. I can assure ye I’m nae the only one who kens these things. There are plenty out there just like me because they have nae other choice.”

Alaric wanted to point out he had never met anyone like Lucia, but he doubted she would appreciate the sentiment. He wasn’t trying to claim she was a liar. Perhaps she was right and there were plenty of women in the world like her who had to learn how to fight and survive and learn the inner workings of gangs like the Ravencloaks, but that didn’t change the fact Alaric had never met any of them. He had only met Lucia, and in his mind, there was no other girl like her.

“Why are ye tellin’ me this now?” Alaric asked. “Ye have never shared a single thing with me, nae matter how much I asked.”

Lucia let out a soft sigh. “After everythin’ we have been through together, it seems only right that ye ken a few things about me. Besides, ye havenae asked me that many questions an’ we havenae been together fer long. Ye simply arenae patient.”

Alaric chuckled. He couldn’t help it, but he supposed Lucia was right. It only felt as though they had been together for a long time, as so much had happened since he had first met her. It didn’t feel like a couple of days, but rather a lifetime of knowing her.

“The scars,” said Alaric, “on your back? Did they… is that how ye suffered them? In the hands o’ such men?”

As open as Lucia had been with him until then, now she was suddenly entirely shut off. Alaric could see it in the way her expression hardened, hiding her thoughts behind a cold facade once more, one he knew he could never penetrate. He remembered her words— we didnae have the luxury o’ walls or a keep . Lacking those, she had to build some herself around her.

Before Alaric could utter a single word, Lucia shifted again, turning to her side to face away from him, and he knew that no matter what he said now, he would not get a single word out of her—at least not one that would not be a threat or an insult. With a sigh, he rolled onto his back and stared at the sky above, the patches of it that he could see through the sprawling branches. There were no stars; only darkness, thick clouds travelling over the earth and bringing with them the threat of a storm. Next to him, Lucia was once again utterly still, but this time, Alaric could sense her stiffness, the way she held every muscle in her body tense as though she were a coiled snake, ready to either attack or flee.

I should have never asked.

Alaric hadn’t taken a good look at those scars, but he had seen enough to know that they were deep and plentiful. Lucia may have given him nothing, no reaction other than ignoring him, but even with that blank stare she had given him, he knew her pain ran deep and it was not simply physical.

Not for the first time, he wondered what could have caused those scars and who it had been who had hurt her that way. Guilt tore at him for asking about it in the first place. Surely, Lucia was trying to forget, as much as those scars would allow such a thing. Surely, she was trying to keep her thoughts far away from those memories, and yet Alaric had brought them back to the surface selfishly and with no regard to her well-being.

The next time, he would do well to keep his mouth shut, he thought.

But was there going to be a next time? Would Lucia ever trust him enough to tell him the story of those scars? Alaric didn’t even really know if they would be around each other long enough for that to happen. She had told him the mission would take a while, but she hadn’t specified just how long. It could be days or it could be weeks or it could be months, and Alaric didn’t know which option sounded the best.

Slowly, he came to the realization that the clearing was quiet—not silent in that unsettling way that spoke of danger, but simply quiet, filled with the sounds of forest critters and the slow, even breaths of the men around him. Next to him, Lucia was still awake and if he had to guess, he would say she would remain awake for the rest of the night.

And so, although troubled by their conversation and the future but reassured by her solid presence, he slept.