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Ten

Dayton

"You should have seen him eat the grass," Brennan laughed, making a sliding motion with his hand while he jubilantly told Vale about his lacrosse scrimmage that afternoon.

Leaning back in my chair, I watched the pair with bemused curiosity. I hadn't seen this side of my brother in years. The thought brought a knot to my throat, and I swallowed hard around it. Not tonight. Sad memories would not encroach on this evening out with my new neighbor—a new neighbor my little brother obviously adored.

A neighbor who gave him her complete attention while he relayed his stories. I couldn't help noticing from the way her cute, compact body shook and her eyes sparkled while she laughed at Brennan's stories about his team.

The connection between them melted the edges of the ice that had lived in my chest for the past five years. I'd been in stasis while Brennan had tried to move on with his life, even though I knew a cloud lived over his head, that dark fog of mourning that never seemed to lift, even in the brightest sunshine.

Sometimes, I thought the sunshine just made things worse for the unfairness of it all because the woman I'd loved couldn't see it, couldn't feel its warmth.

But she was in a place were pain and suffering and fear couldn't touch her—I had to remind myself of that. It was us left behind who endured. It seemed like maybe Brennan was healing, though. The unfamiliar warmth inside me expanded. I was happy for him, if a little sad Melonie slipping even further away.

"Day?"

"Huh?" I blinked, suddenly realizing they were both staring at me. Shit. I'd been watching them, yet so lost in my thoughts I hadn't even been seeing while Brennan waved a hand in front of my face.

"I was wondering if you'd like another beer," Vale said. "Or anything else to eat? The burgers are gone, but there's more of the pasta salad and fruit—and I have more burgers that could be grilled in the house. There's also some cookies and cupcakes." Her lips curled into a small, self-deprecating smile. "I love to bake. Probably too much. It's a habit I can't seem to break."

"I could use another beer, but damn, I shouldn't eat another bite." I'd already had a couple servings of the Waldorf and pasta salads, both favorites of mine. Just like the cookies she brought over the other day. "Cranberry white chocolate cookies?"

"There's some of those, I think. I also made peanut butter cup. I didn't let my brother and his friends scarf them all up earlier." She rolled her eyes. "I'm their dealer."

My shoulders stiffened, and I glanced over at Brennan, wondering if I had to rush him out of here. Of course, this was too good to be true.

"Dealer?" I growled.

"Oh God," she exclaimed, laughing and holding up a hand. "Cookie and dessert dealer, not drugs. Since I moved away, they're here all the time begging for baked goods."

And there I went overreacting, but hell, more than half my time went toward fighting the drug problem in our city. "After trying the batch you brought over the other day, I can see why."

"Yeah," Brennan chimed in. "He hogged them all."

"I guess you'll have to come over and pick up your own. I'm not even kidding; I probably bake every day. My brother has even started sending supplies over, since he won't have me spending money on all of his, um, on all his friends." She tilted her head toward the house. "I'll go get that beer. You want anything, Bren?"

"Nah. I'm leaving soon. The guys and I are going to the drive-in."

"Meeting girls there?" I asked.

"Of course."

"There's still a drive-in around?" Vale asked.

"Yeah. In Muskegon. You should go sometime. Maybe with Day."

I blinked at my little brother. Was he actually playing matchmaker?

"Maybe…" Vale murmured. "I'll be right back."

"Way to scare her off," I growled, once she'd disappeared through the back slider into the house.

"I didn't scare her off. But you mighta by going all cop on her. Dang, Bro."

"I didn't go all cop."

"Pfft. Right. So… Before I go… I've got some tough love for you."

"Brennan," I groaned. Geez, I had over a dozen years on the kid, and here he was, primed to give me advice.

"I'm just saying… I like Vale. You obviously like her, too. It's been like five years. I miss Mel. You miss her. But she would kill you if she knew how you've been since she…" He cut off and swallowed. "Since that day. You know that's true. You need to… I want you to… Just, well, dang it. Give this a chance, okay?"

My hand scrubbed over my mouth, pinching my bottom lip while I stared at my feet through the glass-topped table. "Brennan, it's not as easy as—"

"It would be if you'd give it a chance. I know you were married to her, but I lost her too. She was like my mom—even before Mom and Dad died. Mel was my big sister and, well, like I said… She was my mom. If I can try, you can try."

He wasn't wrong, but I wasn't sure I could ever move on in a way that was fair to either woman. Not until Melonie's murderer was behind bars. Because… What if it had something to do with me? What if I put someone else—Vale—in danger?

Vale returned before I could answer Brennan. He popped up as soon as she came back with two longnecks and a plate of the cookies she'd mentioned.

She held the plate toward my brother, and he took two, groaning at the first bite. "Oh my God, these are my new faves. And on that, I've gotta go before I'm late. You two be good and definitely do what I would do." I didn't even want to think about what my eighteen-year-old brother would do.

Vale chuckled. "Another for the road?"

Brennan shuffled his half-eaten cookie into the hand where he held the other, then plucked one more from the plate. "Thanks, Vale."

With a wave, he took off, and I was alone with the woman who'd started sparking long-dead parts of me back to life for some unfathomable reason. Unfathomable besides that I liked her, she made me laugh, and fuck, she was too gorgeous for my pleasure centers to ignore. Which seemed foreign to me. The part of my brain that noticed things like that had been long dormant, too.

"Well, I guess it's just us." She set down the plate, so she could hand me one of the bottles. "Wanna take our drinks and the dessert and sit over by the fire?"

While I'd been, putting together the grill earlier, Brennan had started the square firepit that went with the furniture on the side of the wide porch. Really, I loved Vale's backyard, which had been set-up for outdoor lounging, dining and cooking.

"I love what you've done here," I said, indicating to the porch where I could easily see myself hanging out. Melonie and I had always had plans for our backyard, but it had fallen off my list and been forgotten when surviving had become the priority. Maybe, it was time to get something done for me and Brennan. And we could invite Vale over…

"I always wanted a backyard like this. A place where I can live outside when the weather's nice."

"My wife always wanted one like this, too," I said when we sat on the plush cushions of the couch.

"Wife," she echoed, but it didn't sound like a question.

"Yeah, she… I'm a widower."

Vale nodded, and I saw her search for some words to offer. It was the same expression I'd seen on so many other people's faces when they looked at me with strained, uncomfortable sympathy. While sympathy played through Vale's eyes, she didn't appear as if she were looking for a quick escape from an uncomfortable conversation.

"I'm so sorry for what you've been though, Dayton."

"Thank you. She… She was murdered. I don't tell people that, usually. I mean, everyone who knows me—or knows people who know me.—they all know what happened. But other people, strangers, I don't usually…" Geez, where were my words? "I don't usually mention anything. It's not really a talking point, you know? But I figure… Well, I should tell you."

She nodded.

"It was five years ago," I added.

"And you don't know how to move forward. Have you moved forward?"

No one had ever asked me that. "There hasn't been anyone else, if that's what you're asking. I've been in a holding pattern. They never caught the murderer. No leads. It's been… We've, Brennan and me, we've been living in this bubble, I suppose you could say. We're both learning to move on. Him more than me, maybe." I shook my head, staring at the stars overhead. "Shit. I can't believe I'm laying this one you."

"It's okay. Really."

"Thing is…lately… Christ, I don't want to sound like a miserable dog. But I've been…"

What could I say? Coming back to life and noticing my hot as fuck neighbor? Realizing I wasn't dead, too, after all? Everything that came to my lips seemed skeevy or a betrayal.

Vale reached over and squeezed my hand, and a sizzle seemed to course up my arm then straight down to my balls. And holy fuck, what was that?

"We can just be friends, okay?" she offered. "I like you, but I don't want to rush you into anything."

She liked me.

"You know, Brennan gave me a pep talk before he went."

Her grin seemed so bright astronauts could see it from space. "Did he?"

"Yeah, he informed me it's time to start moving forward. And look, I… I don't know how to explain it. From that very first day when you came over to introduce yourself, I've felt something for you. A draw to you that I…" I shrugged. "I don't know how to explain it or… if I'm ready for it."

"You feel guilty." Again, not a question.

"You wouldn't understand."

"Wouldn't I?"

"No! I'm here living my life and maybe starting to fall for you. So fast. So fucking fast. We've never even had a date. And she's dead. Murdered. And I haven't been able to do a fucking thing about it. I haven't given her closure. How can I move on? How dare I?"

Jesus. Now, Vale would think I was a basket case and run as far and fast from me as she could. Fuck.

"I'm sorry," I added. "I shouldn't dump that on you. That's not how I am."

Rather than running, even metaphorically, Vale tipped her head to the side to study me. "Let me guess… You haven't talked to anyone about this? About your feelings?"

"Believe it or not, talking's not really my thing."

Her lips quirked, and I could tell she wasn't surprised at all. "Do you think she'd want you to be alone for the rest of your life?"

"No. You know, Brennan said that, too." I sighed, taking a beat to redirect myself. "Vale, I don't want to be friends."

"Oh…" Her disappointment rang clearly through that little exhale after my clunky declaration. I couldn't let it stand.

My head shook. "I… If you can deal with me, I'd like… I want to see if there's something between us here. If what I'm feeling is real. If what I'm sensing from you is real. But I want to—I need to—go slow."

Vale's smile pushed away the shadows, letting me glimpse clear skies for the first time in years and melting more of the ice that had encased me for so long. "I can do slow. I'd like that, Day. I'd like to see where this goes, too."

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