Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

MIKE

I lower my voice, leaning over the laptop to get closer to the mic. Vanessa, my ex-wife, looks at me from her sunny, airy kitchen. She's got her hair in rollers as she slices some fruit. She's got a look on her face that instantly puts me on edge. It's like she's waiting to panic. I told her that once— "It's like you're waiting for a catastrophe that'll never come" —but it didn't go well.

"It's just a trip with a family friend," I say.

She tsk-tsks, shaking her head. "You still should've told me."

"Ness, you know she's nineteen, right?"

"Please, don't call me that."

I roll my eyes. "Vanessa, she's nineteen . She's free to go wherever she wants."

"She'll always be my little girl, and where are you, Maine? In some cabin? Doing what? Just sitting around the place?"

"Relaxing, enjoying the scenery."

"I just wish you'd told me?—"

"That's what this call is for," I cut in.

"In advance ," she goes on.

"It was a sort of last-minute decision, a spur-of-the-moment thing."

Vanessa frowns at the camera, leaving me no guesses about her feelings. She was never a spur-of-the-moment kind of person.

"You said that Jacob is there?"

"Yep."

"Just the three of you?"

"Yes."

"Is that appropriate?"

It takes me a second to work out what she's hinting at. She stopped chopping and moved the laptop so she could grimace into the camera. Grimacing was always her specialty. I can tell she's just looking for a reason to be pissed.

"Oh, come on , Ne… Vanessa."

"What? It's a fair question. I'm not sure how I feel about my daughter being thrown into the arms of that iceman."

"Please tell me you're joking," I say, trying to keep a smile on my face even if, deep inside, a drum is beating, howling, screaming, but that's nothing new. It always is. It started in the war and never stopped. I try not to let it show and try not to feel it.

Vanessa cracks, rolling her eyes. "Okay, fine. Yes, you're right. That was petty, but… but… you should've told me."

She would've wanted an itinerary several weeks in advance, with minute-by-minute breakdowns of where we'd be and at what times. She's finding it difficult to accept that Emma is getting older, her control waning.

"I'll give you more notice next time," I tell her. "Just try not to panic over nothing so much."

As soon as I say the second part, I know I've made a mistake. She leans close to the camera, an eyebrow shooting straight up. Panic is one of her trigger words. I've started countless arguments with it.

"I'm sorry," I quickly say. "I know you hate that word."

"Don't make me out to be some crazy lady, please ."

"I honestly wasn't thinking," I tell her.

"Well, think next time."

I suppress the countless replies I could throw in her direction, all the vicious things I could say if I had the motivation to, if I felt like being cruel for the sake of it. But all of that is long, long behind us.

I just smile. "I'll think next time. Don't worry."

"How are things, anyway?" Vanessa says. "Are you doing okay at work?"

This time, it's more of a smirk than a smile. "You don't have to make small talk."

She always looked down on me for leaving the military and becoming an accountant. Many people did. Not Jacob, never him, but I could see it in people's eyes. Most wives would be relieved, I'd thought, but not Vanessa. Sometimes, she looked at me like she wished I'd die over there. It was—it is—messed up and one reason we're no longer together. Hell, I never wanted Emma to grow up without a solid parental unit. However, when the choice was between tearing each other apart or splitting with some small kindness left, I chose the latter. I hope and pray I made the right choice.

"I guess we'll say goodbye, then," Vanessa says.

"How's Xavier?"

She frowns. "Don't start that."

"Start what?"

"I've told you I'd prefer if you didn't ask about my husband."

"God forbid I'm curious about my daughter's stepfather."

She rolls her eyes. "Are you done?"

I turn off the video call before we get into a fight. Pacing to the window, I look at the snowy landscape, thinking of the monsters out there. They're going to try to hurt my baby and me, but I'd never let that happen. If they come for us, Jacob and I will fight like we have before.