Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

EMMA

N o way!

I go to the front window when I hear the car pull up. I've heard the growl of that engine before. It sounds like Jacob's pickup truck. I would know that sound anywhere, the purr that always makes my body ache. I haven't seen him since that crazy closeness at the graduation party.

Even now, the night is too dark. One of our streetlamps is broken, meaning I can only see the vague shape of the vehicle. It could be my man. No, not my man . If I've got a man, he wouldn't have left me covered in his come, on my knees, wondering how he felt. Or if he even felt anything .

Finally, a figure climbs from the car. Despite trying to tame myself, a sensation like a burst of starlight pulses through me. There's no doubting this feeling, the reminder of the steaminess when I tried to give him what he wanted. I tried to give myself to him completely, but it was all so fast. I kept thinking about the party and Dad catching us. But being naked with my man… Isn't that what I wanted?

It's him. It's Jacob. He walks with his usual angry posture toward the house, his shoulders broad. He doesn't knock. I hear the click of the door. Creeping to my bedroom door, I push my ear against it, hearing Dad's voice raised.

"Why are we being so secretive?" Dad asks.

Jacob's voice comes back gruffer, lower. "It's best if we don't tell Emma the truth."

My heart starts pounding so hard, but that's nothing new where Jacob is concerned. Whenever I think about him or Dad says his name in passing, my body responds with annoying intensity. It's been half a year. That steam in the grubby storage room feels like a lifetime ago, but I can't seem to forget it or let it go. Now he's back, and the first thing he wants to do is lie to me. About what?

I don't hear anything else. They either lower their voices or go into a different room. Maybe I should sneak down the stairs and listen. It's not fair for them to lie to me, though I can't possibly think what they could lie to me about.

By the time I decide to sneak downstairs, it's too late. I can hear the stairs creaking with Dad's footsteps. I'm sure it's Dad and not Jacob because Jacob would make more noise. He's so big, clothed in hard muscle. I need to stop putting that man on a pedestal. He left me like I was nothing to him.

It was for the best, right? For Dad?

Dad knocks on the door. "Emma, are you awake?"

"Yeah," I say, swiveling in my computer chair. "You can come in."

Dad walks into the room and sits on the edge of the bed, gripping his hands together and looking at me with a frown. Then he forces a smile onto his face. He's never been very good at lying to me. That's a one-way street since I've lied to him about my crush for as long as I can remember.

With his phony smile, he says, "I was thinking we should take a trip."

"A trip? Why?"

"Why not?" he grins, upbeat and artificial. It's best if we don't tell Emma the truth.

"Okay, but why?" I ask. "This seems random."

"Jacob has a place in Maine," Dad says. "Thought it might be nice to see some snow. It's like a winter wonderland there. What do you think? You said you've wanted to do more with your year than work at the restaurant and paint."

That's true. I did say that. I've taken a year off after high school to earn some money and figure out what I want to do with my life.

I try to get myself to tell Dad I heard what he and Jacob were talking about. I know this is all part of a big lie. Dad has always tried so hard, especially after the divorce. That's the reason I stay here so often. He never wanted us to drift apart just because he and Mom did.

There's something else, too, in the tightness of his mouth and his pleading eyes. It's like he's desperate for me to buy the lie. It's like he's trying to protect me from something. I wonder if it has anything to do with his or Jacob's work.

"A winter wonderland?" I say with a smile.

Because what right do I really have to criticize my father for withholding the truth? What right do I have to question his explanations, excuses, and secrets after what I've done?

Or maybe I relish the idea of being in a snowy cabin with Jacob. However, that's pretty stupid because he didn't treat me respectfully last time. It was a two-way street that got me steamy as hell at the moment. Yet afterward, kneeling there with his come sliding down my throat, staring at his back, I felt so cheap, so down about myself. It's how I deserved to feel after what I did, but it still hurt.

"That sounds great, Dad."

He smiles, relieved that I've bought this frankly absurd lie, relieved I'm not going to question it. I can see it in his eyes. He doesn't want to lie to me. He's too good for that. I wish I could say the same about myself.

"When do we leave?" I ask.

The smile falters. "I was thinking we could get going tonight."

Tonight? This is just transparently ridiculous at this point. He has to know I'll find this suspicious, but he's got that same hopeful look on his face. If this had happened before the kiss and touching, I would've demanded to know what was happening. Instead, I nod and force a smile. I can tell he knows I've got questions, but I'm choosing to push them down for now.

"I better get packing, then."