Chapter 27

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

JACOB

M ike lights a cigarette and walks up to the kitchen window beside me. I'm washing my hands, splashing my face. The rooms reek of death. It's hard to believe this is the same living space where Emma and I shared so much warmth. The same table she laid the coffee on. We watched a movie in the seating area just over there. Now, it's a crime scene.

"One of them had a pack." Mike takes a long drag. "You don't mind?"

"I'll be burning this place now anyway," I tell him.

"Did you call someone?" he asks.

"Cleanup crew. They'll take the bodies. Then I'll burn the property. We'll leave and pretend this never happened. This was a solo mission for Rafael. Nobody's coming to avenge him. We can go back to normal life."

Mike leans against the counter, taking another drag. He's looking right at the bodies.

"I didn't know men our age could move that fast. When Rafael was bleeding out, you said you did it for your lady, for Emma."

I swallow. "He was threatening her in Spanish. I risked all our lives, Mike—you, Angelica, my mother, and me. All of us, because, let's face it, what are the chances I pulled that off?"

"I'm not even sure what you did," Mike says, still staring at the bodies.

I touch his shoulder and pull him around so he's facing me. "Look out there instead," I say, nodding to the darkness.

"I dropped to the floor and then drove my chair backward. That stunned the first one, letting me grab his gun barrel and drive it into his face. Then I shot the other rifleman through the table, and finally, I hit Rafael. They were both stunned. It cost them their lives."

"Nothing could've stopped you," Mike says, "because he threatened Emma."

"Nobody has the right to do that," I snap. " Nobody. Mike… I didn't mean for you to find out like that."

He takes a long drag, then flicks it into the sink, shaking his head. "Let's never speak of that again. That never happened. I know now; that's all there is to it. Not how I found out."

"I'm fine with that," I tell him.

"What the hell happened?" he snaps as if his paternal instinct is pushing through his sense of horror. " How did this happen?"

"It started on the night of her graduation party. We kissed, and we were, ah, intimate at the party. After that, I hated myself."

"Is that why you've been on the warpath for the past six months?" Mike says. "Is this why you've been dodging my calls? Is this why you've been trying to get yourself killed?"

"Honestly, I thought it would be for the best. If some Cartel goon took me out, at least I wouldn't have to live with the guilt of what I did, but then Rafael threatened you and Emma—both of you, my friend, my lady." My voice trembles. For a terrifying second, I think a tear might be forming. "We got close again here," I go on. "She's changing me, Mike. She's already changed me. Before meeting her, I thought I was cold and would stay cold, but I can't anymore. I want a life. I want a future. I want a family."

Mike flinches. I glance at the tablet, cycling through the cameras. Neither of us has mentioned that Mike messed up with the surveillance. I hope he never says anything about it. After everything that happened, he deserves just to let that go.

"You want children with her?" Mike asks.

"We haven't talked about that," I reply, "but I want a future with her. I can't lie. Not now that you already know. I want a life with her, but you've got every right to pick up one of those guns."

"Don't say that," he snaps.

"You had a reason for hitting me," I tell him. "I don't blame you. Just know that I never planned this. I never wanted this to happen. When I saw her at the party, it was like she was somebody else, not your daughter anymore. It was like I was somebody else. Right then…" I run a hand through my hair, feeling stickiness. "I don't know what I'm saying."

"You've been through a lot tonight," Mike says. "Even for a man like you."

"She changed me the moment I saw her," I tell him. "I felt like a different man, connected to her right away. Jesus, Mike…" I clap my hand on his arm and then fold my emotions and body. I pull him into a hug as tears slide down my cheeks. I cough them away, hugging him tight. "I'm so sorry."

"You're sorry because you regret being with her or because you hurt me?"

"Because I hurt you," I say honestly, relieved when he claps me on the back.

I lean away, rubbing my face. He notices the tears with a widening of his eyes, but he doesn't say anything about them. I'm grateful for that. He sighs and leans against the counter.

"The thing is… I know what sort of person you are, Jacob. I've always known. You're a solid guy. You always have been. Hell, it's not like I can get mad about the age thing, right? I know how sure I am and how sure Angelica is. Sometimes, age really is just a number."

"I don't want you to make any decisions right now," I tell him. "Your adrenaline is pumping. I just risked your damn life."

"You saved my life."

"Even more reason to think about this," I tell him. "You're liable to let me get away with much more than you normally would."

"But it's the truth," Mike says fiercely. "Who else is going to protect Emma like you? Look out for her? I know you. You're going to support her in whatever she chooses. Or am I wrong? Would you try to drag her down, belittle her, hold her back?"

"I'd never do that," I snap. "I want us to grow together. I want us to be committed and loyal and make it work in the long term. You were the only thing stopping me from thinking like this. When I was trying to…" I sigh darkly. "During those six months, all I could think about was you punching me in the face. I'm almost glad you did."

"You owed me at least one," Mike says, grimly laughing. "I was in the house. "

"I know. Mike. I'm so sorry. I need to be better, but she means so much to me."

She's downright addictive to me, too. Everything from the way she moves, the subtle shifts in her hips, the narrowing of her eyes as she leans toward the canvas, her voice, her breath, her heat. I wish I were with her now, just her, holding her against the darkness and the pain.

"I understand," Mike says, "and honestly—don't tell Vanessa this—but I'm happy for you."

" Happy for me?" I reply, glancing at the cameras and seeing a car pull up the road. Its lights flicker on and off in a pattern, telling me it's the cleanup crew. "Really?"

"Happy because you're happy… as long as Emma feels the same, which I think she does. She was dropping some hints when I was talking to her about Angelica. She's not very good at hiding her feelings."

"No," I say, thinking of her vivacious spirit, quick smiles, and laughter that comes like a gift. "You're right."

"As long as you're never going to break her heart," Mike says fiercely. "I know it may not seem like much coming from me, but break her heart, and there'll be a problem."

"Never," I growl. "I want the best for her always, only the best. I want her to be happy. To feel… loved."

That's what this is. The emotion I could never acknowledge until I was certain Mike would be okay with us —love . I repeat it in my mind over and over, then remind myself to be hardened. For the next few hours, I need to focus on the work, nothing else.

"I meant what I said," I tell Mike. "Think about this. You don't have to make any decisions tonight."