Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

JACOB

I put my whole body into each motion of the shovel, carving the snow, tossing it aside, and making a path between the cabin and the car. Then I start clearing around the car, enjoying the sweat stinging against my skin and my body's exertion. At least it gives me something to distract myself from what I've done and what I'm still doing—lying.

I'm lying to Mike about his daughter, to Emma about her dad, and to Emma about something else, too. Before I came here, I was in ready-to-die mode. I didn't know how badly I'd want to spend the rest of my life with Emma. I didn't realize how badly I'd need to own her—every inch. No, that's crap. I knew. I just didn't want to believe it.

Two lies. Two . One is for Mike, but I can't tolerate the other one. Tossing the shovel down, I return to the cabin to find Emma sitting at the window, painting. There's an outline of me and the car. She's made me imposing, looming over the car. She turns, wearing a shirt, sleeves up, flecks of yellow paint on her wrist.

"What is it?" she says, her face dropping. "It's not Dad, is it? I just spoke to him. He wouldn't tell me why he was in Little Hope, either. I've never known him to be this mysterious, Jacob. Stop looking at me like that."

I sit on the chair, Rusty at my side, rubbing my hands together. "Emma, I lied to you."

In my mind, I hear Mike on the phone earlier today. "Please, you got to understand, but she won't. Emma will freak out. I don't know how this happened to me."

"You remember what I told you. You remember the plan. It's not safe."

"I can take care of myself. Just take care of my daughter."

As if I'd ever do anything else regarding my Emma…

Now Emma stares at me. It's taking everything I have not to maul her again. The sunlight is helping there, melting the snow and melting my certainty. Last night, trapped, it was so much easier.

"Jacob?" she snaps.

"Rafael tried to put a tracker on my car. I removed it. Five miles to the west, there's a trap set up for any bastard who tries to hurt you. It means danger's closer than I told you." I swallow, a lump in my throat. Should I tell her about Mike? It's not my place. Dammit, why did he have to tell me ?

"Is that it?" she asks.

"Isn't that enough?" I say gruffly.

She stands and walks around the table. At first, I think she's not wearing bottoms, but she has shorts on underneath the baggy shirt. Then I realize.

"Is that mine?" I say, gesturing to her shirt.

"Do you mind?"

I grab her hips when she's close and pull her into my lap. She wraps her arms around me. "I know you'll do the best for us," she says. "If you think a trap is the right thing to do, then it is. You've been doing this for a long, long time. You're still here for a reason. Hell, even when you tried to… you still made it back."

"I made it back for you," I tell her, gliding my hand up her leg. "Are you trying to drive me wild, dressing like this?"

I lean in and kiss her, greedily massaging her voluptuous thigh, but then her cell phone starts to ring. She glances at the table with a terrified expression captured in the sunlight before she corrects it. She forcibly wipes it from her face, but I saw it. The outside world is back.

"It's Mom," she says, reaching over and picking it up. "I should probably answer."

"It's fine," I grunt. "I need to get back to work anyway."

She stands, taking her gorgeous legs with her as she answers the phone. Even when she says, "Hey, Mom," the savage part of me is still staring at her thick legs, her ass shaped by the shirt. She leaves the room, and I go outside again.

She trusts me, clearly. She believes me when I say I'm going to keep her safe. She's been calm throughout this, showing me more fear of her dad's reaction than any Cartel killer or creep sadist. As I start shoveling snow again, my thoughts return to last night, the sex Emma and I had, the closeness of melting into each other, with nothing between us.

She's said nothing about the lack of a condom. Neither have I, but I remember how she felt, how her tight pussy wrapped around my naked dick. She took every inch: nothing between us, just our bodies and the future. What future, though? Where do I think we're going to go, exactly?

Once I've cleared the vehicle, I go back inside. Emma is painting, talking on loudspeaker. "I'm not sure exactly," she's saying. "Somewhere in Maine."

"You don't know? " a woman says, laughing, presumably one of Emma's friends.

"All I know is it's snowy and beautiful, and there's lots to paint."

Emma turns, offers me a small smile, then gestures to the table. She's the best. There's another mug of steaming coffee. I sit at the table, drinking it, feeling a domestic sort of peace wash over me. I know it'll be time for fighting again soon, but now, I feel I'm right where I belong.

However, soon, I'll have to make a choice. I sit at the table for a long time, long after I've finished my coffee, almost willing the tablet to make an alert noise. That will tell me it's time to go out to the decoy and that they've walked right into my trap. After that, I'll have to be dark again and be the animal this world has forced me to become. This time, I'll be even more fierce. My family has never been on the line before.

I stand, pushing my chair back, causing Rusty to bark at me. What am I thinking, my family? What family? I once thought of Mike as a brother, but I can't do that now, not after what we did.

"Is everything okay?" Emma comes running into the living room.

I've been so lost in thought that I didn't even realize she'd left the room. I've been sitting here for—I check the clock—over an hour, trying to convince myself this can somehow work, trying to convince myself I'm not completely evil for what I did and what I still want to do.

"Fine," I tell her.

"Why is Rusty barking?"

"I think I startled him," I say. "I got lost in thought."

"In thought," she murmurs, looking at me pointedly.

"About us," I tell her. "About how this ends."

"How does it end?"

She walks toward me but stops a few feet away, almost like she thinks I'll reject her. I can't stop myself from closing the distance between us, wrapping my arms around and holding her close. She clings to me, resting her cheek against my chest as if this is about to end.

"I don't know," I tell her. "That's what's driving me nuts. Usually, I know, or I have a pretty good idea. Enough to formulate a plan, but I can't see the eventualities with us. I can't guess where this is going to end. I want to so badly, but I just can't. Any time I think of telling Mike, it ends badly."

"Yeah," she sighs, not taking her face from my chest. I have to listen closely, and I can feel her warm breath through the fabric of my shirt. "When I talked to Mom earlier, I tried to think of that. What it would be like if everybody knew."

"It's hard," I say.

"Yeah. It was easier when we were trapped."

I kiss the top of her head, moving my hand down her arm and taking her hand. She looks up at me with glistening eyes as if she's ready to cry to release some tension and uncertainty. I wonder how she'd react if I told her about Mike. Dammit, I hate lying to her, but I can't betray Mike again .

"Then maybe we should do what you said," she murmurs. "We'll figure out what to do when this is all over. When we're safe."

"You're always going to be safe," I say, and then my tablet blares an alarm from the counter. I take a step away from Emma. My instincts run cold. I feel my heartbeat slowing down. My focus hones down to a fine point. "You need to do exactly as I say."

Emma looks up at me, eyes wide, sensing the change in me. She knows the difference between the romantic Jacob and the Jacob who's ready to kill. It's an insane thought, but I feel like Emma knows me better than anybody.

"There's a safe room at the rear of the property," I tell her. "I'll take you there. You'll need to wait there with Rusty until I come back. If I don't?—"

"Jacob."

"If I don't," I growl, "somebody will collect you in twenty-four hours. You'll have enough supplies, but don't worry." I melt again, filling with fire. It's so difficult to stay cold when I'm close to her. "I won't let anything keep me away from you. Ever. I refuse to let that happen."

She pulls herself against me one last time before I have to leave her, and we kiss. It's deep. It's passionate. We're trapped in the kiss until my tablet gives another alert. It's time to go to work.