34.
Alex
" I think we broke up."
"Tell me everything." Beatrice sets down her popcorn. Her date, North, stares at me.
"Should I leave?" North asks nervously, wringing her hands. Out of all of the people Beatrice has brought home lately, North is the one I like the most. She's quiet, she's kind, and she's compassionate. She also spends a lot of time listening. She thinks about other people. She's great.
"Sorry, baby. That's probably for the best." Beatrice kisses her gently and walks her to the door. She whispers goodnight before turning around, closing the door, and locking it. "Dish."
"I'm sorry for ruining your date."
"It's fine. Start talking, though. Otherwise, I'll call Ryan. You know I'll make good on this threat really easily."
Yeah, I know.
Because Beatrice is the kind of person who doesn't hold back. She's the kind of person I wish I could be. Although, to be fair, I didn't really hold back tonight with Ryan. I kind of gave him a piece of my mind. If he had known about his dad's adoption scheme, why hadn't he told me sooner? If he had, I could have been hugging my brother instead of realizing I'm only starting my journey to discover him.
Where the hell has Aaron gone?
What's his name now?
And why hasn't he reached out to me?
I don't believe Aaron is dead, but I think there's a reason he's stayed away all of these years. Maybe he thought he was protecting me. Maybe he thought that the world was messy enough without us trying to reunite. Hell, maybe Aaron just thought that together, we make a horrible team. I don't know.
I need to find him, and I need to see him, and then if he wants to go no-contact, I'll respect it.
But I need the closure, and Ryan...
Ryan's been lying to me.
"He's been keeping secrets," I say.
"Billionaires have lots of secrets, kid. You're going to have to do better than that." Her words aren't unkind, and Beatrice looks at me with sympathy. Maybe it's pity. I don't think so, though.
"This is different."
"How? Because it's about your brother? Kind of sounds like Ryan didn't know, Alex. It sounds like he was caught off guard by this, too."
"That's not very fair."
"Isn't it? Billionaire meets girl, they fall in love, he discovers his dad did something horrible, he doesn't tell her right away. Is that really the worst thing in the world? Because I've got to tell you, it's not sounding like the worst thing in the world."
"He lied to me," I say.
"Taking a few days to sort out your issues isn't the same as lying," she offers. "Did you think about that? I mean, there were lots of things about you that you didn't tell me right away."
I hate that she's right.
I hate that she's sort of making sense.
"But he hurt me," I whisper.
"And he'll do it again. That's what love is, Alex. It's hurting the person and making amends. It's trying to do better, and then actually doing better. Love is about giving, it's about taking, and it's about believing in a better future than you could have possibly imagined."
"How'd you manage to get this smart?"
"Years of practice," she grins. "You going to go talk to him?"
"I'm not ready," I admit. I want time to stew. I want time to feel angry, to complain. Before I overthink that, though, there's a knock at the door. "Sounds like North is back."
"She's not," Beatrice says.
"Is it Ryan?"
"Probably."
"Did you tell him I was here?"
"Absolutely, I did," Beatrice grins. She holds up her phone. I didn't even notice her texting while I was bitching. Still, I don't know how I feel about facing Ryan so soon. It doesn't matter how I feel, though, because Beatrice glides past me, unlocks the door, and opens it. Ryan ignores her, bursts in, and hurries to me.
"I'm so sorry, Alex. I should have told you everything as soon as I found out. I was still processing. I was still figuring it out."
Because he's human.
Because we both are.
I look at Ryan, and I see so much there in his eyes. I see guilt, and I see pain, and I see the terror of a kid who was once ripped away from his own family and sent off to boarding school. He was just a kid. He still had so much growing and learning to do.
"I shouldn't have left so quickly. I should have given you a chance," I admit. It's hard to say this.
"Give me another chance," he says, stepping closer. He reaches for me. I allow myself to be swept into his arms. I allow him to kiss me like he means it. Right now, I've never known anything as deeply as I've known that Ryan cares for me.
There are so many moments in my life where I've felt alone and lost. I've had to face the world on my own for the longest damn time. Right now, I know that I don't have to do that because I'm with him.
I'm with Ryan.
"I'm going to love you," he says quietly, whispering in my ear. I don't even care that Beatrice is here watching this most intimate of moments. She's probably eating popcorn. I don't know. "And I'm going to help you find Aaron," he says.
"It's been years. It might be too late."
"It's never too late," Ryan promises, and for some strange reason, I believe him.