24.

Ryan

"I'M SORRY," I SAY WHEN I realize what's happened. It was reckless. Careless. It was a mistake I've never made before. She's making me lose my damn mind. That's what's happening.

"It's okay," Alex says. She doesn't seem upset.

"I know you're on birth control, and I get tested regularly," I tell her.

"It's really okay," she says. "I'm sure we're fine."

"How can you be so casual about this?" I ask. "I would be freaking out if I thought my boss impregnated me."

"I don't think you've impregnated me," she says. Alex laughs and leans back on the couch. We're in my living room. She's sitting and I'm pacing maddeningly back-and-forth in front of her. "Seriously, Ryan. It's fine. Sit." She pats the space next to her, but I shake my head.

"We need food. We'll order something." I pull my phone out of my pocket, but she's on her feet with her arms around me before I can Door Dash anything.

"Chill," she says.

"I'm chill. I'm just going to get us some food."

She cocks her head, looking up at me. "You have a kitchen?"

"Yeah."

"You have groceries?"

"Some."

"Come on." Alex takes my hand and tugs. "Let's go cook something."

"Cook something?"

"Why not?"

"I guess I've just never cooked with anyone before."

"Seriously?" Alex laughs. "Poor little rich boy problems, huh? I'm teasing! Come on. Let's go make you something. I could go for grilled cheese. I guarantee you've got bread and cheese. It's impossible to mess that up, so let's go cook."

Twenty minutes and four grilled cheese sandwiches later, Alex and I are in the kitchen sitting side-by-side at my counter. She's digging into her food, but I barely touch mine.

"What's wrong? Is it okay?" Alex did most of the cooking.

"It's fine," I tell her. "How are you like this?"

"Like what?"

"So comfortable." So normal. "Anytime I've had someone over before, things are weird."

"You probably date girls with money and standards," she says. Alex shrugs. "I have neither."

"You don't have standards and that's why you're with me? Oof. That one hurts a little."

"Not like that!" Alex laughs again. I really could get used to her laughing. She can keep doing it again and again. I'll never get tired of it.

"It's like this," she says. "I just don't really see you for your money. I realize that sounds cliche."

"It does."

"I work for you. I have the money I need now."

"The money you need?"

She flushes, and I realize I don't actually know why Alex came to work for me. Apparently, being my executive assistant isn't her ultimate dream job, but I don't know what is. There's a lot I don't know about her. She's gorgeous and funny and sweet. Have I been playing into the pompous billionaire stereotype by just taking her for granted? I've asked her before about why she wanted this job, but even then, she was elusive.

Tonight she tells me the truth.

"I want to be a teacher. That's what I went to grad school for."

"You've got a lot of work experience," I say. "If I remember from your resume, it didn't include teaching."

"Most of my jobs have been office jobs," she admits. "My last one was in conjunction with my degree. It was a work study situation. I taught classes and worked in the front office. As a result, I graduated with less student loan debt than I otherwise would have."

"Less?"

"Notice I didn't say without," she says. "Graduate school is expensive, as it turns out."

"And what? You just decided not to teach?"

"Getting a job is hard." Alex shrugs, but I want to push her. I want to know more.

"There are tons of teaching jobs available throughout the country, Alex."

"I want to stay local."

"Why?"

She looks at me, and I realize that she's got something she hasn't told me. Maybe she hasn't told anyone ever. Alex is the kind of girl with secrets, and I respect that. I have plenty of my own, but I'd like to know what she's hiding.

I'd like to know why.

"We all have our reasons," she says, and I know that's all I'm getting out of her for now.