Chapter 9

Chapter

Nine

The streamthat emptied into the ocean wasn't too far from where the men repacked the parachutes and left them on the beach to pick up after their hike. They walked along the stream and as the sand turned to harder ground covered with leaves and pine needles, Jagger stopped and retrieved a backpack waiting on the side of the trail.

"Drinks and snacks for our hike," he explained. "Is anyone thirsty?"

"My mouth is a little dry from screaming," Darcy admitted.

All of the men had been so kind to her, but she kept replaying over and over again in her mind how it had felt to have Nick rescue her in the air and then to be wrapped around his strong body with his warm hands and arms pressing her even closer. It had been torture to release him. She shouldn't have admitted she'd sky dive again if he was with her. Would he want to? She doubted she'd see him again after this week and she was the one to tell him last night that her focus was her children.

Jagger handed out water bottles. They all took drinks, then held onto them as they walked. The hike was only a gradual incline. No one said much as they progressed through the lush jungle in single file. Darcy focused on the beauty of the thick trees, undergrowth, and wildflowers, birds twittering around.

A stream trickled past them on their right. Vines hung down around it from the huge trees. She'd been to a lot of tropical places and was always amazed at the lush vegetation and natural beauty.

Jagger led the way, with Darcy directly behind him. Darcy appreciated the opportunity to be in nature and move her legs. It helped calm her anxiety. She thought she could enjoy skydiving someday with Nick. Today hadn't been fun. Too stressful, and the pressure and pounding had been unexpected and uncomfortable.

Nick walked behind her. She glanced over her shoulder, and he gave her a reassuring smile. Darcy smiled back.

How could he make her feel so special when she'd never been special to even her own husband?

The water in the stream flowed faster. The rushing of water plummeting a fair distance reached them, and Darcy's anticipation grew. She'd love to see a beautiful waterfall.

Jagger glanced over his shoulder at her. "Do you like to swim in waterfalls?"

"I'm horrible at swimming," she reminded him.

"I can hold you up." Nick's hand rested on her back. She glanced back and up, getting lost in his irresistible deep-brown eyes.

"Would you?" she asked.

"It would be my honor," he said softly.

It was as if her turning him away last night hadn't even happened.

Jagger let out a soft guffaw that they both chose to ignore. Darcy wondered if any woman could penetrate Jagger's hardened heart. If a woman did, though, at least she'd know she was special. Darcy had never been special to anyone, except her grandpa who had left her for heaven when she was eight.

Nick kept his hand on her lower back as they grew closer to the pounding water. Could she possibly be special to him? She didn't dare let herself hope. He was enchanting, and the disappointment of him rejecting her would take her under. She couldn't let him any deeper into her heart.

They crossed through thick trees and entered a small clearing.

She stared up at the cascade of clear water dancing over mossy rocks. It was beautiful as it pranced from one boulder to the next before doing a freefall descent forty feet to a wide pool beneath. The water from the pool overflowed, tumbling over more large boulders and down the stream they'd been walking next to.

Jagger slid off the backpack, his shirt, socks, and shoes, and immediately started climbing the boulders next to the waterfall. "You guys coming?"

"Sure," Hays answered, setting down his water bottle next to the backpack, taking off his shirt, socks, and shoes, and following Jagger.

Nick looked at her. "What do you think?"

"Cliff jumping?" She looked up at the big, scary cliff and down at the pool of water. Her stomach hopped just thinking about it. "I'll watch you all jump."

"You're certain? I can jump first and help you swim when you land."

"I'm happy to watch you do it," she insisted.

"Okay."

Nick pulled off his T-shirt. Darcy gaped at his defined chest. Yesterday they'd been in wetsuits and she hadn't been able to study the lean muscles. It was intriguing the way his chest muscles were sculpted and protruded slightly but his abdomen muscles were indented, almost as concave as her chest. She smiled to herself at the silly analogy. She fully appreciated the broad curve of his shoulders, bumps on his biceps and striations on his triceps. The medallion hung between his chest muscles. It was a family crest of some sort. She wanted to ask him about it. When they were alone. Maybe tonight? She hadn't worn her locket again, not sure what the day would bring. She didn't like being without it.

"You can stare for a while," Nick teased. "I don't mind."

"Oh my. Go jump off a cliff." She shoved at his warm arm and grinned to show she was teasing.

Nick gave her a knowing and intimate smile. It warmed her much more than the tropical sun.

He untied and slid off his shoes and socks, then followed Jagger and Hays. They all went up the precarious climb—over boulders at first, then clinging to roots and rocky outcroppings to maneuver far higher than she was comfortable with. Maybe forty or fifty feet? She wasn't a great judge of height, but she did know she wouldn't make that climb, or jump, any time in her life.

Darcy sat down on a smooth rock to watch the men.

Nick ascended like a mountain goat. The striations in his back and arms made her mouth dry. She took the last drink from her water bottle, crumpled it, and put it in a side pocket of the backpack.

How could she stay impervious to Nick when he was so appealing? She almost wished she was the type who could just have a fling, flirt and kiss and move on. As damaged and alone as she was, she didn't know how to do anything like that. It would wreak havoc on her already unstable emotions.

She missed her little ones. They were safe, loving, and they needed her. Her arms felt empty and her heart heavy. She reached for her locket, forgetting again she'd left it on the dresser.

Just a couple more days and she could get back to Tecate. She loved to visit and help improve all of her homes, but the original home in Tecate had her heart—it housed Samuel, Izzy, Missy, and many other children she considered her own.

Jagger reached a rock that jutted out. He climbed onto it and scooted to the edge. Nick and Hays paused in their climbing to watch.

"Are you sure the pool is deep enough?" Darcy yelled up at him. Nerves assaulted her simply watching the large man hover on that precarious ledge.

Jagger gave her a devil-may-care grin. "Yes, Mom. Shawn checked it out for us."

Darcy stuck out her tongue at him. She was a mom dozens of times over. She loved her little ones but still longed for Avalyn. She would never be a ‘birth mother' again. Unless she could let her guard down.

She focused on Nick as he perched on a rock with his feet, holding onto a root with his hands, all the muscles in his arms and back engaging. If only he were the trustworthy type.

Yet what had Nick done to make her doubt him? He'd said a few things that indicated he just wanted a fling, and she feared he was hiding something. Maybe she needed to ask him outright. Did she dare? Could she trust he was telling her the truth or just what she wanted to hear?

Jagger pushed off, arched, and dove smoothly into the pool below.

He surfaced, and she clapped, relieved he was okay.

"Seven point five," she rated his dive.

"What?" Jagger protested. "I deserve a ten. I'll do a better trick next time." He swam with sure strokes to the edge and then scrambled up the boulders again for another go.

"I thought seven point five was generous," she said.

He grunted at her.

Darcy really did feel like Jagger and Hays were brothers to her. They could tease, not say the right thing and not care, be there for each other, and care when it mattered.

Nick. He was protective of her, and she was enthralled with him. No brotherly feelings for that man, but she didn't know that she could fully trust him. Because he was a flirtatious charmer, or was he hiding something from her?

Hays was at the ledge now. He turned backward, perched on the edge, pushed off and arched backward. His back dive was impressive, and he hardly splashed as he went into the water.

When he surfaced, she clapped and let out a wolf whistle. "Wow. That was an eight point five for sure."

"Thank you." Hays punched a fist in the air. "Fourteen years and I finally beat you at something," he called to Jagger.

"Not for long." Jagger moved quicker up the side of the waterfall.

Nick was at the rocky platform now.

"What have you got?" Jagger asked Nick from twenty feet below.

"Not much but my pride," Nick admitted, grinning and looking like Adonis.

"You can flex for me. That'll up your score for sure," Darcy called to him. Maybe she shouldn't encourage the flirting, but it was fun. Until her heart got broken when he walked away on Friday and never looked back.

Nick chuckled as the other two groaned. He leaned forward slightly and flexed his arms and chest.

Darcy cheered and let out a wolf-whistle. "A ten!"

Nick threw back his head and laughed.

"That's pathetic and unfair," Jagger protested.

"He hasn't even dove," Hays said, laughter in his voice.

She loved how easy-going Hays was and how riled Jagger got.

"Okay. To secure my ten." Nick tilted up his chin to her and then lifted his arms and flexed again.

She cheered louder.

Then he stepped to the edge, launched himself into the air and flipped backward, his head rotating in the direction of the cliff. A gainer, very impressive and difficult. He rotated all the way around but was leaning left. His left side, arm, and shoulder hit the water first with a terrific splash.

Darcy jumped to her feet. He surfaced, and she cried out, "Are you okay?"

"I am man enough to admit … ouch," he groaned. "That stung."

Jagger laughed loudly.

"Bully," Darcy flung up at him.

"He's fine. He's a Marine and Captain Aiden Porter's top security specialist." Jagger's voice was mocking, but Darcy knew his taunts were just part of who he was.

"That's right." Nick swam to the edge of the pool and climbed out. His left side was red, but he was smiling. She noticed some bruising on his abdomen and arms she hadn't focused on before.

"I'm fine," Nick told her. "I'm assuming my horrible entry pulled my perfect score down?"

"Still a ten."

"No way!" Jagger and Hays both protested.

She reached out and traced a bruise on his abdomen. She'd noticed the scrapes and bruise on his face the first day, but he'd sidestepped the questions.

"What happened?"

He trembled slightly at her touch, but pulled back. "A little fight. No stress. Do you want to come up with me this time?"

"Sorry to be a wuss, but that is far too high."

Why wouldn't he tell her about the ‘fight'? Was it a top-secret op or something? That was intriguing. She wished he could trust her with the details.

She almost snapped her fingers as it hit her. That must be why she felt like he was hiding something. He had to keep his security jobs from everyone. That made sense and wasn't something he could control with his line of work. She suddenly felt a lot better.

"I'll find you a lower spot to jump," he offered.

"Maybe in a minute. You go compete." She wasn't ready to take a plunge off the cliff, even at a lower spot, but could she take a plunge with Nick? If he was hiding information on dangerous jobs, that wasn't his fault and didn't mean she couldn't trust him. It was something to think about for sure.

"I'm in trouble with these two." But he grinned and scrambled over the boulders again.

The men each took turns diving or doing tricks. The most impressive was Hays doing a back flip with a twist. He was the only one who got a ten, besides Nick for flexing.

After four, or was it five rounds, Nick let the other two climb up without him. He stopped by her side, took her hand, and pulled her to her feet. He sparkled from the moisture on his skin and the sun sparkling off him.

"I found a spot about twenty feet up that would be safe for you to jump. Do you want to try it?"

Darcy's stomach clenched. Did she want to try it? Not really. Maybe. Yes, she wanted to, especially if she was with Nick, but she was scared.

He studied her as she debated.

"I'm scared," she admitted. "Will you hold my hand?"

"I'd be honored."

She quivered from the depth of emotion in his deep-brown eyes. When he looked at her like that, she was certain he was genuine and could never ditch her. She was more terrified of trusting her heart to a man than she was of climbing and jumping. Could Nick keep her heart safe?

Darcy released his hand to unlace her shoes and slide out of them and her socks. She was not going to take any of her clothes off, even though she had a sports bra on underneath. The padded sports bra might slip up when she hit the water. That would be humiliating.

Straightening, she looked from Nick's outstretched hand to his handsome face. She placed her hand in his and trusted he'd take care of her. Helping her over the boulders, Nick slowly guided her up the side of the waterfall. He told her where to put her hands or feet or helped her grab the right root or rock.

Jagger and Hays jumped from the top again and then waited at the bottom for them. When Nick assisted her to a small ledge and she looked down at the pool, her legs quivered.

"Backflip or dive?" Jagger called. "We get to judge you now."

"Oh, please don't. I'll be lucky to jump and not lose my breakfast. You heard me screaming out of that airplane."

Jagger and Hays laughed at that. Nick brushed her arm with his, steadying her on the ledge. "You did amazing," he told her. "This will be no big deal after that."

She looked down at the pool below, Jagger and Hays's expectant faces, and then at the climb she'd done to get here. She definitely wasn't climbing back down. The only choice was to jump.

"Can we jump together?" she asked.

"Sure." Nick took her hand in his. "Do you want to count down?"

"You do it, please," her voice quavered, and she gripped his hand tightly.

"You're ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

"All right. Three … Two … One!"

Nick tugged on her hand as he jumped, and she instinctively leapt forward with him. They plunged through the air. Her stomach hopped and of course she screamed.

Her feet slapped the water, and they plunged down. She closed her mouth and held on to Nick's hand.

Nick kicked them back to the surface. Her head broke through the water, and she pulled in a breath. Nick treaded water with his legs and one arm, his other hand lifting her against his chest. She'd almost forgotten he'd told her he'd help her swim.

"How was it?" he asked.

"Amazing!"

"Nice." He grinned at her.

She wiped her face clean. Nick's body was pressed against hers and his intriguing lips were right there.

The spray from the waterfall misted their faces. The water was a lot colder than the ocean. It felt refreshing, but she wouldn't want to stay in it for long.

"A six," Jagger hollered at her.

Darcy eased back slightly from Nick. "So we're all lying now?" she asked, laughing.

Nick chuckled at her teasing.

"Thank you for being so generous," she said to Jagger.

Hays laughed. "Nobody has ever called him generous."

Jagger shoved at Hays. Hays pushed back, and they ended up in the water, splashing and dunking each other.

She focused back on Nick.

"Do you want to go under the waterfall?" he asked.

"Sure."

He released his tight grip on her, put one hand under her armpit, and tugged her over to the waterfall. They ducked underneath it. She kicked, hoping she was helping, but Nick mostly held her aloft as the spray massaged their heads, necks, and shoulders. It felt great, easing the tension of the past two days.

After maybe half a minute, Nick tugged her behind the waterfall and close to the mossy rock wall. It was cool to see the sheet of water falling between them and Jagger and Hays. As if they were shielded and in their own world.

"You're a brave lady, jumping off the cliff, and swimming with me. I worried after yesterday you wouldn't want to be in the water."

She hadn't even thought of either traumatic experience as they jumped or swam. She'd only thought of him. "I'm brave when you're with me."

Nick studied her. Would he make a move?

The water from the waterfall somewhat shielded them from Jagger and Hays.

He glanced out to where their buddies were treading water and trying not to look at them. Great guys.

Then Nick wrapped her up tight, his arms sliding around her lower back as he treaded water with only his legs. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his lower back. The position was as thrilling as it was intimate.

"Can you keep us afloat like this?" she asked.

"For hours." He grinned cockily, but then his gaze dropped to her lips.

Her heartbeat sped up, and she was warm despite the cool water.

"Darcy." Her name came out as a soft moan, filled with yearning. She'd never heard her name said so enticingly.

She arched up toward him. Their lips brushed and joy filled her.

Nick pulled back, staring at her, concern in his gaze. She'd shut him down last night. How could she explain she was ready to make a leap?

"Darcy, I … We shouldn't."

The pool was suddenly freezing. They shouldn't kiss. He was right. Their paths were too different. He'd walk away from her in a couple of days, and she'd be devastated. She'd let herself get caught up in the sensations of trusting him skydiving today, trusting him off the cliff.

She loosened her grip on him.

"I'm sorry," he said, and he looked as if he meant it. He looked torn apart. "This is confusing."

She nodded. He was right. She didn't know why he was holding back, but she knew she should hold back.

Pushing away from him, she beat at the water with her arms and legs but sank under the waterfall.

Nick grasped her under the arm again and tugged her through the spray and out into the pool.

"Is alone time over?" Jagger teased.

Darcy wanted to cry. Alone time was most definitely over.

Two more days. Then she'd be back with her babies and toddlers and where she was meant to be. She wasn't meant for a relationship with a man. Her failed marriage and knowing she wasn't enough for her own father or her husband should tell her that.

Pasting on a smile, she vowed to keep things light and not let Nick know that he'd already hurt her. She would've let down her guard, kissed him, trusted him. She'd rejected him last night, and now he was rejecting her. He was right. It was confusing.

"Time for me to jump off my little cliff again," Darcy announced.

She looked at Nick and he grinned, as if he hadn't just rejected her, as if things were fine between them.

"By myself this time," she announced.

Nick's eyes flickered with a hurt as if she'd punched him. It was there and gone quick and she was certain she imagined it. He helped her swim to the edge of the pool, and she climbed out, determined to show she could climb and jump on her own. She didn't need a man. She'd never been able to rely on one. Why should that change because she'd met the most appealing man of the century who cared for her but couldn't kiss her and definitely couldn't be with her after this week?

Struggling over the boulders with her slick clothes, hands, and feet, her face was flushed from exertion and embarrassment as she slowly ascended, progressing up the side of the waterfall, grasping roots and rocks. Her hands and arms quivered with the exertion of hauling herself up a second time. She'd assumed she was strong, carrying around twenty-to-thirty-pound toddlers. Apparently not.

Definitely not anywhere near the category of Nick, Jagger, or Hays. The men didn't say anything, which she appreciated. Any coaching or teasing would just annoy her right now. They all could've scrambled up these twenty feet in twenty seconds, looking like the perfect specimens they were. It took her probably longer than a minute and she worried what her backside looked like to the men down below. How awkward. Why hadn't she thought of that before taking off?

Finally, she was perched on the small ledge. Alone. She glanced down. Nick's deep-brown eyes instantly captured hers and held her attention. She could see it in his eyes. He felt deeply for her. Whatever was keeping them apart might not even be his fault.

She didn't want to stew about it, and she had no answers. If only she was brave enough to ask for some, but she'd learned well throughout the ten years she lived with her step-grandmother after her grandpa died and the four years she'd lived with Johnny that it was better not to ask hard questions. She never liked the answers.

"Go Darcy!" Hays cheered.

"Three-sixty and a back flip," Jagger teased.

Nick said nothing. His gaze said it all. He was impressed by her and drawn to her, but nothing could come of the longing on either of their sides.

Fine. She was strong. She was used to being alone.

She tilted her chin up and jumped off the ledge.

Her stomach hopped. The fall was thrilling, but she didn't scream and she didn't have the joy of Nick's hand in hers, knowing he'd stand by her, jump with her, help and lift her when she hit the water and couldn't stay afloat on her own.

She was alone.

It shouldn't have been as shocking as slamming into the cold water, stinging her feet and hands, and unfortunately swallowing a mouthful.

It was worse.