Chapter 8

Chapter

Eight

Aiden didn't knowthat he'd ever been as miserable as he was for the next two days. Somehow, he made it through Tuesday and Wednesday while longing for Chalisa. She was right there, but he couldn't love her, touch her, or store up beautiful memories to get him through the rest of his life.

They both played their parts for the cameras and the incredible people of Magna. They smiled and conversed at meals with the royal family, Mercedes, and Shawn. They worked hard with Kingston, Stuart, Wes, and Alaric on the events they'd need to compete in on Friday. He was saddle sore and bruised, but that wasn't even worth noting.

Aiden joked, teased, called Chalisa love, had some great sword fights and sparring matches with Kingston and Stuart, put in extra hours to excel at the joust since he'd already nailed it with archery, and tried to keep the longing for Chalisa in his arms and his heart from showing. It wasn't fair to toy with her, but she stole his heart more each moment they were together. Chalisa was sweet, worked hard, and had a quiet humor he couldn't get enough of. Truthfully, he couldn't get enough of any part of her, but nobody would ever know that.

Kingston and Reagan obviously knew something wasn't right, but everybody else seemed to buy the ruse of all being well with Aiden and Chalisa.

Even though he was miserable longing for Chalisa, he thought the kingdom of Magna and especially the people were top-notch. He'd never really thought about a life path besides his own. He'd been too focused on working night and day to succeed in his and his dad's plans for him. If he could have an alternate life, though, he'd live it right here. It was like being in the Marines—the camaraderie, the purpose, the training, but with the most incredible woman on earth close by, eating meals with him, making him smile and laugh even as he tried to lock his heart. If only they could be committed to each other and in each other's arms every night like the other men they worked with and their wives. He had to banish that thought every time he had it.

Tonight at dinner, Chalisa had looked gorgeous in an off-white, fitted lace dress that made her glow like an angel. It seemed far too close to a wedding dress for his unsteady state of mind.

On their walk back from dinner, Aiden felt drained from keeping up his nonchalant, teasing, everybody's friend act while also fighting his intense feelings for her.

They were both quiet as he held the suite door. She thanked him and swept inside. He thought she'd go straight to her bedroom as she had the past two nights, but she stopped and turned to him.

He let his gaze feast on her arresting blue eyes. "How are you doing, love?" he asked, his voice soft and not charismatic at all.

"I'm nervous," she admitted, twisting her hands together.

"For?" He arched an eyebrow. If only she would say she was nervous because she had to admit how deeply she loved him, that she couldn't possibly survive without him. He'd have her pray with him and somehow the heavenly intervention he'd never sought or believed in throughout his life would come into play. His dad's voice would miraculously pronounce Aiden should love and marry Chalisa and she would make his path even more successful and of course infinitely happier.

He couldn't believe this train of thought. His dad would never say such a thing, beyond the grave or on this earth.

"Tomorrow's our last day to train. I'm doing all right with archery, but that's it. I'll never compete with Navy SEALs in any of the other events. I need to win that money for my charity, but I don't know how it's possible."

Aiden strode into her space and wrapped her up in his arms before he realized what he was doing. She startled but instantly melted against him. He longed to make this embrace about the passion and longing building inside him, but that wasn't fair to her. He cradled her close but didn't let his hands move from her back or he'd be sunk.

"Don't worry, love," he said softly. He could tell her he'd give her the million dollars, but it would mean more if she felt like she'd earned it. He wanted to win as well. For her and for his pride.

"Don't worry?" She looked up at him, her blue eyes soft and alluring, her lovely lips as enticing as anything in this world.

"No. You've seen me fight Kingston and Stuart hand to hand and with the sword. You've seen me joust and with the arrow." He smiled. "I will get so many points as the top contender in every event, it won't matter what the SEALs do."

She laughed. "Has anyone ever told you that you have an over-inflated ego?"

He grinned, but those words... She'd said the same thing to him that first night. "No. They're too busy telling me how astonishingly perfect I am."

All he could think about were the kisses they'd shared that night. Those life-altering kisses.

"Chalisa," he groaned. He needed her lips fused with his. He needed her. How could love with a sweet, patient, and giving woman like Chalisa possibly be wrong?

She blinked prettily up at him and then moistened her lips as if she could read his mind.

Aiden ached for her, but it would be wrong of him to kiss her, very wrong, when he knew he'd never be able to commit to her and be there for her.

They stared at each other. His body longed for her, but his mind was stronger.

His mind was stronger.

He didn't move.

Please help, he begged heaven above. He was stunned that he'd prayed to a heaven that he'd never turned to. He'd never needed any help beyond his dad, his brother, and Sutton. He shoved the prayer away like a spent shotgun casing.

"Let's get some rest so we can excel at our practice sessions tomorrow," he said, but his voice was croaky like a frog.

He released her from the hug, turned her with his arm, and escorted her to her bedroom. Pushing the door open, he let her go and took a large step back. "Goodnight."

She waited until he met her gaze and then she gave him a heart-wrenching smile and slowly walked into the darkened room. She didn't close the door behind her.

Aiden should've reached out and closed it. He didn't. The light turned on in the bathroom. She stood there, haloed by the light. More sweet, alluring, and exquisite than any woman he'd ever encountered.

Long seconds passed where he vacillated between holding his ground and storming across her bedroom, pinning her against the wall, kissing her, and forgetting every life path except for the one she was on.

He couldn't see her blue eyes clearly as the bathroom light was behind her, but he felt as if she were beckoning to him, begging him to come to her, to love her as only he could.

Everlasting love. He was her beetle.

He felt weaker than a beetle.

She slid into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

What had happened? Had he hesitated too long?

It was for the best, but he felt like he'd lost the opportunity of a lifetime, more important than any security op or protection or rescue mission.

Aiden turned back into the main area and leaned against the wall for support. Had he ever felt this weak?

He slid off his suitcoat, tugged off his tie, and unbuttoned the top two buttons so he could catch a breath. He walked to the entry door and shut off the lights in the main area. He should go to bed. Instead, he sank down on the couch and buried his head in his hands. What was he doing?

He needed to be done with this op, get off this magical, mind-clouding island, and most importantly have some distance from the only woman who could blow his resistance and self-control apart.

The hardest part was Chalisa. She was innocent and enticingly sweet. She wasn't trying to lure him in or trick him. Far from it. Simply being herself was more than enough to capture him heart, body, and soul.

Groaning, he leaned back against the couch cushions and closed his eyes.

Then he heard it. The bathroom door opened and Chalisa walked out. He froze and listened to her every movement, sliding the covers back, kneeling by the side of the bed. He knew she was praying. Of course she was. The light radiating from Chalisa was from above. Why was she drawn to him? He had no heavenly light.

After a long time on her knees, he heard her slide into the bed and stretch out. His heart beat too fast as he imagined her stretching in that bed.

Dad, help me, he begged.

Finally, the slight rustling of the sheets stilled and all he could hear was his too-quick breathing. Could she hear him? Why hadn't she shut the door?

He should rush into his own bedroom, not only shut the door but shove a dresser in front of it to slow him down when the desire to rush for her in the night got too strong.

Tellingly, he didn't move.