Chapter 1

Chapter

One

SEAL Captain Jagger Lemuelshifted his weight. It was late Monday afternoon on a beautiful seventy-five-degree June day on Kauai. He was ready to meet yet another one of Captain Aiden Porter's men for Mercedes Belle's Chance for Charity reality show. This time it was Air Force Reconnaissance Lieutenant Paul Braven. Paul's female counterpart would accompany him on the flight to Kauai. The lady was hoping to win a million dollars for her charity.

Jagger and his best friend and fellow SEAL, Lieutenant Hays West, would be competing against Paul and the lady to stop them from winning the money. The show's viewers might think they were jerks to compete so hard, but Mercedes Belle had asked him and Hays to give the show every bit of competitiveness, skill, and talent they had for their angelic friend and for her deceased brother, Lieutenant Grayson Travier.

Jagger had given his word, and he would keep it.

Some might call that manipulation on Mercedes's part. Jagger didn't really care. He'd do anything for his closest friends besides Hays—Mercedes, Grayson, and Shawn. Shawn was Mercedes's bodyguard and supposed boyfriend.

Only he and Hays could see that Shawn loved and protected Mercedes like a brother. His dedication mostly stemmed from his dedication to Grayson, Shawn's only friend through childhood and teen years. Shawn would likely never admit to even himself that he'd never been romantically in love with Mercedes. He certainly played the part well for the media, though. He was ultra protective of Mercedes and would give his life for her. Sadly, it wasn't Shawn's life that was ebbing away.

How would any of them survive when Mercedes passed?

Maybe Jagger was wrong about Shawn and Mercedes. He'd been wrong before. Romantic love and him had nothing to do with each other.

As soon as this week was over, he and Hays would return to their SEAL unit and his life would be back to normal. Normal for him, at least. SEAL life was intense, demanding, and often life-threatening. He lived and breathed it. Action, leading missions, fighting, battle strategy—it was all inherent to him and part of his soul.

These three weeks of leave had been intriguing and sometimes even fun. Jagger gave a hundred percent to whatever he was doing, and this final week would be no exception.

He turned to Shawn and Hays as they waited on the tarmac of the small Lihue airport on the island of Kauai. Garrett, Mercedes's cameraman, was close by but not filming yet.

"Do you two find it odd that Julie gave us all the glowing information on Lieutenant Paul Braven but nothing on his female counterpart?" Jagger asked. "Is Lieutenant Braven going to introduce the mystery woman?"

Julie Pandoran was Mercedes's assistant and closest friend besides Shawn. He suspected Shawn and Hays both had crushes on the hilarious and beautiful blonde, but neither of them would admit it. It gave him something to razz them about. Separately. He wished either one of them would take a shot at dating Julie. Shawn would probably never move on from Mercedes and he feared Hays would never move on from that cold, bratty, maybe criminal billionaire Elizabeth Oliver. Elizabeth was Hays's young love, just like Belinda was Jagger's. They'd both had their hearts broken the same fateful weekend. It was the only thing they didn't give each other a hard time about. In fact, they didn't talk about it at all.

Shawn, very suspiciously, wouldn't meet his gaze. His friend shifted his weight and clenched his fists. He was obviously uncomfortable. Jagger had written it off as Shawn's concern for Mercedes and nerves, not wanting to be the one the camera was focused on without Mercedes here. Now it felt like something else was adding to Shawn's discomfort.

"Mercedes wanted you to know about the lieutenant because he works for Aiden Porter as his pilot and a security specialist," Shawn finally said. "She knew it would make you even more competitive."

"She's right." Jagger had a lot of respect for and a burning need to best anyone associated with Captain Aiden Porter, ‘the second-top security specialist in the world' in his own words. Aiden was a suave, cocky former Marine. Jagger was the last to admit it, but the man had every right to be cocky. He was the only man Jagger had ever lost a fight to—except for Belinda's dad, Pastor Ralphs, but he couldn't dwell on his lost love.

He supposed Lieutenant Nick Jacobs could claim he'd tied Jagger last week to win the million dollars for Darcy Saint, but that sparring match had been scored by judges and Nick had quietly admitted to Jagger he thought the judges had let him tie to win the money for Darcy.

Aiden had also won the girl during their week on the island of Magna, the Hidden Kingdom, the charitable and gorgeous sweetheart, Chalisa Anderson. Jagger didn't care about that. He'd only hit on Chalisa to get in Aiden's head. No woman but his Bee could ever penetrate his heart, and he'd never see Belinda Ralphs again. He'd promised to never contact her and he'd kept that promise, blocking her number in his phone and deleting any emails before reading them. Both actions had ripped at his already dying heart.

That was long over now and didn't bear thinking about.

Sometimes Bee still worked her way into his thoughts—fiery kisses and carefree fun that would never be a reality for him again.

"But for the past two weeks, we had all the information on both participants," Hays pointed out.

Hays was right. They all knew that Mercedes and Julie set these initial meetings up for maximum impact and footage for the reality television show, A Chance for Charity.

It was odd that this week the male and female counterparts were coming to Jagger, Hays, and Shawn on the same plane. Garrett was filming Jagger and Hays meeting with their competitors, not the competitors' initial meeting with each other.

To his understanding, the first filming was typically of the couple seeing each other for the first time. Which made sense, as he suspected Mercedes and Julie thought the matchmaking and romantic portion of the show was as important as the action and challenges, as well as the attention and money brought to the lady's charity.

Jagger didn't like not knowing what was going on or why things had changed.

He lifted his eyebrows at Shawn. His friend was still ignoring him. Shawn was cold and standoffish to everybody—except for Mercedes, Julie, Mercedes's dad Franz Belle, and sometimes Jagger and Hays. Jagger could relate and didn't usually give Shawn grief about it.

A white jet landed smoothly and taxied in their direction. Mercedes's jet. Jagger and the other two men had flown in yesterday and made sure everything was ready for the challenge. Then they had relaxed at the gorgeous house overlooking the peaceful and shallow Anini Bay. Well, Jagger and Hays had tried to relax, but neither of them were very adept at it. Shawn was used to a lot more downtime, being the constant shadow of the terminally-ill Mercedes, but he had been stirred up and anxious. He clearly didn't like being away from Mercedes.

Shawn looked away from the plane and finally met Jagger's gaze. Their friend said in a low, gravelly voice, "I shouldn't even be here, but Mercedes wouldn't let me off the hook. Her dad and Julie are with her back in Texas." His hands balled into fists, and he focused on Hays. "The surgery didn't go well yesterday. Her body rejected the new artificial heart. This was her last chance. The doctor gave her a week, maybe two."

"No," Hays groaned.

Jagger closed his eyes against the pain. They had known this was coming. Mercedes's death had been imminent for a while now. The only reason she was still alive was because her dad had used his considerable wealth and connections to get her the best doctors and prolong the little time. They'd tried donor hearts initially and then artificial hearts. Mercedes' body had rejected every organ and each surgery weakened her.

Franz Belle might be ultra-wealthy, but he'd lost everything that mattered to him—his wife, his son, and now his daughter had a matter of days left on this earth.

Franz's son, Mercedes's half-brother Grayson Travier, was one of the best men Jagger had ever known. He'd been in the Army, a Green Beret, but Jagger had gotten to know him through Shawn and their lifelong friendship. Grayson's mom, Mama T, had basically adopted Shawn, keeping him off the streets, fed, and loved.

Jagger was on this show in the role of a villain, fighting like a jerk against a woman winning a million dollars for her charity because of his love for Grayson, Shawn, and Mercedes. He related better to Franz Belle than anyone, and they all thought of Mercedes's dad as a benevolent uncle of sorts. Jagger's mom had died last year in a car rollover. He could count the worst days of his life on one hand—his dad's death, Grayson's death, Bee's betrayal, and his mom's death.

Jagger also had no family left in this world. When Mercedes died, he'd have Hays and Shawn, but even his best friends didn't know why he'd given up on Bee. They assumed like everyone else that Jagger was far too hardened. That his heart was impenetrable. The truth was, his heart had been decimated in the small town of Oneida, Kentucky, and he'd never tried to repair it.

What if Bee watched these shows in the fall and saw him? She'd always stuck up for him to her dad. Would she think he was a jerk now? Everyone else did.

Why was he thinking about his old girlfriend when Mercedes was dying?

Hays hugged Shawn, but Shawn slipped out of the embrace within moments. Jagger gave their friend a quick side hug as well. That was about all the emotion he or Shawn could handle. If anyone was more closed off and messed up than him, it was Shawn Holister. Deserted, betrayed, unloved—Shawn fit all those sad descriptors and more. His Navy friends and Mercedes were all he had, and sadly Shawn had failed HELL week twice, so he hadn't progressed with Jagger and Hays. It had been torture to leave Shawn behind, but he still had a great career in the Navy, only retiring when Mercedes's congestive heart failure progressed and he decided to appoint himself her full-time bodyguard, surrogate brother, and boyfriend.

"I'm sorry, bro," Jagger muttered.

The plane taxied up to them. Shawn blinked quick and nodded to them, straightening to his full height. With his longish blond hair and piercing light blue eyes, he looked like a Viking.

"Jag," Shawn muttered, easing in closer. "Whatever happens this week, please don't quit. Keep going and fighting for Mercedes. That's all she wants. She said to tell you it's her dying wish."

Thankfully, Shawn's voice didn't crack or anything awkward like that, but the plea in his blue eyes was enough to seal the words in Jagger's heart. He wanted to protest that he'd never quit anything in his life—except for his quest for Bee—but it was obvious Shawn was a mess right now, so he didn't get hung up on semantics. Shawn must be afraid that Mercedes would die this week and Jagger and Hays would be too distraught to finish the show.

"I'll keep going and fighting to win, no matter what." He nodded to his friend. "Hooyah."

"Hooyah," Shawn and Hays quietly repeated.

Jagger swallowed down the emotion and turned to face this next week's challenge. The door to the plane swooped open, seamlessly forming a staircase. A tall, dark, well-built man with obvious military bearing walked out. He nodded coolly to them and turned back to wait for his counterpart.

Air Force Reconnaissance Lieutenant Paul Braven.

Jagger had taunted and fought with the ever-smirking Aiden Porter, Braven's boss. Aiden had earned his respect, but they were definitely not buddies. Jagger had grown to like the smiling Nick Jacobs from last week. Great guy. Paul Braven must be the serious friend.

They all waited for the lady to descend. And waited. And waited.

Shawn looked at him and lifted his shoulders.

"Shall I go carry her out of the plane?" Jagger tried to joke.

Paul glanced back at him with a glare.

Jagger raised his hands, feigning innocence. How would Paul make it through the week? Jagger wasn't even being a jerk yet. That had been a semi-nice line in his mind. At least Aiden and Nick had been able to banter with him and Hays.

Turning back to the plane, Paul extended his hand. A woman placed her small hand in his and finally descended the steps.

Her hair was blonde, her eyes blue, and her face was breathtakingly beautiful. Though her frame was small, barely five-three, she had gained womanly curves in the past fourteen years. She was a Southern lady clear through and would be as comfortable on a horse as she was at the church's potluck dinner or standing up for what she believed in.

Jagger knew all of this because he knew this woman.

His heart threatened to burst from his chest, and every muscle in his body tightened.

"Bee," he heard himself moan.

He wanted to dash to her and sweep her off her feet, kiss her thoroughly and praise his angel mother up in heaven for bringing his Bee back into his life. He'd promised not to contact her, but here she was, only twenty feet away.

The other option, almost as compelling as the first, was to sprint in the other direction. He should run turkey like he'd never done and break the promise he'd just made to Shawn. He should quit this week and never have to face his lost love.

Jagger did neither. He froze and let his gaze feast on her perfect and too-familiar face. She'd matured, and it had only made her more beautiful, sharpening the angles of her feminine features and enhancing the curves she'd barely hinted at as an eighteen-year-old.

Her blue eyes were locked on him, like a sniper with him in the bullseye. She hadn't scanned the area and then noticed him; she'd somehow known he was here, and clearly the only thing on her mind was cussing him out. Her blue eyes shot fire at him. He knew her too well, but any fool could see she was furious with him.

How could that be? She'd turned her back on him, cheated on him with Mike, and broken his heart, not the other way around. She should be groveling for his forgiveness, not coming out stinging like a bee from the start.

"I can't do this," he muttered for only Shawn to hear.

"Please," Shawn said. The word wasn't one he used often, or ever. "You promised you wouldn't quit. Remember, it was Mercedes's dying wish of you."

"Wait a minute." Jagger rounded on his friend, not bothering to keep his voice low. "She knew? Mercedes and Julie schemed this up, Julie did her deep-dive research, and she found …" He couldn't very well admit that Bee was the lost love of his life on the show or especially in front of Bee. "Found Belinda Ralphs, and brought her on this show." Now he rounded on Hays. "Did you tell her?"

Hays shook his head, his dark eyes sincere. Hays hadn't ratted him out.

Jagger looked back to Shawn. "You?"

Shawn let out a heavy breath and said in a hushed whisper, "Apparently I mentioned years ago that you were in love in basic, but halfway through A school it imploded. Sorry, man." He lifted his hands. "I refused to give her a name."

Jagger clenched his jaw and his fists. He glanced over and could see the lieutenant and Bee in hushed conversation. She looked up at Jagger and their gazes caught and held. Her blue glacier eyes melted, engulfed him like a thermal pool, and Jagger was sunk, held more firmly than with a pair of iron shackles.

The life-giving, joy-filled connection was back. It was like the last fourteen years had been nothing more than a horrible dream. Everything that had ever been between Jagger and his Bee was back—all the love, the memories, the plans and dreams.

Belinda would run to him and he'd pick her up in his arms, kiss her with the fire and passion only they had together. He'd never moved on from her, just like he knew he wouldn't. She was his perfect match. Of course his Bee could explain why she'd moved on from him.

She had moved on. Cheated on him. Broken him.

The picture in his mind's eye of her returning Mike's kiss severed their connection and turned any good memory or hope for their future into dust.

Jagger was broken, alone, and unloved. He pinned her with a fierce glare to protect himself. She couldn't hurt him again. He was too tough, too hardened, too far past the innocence and beauty of their young love.

Hurt flashed in her eyes, and he almost dropped his pride and ran for her. He stayed strong and turned back to his friends, folding his arms across his chest for protection. He could not let his guard down around Belinda Ralphs or allow her into his heart again.

"Jag, I'm sorry." Shawn shook his head. "I wanted to warn you, but Mercedes begged me and Julie begged me and how could I tell either of them no?"

Jagger acknowledged that with a tight nod. Shawn would never refuse Mercedes or Julie anything. The pair of women were sweethearts and conspirators to the millionth degree. "But you knew she was coming on this show?"

"I knew they'd found your ‘lost love' and were scheming how to get you together again."

Lost love. Jagger flinched at the very words he'd just thought.

"And ‘miraculously,' in Mercedes's words, Belinda Ralphs has created a fabulous charity that deserves exposure and financial support."

Miraculously. Jagger grunted. He could admit to himself that there had been times he'd seen miraculous events throughout his fourteen years of active duty, but he'd also seen horrific devastation and the ugliest depravity man could dole out. He'd never forget his dad dying when, as a ten-year-old, he'd been so filled with faith that he'd live. His mom dying in a tragic car accident last year had been another sucker punch he didn't know how to recover from. He'd also never forgotten Pastor Ralphs claiming that the timing of Jagger showing up and viewing Mike and Bee kissing was ‘God's will.'

Heaven had created the battle lines and Jagger honored the armistice, staying far away from religion and anything miraculous.

"Mercedes said to beg for her," Shawn continued, "‘Please, please, please, if you love Grayson or I at all, do this show for us.'"

Jagger could not believe Mercedes could be this manipulative. He'd thought moments ago he was doing this show to honor his friend. It would've been hard to keep going if Mercedes really did pass away this week, but he'd been willing to step up and be the jerk fighting against a charitable woman to win her money. This was too far. He often teased Mercedes she was too sweet. Not anymore.

How could she do this to him?

"Jag…" Hays's whisper was a warning.

He glanced back to see Bee was coming at him, Paul following in her wake as if to protect her. Jagger had never and would never hurt a lady. Especially not Bee. But he wouldn't cower to her either.

He put on his battle armor, pivoted, spread his stance, and waited. What would she do? What would she say? Maybe she'd explain how she could withdraw from him and then cheat on him. Maybe he'd finally get some closure. Was she still married to Mike?

He knew his Bee, and she was feisty. He welcomed the confrontation. Her anger was preferable to the awful memories of the last time he'd seen her—laughing with and kissing Mike.

He'd promised her dad he wouldn't contact her if her dad fulfilled all the parameters—showed Jagger that Bee was happy with Mike and loved the guy, then knocked him out and dragged him away bloodied and broken.

Jagger was suddenly back in the bed of his pickup, waking up confused, miles away from the Ralphs ranch. He forced himself to climb into the driver's seat. The keys were in the ignition and there was a note on the dash—You promised.

He crumpled up the paper, hurled it out the still-open door, slammed it, and drove the wrong direction. Back to Virginia and away from Bee.

Each mile hurt. His head throbbed and his stomach churned. It was worse than any flu bug he'd ever experienced.

He was driving away from the love of his life and abandoning his heart forever.

Jagger snapped back to the present, where Bee was storming up to him as if he'd hurt her instead of the other way around. If only he knew how he'd react. His knees shook, losing strength and threatening to bring him to his knees to grovel for her forgiveness. Which was completely backwards.

Mercedes and Julie. What a scheming pair of matchmakers. If Mercedes wasn't dying, he'd tell her off. Shawn had known this was coming at him and hadn't warned him.

How could his supposed friends do this to him?

Fourteen years ago, he'd learned that true love betrayed him. His mom, Shawn, Hays, Grayson, and the Navy had been all he had at that time. He'd also learned to love and trust Mercedes and Julie.

Now Grayson and his mom were dead, and his friends were setting him up for agony at the mouth of his former love.

Was he alone in the world again? No one to rely on but himself?

He stood strong, ready to take whatever Belinda dished out and hoping his friends hadn't betrayed him like she did fourteen years ago.