Chapter 10

Chapter

Ten

The instant their lips connected,Belinda heard heavenly choirs shout hoorah. The kiss was more fiery and powerful than her memories of their connection.

This kiss was one hundred percent her Jag. He took command of her lips, and her heart sang. What could possibly keep them apart? What from their past hurts could ever override or damage the love she felt right now? Nothing. Only Jag mattered to her.

Sliding his hands to her lower back, Jagger straightened and lifted her feet off the ground. He carried her into the water. The surf pressed against them, but nothing could take her Jagger down. She held on tight and laughed.

Jagger smiled against her lips and then kissed her thoroughly. The pulse of the ocean and the paradise of this island combined with the magic of his kiss. He kissed her with a longing born of years apart and the confidence of a man who could conquer anything in this world. With their lips fused together, any worries disappeared and every happy possibility was in their future.

Jagger swooped her up higher as a larger wave pushed against them. He slipped one arm under her legs and cradled her upper body against his strong chest.

Belinda was airborne. She was soaring. She giggled and clung to him, kissing him with every bit of craving she had stored up. Fourteen years of yearning for these moments, needing this perfect man in her life. She had no desire to sting like a bee, only to give him loads of honey.

They kissed until she couldn't catch a breath or see straight. Luckily, she didn't have to stand on her own two feet as he was holding her. Jag would always hold her, support her, be there for her.

He pulled back to catch a breath and laughed. His own happiness at their reunion made his dark eyes sparkle.

They were both wet from the surf. Carrying her back to the soft sand of the beach, he set her on her tiptoes, running his strong hands up and down her back and making her quiver. She leaned into him and returned the favor, running her hands over his strong shoulders and down his back, then back up to frame his handsome face, feel the rugged manliness of his jaw and short beard.

"Jag," she murmured. "I have ached for you."

She didn't know if she should be so transparent when nothing was resolved between them and she still had no answers to why he'd ditched her. Yet if he couldn't feel how much she loved him from these kisses, he was slow—and her Jagger was anything but slow.

"Bee …" He looked over her face with a sense of awe and reverence she'd never seen from him. Even when they were together.

Maybe she could understand why they'd had to go through such a rough patch. The awful separation would make them even more appreciative of each other and any time they could carve out together. They'd be more in love, joined in purpose, full of each other and the future joy they could only find as a happily married couple.

"Nothing's been right without you, Bee," he said. "I should never have let you go. It's always been you for me. Always."

His words were tender and beautiful, and the way he looked at her made them even more impactful, but it slammed into her—the reason nothing had been right was because he shouldn't have let her go. He'd ditched her. Shoved her away, actually.

Her Jag, who fought for everything that was important to him, hadn't fought for her. That dug at her soul and tender-for-him heart as deeply as it had every time she'd let her mind wander down that forbidden train of thought during the past fourteen years. How could it always be her for him if he hadn't made any effort to come for her, to make things right, for fourteen miserable years?

A different kind of fire built inside her chest. Her normally perceptive Jagger didn't feel the shift. He bent his head to capture her lips again, and she exploded.

"How could you ditch me?" she yelled against his lips.

"How …" He straightened and looked down at her. Though he still held her close, there was instantly a brick wall slammed between them. It had disappeared for a few minutes, but this wall had been built and the mortar hardened to unbreakable stone every day since he'd blocked her number.

"I ditched you?" His voice wasn't angry, just filled with disbelief. "You cheated on me with Mike. Then you married him."

"I didn't cheat," she protested, but hot shame filled her. She wasn't innocent in this debacle. Salt water dripped down her legs and from her dress, making her even more uncomfortable. "Okay, I sort of did cheat on you. I tried to give him a chance that summer and kissed him once. But it's not like you think," she rushed to add as his brow furrowed. "I always loved you. When he kissed me, I knew it was all wrong and all I wanted was you. But … how would you even know that I cheated on you?"

"I saw it with my own eyes. I watched you flirt with him, touch him, and kiss him." He pulled back but still didn't release her, shaking his head. "Bee … it was awful. But I still would've fought for you. Fought to keep us together. I did fight for you, but your dad won the fist fight and I promised … I never should have let him sucker me in. Talk about bargaining with the devil." He gritted the words out, and as he stared at her, it was now with a mixture of frustration and longing.

"What on earth are you talking about?" She pulled free of his arms, staring up at him in confusion. "You didn't fight for me. You blocked my number and didn't respond to my emails. No way did you see Mike kiss me with your own eyes. You were in A-school training in Virginia the day that happened. How dare you call my dad the devil! What does he have to do with any of this?"

Jagger's jaw hardened and his eyes narrowed. "Your dad has everything to do with this. He didn't tell you what happened the day I came to the ranch?"

"You haven't been to the ranch since before I left for Africa and you started basic."

"Are you serious?" he ground out. "Your parents didn't tell you." He shook his head, disgust radiating from him.

"What are you spouting? When did you come to the ranch?"

"September twenty-seventh," he said, his fists clenching and his arm muscles engaging. "I finally got leave and I was worried about you, about us. I understood when you were Africa and I was in basic that it was difficult to connect, but even though you were back in the country, you rarely had time to accept my calls and your texts were brief and impersonal."

She acknowledged that with a nod. It had been a weird time, and she'd been feeling the pressure from her parents and Mike. She'd also been experiencing a lot of distance emotionally from Jagger with over four months of not seeing each other and rarely hearing his voice.

"You'd said you were going home that weekend, so I drove the ten hours to your ranch to surprise you. Your mom answered the door and tried to talk me out of dating you."

"My mom would never," she protested.

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow. "When I insisted I see you, your dad burst out of the house and said I was all wrong for you, asked me to let you go, and claimed I made you angry and made you cry."

Belinda had no quick response for that. Jagger did bring out more emotion in her than anyone in this world, but she thrived on it. She'd felt almost lifeless without him, even with her incredible purpose and how much she adored the children and families she helped. Only God's strength and her parents' love and support had gotten her through. And Jagger hadn't made her cry because he hurt her—not at that point in their relationship, anyway. She'd cried the past fourteen years because she missed him so much.

"Your dad said if he could prove you were happier with Mike and that you loved him, I had to let you go."

"What?" Her mom and dad had pushed her toward Mike, but they would never interfere in her life like that. It would be heavy-handed and awful.

He nodded. "I told your dad he'd never prove you loved Mike and the only way I was leaving without talking to you was if I was bloody, unconscious, and he dragged me off the property."

Her eyes widened. That sounded horrible. Her mild-mannered, preacher father would never do something like that. Was Jagger making this up?

"He made me promise to walk away if I saw that you loved Mike and he made you happy, not angry, and if he could knock me out in a fight. He wanted me to promise not to contact you again. I stupidly agreed because of my pride, but also because I trusted you."

Jagger's dark eyes were sparking fire, but not like the earlier sparks of passion and love. Now it was anger and frustration.

Belinda stared at him, too stunned for words or to mount any kind of defense. Her parents had believed Mike made her happier, and Jagger would definitely try to fight his way through anything, but she could never imagine him and her dad duking it out. This entire story sounded far-fetched, and that didn't fit Jagger at all.

"Your dad and I hid in a stall in the barn," he continued. "You and Mike came in laughing and flirting and touching each other." Disgust and fury were thick in his voice. "After you put away your horses, he pinned you against the stall and kissed you. You threw your arms around his neck and kissed him back." It was obvious he was barely controlling his anger. Even the memory seemed to make him irate. "He carried you out of the barn in his arms. You leaned into him."

His shoulders drooped as if her betrayal had defeated him. He studied her, but she could hardly believe Jagger had been hiding in her barn with her dad. In fact, she didn't believe it. Her parents would've told her if Jagger had come for her.

"I threw a punch at your dad," he continued when she still said nothing. "He stunned me with a jab, then slammed me into the concrete floor. I was disoriented and a mess and he succeeded in knocking me out. Apparently he was a Golden Gloves boxing champion years ago. The next thing I remember is waking up in my truck several miles from your house. I'd promised your dad, so I drove away. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, and I've regretted it every day. I should've broken my promise, come for you, and made you choose. At least then you would've known how deeply I loved you, not heard about my visit from your parents' skewed perception."

He stopped talking and stared at her, waiting for her response.

The details he had were uncanny, but there was no possible way any of this was true. Her dad would never do something like this to her and then hide it for fourteen years, eight of those during a loveless marriage. And to claim that her mom had seen part of the interaction? Inconceivable. Belinda had cried and moaned and wondered how to get Jagger to respond to her, and neither of her parents had once said that Jagger had come for her that fateful day she had let Mike kiss her.

There was no world where her parents would allow her to go through that kind of anguish and not admit to this whole cockamamie story that Jagger had just shared with her. No way. And claiming her dad was a lightweight champion? What a farce. Her mild-mannered and charitable father had never thrown a punch in his life.

"You … liar," she gritted out, glaring at this man she thought she'd loved.

"Pardon me?" His dark eyes narrowed, but he mostly looked confused by her response.

"How could you know details like that about my interaction with Mike that day, and how could you make up such outrageous lies about my parents? Did you have some camera installed at my house and barn and monitor it? Was that a Navy assignment or just you and your buddies thinking you were clever or not trusting me?"

"Bee …" He shook his head. "You're kidding, right?"

"Kidding?" Her voice rose to a shriek. "You make up these outlandish lies about my mom and dad, the two most charitable people who have been there for me through thick and thin, the two people who would never let me hurt like I did after you ditched me, and you think I'm kidding? ‘The Lord detests lying, but He delights in people who are trustworthy.'" She quoted the Psalm, but it didn't make her feel any better. How could her Jagger not be trustworthy?

He stared at her. Stared as if she were unstable, unhinged, off her rocker. How dare he?

"Argh!" she screamed, threw her hands in the air, and ran through the sand.

Jagger raced after her. He easily caught her and wrapped his arms around her from behind, pulling her to a stop.

"Bee." His voice was unsteady. "You have to see the truth. You have to believe me. How would I know details about that day? How would I have time to come install some camera and monitor it? I was in basic and A school. That day was the first break I'd gotten since I kissed you goodbye four and half months before."

"I don't know! You're brilliant; you'd figure something out. Maybe you ran into Mike and he told you."

"Mike would just up and admit that you cheated on me with him?"

Belinda yanked out of his arms and spun to face him. "I wasn't … cheating! Okay, I guess in a sense I was, but I didn't like kissing him and I only leaned into him because I didn't want him kissing me again. I was only trying to give him a chance because my parents adored him and hated you."

"Exactly!" He threw a hand in the air. "Exactly. You know your parents would do anything to get you away from me, and apparently they did. They resorted to lies and hiding the truth from you. I can't believe the good pastor would lie to you all these years." His voice dripped with derision. "And your mom, acting so sweet, pretending to like me, but hiding the truth from you to keep you away from me and push you on Mike."

"My parents would never lie to me!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. How dare he disparage her parents? They were the only ones who had been there for her through every painful moment without him.

A bird flew into the air from a nearby tree and a couple of people down by the water turned to stare at them.

"You're the liar!" She tried to think how to prove it. "Like my dad could knock you out. That's such bull crap. You could best anyone in a fight, and my dad has never fought a day in his life."

"He hid that from you too?"

She gasped in outrage. Her dad would never hide something like that from her.

Jagger grimaced. "I'm not proud of your dad beating me. His fist was like lightning. It stunned me and next thing I knew, he was slamming my head into the concrete."

"You shouldn't be proud, because you're lying." All he wanted to do was think the worst of her beloved parents. "You claim you drove your truck to my house?"

He nodded shortly.

"Why didn't I see it? Mike and I went straight back to the house and had iced tea with my mama."

"Isn't that nice," he sneered. "Your dad probably had the truck moved by one of his ranch hands as soon as he and I walked to the barn. He was texting somebody. I was in such a hurry to get to you I left the keys in the ignition."

"My dad is not some devil who had it out for you!"

"Yes he is. He's a pompous hypocrite masquerading as a devoted father and pastor. Look up the definition of deceitful con-artist and you'll find Pastor Sheldon Ralphs's picture."

"How … you …" She was so angry she couldn't form a coherent sentence. Jagger looked justified saying his spiteful, bitter words, and he was obviously as angry as she felt. No way could she betray her beloved and devoted parents and back down at this moment. "You're a cocky jerk, a liar, and I hate you!"

She whirled and ran through the sand. Jagger followed her, which fueled her anger even more. He didn't move to touch or stop her this time.

The two of them made it to the bark-lined trail below the beach house. She didn't waste the time putting on the sandals she'd left by the trail. She ran up the path, the bark stinging the bottom of her feet. She didn't care.

Racing across the patio, she yanked open one of the glass doors. Jagger caught and held it. She glared back at him. His dark eyes were full of anger, and that made her more angry.

"Bee," he ground out. "You have to listen to me. You have to believe me, or we'll never have a chance."

"I'll never believe you," she screamed at him. "And I don't want a chance with you. I want nothing to do with you!"

She whirled and pounded into the main room. Paul wasn't there, but Hays had his phone in hand. Was he already back from the store? He was on his feet, staring at them as if a horror film had come to life in the living room.

"Is … everything all right?" he asked.

"No," they both shouted, dripping salt water on the hardwood floor.

Hays gripped his phone. He blinked at the two of them, a statue of a tough yet kind military man with no idea how to help his friend or respond to either of them.

His phone. She had to talk to her dad. Right now.

"Give me that phone," she demanded, storming up to Hays.

Hays looked from her to Jagger. "Um … you aren't supposed to have any contact with the outside world. You'd have to forfeit the money." Hays shifted his weight and grimaced. "I'm sorry. You signed a release form."

"I know what I signed. This is an emergency!"

"Jag?" Hays questioned.

"I don't know what to do." Jagger lifted his hands.

She whirled on him. "If, in your twisted mind, you somehow believe you are telling the truth, you would want me to make this phone call and talk to my parents."

Jagger held her gaze steadily. "They've been lying to you for fourteen years. What makes you think they'll own up to the truth now?"

"How dare you," she hollered at him. "My parents have never lied to me, and I'm going to trust them now and forever. You know what? I don't even need to call them. There is no world where they would lie to me." She pointed at him. "But I don't even know you anymore. You're a hardened, lying, jerky, selfish, mean, warped version of the man I used to love."

Jagger slowly walked toward her. His shirt and shorts clung to his muscular body. He looked strong and manly and irresistible, but he wasn't. He was a hardened liar. She couldn't look away from his dark gaze and she refused to retreat or cower to him.

"I am hardened and a jerk," he said in a deceptively soft voice. "But I have never lied to you. Ever."

Part of Belinda wanted to believe him. They'd reconnected minutes ago, shared heart-stopping kisses and embraces and joy even better than she'd dreamed of for years. She'd believed for those moments that her heart, soul, and long-lost love had been restored.

But there was no world where her beloved parents would do the things he was claiming. The two people who had never turned their backs on her, who'd been there for her every step of the way, were her mom and dad. They consistently put her happiness and needs above their own, helping with her charity in any way they could, doing extra to ease her burdens. They adored her. Their faces lit up when she walked into the room.

She could never believe they would lie to her. Never.

Belinda didn't scream or punch Jagger or tell him how twisted and wrong and evil he was. She hated him and his petty words and accusations. It was a huge exercise in self-restraint when she simply pivoted, ran up the stairs, and slammed herself into her suite. She threw herself on the bed, her wet dress soaking into the beautiful bedspread, and sobbed.

She sobbed for all she'd lost. Again.

Her fingers found her necklace and pulled out her bee ring. She wanted to yank it off and hurl it at Jagger's handsome face, but it was hers and touching it gave her the only comfort she felt right now.

When she'd been deserted by her young love fourteen years ago, she'd thought she would never recover and the pain would never stop. It had dulled but never went away.

Being around Jagger again, laughing and teasing and kissing and thinking they might have a chance was a cruel form of torture. Right now, she hurt as deeply as she had as a besotted eighteen-year-old. Now she knew how awful it was to live without Jagger for fourteen years and how long and lonely the future would be.

It was more obvious now than it had been during the past fourteen years…

She and Jagger would never be together.