Chapter 5

Siona

D espite Zerien getting frequently distracted with State matters to handle, our next two weeks together were absolutely magical. I loved how relaxed and laid back he became when he could only focus on us… Or rather on me.

My man was so incredibly stunning—like every Sarenian—that I still couldn't believe he was mine. Everywhere we went, females fell all over themselves trying to catch his eye. But he had no time for them. The malicious side I didn't know I possessed derived great pleasure at seeing those skanks' dejected expressions when Zerien utterly ignored them. The best part of it all was that he genuinely didn't even seem to realize they existed because he only had eyes for me.

His devotion worked wonders on my extremely frayed self-confidence. Even though he had been steadfast in expressing his love for me over the years, I always feared the day we would finally spend an extended period of time together, he would find me lacking. That we lived so far away from each other, with him surrounded by countless breathtakingly beautiful Sarenian females, further undermined my confidence.

His people's high libido was legendary. From all accounts—and of his own admission—Zerien had been extremely active sexually before meeting me. By Sarenian standards, it was normal. Their young began coupling around the age of eleven, and Zerien was no exception. Judging by his insane sexual appetite since our first night together here on Venus Hive, it boggled my mind that he managed to remain celibate over the six years he courted me.

And yet, I had no reason to doubt he indeed remained faithful.

To my shame, I had actually asked a Korlethean Oracle whether they had seen a path where Zerien might cheat on me. The answer had been unequivocal: there was none. So long as I drew breath, even should our relationship take a dark turn, Zerien would remain true to me.

I gave him a sideways glance.

Once again, the perfection of his features took my breath away. The predatory, almost vicious expression on his face should have frightened me, but it turned me on in ways I couldn't put into words. His plump lips—that he always used so expertly on every inch of my body—were parted in a feral smile, allowing the tips of his fangs to peek out. His bright blue eyes were leveled on the gladiators in the area before us.

He loved a blood bath.

In truth, so did I. Spending the past six years being raised on Braxia as the adoptive daughter of one of their most insane Berserkers—both literally and figuratively—played a big part in it. Having enjoyed extensive combat training at the hands of Mercy also made me appreciate even more watching skillful pugilists bash each other's heads in.

That the people doing the head bashing belonged to my father's clan soon had me jumping on my feet and shouting at the top of my lungs both to cheer them on and to berate their rivals. At first, I feared Zerien would be embarrassed or disapprove of my less-than-queen-like behavior. To my delight, it not only seemed to amuse him, but he also joined his voice to mine more than once to shout his own support for my clansmen or throw shade at their opponents.

After I showered one of the latter with a particularly vicious deluge of swear words, which earned me a few sideways glances from other patrons in attendance, I sat my ass down feeling slightly mortified. Hanging out with Braxians in the arena had not taught me to show much restraint in similar instances.

I sheepishly peered at Zerien to see how he was responding to my behavior. Instead of the frown I expected, he was staring at me with an almost feral grin, his bright blue eyes having slightly darkened.

"I love it when you're this savage," he said in a rumbling voice that instantly had my toes curling.

My cheeks heated, but more with arousal than actual embarrassment.

"You wouldn't say that if that savagery was aimed at you," I replied teasingly.

To my shock, his eyes darkened further, and his gorgeous face took on a lascivious expression that instantly had moisture pooling between my thighs.

"On the contrary, my love. I'd want nothing more than for you to be this savage with me," he said, his voice dipping an octave.

"Is that a dare?" I whispered in a seductive voice.

"It is," he replied in a similar tone.

With that, he extended a hand towards me. Words weren't needed. I gladly placed my palm in his and let him lead me out of the arena and back to our hotel. I didn't know how we managed to make it back without making a spectacle of ourselves right there in our hovercar, while riding through the concourse in front of everyone. Thankfully, his bodyguards sitting in the front were doing a fabulous job of pretending not to see and hear the heavy petting happening between us on the back seat.

Zerien had a way of looking at me like a famished wild beast every time he was turned on, which was quite often. The whole way back, my inner walls kept contracting in anticipation, while my breasts felt heavy, and my nipples ached for attention. Saying I was addicted to his touch couldn't even begin to express how much I craved him.

To think I had held so many fears about intimacy with him. First, I dreaded he would find me disappointing in bed. Then, I worried he would tire of me within days. But above all, I'd been terrified that I wouldn't be able to keep up with his needs as his people were well known for their impressive stamina and insatiable libido.

But thank the Goddess, I was just as ravenous as my man when it came to playing naughty with him.

It took everything in me not to start having my way with him in the lift taking us to the penthouse suite of our hotel. Judging by the way Zerien was grinding his teeth and fisting his hands, he was also battling the urge to throw himself on me.

This torture had me going wild with desire. But apparently nowhere near as much as it did to my man.

As soon as we stepped inside our suite, Zerien all but slammed the door in the faces of his bodyguards. Before I could even react, he picked me up with phenomenal strength and slammed my back against the wall. The strength of the impact sent a bolt of lust exploding in my nether region. As I wrapped my legs around his waist, Zerien crushed my lips in a voracious kiss. Even as our tongues mingled, I used my right hand to pull up the short skirt he was wearing, while holding myself up with my left arm wrapped around his shoulders.

Simultaneously, he slipped one hand under the extremely short skirt of my formfitting dress, his fingers dipping under the barely there fabric of my thong. He growled in approval against my lips at already finding me soaking wet. But then, when was I not when it came to him?

A thrill coursed through me when I felt the prickling sensation of his claws extruding against the sensitive skin of my sex. They were dagger sharp, and strong enough to eviscerate a wild beast. Instead of instilling fear within me, it only had my inner walls throbbing. With one swift yet careful movement, Zerien cut my thong open. He could have simply pulled it aside, but he loved adding an element of danger to our encounters. And seeing how more of my essence gushed out, I clearly approved.

Naturally, he only subjected my own clothes and underwear to this type of abuse. And I freaking loved it. There was something incredibly erotic about your partner ripping your clothes off in the throes of passion. As he rarely wore undies himself, it was mostly a non-issue on his end. But today—as with every time he dressed in a thigh-length vyn—he had tight, black briefs on to hide the goods. He simply lowered it enough to free his cock, then rammed himself in one powerful thrust.

I cried out against his lips, while he emitted an almost pained grunt. However, it wasn't the burn of his brutal possession that prompted that reaction from me, but the overwhelming wave of pleasure that had me almost instantly climaxing.

Considering his non-negligible girth, most other women would have likely required him to gradually work his way in. As a Guldan female, my inner walls were naturally made to stretch and quickly adjust. The reinforced lining—meant to resist us getting torn to shreds by the sharp tips of our baby's horns during pregnancy—also kept us from tearing or suffering any damage even under the most vigorous romps.

The best part was the network of ridges which covered the length of my inner walls. Each of them acted like the single bundle of nerves human females referred to as their G-spot. For us, a male didn't have to try and find it. The minute he penetrated us, his cock would rub multiple ones simultaneously. And Zerien's cock was certainly doing quite the number on them. Each stroke had electric sparks blasting throughout my nether region as he immediately set a punishing pace.

But those same ridges pushing me to the verge of ecstasy were also the reason our males zealously kept Guldan females locked on our homeworld. Of all known species, we were the only ones whose vaginal ridges undulated, squeezing and stroking a male's cock on all sides. We didn't even have to try to give our partner an orgasm. Our ridges did all the work for us. And by the way Zerien was grunting and growling as he pounded into me, they were wrecking him as much as he was wrecking me.

Still pumping in and out of me, he broke the kiss and buried his face in my neck, kissing, and sucking on my tender flesh. His fangs grazing my artery sent a violent shiver down my spine. A part of me wished he would bite me. Like the Xelixians, Sarenians possessed a venom which, when injected in small amounts, could enhance a partner's pleasure. But over the past two weeks, Zerien refused to use it—or his mind-control powers—on me. During our courting month, he wanted to make sure anything I did was totally consensual and without any form of external influence.

Then again, he didn't need chemical enhancements to make me fall apart. Too soon, the intense pleasure from his cock's relentless assault, exploded within me with a violence that left me reeling. I shouted as my orgasm swept through me and threw my head back. My wretched horns brutally stabbed the wall. They would undoubtedly leave two gaping holes. I should have been mortified, but in this instant, I was too busy flying high.

Anyway, they weren't the first ones I'd poked into the walls. There'd be plenty of time later to get them fixed.

I felt the violent tremor that rocked Zerien's body when my inner walls clamped down on his cock. He emitted a savage roar against my neck. For a split second, I stupidly thought he had surrendered to his own release. But this would never be enough for him.

He battled through it and continued pumping in and out of me with an unbridled passion, keeping me flying high. Hearing him starting to speak in Sarenian messed with my head. Although I understood and spoke his language quite fluently, we normally always spoke in Universal.

This was a clear indication that he was losing control… for me.

He was coming undone from the pleasure I was giving him. But it was the way he spoke my name with total adoration between an endless string of words of love that turned me upside down.

As my hands feverishly roamed over him, I quietly cursed the fact that his clothes and mine kept me from enjoying the burning feel of his bare skin against mine. However, there would be no sensual exploration of each other right now. My entire body was on fire. Zerien never gave me a chance to fully come back down before he had me cresting again.

Although I felt it coming, my climax crashed into me like a tsunami. My spine seized, and a single sharp cry escaped me. My skin tingled, and I felt dizzy as waves upon waves of bliss washed over me. Zerien's body jerked violently once or twice, then he slammed himself deep inside me. His hands behind my thighs, keeping me propped up against the wall, tightened in a bruising fashion, and he threw his head back as he echoed me, but with a powerful, feral roar.

His seed shot out in powerful spurts, filling me as my inner walls greedily continued to squeeze him, drawing out of him all that he had to offer. Zerien remained still for the first few seconds before resuming rocking in and out of me, at a much slower, gentler pace until he was spent. Through it all, he covered my face with kisses. He then reclaimed my mouth in a long and passionate kiss filled with so much love tears pricked my eyes.

He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against mine. His cock still buried inside me, my arms and legs tightly wrapped around him, we remained quietly in each other's embrace, savoring this moment of tenderness while our pulses slowed down.

After a few minutes, that still felt way too brief, Zerien lifted his head to lock eyes with me. Once again, the depth of emotions in his eyes had my throat tightening.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you, Siona? You are everything to me," he whispered with fervor.

"I love you, too, Zerien," I said, my voice shaky with emotion.

He smiled with infinite tenderness, his gaze roaming over my face as if he was trying to memorize my features. He gently caressed my right horn then, with much reluctance, pulled out of me before putting me back on my feet.

Despite feeling a little wobbly, my attention remained focused on the wonderful soreness between my thighs but also the pesky hollowness that always ensued once Zerien and I no longer were one.

This time though, a less pleasant wetness trickled down my inner thighs. I glanced down and frowned at the glistening trail that even found its way into my shoes. Peering back up, I playfully glared at him, while he stared at me with a shit-eating grin.

"Look at the mess you made!" I scolded him with false severity. "It's even gotten into my shoes!"

"Apologies, my mate," Zerien replied with an obvious lack of sincerity. "But it's your fault for feeling so incredibly good! That said, I will endeavor to do better in the future."

"Oh?" I said, curious.

He nodded and placed his hands on my waist. His gaze lowered while both his thumbs caressed the sides of my stomach.

"I cannot let my seed go to waste like this. I want you pregnant as soon as possible," he continued, some of the playfulness giving way to a more serious tone.

His words struck me like a boulder to the chest. I stiffened, and my stomach dropped. His frown almost sent me into a panic. I schooled my features, forced myself to smile in response, then bowed down to remove my shoes. It gave me a few precious seconds to regain my composure.

When I straightened, he was still staring at me with a slightly confused expression.

I smiled again, hoping it would look playful. "I better go clean up."

Without waiting for his response, I headed to the en suite hygiene room inside our bedroom. To my dismay, Zerien followed me. My pulse picked up, and my mind raced as I frantically searched for the right answers to the questions I feared he would soon ask. My fiancé's wretched observation skills were kicking in again. He was always far too perceptive—a great skill to have for a future Emperor, but not so much when you were on the receiving end.

I had meant to hop into the shower to give myself a bit more time to clear my thoughts and decide how I would handle the topic I had delayed for much too long. Zerien following me took that option away. I almost asked him to grant me some privacy. But as we often showered together, me requesting him to leave would confirm we had an issue.

It shamed me to keep secrets from him. From the moment we met, six years ago, we promised we would always be truthful with each other. It was never my intention to be deceptive, but it never seemed like the right time to bring it up, not to mention I had no idea how to word it properly.

Not wanting to strip—which would leave me feeling even more bare and exposed—I grabbed a washcloth instead, poured some hot water over it and started washing my inner thighs. Zerien stood next to me, his gaze intense as he studied my features.

"What's wrong?" he asked in a gentle tone.

I gave him a smile that felt fake even to me and shook my head. "Nothing's wrong."

His scowl deepened, and his expression hardened. "Don't lie to me. Your mood changed when I said I wanted you pregnant as soon as possible. Why?"

I swallowed hard and rinsed the washcloth while trying to gather my thoughts… and failing miserably. I wasn't ready for this conversation, but there clearly was no avoiding it anymore.

"Siona?" Zerien said, sounding slightly offended when I failed to respond and simply resumed washing my inner thighs.

I heaved a deep sigh, threw the washcloth into the sink, and rested my palms at the edge of the counter, feeling defeated. He stood quietly, waiting for me to speak. His reflection in the mirror as he stared at me revealed the extent of the tension stiffening his body.

Taking a deep breath, I turned sideways to face him and lifted my chin with a bit of defiance to hide the guilt gnawing at me.

"I can't get pregnant right now," I said, surprised by the firmness with which I spoke the words. "I have a contraceptive implant."

Zerien visibly recoiled. Shock, confusion, and a sense of betrayal warred for dominance on his features.

"What?!"

The way he whispered that word, the depth of the hurt and disbelief it contained cut me to the core. Anger would have been easier to manage.

"We have one month of courting before I make a decision about us getting married," I said defensively. "It doesn't make sense for me to get pregnant before our union is confirmed."

The words scorched my lips. But the look on his face clawed at my heart. Time stretched indefinitely as he just stood there staring at my face as if it held the answer to a mystery that eluded him. But hurt continued to dominate.

"Right," he said at last, his voice so devoid of emotion he might as well have been an android. "I thought this month was merely a formality to pacify your father. I thought you wanted a future with me as much as I want one with you."

"Oh, but I do!" I exclaimed, the sincerity unmistakable in my voice. "I love you with all my heart. I've never thought of or looked at another man since the day we met. There can never be anyone else but you for me."

"And the same is true for me where you are concerned," Zerien said forcefully. "So why the implant?"

Feeling annoyed, I shook my head with a mix of discouragement and irritation. "I literally just turned eighteen two weeks ago! You and I just finally got together as a couple in the real sense of the term. Shouldn't we enjoy a little bit of bonding time without having a bunch of kids to take care of?"

My chest constricted at his horrified expression. By the way he was looking at me, you'd think I'd turned into a nightmarish creature, something that defied logic or comprehension.

"I need an heir!" he said in a tone that made it obvious I should know better.

I huffed and waved a dismissive hand. "Okay, you need heirs, but what's the rush? We could wait at least a year. We're still kids ourselves! Or at least I am," I amended when his expression grew even more outraged. "I'm not ready to raise children!"

"And that's specifically why Matriarchs and Patriarchs raise our younglings on Sarenia!" Zerien exclaimed, shock filling his voice. "There would be no burden for us! You know this. We've talked about this!"

I shook my head with a stubborn expression. " I want to raise my own children when I'm ready."

My stomach knotted as his expression darkened, shock and hurt gradually giving way to anger. I swallowed past the lump in my throat, berating myself for not bringing up the topic in a more sensitive way and leading him on for so long about it. Knowing how ugly that discussion would be, I had just been a coward and postponed it as much as I could so that we could enjoy as much of our time together as possible.

Smiling in an appeasing fashion, I carefully approached him and raised a hand to touch his chest. He took a step back, as if the prospect of my contact repulsed him. The look on his face hurt me deeper than any harsh word he might have spoken.

"Wait a year?" he whispered in a dangerously low voice. "You want me to wait another fucking year after I've already waited six of them? I should have half a dozen kids right now, but I don't because I remained faithful to you. And for what? For this?!"

I hugged myself and lowered my eyes in shame.

He ran a hand over the short ring of horns on his head and through his long midnight blue hair, his expression alternating between confusion and anger as he tried to make sense of it.

"Where is this even coming from? You've known all along what my expectations were," he demanded. "It's not like I'm springing this on you out of nowhere. We discussed this. You agreed to it! So what the fuck is this?!"

I nodded stiffly, shame burning my cheeks. "You're right. You always made your expectations clear, and I did agree. Honestly, I didn't have a problem with it back then, but it also was really far away. Now that reality is sinking in, it's different. Like you said, you have already waited six years. What's an extra year?"

"Do you not realize the Great War is less than four years away?" Zerien asked as if he was doubting my intelligence.

"I'm fully aware," I snapped back, annoyed by his tone. "Which means even if I pop out three babies this year like you want me to, they'll still barely be three years old by the time it begins. So what does it matter? Whether there are two or three, they'll still be too young to rule."

"It matters because their birth will provide hope!" Zerien snarled back. "They are the insurance of continuity, and above all they are my duty. You of all people should know this."

"I'm not a fucking broodmare!" I shouted, this time allowing my anger to take over.

Zerien recoiled. This time, the hint of contempt that flashed in his eyes truly hurt.

"You're no more a broodmare than I am a stallion," he retorted. "Or is that what you would label your brother Dheran, or your ruler Keran? Did they not sire two heirs each to ensure the continuation of their bloodlines? I, too, am under pressure to have children."

I rolled my eyes. "It's not the same at all. Keran was forty-seven when he had his sons and Dheran was thirty-five. I'm just eighteen!"

"And the Great War is a handful of years away!" Zerien shouted. "I don't know that I will survive it! No Oracle can guarantee that I will live to see the end of it. I need an heir. Each passing year is another one wasted. Why do I even have to explain that to you? You grew up on Braxia. Their ways are the same as ours. It is your duty as my Queen, just like it's my duty as Emperor!"

"Then maybe I'm not ready to be Queen," I spat angrily. "I didn't sign up for all that. All I wanted was to be with my soulmate."

A part of me wished I could take back those last words, yet another was glad I finally spoke them. Zerien stood there silently, staring as if he was seeing me for the first time. My stomach dropped when he just shook his head, turned on his heel, and walked out of the hygiene room without a word.

I almost chased after him but forced myself to remain here. We both needed a moment to cool down and gather our thoughts. Obviously, I wasn't unreasonable and understood why he would feel angry and betrayed. I just wish he would try to meet me halfway on this. I took a couple of minutes to finish cleaning myself then stepped back inside our bedroom.

He looked regal as he stood by one of the large reflective windows, peering at the concourse below. He didn't glance my way as I carefully approached. When he continued to stare ahead quietly, I licked my lips nervously before trying to plead some more with him.

"I know you're disappointed and feel blindsided since I had agreed before. And I'm sorry that my words upset you. But I'm not ready for this. I'm only asking for a bit more time," I said in a soft voice.

"I don't have it to give," he said in a factual tone devoid of any emotion.

He turned to face me, and the coldness in his eyes chilled me to the bone. The man I fell in love with and who had been showering me with love and devotion was nowhere to be seen in the stranger before me.

"You say you simply want to be with your soulmate? He happens to be an Emperor. Have you forgotten that I ascend in one month? What do you expect will happen then? Do you think this is what our lives will be like?" he asked, waving at the room. "You think we'll be spending our time going out, having fun, attending parties, eating in fancy restaurants, and playing tourist?"

I stiffened and clenched my teeth, stung by the sarcastic way he spoke those words.

"Of course not."

"Really?" he challenged, his voice dripping with doubt. "You do realize that I wake up at night to work? That I've seriously fallen behind on my duties to woo you? That I'm killing myself to try and give you the best possible honeymoon right now because I know I won't be able to give it to you later?"

I swallowed hard and hugged myself again, the heat of shame creeping back on my cheeks. He didn't need to tell me that, as I had indeed noticed how hard he was trying not to allow his duties to interfere with our time together.

"I need a Queen, Siona, not a girlfriend."

My chest constricted upon hearing the pleading undertone that seeped into his voice. Eyes pricking, I gave him an apologetic look.

"I love you, Zerien. But I'm not ready to be what you need."

His devastated expression, the look of pure pain that descended over his handsome features tore me to shreds. He shook his head and took a couple of slow steps away from me as if he could no longer stand to be in my presence.

"Maker," he whispered. "You are truly still a child."

That angered me. And I gladly embraced it. Anger was a lot easier to handle than guilt.

"Not being ready to live the life of a Queen does not make me a child!" I snapped. "A relationship is a two-way street. You can't just waltz in and demand that everything be done your way regardless of my own wishes and aspirations."

"That's true for regular couples. I'm the fucking Crown Prince. That means my duty comes first!" he retorted in a clipped tone before shaking his head with an air of disgust. "I guess your father was right after all about demanding this trial period."

My blood turned to ice. "What does that mean?"

"I need an heir, Siona," he ground between his teeth. "Do you realize that I've been asked to step down over the past six years because I wouldn't fulfill my duty out of loyalty to you? I cannot wait anymore for you to be ready."

"Again, what does that mean?" I insisted, my stomach twisting painfully.

My heart shattered into pieces at the sad look he gave me.

"I love you, Siona. I always will. But I can no longer shirk my duties. Therefore I'm releasing you from your pledge to me," Zerien said in a pained voice.

I gaped at him in disbelief, shock quickly giving way to anger again.

"You're breaking up with me because I don't want to have children now?" I exclaimed, stunned.

He shook his head with a sad look. "No, Siona. I'm breaking up with you because you're not ready to be my mate. Babies are but one component of the issue. For the past two weeks, I pretended not to see how you closed off each time I spoke of the life that awaited you and the duties that would come along with it as my Queen. It is not an easy life. And it's definitely one that you cannot do if you don't want it. It's now beyond obvious to me that you don't. You being Guldan was already making it a bigger challenge, especially since my people wanted a Sarenian female for me."

I recoiled, refusing to believe he was saying what I thought he was. "So you're dumping me to go back and marry one?!"

"No!" Zerien said forcefully. "I will never marry anyone but you. But I need an heir."

This time, it was I who glared at him with contempt as understanding finally dawned on me, confirming my greatest fears.

"So now that you got what you wanted and got bored with me, you're seizing this excuse to go back and fuck every Sarenian female?" I snapped.

The anger that descended over his features triggered the first spark of genuine fear I ever felt in his presence. I took two involuntary steps away from him when he bared his teeth at me and his fangs descended.

"If all I wanted was to fuck, I'd have fifty heirs by now. But I have none because, like a stupid fool, I remained faithful to you while you were playing me and lying to my face all along," he said, seething. "I have no use for an immature brat by my side. I need a Queen, which you clearly aren't. The day you finally grow up, feel free to holler at me. Until then, you will remain here until your father sends someone to take you home. As for me, I'm going back to Sarenia, where I belong."

I felt faint, panic surging through me. "I'm not staying here while you're—!"

"You will stay in this fucking suite until your father or brother sends guards to take you back home!" he shouted.

A sense of dread washed over me upon hearing the supernatural vibration in his voice as he used his mind control for the very first time against me. His eyes flashed, sealing the command, and my skin tingled as I fell under his thrall.

Rooted in place by shock, I watched him take a few more steps away from me, pain, anger, and disgust plastered all over his face. Turning on his heel, he marched out of the bedroom. As the door closed behind him, I heard him angrily mutter under his breath.

"A child… Krygor sent me back a fucking child."