Chapter 13

Siona

P arting with my Braxian crew turned out to be even harder than I expected. As their vessel took flight, I couldn't help regretting not accepting their offer to remain with me on Sarenia for a few days while I adjusted to my new home.

Truth be told, I'd been more than tempted to agree. However, I was committed to my relationship with Zerien and to embracing my role as his future queen. It was time for me to spread my own wings and stop relying on others to prop me up. It also felt disrespectful towards my mate, as if to say I didn't trust him to keep me safe amidst the snake nest I just landed in.

Granted, I doubted Zerien would perceive it that way, but the other Sarenians would more than likely perceive this as yet another sign of weakness and of me being unworthy to reign over their people by his side.

Apprehension twisted my insides at this stark reminder that I had no friend or ally here. Aside from Nemrox and Eldrin, nobody liked me, least of all Kaelin.

Can I even survive this mess?

I couldn't allow myself to be defeated by this type of negative thinking. If I started dwelling on such dark thoughts, I would quickly spiral out of control and go into a full-on panic attack. Over the upcoming days and weeks, I intended to make full use of the focus and meditation techniques my father taught me as part of my warrior training.

I might be young and isolated in a foreign world, but I wasn't weak or helpless. Anyone who tried to undermine me would soon find out why Fate deemed me Zerien's soulmate.

As we headed towards Zerien's wing of the palace, I let my gaze roam over our surroundings. During my short stay on Sarenia, after Faolen first abducted my father, mother, and me, I did not enter this section of the palace. My mother and I had resided in the palace's Serail. The Serails were establishments where single females open to non-committed, intimate encounters with various partners resided. It had initially shocked me that we would be sent there as if we were sex workers—which hadn't quite been wrong in my mother's case—I soon realized how little I understood their culture.

Sex meant absolutely nothing to the Sarenians. It was as common a form of entertainment as playing a ball game or watching a movie with someone you liked. The Serail provided a safe environment for the females who lived in comfort with a supportive community. Residing there also did not obligate them to grant their favors to whoever showed up asking for it. They could refuse anyone, at any time, without concern about their wishes being ignored.

I still struggled with that free mentality, but I respected the fact that it worked for their society. Above all, it helped manage the excessive libido and predatory instinct their people now possessed following the experiments performed on them by the Korletheans a few generations back.

Just like the Serail, the palace boasted soft pastel colors, mostly light beige, off white, and pale earthy tones. It sharply contrasted with the far more ominous colors preferred in the Braxian culture. Back home, maroon and dark grays to black color palettes dominated. Despite that, Braxians still managed to make their dwellings look inviting instead of oppressive thanks to their excellent lighting and large windows.

Where the architecture and design of my father's homeworld, with their straight lines and sharp edges, screamed strength and discipline, the gentle curves of both the walls and furniture, the tall arches as well as the soothing colors here on Sarenia gave a sense of peace and harmony. Considering the violent nature that Sarenians struggled with, I could only presume that this architectural direction played an aspirational role seeking to help them overcome this challenge forced upon them.

I heaved a sigh of relief when Kaelin left our little group with her son, the other members of his counsel also peeling off along the way until only my mate, his guards, and I remained as we traipsed through the wide corridors to what would become my new home.

After living in my father's compound, residing in our own wing of the palace wouldn't be all that different. Still, it pleased me tremendously knowing how many rooms would be entirely dedicated to us, granting us a modicum of privacy. As successful as my initial contact with Eldrin had been, I couldn't deny feeling relieved that he would be residing in a different area of the castle with his mother and caretaker Matriarch.

My heart melted at the thought of the little boy. Such an adorable little face! The identity of his sire was undeniable. Would my own child with Zerien bear a similar resemblance? The boy had been so sweet, so affectionate, the maternal instincts I didn't realize I possessed reared their heads again with a vengeance.

But will Kaelin try to poison him against me?

The jealous and insecure part of me wanted to cast her out of the palace and even of Zerien's Council. Would he even entertain that idea, let alone agree to it, if I asked? I didn't think my man would cheat on me with her—or anyone else for that matter. Whatever my insecurities, I trusted him implicitly. But I didn't trust Kaelin not to try something, especially now that she was the mother of Zerien's heir. She was a pureblood Sarenian, born to one of their most influential bloodlines, and already occupying one of the highest positions anyone could aspire to aside from Emperor.

If Zerien announced tomorrow that he was taking her as his bride instead, I didn't doubt the people would greatly rejoice.

Do I dare ask?

My stomach knotted further at that mere thought. Beyond the fact that he'd made it clear he believed Kaelin would be my most trusted ally here, I didn't want to offend him with that request. What if he interpreted it as a sign that I didn't trust him to remain faithful to me? And Kaelin would undoubtedly see such a request as proof that I was scared and feeling threatened by her.

I hated this. All of it...

We finally reached the entrance of our wing. It was magnificent with a large circular greeting hall with a domed ceiling with tinted glass. Giant statues of Sarenian females served as columns. The tallest ones with their arms arched as if reaching for each other framed the heavy set of ornate doors that led into our residence.

Under different circumstances, I would be marveling at the simplistic magnificence and elegance of the room the doors opened unto. The same pale colors greeted us in spacious rooms with a nearly four-meter-high ceilings. Intricate moldings decorated the corners of the ceiling, door frames and base of the walls. Like on Braxia, giant windows allowed plenty of light to come in, giving each room an almost dreamy aura as the rays reflected on the pale surfaces within.

Despite that, plenty of splashes of color made the place warm and inviting instead of overly sedated.

Once we entered, Drade nodded at Zerien, before making a discreet exit, standing outside to stand watch with Naax. As soon as the door closed behind him, I turned to my mate with a needy expression. He didn't say a word and simply drew me into his embrace.

I melted against him and buried my face in his neck. He kissed my forehead then rested his cheek on top of my head while gently caressing my hair in a soothing fashion. I hated this display of weakness, but I really needed his strength right this instant.

We remained like this for the Goddess only knew how long before I finally heaved a sigh and reluctantly pulled away from him. A wave of guilt washed over me upon noticing the concerned look on his face as he studied my features.

"I'm okay," I said in a reassuring tone. "I just felt a little overwhelmed there for a minute. But everything is fine. I just needed a hug from my man."

Although he smiled and gently caressed my cheek, I could tell he wasn't convinced.

"In the words of the most beautiful female in the world, your mate will always have a hug ready for you whenever you want one."

I snorted and melted against him once more to hear him echo the words I spoke to his son. He kissed my lips then rubbed his nose against mine.

"He's incredibly adorable," I said, wistfully thinking of little Eldrin. "He looks just like you."

Zerien nodded, a dreamy expression settling on his face as he smiled proudly while thinking of his son. "He does, doesn't he? And like his father, he likes you very much."

"The feeling is mutual," I said sincerely. "Too bad I don't share the same chemistry with his mother."

I kicked myself as soon as the words crossed my lips. I didn't mean to start attacking her and putting Zerien between a rock and a hard place. With his impending coronation, the rebel scourge, and the looming Great War, being forced to play referee between his Queen and the Head of his Council was the last thing he needed.

"My sister and Kaelin can be a little abrasive at times and do not grant their friendship easily. But I promise you, things will get better, and they will grow to love you as I do. It's unfair of me to ask so much of you, so quickly. If I could, I would ease you into this whole thing at a much gentler pace. You may not see it now, but I have no doubt Kaelin and you will become great friends. She's a wonderful and loyal female. Please give her a chance," he said in a pleading tone.

I gave him a reassuring smile. "You seem to forget I've spent the past six years living among Braxians. I know a thing or two about abrasive people. I'm sure she and I will figure it out."

Zerien snorted even as he nodded. "Those beasts can be challenging," he said teasingly, although I didn't miss the glimmer of gratitude in his silver-blue eyes. "I love you, Siona. You're stronger than you realize. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you alone here surrounded by so much hostility. But I can tell you that you made a great first impression. It will take time, but people will soon see why you will be Sarenia's greatest Queen of all time."

"No pressure," I mumbled to hide how much his words moved me.

"But hey, it beats being Vahleryon Praghan who is supposed to lead an intergalactic coalition through the Great War," Zerien said teasingly.

"Ugh, no kidding," I said with a shudder. "I cannot begin to imagine what it must have been like spending his entire youth knowing what a great burden rested on his shoulders. He's still just sixteen. But I hear he's a force to be reckoned with."

"He is," Zerien replied with a serious expression. "He's an old soul. As are his siblings. The first time I met him, two years ago, I realized I'd finally met the one person who made me feel intimidated and who could potentially defeat me in single combat."

"You don't get along?" I asked with a sliver of worry.

He smiled and shook his head. "Not at all. We stir each other's territorial and predatory instincts, but I love him like a brother. I will gladly follow him into the Great War."

"Good! And what of his twin sister, Zharina? Gavin is chomping at the bit to finally be able to be with her once she turns eighteen."

His smile broadened. "She's formidable, and the perfect match for your nephew. Zhara is smart, ruthless, insanely powerful, but also incredibly compassionate. She won't hesitate to put her life on the line to save others. But fuck with those she loves, and she will literally tear your soul right out of your body and watch it decay."

"So it's true? She can rip someone's soul right out of them?" I asked, amazed.

He nodded. "Yup. She'll pluck it right out and discard it like so much refuse. But she can also catch the soul of someone freshly deceased, hold it in stasis while she mends their body before returning it inside. That's how she saved Xevius —Kamala's mate—when he was assassinated in front of the Korlethean Omniates."

"She sounds like a good friend to have. I'm happy for Gavin," I said sincerely.

Zerien snorted. "I'm both happy and sorry for him. She's the only daughter with three brothers. Her fathers, Khel and Lhor, not to mention her uncle First Officer Ghan, are going to make Gavin's life a living nightmare. What headaches your father put me through to finally claim you will be nothing in comparison to what they'll subject him to."

I chuckled, feeling both amused and sympathetic for my nephew. "I can see that. But you know Gavin, he can charm anyone. He'll be fine."

"I'm sure he will," Zerien said before taking my hand and giving me a tour of our dwelling.

It was an impressive wing of twelve rooms: four bedrooms—each with their own en suite hygiene rooms and walk-in closets—two offices, two living areas—one formal and one private for the family—a kitchen, a dining room, a recreation room, and a meditation room. Each living area led to a massive terrace with direct access to our own private garden. Surrounding it, a river snaked around the garden, dividing each wing of the palace.

It was in that closed river that I would be expected to give birth to our children, where they would finish their maturation from tadpole to full child.

Although I had my own bedroom, I naturally would share Zerien's. To my delight, the servants had already brought my personal belongings while I was being introduced to everyone.

"This place is gorgeous. I love it," I said sincerely once we completed the tour.

"I'm glad you like it," Zerien replied with a grin. "But feel free to make any modification you would like, whether the furniture or the actual layout of the rooms. Kaelin will be able to help you select the workers needed to get it done."

"Okay," I said, my cheerful mood slightly dampened by the reminder of Kaelin.

"Unfortunately, I have to abandon you," Zerien said sheepishly as we circled back to the entrance hall of our dwelling.

"Already?!" I exclaimed, crestfallen.

"Yes. I left unexpectedly to join you after the kidnapping attempt. That forced me to leave urgent matters on hold. I will try to make haste so that I may return to you," he said in an apologetic tone.

"Right, I understand," I said, forcing myself to silence my disappointment. "But it's okay. I have quite a bit of unpacking to do."

"I love you," Zerien said, giving me a deep and passionate kiss that had my toes curling before he took his leave.

A million thoughts swirled through my mind as I swiftly unpacked. Once done, I headed to the second office of executive proportions, which Zerien deemed to be mine. I set up my laptop and placed a couple of holographic portraits of my family on top.

A powerful wave of longing hit me hard. It was too early for me to be homesick. But the real challenge was how lonely and isolated I felt. For now, I could only hope I would have a good relationship with the two Korletheans who joined Zerien's court. I previously met Killian, the powerful Korlethean Seer with a particular knack for getting visions with political ties. Our interactions had been cordial, but we didn't have any relationship per se. After all, at the time, I'd only been the daughter of a Braxian Councilor.

But it was Deliah that gave me the most hope. The Korlethean Oracle showed a bit of sympathy towards me when Nemrox introduced us earlier. She married Faolen, the Hunter who originally kidnapped my mother, father, and me. As Korletheans were still hated by Sarenians, she could be a kindred spirit for me.

A ringing sound startled me. It took me a second to realize it was the door chime. A quick glance at my armband indicated that two hours had lapsed since I started unpacking. Heart pounding, I hurried to the entrance wondering who it might be. I'd declined Zerien's offer to have a live-in servant as I didn't need to be waited on hand and foot. Maybe later once I felt more welcomed here and found someone I could trust to lurk around all day, I might revise that position.

A part of me hoped Deliah would be the one standing behind that door, but my gut told me otherwise. As soon as I opened it, my heart sank upon seeing Kaelin's far-too-beautiful face. To my surprise, a tray ladened with food and drinks hovered next to her.

"I'm not hungry," I blurted out before my brain had time to fully process the situation.

My cheeks felt on the verge of bursting into flames from embarrassment when she raised an unimpressed eyebrow at that rather rude greeting.

"Hello to you, too, Siona," she replied dismissively before squeezing past me to enter our dwelling. "But don't worry. Each plate is temperature-controlled. You can eat it later once you're hungry."

"Excuse me?!" I exclaimed with disbelief as I watched her strut her way towards the formal living area.

"It will take some time, but I'm sure I eventually will," she nonchalantly said over her shoulder while I hurried after her.

I blinked, even more confused by her nonsensical response. "What?"

Kaelin stopped in front of the large low table in the middle of the living area surrounded by a four-cushion couch, a plush chair, a love seat, and a settee all made of light wood and a luxurious beige fabric I didn't know. She looked at me with a slightly aggravated expression as if she couldn't believe how dense I was.

"I accept your apology, but it will take me time to process and digest it," she replied coolly.

My jaw dropped from shock, and my brain froze for half a beat. "I most certainly do not owe you any apologies!" I exclaimed at last.

"Oh, but you do," Kaelin replied in a stern voice while placing the contents of the hover tray on top of the low table. "And you especially owe one to Zerien. At least, you snapped out of whatever madness had overtaken you and finally came."

What in the Goddess' name is going on here?!

Acting as if she owned the place while I stood there too numb to react, Kaelin sat down on the couch and started pouring a hot beverage into one of the two cups on the tray.

"Tea?" she asked me with the cordial politeness one would expect from a hostess to her guest.

"I did not invite you inside my home or welcome you to sit!" I exclaimed.

"Which was quite rude," Kaelin said while giving me the type of pointed look a mentor would give a disappointing pupil, before gesturing at the loveseat across the table from her. "But I'm not going to stand for the long talk you and I must have. Therefore, do us both a favor and sit down, little girl. We're stuck together and have much to do. So we might as well pierce the abscess now."

Fury surged within me while I fought the urge to walk over and bitchslap her pretty face. If she thought she was going to assert dominance in my own home, she had another think coming. I crossed my arms over my chest to keep my hand from fisting and giving her what her audacity rightfully called for.

"First off, you're only two years older than me. So simmer down about the whole ‘little girl' business," I said in a clipped tone. "Second, we don't have to be stuck together. No one is keeping you here against your will. You're welcome to fuck off."

She waved a dismissive hand. "Age is just a number. People's actions spell their maturity level, which you clearly lack. And yes, we're stuck with each other. No matter how much you may wish for it, I'm not going anywhere."

I stared at her, flabbergasted by her delusional sense of entitlement and self-importance.

"You think Zerien would choose you over me? You think you'd be a better Queen for him than I?" I asked disbelievingly.

She took a sip of her tea, leaned back in her seat, and casually crossed her legs while studying me with a slightly mocking expression.

"That's a silly question. Obviously, right now, I would be a much better Queen than you," Kaelin replied in a self-evident fashion.

"So you do want him for yourself!" I hissed.

To my surprise, she rolled her eyes and looked at me as if the level of my stupidity defied any logic.

"I don't want your man, you silly little girl. Do I love Zerien? Yes, absolutely. Just like he loves me. We've loved each other since our childhood and always will. Nothing you can say or do will ever change that," Kaelin said with a conviction that tore me to shreds. "However, we are not in love with each other. Never have been, and never will be. So stop wasting your time and energy on that nonsense."

That knocked the wind out of me. Of all the things I'd expected to come out of her mouth, this had not featured anywhere on the list.

"Did he and I have a fling? Yes, we did, as is obvious by the existence of our son. On Sarenia, everyone fucks everyone else at some point. For Zerien and me, it was just that. It ended over eight years ago, which is more than a year before he ever even met you. Since then, Zerien hasn't looked at a single other female. Anyone of us with eyes can see that you two are in perfect harmony. You're his soulmate. So to answer your first question, yes, Zerien will always pick you. He would take his own life before even contemplating cheating on you. And this is exactly why I'm not going anywhere, and why we're both stuck with each other."

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked in a much more subdued tone, my mind reeling by this unexpected turn to the conversation.

"Sit down," she said in a slightly tired voice while gesturing with her chin at the love seat across from her.

This time, my instinctive need to challenge her apparent propensity to tell me what to do remained silent. Too curious for her to clarify her meaning, I merely complied. I took a seat, my back stiff with tension. The glimmer of approval in her light blue eyes did something strange to me. This female was giving me whiplash, and I couldn't parse out the conflicting emotions she was now stirring within me.

"The minute I realized Eldrin was mine, I knew it would be a problem for an off-worlder female," she continued in a conversational tone. "You strangers don't think like Sarenians. But that's only one part of the issue. You have far more enemies here than you realize. Without my guidance, you will be royally fucked, and in more ways than one."

"No one is irreplaceable," I said in a slightly haughty tone, my pointed look at her making my underlying meeting clear.

She snorted. "In this instance, I am not replaceable. Under different circumstances, you'd be correct. Someone else might have stepped in. It would have been a lot more painful for the both of you, but things might have worked out."

"And what makes you so special? The fact that you're Eldrin's mother?" I challenged.

"No. Like I said, off-worlders often fail to understand our societal structure. Few of us raise our own offspring. Better suited people like our Matriarchs and Patriarchs oversee those critical first years of a child's life. I do not need to live in the palace to be a mother to him. It is common for the genitors of a child to simply visit with them while better suited people take care of rearing them."

"Then why are you irreplaceable?" I insisted.

A strange look fleeted over Kaelin's stunning face. She took another sip of tea, looking as if she was pondering how to answer my question or even whether to answer it at all. That further piqued my curiosity.

"Because as soon as we returned to the palace after finding Eldrin, I went to see the Oracle to help assess the best way to manage the situation going forward," Kaelin said in a factual manner. "Based on the rumors I've heard about how Guldan females treat the ex-wives of their partners, or the offspring born of previous unions or relations, it was my duty as both Eldrin's mother and Head of Zerien's Council to account for every potential outcome if and when you returned."

I flinched upon hearing that comment. Kaelin didn't know me and therefore had no reason to think me any different than other females of my species. While it would be an overly broad generalization, it wouldn't be a lie to say that we could be extremely cruel and ruthless on that front. My own biological father, Doruk Siddik, had been cast out by his mother once her first husband repudiated her. When she returned to her parents' house, she only had to acknowledge the boy that he had been back then for him to be taken care of by his grandparents. Instead, she reneged him, not only to no longer have the reminder of the cruel man she'd been married to, but also to make herself more appealing to the new suitors her parents were finding for her.

He spent many years all but starving on the street, suffering abuse and mistreatment at the hands of strangers and other abandoned children. It wasn't until Gruuk—the most influential slaver of our times, who also played a pivotal role in ensuring the survival of the Veredian race—that my sire's life turned around. After Gruuk took him under his wing, my father acquired great wealth, power, and influence.

But his painful youth also made him bitter and fueled his hatred of women. He'd only married my mother to elevate his status as she had been the daughter of an elite family. Like his father had done to him, Doruk cast my mother out once he was done with her. However, instead of returning her and me to her parents, my sire sold her into slavery.

"I am not like my grandmother," I said stiffly.

"So said Deliah, when I consulted her about the matter," Kaelin conceded with a shrug. "Once she probed the future, she also said that in every single scenario where I leave the palace, you die."

I gasped and stared at her in disbelief. She lazily rocked her crossed leg back and forth while allowing for her words to sink in. While I no longer quite knew how I felt about her, my gut said at a visceral level that she wouldn't lie about something like this, especially not something I could easily verify myself.

"And if you stay?" I asked in a subdued voice.

"In 85% of the cases where I stay, you live to see the Great War. Therefore, you and I are stuck together," she replied matter-of-factly.

I swallowed hard. Things were finally starting to make sense. No wonder Zerien was so desperate for me to get along with her.

"So Zerien demanded you stay to protect me," I concluded, surprised by the sliver of bitterness that seeped into my voice.

Kaelin snorted. "Not at all. He doesn't even know about it."

I stiffened and stared at her in shock. "What?! Why wouldn't you tell him?" I challenged, suspicion beginning to take root in the pit of my stomach. "Is this some kind of twisted lie?"

She flicked her long pale blue hair over her shoulder while giving me an unimpressed look. "It is not a lie. Feel free to ask Deliah yourself the next time you meet her. I'm certain you'll have plenty of discussions in the future. But Zerien has enough to deal with right now without this extra stress. He must focus on tracking down and eradicating the traitors trying to upend our Republic instead of hunting the shadows after you."

"If our roles were reversed, I would want to know that there is a threat looming over my soulmate," I argued, feeling outraged on Zerien's behalf.

"And what do you think that will accomplish?" Kaelin countered in a slightly mocking tone. "Deliah foresaw hundreds of different potential outcomes. Do you know how thinly he would need to stretch his resources just trying to account for each of them? Each change has its own trickle-down effect triggering more changes in an endless chain reaction that creates new situations to be countered. Where does it end? As the Head of his Council, and you as his future Queen, it is our duty to lift all the burdens that we can off his shoulders. The solution here is simple. I stay, you live."

My head understood what she said, and even agreed to a certain extent, but another part felt like it was a mistake to be secretive. And yet, there was no question my mate would go all out trying to protect me to the detriment of his other duties.

"So you see," Kaelin continued, "if I wanted to get rid of you or to take your place, I'd only have to leave and let destiny follow its course. Even if he knew of the Oracle's vision, Zerien couldn't force me to stay."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "You've made it abundantly clear that you don't like me and that you do not think me the best Queen for him. So why do you stay? Are you afraid he will find out?"

Instead of the outrage or defensive tone I expected her to take, Kaelin took on a serious expression that took me aback.

"Zerien is madly in love with you. I want him to be happy, and only you can do that for him. Fate chose you. To be honest, I don't get it. I don't see how you are the one for him," she said in a factual manner devoid of any disdain her words might have conveyed. "But I don't need to. Zerien will be the greatest Sarenian Emperor in history. You're his mate. That means somehow, you will also be our greatest Queen. It is not my place to question Fate."

"But you hate it," I countered, feeling inexplicably hurt by the fatalistic way she simply accepted what she would have preferred to be able to change. "Is it because I'm an off-worlder? A Guldan?"

She shrugged and waved a dismissive hand. "I don't care about that. Granted, you being a pureblood Sarenian would have been better, but not a deal breaker. Until the past few weeks, I was quite eager to meet the female who could put such a radiant smile on his face just by hearing her name. But I resent you for what you did to him."

I recoiled. "What I did to him?"

"You broke his heart," she hissed.

The sudden and almost violent anger descending over her previously stoic features threw me for a loop. In that instant, I realized the negativity she'd been projecting my way had nothing to do with petty jealousy or rivalry. A deep-seated anger, the type expressed by a furiously protective mama bear fueled her resentment of me.

"For years, his complete loyalty towards you undermined his authority. By Sarenian standards, he should have had more than half a dozen heirs by now. He had to fight to convince them to be patient so that he would honor his words to your father that he wouldn't claim you until you were eighteen. And when that day finally came, instead of returning in triumph with his young Queen, he came back in shame, alone, and with no explanation as to why. His detractors came at him even more fiercely, demanding he be deposed."

I hugged myself, a mix of shame and anger bubbling inside of me. These people didn't know me, didn't know us. I hated that my insecurities had put him in such a difficult position. I hated it even more that I'd been so focused on my own woes that I hadn't fully assessed how my actions would affect him. But surely she could understand how overwhelming this whole thing had been for me as well?

To my dismay, her anger only seemed to grow as she stared at me with an almost savage expression.

"Zerien is the fiercest, most ruthless predator I've ever known. This is what makes him our future ruler, my Emperor. But on the day he returned, he bawled like a fucking baby! I held him in my arms while he cried every tear of his body over you. OVER YOU!!"

I flinched, tears pricking my eyes at the thought I'd hurt him this much. In the days after his departure, I'd cried so much I'd made myself sick. Not once did I imagine he, too, might have been as devastated.

"You made him question his own worth," Kaelin continued mercilessly. "He wondered if maybe they were right, that he was too weak and unfit to rule, because he couldn't picture a life without you. You crushed him, and for what? Because you didn't want pregnancy to ruin your perfect figure?"

I jumped to my feet, outraged by such a scandalous assumption. "Absolutely not! That's not why I didn't want a child!"

"Then what was it? The first and most important duty of the ruling couple is to have heirs," Kaelin snapped. "As a Braxian, you better than anyone should know this."

"It doesn't matter now," I shouted back, angrily. "What's done is done. If I could go back, I'd deal with this entire mess differently. But Zerien has Eldrin now, a proper heir to follow in his steps. So all of this is moot."

Kaelin frowned, part of her anger giving weight to confusion. "A proper heir?" she echoed.

"Didn't he tell you?" I challenged angrily, the old shame resurfacing laced with resentment that she would force me to go through this entire ordeal once again.

"Tell me what?" she asked with a hint of irritation.

"I want to bear his children. In truth, I love big families and want to have many offspring. But what kind of child can he have with a Guldan?" I spat out while fighting back the tears prickling my eyes. "You say he has countless detractors. How do you think they will react once I start pushing out babies without power like me?"

For the first time, Kaelin looked completely speechless. The silence stretched for what felt like an eternity while she gaped at me, dumbfounded.

"Is that why you pushed him away?" she whispered, stunned. "You silly girl!"

I hugged my waist again and let myself drop back down on the love seat, feeling defeated. Despite my conversation with Zerien and my relief knowing that he would welcome our offspring whatever power they may or may not possess, I couldn't help still feeling lacking as a mother to his children.

Kaelin opened her mouth to say something then seemed to change her mind. I could see her wheels spinning while she gave me an assessing look.

"Your children will be fine," she suddenly said. "Sarenian genes are dominant. Even if your children end up having some Guldan traits, they will still have our powers. To this day, I do not know of any hybrid who has ever looked anything other than fully Sarenian. And believe me, it was one of the first things I investigated once you were confirmed as Zerien's future Queen."

It was my turn to be dumbfounded, even as a major wave of relief and hope surged through me.

"But… Why didn't Zerien tell me that?" I asked, baffled.

She shrugged. "Probably because he doesn't know. That's not something he would have worried about. I cannot believe you both went through such a separation over this."

I bristled at the dismissive way she spoke those words. "It was only one part of the problem, although the biggest one."

"What else troubles you?" she asked with genuine curiosity.

"You all hate me," I snapped, annoyed that my voice betrayed how much it actually affected me. I didn't want her to think me weaker and more vulnerable than she already believed. "You, Jastira, even the guards made it fairly clear you hate me."

She rolled her eyes. "Hate is a strong word. You haven't caused the type of harm that would justify such a powerful emotion. We only think you're unsuitable. And your little stunt didn't help. As with any newcomer, the burden is on you to prove yourself and earn our love and loyalty, not the other way around."

"Why should I?" I blurted out with a hint of defiance.

The disappointed way in which she pursed her lips and shook her head at me stung far more than I expected.

"See? This is why I call you a child," Kaelin said in a factual manner. "You cannot rule without loyalty. And Zerien cannot spend his time worrying about you because you're failing to secure any allies for yourself among his people. Your job is to be his rock and alleviate as many of his burdens as possible. Sure, it's not fair to you, but that's what being a true Queen is about. Your Mercy did the same for Ravik. You must be Zerien's Mercy. And I'll beat that into you if I must," she added with a slightly threatening dare.

I bristled again and clenched my teeth to bite back the urge to give her a piece of my mind. But she resumed speaking, taking away my opportunity to think of a clever comeback.

"You have a steep hill to climb," she continued this time with a somewhat friendlier tone. "But you earned quite a few points by escaping the Guldans on your own, and also by how you handled Eldrin. Had you rejected my son or been mean to him in any way, I would have left the palace and let you die."

I recoiled, and pressed a palm to my chest, shocked by the almost savage glimmer in her eyes.

"Children are sacred on Sarenia," she said as sole explanation.

"Children are innocent," I replied in a slightly defensive tone. "My stepfather wholly and openly accepted me as his own. I intend to do the same with any child Zerien might have sired already. I love children and would never make them pay for the actions of their parents."

"Good," Kaelin replied, this time with clear approval. "Our mutual feelings are irrelevant. If I must, I will gladly give my life to protect you for Zerien and for the sake of the Empire. You have entered a den of vipers. Whether you like it or not, I will be your only true friend until you secure more on your own. So you might as well start getting used to it."

"With such a charming personality, you're truly making it easy," I snarled.

She snorted, and her face softened with a mix of amusement and that same glimmer of approval.

"I only save my charm for the males I intend to bed. Your Braxians are lucky you released them so quickly. I wouldn't have minded sampling a few of them."

My jaw dropped upon hearing that crude statement. The worst part was that I genuinely believed she meant it. It would take me a while to get used to how free Sarenians were when it came to sexuality.

"For now, we must prepare you for your welcome reception tonight," Kaelin continued, totally unfazed by my shock. "Many will challenge you, especially the females who want to be Queen. Sharpen your tongue and be ready to show them why they can never take your place."