Chapter 6

six

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!” Savannah smoothed the fabric of the black dress along her curves as she stood in front of the restaurant door and stared at it. She had easily put on thirty pounds since her divorce, eating her worries and frustrations, but what did that even matter? Why was she dressing up? Why was she acting like this was a date?

This. Isn’t. A. Date.

She had to keep reminding herself of that.

Except it felt like a date. Those same nerves were bubbling in her stomach, the same fear or worry that she would do or say something wrong—again—came right back up into her throat and threatened to make her spew all over her black strappy heels. The same frustrations that she wasn’t good enough were already working overtime in her brain, and those only ever appeared when it had something to do with romantic relationships.

Fuck, her ex had done a number on her.

“And this isn’t a date,” she muttered to herself.

Holding her clutch tightly with one hand, Savannah pushed open the door with the other. Fallon had already texted that she was there, which meant Savannah was late, even though she was early. It meant that Fallon had waited for her when she shouldn’t have had to do that.

Fallon stood toward the edge of the front area, her legs deliciously poised, her strong calf muscles peeking out from under the edge of her dress, the heels she wore raising her up another couple inches at least. Savannah gulped.

This isn’t a date.

But for some reason, she really wanted it to be one. She wanted to know what Fallon would be like if they were actually trying to get to know each other for that purpose, if they were pining away after each other. Would Fallon flirt? Savannah wasn’t quite sure she could imagine that.

Fallon would be couth, calm, always in charge of whatever her reactions would be. She had been so far—well, outside of the cemetery, but that was because Savannah had taken her completely off guard. And even then, Fallon had been hard to read.

“Hey there,” Savannah said, her voice choking on the words. She cleared her throat as quietly as she could.

“Evening,” Fallon answered, her voice dropping before rising. She dropped her gaze down Savannah’s body and slowly trailed it back up before meeting Savannah’s eyes.

Gulping, Savannah took back everything she had thought before. Fallon would be forward as fuck if they were dating. There was no doubt of that now. Stepping up to the host, Savannah let them know her name for the reservation and that they were both there. Immediately, they were brought to the table.

With drinks ordered—wine for Fallon and a mixed drink for Savannah—they settled into their seats and stared awkwardly at the menus. What the hell were they supposed to talk about? Savannah hadn’t planned this out well enough at all. She should have thought this through more. They didn’t know each other. They didn’t have things in common. At least not as far as she was concerned. Fallon simply worked for the lawyer that Savannah had hired, and they’d met awkwardly at the cemetery when Savannah had crashed—

“Are we going to stare at each other all night or actually converse?”

Fuck, Fallon was right. Savannah really needed to pull herself together. “I suppose I’m struggling for a topic.”

“Of conversation?” Fallon raised an eyebrow as she picked up her glass of wine. “How about when you’ll try your next wine?”

Savannah wrinkled her nose before she could stop it. Fallon’s lips curled upward into a smile as she grinned broadly.

“Exactly what I thought.” With a chuckle, Fallon took another sip of her wine and settled back into her chair.

Savannah’s stomach churned again, but this time it was filled with curiosity and arousal. It had been a long time since she’d felt that. Making direct eye contact with Fallon, Savannah was determined to give as good as she got.

“And when will you try a mixed drink?” Savannah picked up her own glass, biting her lip and looking directly into Fallon’s dark brown eyes as she took a long, slow sip. Was she actually flirting with someone? It almost didn’t feel real.

“We’ll have to see now, won’t we?” Fallon winked and then froze, as if catching herself being out of character.

Savannah held onto that. If Fallon was relaxing, even a little, around her, then she was going to call that a win. She didn’t suspect that Fallon was someone who relaxed even the slightest, ever. Not after seeing her the few times they’d met.

“I am sorry about your brother. I’m not sure I’ve said that yet.”

“Oh.” Tears sprung into Savannah’s eyes. “Thank you. And I’m sorry about your parents.”

“Don’t be sorry for him.” Fallon’s face hardened. “He doesn’t deserve any pity.”

Savannah nodded slowly. “All right, then I won’t.”

Fallon spun her wine glass in a circle on the table with two fingers. It was as if this was her tic of discomfort. Savannah had picked up on it when they’d gone to the wine bar before. She grasped for some kind of topic, something to ease them into a more gentle conversation.

“I had forgotten how catty girls could be in elementary school. Brinley has a fourth grader who won’t stop bullying her.”

“Girls can be cruel at any age,” Fallon said, her voice distant. When Savannah looked up, Fallon stared into her wine glass.

“Yeah, they can be. I try to keep my girls in line with that, and show them how to support each other.”

Fallon frowned.

“At work, because I work with a lot of girls.” Savannah squinted. “I run a figure skating company, one that trains girls for the elites.” Savannah hesitated, wondering if repeating information that Fallon had forgotten would be helpful in any way or if it’d put her off.

“Right.” Fallon sucked in a sharp breath. “I never had an interest in having children. I didn’t think it would be fair, and I didn’t want to repeat mistakes.”

“That’s understandable.” Savannah played her fingers over her napkin, worried that she was going to make a wrong step in this conversation. “When I was younger, I wanted a slew of kids. One right after the other. But after Brinley was born, my ex shifted, and the thought of bringing another child into that was unimaginable.”

“Did he hit you?” Each word was like a dart to Savannah’s heart.

“No.” Savannah frowned. “Sometimes I wish he had. Then maybe someone would have believed me sooner—or better. Or I would have believed it sooner.” She mumbled the last part.

Fallon nodded slowly, sipping her wine again. “Abuse comes in all forms.”

“It does,” Savannah agreed. She hadn’t meant to bring such a downer of a subject to the table, but there was something about Fallon that allowed her to go deeper than she normally did with anyone else, even Kyla. Then again, since Conrad, Savannah had avoided relying on Kyla. She didn’t want to tax her sister-in-law too much or put her under any more stress than necessary.

“But you got out. Something my mother only managed to do in death.” Fallon tilted her wine glass toward Savannah and knocked back the rest of the liquid.

Was every conversation this morbid between them?

Perhaps it was all because of how they’d met.

Savannah drank as she pondered. Their food arrived soon enough, and she was cutting through her steak when Fallon rolled her shoulders and blew out a breath. “I brought my aunt here a while ago. She’s not into fine dining, but she puts up with it because I like it.”

“She doesn’t like it?”

“Too rich for her.” Fallon’s lips twitched. “Tia is down to earth in every sense of the word.”

“Is she? And you didn’t inherit any of that from her, I suppose.”

“None.” Fallon chuckled. “None at all.”

“I hope Brinley inherits a whole lot more from me than from her father.” Savannah saw the wince in Fallon’s gaze, but she didn’t want to explore it. Was it simply because she’d talked about her ex being not the greatest person in the world? Or was it a reminder of Fallon’s own father? “I wanted Brinley to have the sibling experience that I had.”

“It’s not always a good experience,” Fallon commented, pushing a piece of food between her lips as she chewed.

“It’s not, but overall I think it’s a worthwhile experience. Conrad and I were super close. Then again, twins usually are.”

Fallon paused, her hand frozen on its way to her mouth. “I didn’t realize you were twins.”

Savannah nodded. “Yeah. And he was older, since everyone asks that.”

“Wasn’t going to.”

“Still, admit it, you were curious.” Savannah eyed Fallon carefully, watching every nuanced change in her body language and face.

Fallon gave no indication that she truly was curious about that question. But Savannah was so used to answering it that she couldn’t stop herself from anticipating.

“You know what I am curious about.” Fallon eyed Savannah over the rim of her glass. “If you were to make me a mixed drink, what exactly would you make me?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Do you have a preference on alcohol?” The words were out of Savannah’s lips before she could stop herself. This tug and pull from serious to easy conversation was exactly what she’d needed. It allowed her to touch on her grief, remember something good, and then dragged her right back into the reality of the moment she was currently living in. It was perfect. Whether Fallon had planned it that way or not, this was exactly what she’d needed so many times in the past. Why couldn’t anyone else provide that?

“What do you have?”

“What do I…” Savannah trailed off, her brain working double time to catch up. “What do you mean what do I have ?”

“At your place.”

“Are you inviting yourself over to my apartment?” Savannah’s jaw nearly hit the floor. She was back to the confident and flirtatious Fallon. Savannah’s head was doing her in. Her heart couldn’t stop the flutter. Just what exactly was next?

“What type of alcohol do you have?”

“Just about everything.” Savannah leaned in, placing her hand on the table. “Are you serious?”

Fallon lifted her shoulder in a slight shrug, her lips still playing at a tender smile that Savannah longed to see more of. She seemed so icy, so perfectly put together most of the time, that she was pretty sure Fallon wouldn’t ever break. Except now there were cracks.

Was Fallon enjoying herself just as much as Savannah was?

“I don’t have Brinley tonight, so it’d be a perfect night to come over.”

“Is that an invitation?” Fallon finished her second glass of wine as the waiter came to clear her plate.

That had been smooth. Savannah had barely even noticed that Fallon had done it. Yes, she’d been bold initially, but now Savannah had all but issued the invitation. And she didn’t want to take it back. “What would we talk about?”

“Anything you want,” Fallon responded.

Savannah’s heart tripled its rate for one quick moment before it plummeted. This isn’t a date! Savannah had to remember that, because she wasn’t here for that. She was here for friendship—something that they could find together in their shared grief. Something that Savannah had struggled to find with anyone else, and something she absolutely couldn’t burden Kyla with.

“Then yes,” Savannah whispered. “Come back to my place, and I’ll make you whatever drink you want.”

“That’s not what we agreed to.” Fallon shifted in her seat, leaning in and making sure that Savannah was looking directly at her. “We agreed that you would make me a drink of your choice.”

“All right. I can do that.”

“Good.” Fallon pursed her lips and waved the waiter down. She smoothly slid her card over to pay for the meal. “Text me your address.”

“What?” Savannah blinked twice. Was she losing her mind?

“Text me your address.”

Shaking, Savannah pulled her phone out of her clutch and did as she was told. Fallon glanced at her phone and nodded toward Savannah. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

“What?”

“I’ll meet you at your apartment.” Fallon canted her head to the side, her dark hair falling over her shoulder in gentle waves.

Savannah bit the inside of her cheek, trying to convince herself that this wasn’t a dream, that this damn gorgeous woman wasn’t coming over to her apartment, hadn’t invited herself over, hadn’t just pushed her way beyond that boundary line. And that Savannah hadn’t so willingly let her come.

“Savannah.” The sound of her name on Fallon’s lips was music to her ears. “I wasn’t sure if you were prepared for guests, so I wanted to give you time.”

“What?” Frowning, Savannah looked deeply into Fallon’s eyes. What had she just said or even implied?

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to get to your apartment before me. To clean up, or get ready. I know you weren’t anticipating a guest tonight.”

“Oh.” How considerate and odd. Savannah furrowed her brow and nodded slowly. “Yeah, thank you.”

Her apartment wasn’t a mess, but that was only because Brinley had been gone for days and Savannah had gone into a nervous deep clean before she’d gotten dressed that night. Thank God for that.

“Did you want to leave now?” Fallon curled her fingers around the edge of the table.

Savannah pressed her lips together, eyeing the lines of Fallon’s body. The way her fingers were smooth and thin, the small hairs on her arm, the freckles that dotted her skin every now and then. She moved her gaze upward, over Fallon’s exposed collarbone, the sharpness of her jaw, the fullness of her lips, the pointedness of her nose.

“Savannah?” Fallon asked, again that tether dragging Savannah back to reality.

“No, I don’t need to leave now.”

Fallon’s smile was bright—brighter than Savannah had ever seen it before. Was this what true beauty was? Was this what Savannah had been longing to find since well before her divorce? The only thing she could think of was how she wanted to see that smile again, in every situation possible.

Unfortunately, the waiter came back, handing the card back over to Fallon. She quickly signed and pulled her purse over her shoulder, standing immediately. That was the sign if Savannah knew it. Mimicking Fallon, Savannah stood up, at least a head and a half shorter than Fallon with those heels on. But instead of feeling inferior, she felt exactly on the same level.

Fallon held her hand out, letting Savannah walk in front of her. Conscious of the way the dress clung to her tighter than when she’d bought it, Savannah had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep on walking and not feel the heat in her cheeks that she knew was there from embarrassment. She was with a drop-dead gorgeous woman, and no one would ever think twice about her.

When they reached the sidewalk, Fallon touched Savannah’s arm lightly. “I’ll meet you there.”

Savannah nodded, her voice completely lost.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Fine,” she managed to get out.

Fallon’s lips pulled upward again, her eyes lit brightly as she bent down to get closer to Savannah in the light rain that fell on their shoulders and in their hair. Savannah’s breath caught in her throat.

Fallon whispered, “Perfect.”