Chapter 4

four

“Kyla! It’s just me!” Savannah called through the front door as she stepped inside.

“In the kitchen!”

Savannah walked through the small living room and stepped into the galley kitchen. Kyla stood over the stove, stirring something in a pot. “Where are the kids?”

“Bedrooms, the ones that are here anyway.” Kyla frowned, her face sad and forlorn.

Savannah wanted nothing more than to be able to wipe that look off her face, to make it disappear and never reappear. She’d worn that look so many times in the last six months, and all it did was make Savannah worry about what she didn’t know.

“Who’s not here?”

“Cael is at soccer practice and Evie is at dance. I have to go get them in an hour.” Kyla stirred the pot again. “The others are just chilling on tablets.”

Savannah bit her lip, not quite sure what to say or how to say it. She’d never really wanted to broach the topic, though it wasn’t the first time she’d done it over the last six months. It would bring even more hardship onto Kyla, but since there was no one else around, now would be the perfect time.

“I spoke to a lawyer this week.” Savannah leaned against the counter and crossed her arms, protecting herself from whatever was about to happen. She couldn’t stop thinking about Fallon and their little excursion to the wine bar. But what had brought her there had been the lawsuit.

“Is Forrest giving you problems again?”

Savannah shook her head, the words getting caught up on her tongue just like she knew they would. It was so damn hard to speak sometimes. “No, I spoke to an attorney about suing the hospital and doctors.”

Kyla’s shoulders stiffened immediately. She did a slow turn from the stove to look directly at Savannah, her eyes wide and fearful. “You did what?”

“I told you that I wanted to. I want to know if we have a case against them, if there’s something there to actually pursue. It was just an informational meeting. I didn’t agree to anything. I wouldn’t do that without talking to you first.”

“And that’s what you’re doing now?” Kyla scoffed. “Jesus, Savannah, way to drop this in my lap.” Kyla lifted up on her toes and looked around Savannah toward the entryway to the kitchen, no doubt checking to make sure that they really were alone.

“Something needs to happen. It’s not okay that he went so long without a diagnosis or that he went so long without proper treatment. And you deserve some financial compensation for that.”

“I deserve to have him back!” Kyla’s voice cracked, sending a shot of guilt right to Savannah’s heart.

“We all do.” Savannah rubbed her lips together, taking her time to formulate another response. “But if it can help, at least cushion some things while you figure other things out, then what’s the harm?”

Kyla shook her head and closed her eyes. Reaching up, she pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed heavily. “I want to move on, Savannah, not keep dragging everything up. It’s enough of a struggle to live every day. The kids and I don’t need to add to that.”

“You wouldn’t have to. I’d do it all, and then you’d reap the benefits.” Savannah wasn’t quite sure how that would work out, especially after her meeting with Athena, but she would do her best to make sure that it happened that way. “But think about what that money could help with. It could help keep you in this house.”

Kyla’s eyes instantly filled with tears, and she shook her head. “No, it won’t.”

“What?” Savannah’s voice wobbled.

“The bank’s already foreclosed on the house. The paperwork has finally gone through, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.”

“Kyla…” Savannah’s heart sank. She was already too late. They were going to have to leave the one place that held the last memories of Conrad, and they weren’t ever going to get that back. “There has to be something—”

“There isn’t. And I realize you’re only trying to help, but it’s not helping. I need to work through this on my own. We need to start to move on and stop being stuck in the shadow of memories. Conrad was a wonderful man and husband, and I love him dearly. I’ll never not love him. But we have to learn to live without him.”

Savannah’s heart broke again. Kyla was so much stronger than she was, and while she knew she was channeling her anger over the entire situation into a lawsuit, it felt good to be able to do something about it, to actually be making headway instead of feeling like the world stopped when Conrad took his last breath.

Because it had.

For so many of them.

And yet at the same time, the world kept on turning, as if Conrad’s singular voice and life made not a lick of difference in the grand scheme of things. And that was nothing other than injustice in Savannah’s mind.

“Just let me do it all. I promise you’ll do nothing but reap the benefits of whatever happens.”

“I don’t want to hear about it.” Kyla raised her chin up, that fierceness coming back into gaze. Savannah had missed that in the last six months. It was rare to find it. “I definitely don’t want the kids to know a damn thing about it.”

“I promise they won’t. I’ll handle everything.” Savannah glanced to the doorway of the kitchen to make sure that no small person had entered while she wasn’t expecting it.

“Fine.”

Savannah sighed heavily, but she didn’t feel any lighter than when she had walked into the house. “So when do you have to be out?”

“End of the month.” Kyla flicked her gaze around the room. “I’m telling the kids tonight when they’re all home.”

“Mommy?” Aiden stepped into the kitchen, his bright eyes a dead ringer for Savannah’s brother. She loved being able to look at him and see Conrad. “When’s dinner? I’m hungry.”

“Soon. It just has to finish cooking.” Kyla clapped her hands together, plastered on a smile, and started chasing Aiden around like she was going to tickle him. He squealed in laughter and ran away.

Savannah knew the conversation was over, at least for now. She moved to stand next to Kyla as she put something on the television in the living room for the little kids to watch. “Do you want me to stay for that conversation?”

“Yeah. Might be a good idea. I know Evie will probably want to talk to you when it’s all out in the open.”

“Then I’ll stay. I can’t pick up Brinley until after eight tonight anyway.”

“Eight?”

“Yeah.” Savannah rolled her eyes, and they walked back toward the kitchen. “Forrest is really pushing the limits of his time with her, but I don’t want to be the big bad anymore. I’m getting tired of fighting.”

“Do you think he’ll ever calm down and just let Brinley make the decision?”

“No.” Savannah wrung her hands together. “Oh! I did want to tell you something funny that happened the other day when I was visiting Conrad.”

Kyla furrowed her brow. “Something funny at the cemetery.”

“Yeah. I promise. Also, you know me, I’m always stepping in it, it seems.” Savannah automatically moved to the cupboard and grabbed the plates to set the table. “You know how I told you about that grave that’s next to Conrad’s? The one that never had any flowers so I was bringing the poor guy there who died flowers?”

“Yeah.” Kyla pulled out the silverware and started on that while Savannah set the plates around the table.

“Well, what I didn’t tell you is that I finally searched who he was, and well… it’s not a pleasant story. I stopped bringing him flowers, felt guilty, so I started bringing flowers to his wife, whom he killed before killing himself.”

“Oh my God!” Kyla glanced toward the living room, where the kid’s television show still played loudly.

“I know, right?” Savannah straightened her back. “But that’s not the worst part.”

“What did you do now?” Kyla crossed her arms as they headed back into the kitchen, but instead of grabbing the paper towels, she leaned against the counter. “Because if you’re leading me through the story like this, then it must be good.”

“Her daughter was there, and then I mucked up explaining everything, because I was so thrown off by the interruption and surprise. I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be there. I never do when I go.” Savannah bit her lip, her cheeks heating at the memory. “But she was perfect in her long coat, and kitten heels, and dark brown hair swooped over her shoulder, and her makeup perfectly done—”

“Savannah…” Kyla interrupted. “You just described her like she came right out of a romance novel.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yeah, you did.” Kyla laughed lightly, and that sorrowful look from before was gone. Kyla mimicked a southern drawl as she said, “Swooped hair, kitten heels, all made up perfectly like she was out of a dream.”

“I do not sound that bad.”

“You sounded absolutely smitten with a woman you met at a cemetery because you were bringing her murdered mother flowers out of nothing other than pure guilt.” Kyla laughed loudly, the sound pinging around the kitchen in a lilt that Savannah never wanted to end.

“You know me and guilt…” Savannah’s voice wobbled. “Anyway, I tried to invite Fallon to get coffee to explain why I was there because she seemed pretty mad, but that was a no-go.”

“Yeah, pretty sure I’d tell you to fuck off, too.” Kyla giggled as she grabbed the handle on the oven door and checked on the food. “You don’t have some weird crush on this woman now, do you? Because I doubt you’re ever going to see her again. In fact, I would recommend not seeing her again. You don’t want to come off as a creep.”

Savannah’s blood ran cold. She definitely wasn’t going to bring up the fact that she’d seen Fallon again at the lawyer’s office, that she was very likely to see Fallon again each and every time she showed up for an appointment, or the fact that they’d gone out last night and actually ended up having a pretty damn good and deep conversation.

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” Savannah commented. “I don’t need to fumble through any more relationships, do I?”

“Relationships? Are you thinking about dating her?”

“No.” Savannah shook her head wildly. “I haven’t dated a woman since college, and quite frankly, after Forrest, I don’t want another relationship. Ever.”

Kyla frowned. She dropped her gaze to Savannah’s feet and then looked back up into her eyes. “I really wish you wouldn’t give up on relationships because of one shitty guy who has no qualms about being a douche canoe to the mother of his child.”

“I’m not sure Forrest understands anything but that.” Savannah wrinkled her nose. “But no, to say it again, I’m not interested in relationships, long term or short term, dating, or even flings. And I have no doubt that Fallon is also not interested in any of that, especially with me.”

“Sure. So you’ll just ogle her from afar, dream steamy dreams, and get your rocks off that way?”

“If that’s what it takes.” Savannah’s cheeks burned. Could Kyla see that? Because the dream she’d had last night was all of that times two, and it had been the first time in close to a decade that she’d woken up to her body finishing an orgasm without her even having to touch herself. She could definitely do with a few more of those dreams.

“I want to know what that look means.”

“It means nothing.” Savannah’s cheeks burned even more, which she’d thought at one point was impossible. Kyla would know exactly what she was thinking, and perhaps not the details, but definitely the content of the dreams she’d had.

“Sure it doesn’t.” Kyla checked her watch, all the nerves and unease settling back into her. “I’m not ready for this conversation.”

“I don’t think anyone is ever ready for this.”

“It’s almost worse than the one when we told them he had cancer.”

Savannah stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Kyla’s middle. She hugged her sister-in-law as tight as she could, holding on and waiting for Kyla to be the one to let go. Savannah had no idea how long they stood like that, but it was longer than she’d first expected. Kyla sucked in a shuddering breath.

“I don’t want to have to do this.”

“I know you don’t,” Savannah whispered. “I know.”

“I do know where we’re moving though.”

“Yeah?” Savannah wiped her own tears from her eyes.

“Yeah. It’s going to make it harder, I think.”

“Where are you moving?” Savannah furrowed her brow, confused by the lack of details and the fact that Kyla was hedging, which wasn’t something she normally did.

“Next door.” Kyla bit her lip, her eyes downcast. “The neighbor and I have gotten close in the last year, and she has the house all to herself since her kids are older and moved out—well, all but one. She said she won’t charge me rent until I can afford it.”

“Well, that’s good. You could come live with me.”

“In your two-bedroom apartment? All six of us?” Kyla snorted a laugh. “That’d make for a fun sit-com show if I was writing one.”

“Yeah, it would. But it wouldn’t be the end of the world, would it?”

“No, but I think moving in next door will be easier. There’s more room, the kids don’t have to change schools, and we can start moving things over immediately.”

“Let me know when you want some help with that. I can call in a few friends to get the heavy stuff moved.” Savannah would do anything to help. She wouldn’t let Kyla walk this path alone, for as long as she could help it.

“Not next weekend, but the one after.”

“Sure.”

Savannah gave Kyla a weak smile, the sorrow hitting her hard. She hadn’t thought about having to leave this house either, and while she knew the focus had to be on Kyla and the kids, it hurt her too. This was the first house that Conrad had bought, and it was the place where they’d brought all the kids home, where Savannah had spent hours and hours with the family, strengthening those bonds. It held so many memories that she didn’t want to give up.

“Whatever you need.”