Epilogue

MOUSE

Two months later

T he wind whipped over the bluff that Tewsbury Cemetery sat on. The small hill overlooked the bay. Mum's grave was close to the top, near a small stand of stunted trees. Dad said she'd loved coming up to this spot as you could see the whole bay and town from here, and if you turned around and looked the other way, you saw the start of the moors.

I hadn't been here since the funeral. Guilt and shame had kept me away, but between Dec and Cal I'd finally found the courage to pay Mum a visit. Things had been good—really good—and sometimes I wondered if the other shoe would drop, and things would turn to shit. But so far it hadn't happened, and I was letting myself believe that I deserved the happiness I had found.

It wasn't picture perfect. The thorns in my brain sometimes got sharp and all the talking in the world with Dec did nothing to ease it. But Daddy would know almost instinctively what I needed. Sometimes it was a long flogging session, by the end of which I was a bawling mess, my back and thighs tender and bruised but my head quiet. Other times though, it was as simple as wearing my favourite pyjamas and having Daddy dote on me, telling me I was his gorgeous boy and praising my drawing or magnificent Lego castles.

I bent down and laid the bunch of lavender blooms on Mum's grave. "Hey, Mum. Yeah, I know. I've been away too long, you can kick my arse later, but I've got some things I need to get off my chest." I took a deep breath and spotted Cal and Alice among the headstones, Alice's laughter making me smile even though tears threatened. "I'm so sorry, Mum. I've spent so long blaming myself. I know you're shaking your head and telling me not to be a daft fool. I'm getting better though, and Cal's been helping me. He's my boyfriend now. No, before you ask, I'm not giving you any juicy details. But, ah, Mum, he's lovely, and I love him to bits. I did something else. The money you left me, well, for ages I couldn't touch it. I still felt so guilty. Yeah, I know, I know, Mum. Well, I did something with it I think you'd like. I've bought into Viking Ink. Cal, Simon and I are now partners. Look at me, being all responsible and shit, right?" I gave a laugh, picturing Mum's smiling face. I traced my fingers over the gravestone, feeling the carvings of her name, and a sense of calm settled over me. "I promise I'll be back up soon. Next time I'll even bring Rhys, Simon's fiancé. Cute as a button and keeps Sy on his toes. You'd love him, Mum, just like I know he'd love you." I kissed my fingertips, then patted the gravestone. "Love you, Mum."

The breeze kicked up, and I thought I smelled the faint scent of Sunflowers perfume on the wind, as crazy as it sounded—and Mum's voice, laughing on the wind.

"Oh, my lille Mus. Be happy."

I looked over to Cal, who smiled back at me. "I am, Mum. I promise."

Cal opened his arms wide as I walked over to him, not saying a word as I clung to him, breathing hard against his neck. Alice's slender arms joined his as we stood and hugged.

I had found my home, my hope, and my family.

The End