19. Callie

Icouldn’t remember when I’d started pacing, but the nervous energy filling my veins had needed an outlet and I guessed my feet had come up with the solution.

The day had been the longest I could ever remember enduring, and yet it had gone by too quickly as well.

Dad was still breathing but it was becoming more laboured, and I was finally beginning to accept the fact that he wasn’t going to pull through. The inevitability of the situation was what made it impossible to bear. I knew he was dying, but he was still with me as well. A part of me just wanted it to be over, but I hated that part of me too because if it was over, then he would be dead, gone, lost to me forever.

“You’re exhausted,” Magnar rumbled. Not for the first time. “Come and sit with me. I’ll watch him while you get some rest.”

I hesitated as he held a hand out to me. If I didn’t sit, I was at risk of falling down anyway, but I was afraid to let a single moment slip by while each of them seemed so precious. His hand enveloped mine and I let him guide me closer, the pain in his eyes reminding me that he had faced the death of his own father too, that he knew this agony all too well.

Magnar pulled me down so I could lay with my head in his lap, and I tried to force myself to relax, the tension spiralling so tight within me that the thought alone made me want to pace once more.

“I promise to wake you if anything happens,” Magnar said as he started to run his fingers through my hair, the small comfort drawing more tears from me, and despite the worry churning through me, I let my eyes fall shut.

Magnar began to hum a tune which somehow felt familiar despite my certainty that I’d never heard it before. The deep tenor of his rough voice rumbled through me where my body lay across his, and the gentle touch of his fingers twisting through my hair helped uncoil the tightness in my chest just enough to let me breathe again.

My hand drifted to Fury which was strapped to my belt, the blade calling to me as exhaustion pressed down on me. Its calming presence made me feel more secure with just that simple touch.

Come, Dream-Walker, it seemed to sigh.

I didn’t expect to actually sleep, but before long, my exhaustion forced me to let go and I drifted off into the dark.

I was walking down a street, the likes of which I’d never seen before. Everything was clean and bright, shining in the light of a blazing sun. There were people everywhere. Some were laughing or talking to each other as they walked by. Others were moving quickly, sighing in irritation as the ramblers got in their way.

All of them were human.

I stared around in awe, realising this was what the world had been like before the Final War. Before the vampires.

A woman came jogging towards me, her hair loose and golden like the rays of the sun.

“I know, I know,” she called as she approached, a smile dancing on her lips. “I’m late again. But I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

Her gaze was on someone right behind me, and I turned to see who she was talking to.

“Dad?” I asked in surprise as my eyes landed on him.

He was younger than the man who lay dying in the barn. His hair was thicker and darker, less lines marked his skin. He looked happy.

The huge smile he had plastered across his face slipped as his gaze moved from the woman to me. “Callie?”

I spun back to look at the woman again, suddenly realising who she was. My mom stood before me, her features clearer than they ever were in my own memories. I reached out to touch her, but she dissolved before my eyes, swirling away alongside everything else that surrounded us.

I quickly turned back to Dad, wondering what the hell was happening. He was the only thing that remained with me as everything else disappeared. Slowly, he began to change, lines formed beside his eyes and his hair thinned too. It started to turn silver at the sides, far more grey appearing than was there in real life. I wondered if that was how he saw himself or if it was simply a reflection of the future which should have come.

“What is this?” I asked in confusion.

“I was just visiting the best parts of my life,” he replied, lifting a hand to my cheek.

His touch felt as solid and real as if he were truly standing before me. A tear slid down my cheek and I leaned into that touch, savouring it, my hand landing over his as if I could keep him there simply by wanting it enough.

“Does it hurt?” I asked. “Are you in pain?”

“No, baby girl. I only wish Montana were here too.” At his words, the scene around us changed and shivered until we were standing in our old apartment in the Realm.

Montana stood between us. Her eyes were full of more life than I remembered, and her smile was wider than it had often been. I realised I was seeing her the way that he did. I’d always noticed the sadness in her eyes, but he’d always seen the light. Perhaps my life under the rule of the vampires had left me so jaded that even my memories held a touch of misery. My only happiness had ever been them.

Though Montana had joined us, it wasn’t in the same way that we were both here. She smiled and blinked and looked almost normal, but it wasn’t really her. This was Dad’s dream, and we were the only ones who were really present for it. He just wanted Montana with us, so it appeared as if she was.

“Are you really here, Callie? Is it truly you?” Dad asked as he frowned at me. “Something tells me it’s really you standing there inside this dream with me.”

I didn’t know how it was possible, but I knew this was real, that somehow I’d stepped straight into his dreams with him, that we were really together, even though we were both sleeping.

“It is me. Do you remember what happened?” I stepped closer and tightened my grip on his hand where he still cupped my cheek. It felt so firm, I could have sworn we were truly together and the world beyond was the nightmare.

“Are we free?” A smile lit his face as he thought back on what had happened. “Did you come and rescue your old Dad?”

“I did but...” My gaze travelled to Montana. I didn’t know how much he knew about what had happened to her, and I wasn’t sure I should tell him now, not when there was nothing he could do for her.

“The vampires took her somewhere else,” he said, and I could hear the pain of being separated from her in his voice. “The one who held me said a vampire calling himself Prince Erik took her and that he wants you too. That’s all I know, Callie. You have to keep away from that-”

My dad stumbled forward and sank to his knees as the dream world around us flickered in and out of focus. Montana fizzled out of existence, and I moved to grasp his arm in the darkness, trying to draw him upright again.

“Callie?” He frowned up at me in confusion, and I helped to pull him back to his feet.

“I’m still here,” I assured him, though the pain in my chest was tightening again. I felt that quake rolling over us, this place trembling as his time ticked down. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here with you for as long as you need me.”

Dad ran a hand over his face and the darkness around us began to lift until we found ourselves standing in a park filled with lush green grass. Dad looked at something over my shoulder and I turned to find Mom and Montana lying on a red and white blanket. The sun warmed my skin and birdsong filled the air.

This wasn’t a memory. Montana and I had never been to a place like that. And our mom had died long before we’d grown up. I looked down and found myself wearing a thin blue dress with daisies around the hem. It was perfect for the rolling heat that surrounded us, but I’d never worn anything like it in real life. I guessed this was how Dad wished our lives had been. Lazy days in the sunshine with all of us together, not a vampire to be seen.

Dad moved to sit beside Mom, and she took his hand, gazing at him lovingly.

“Sit down, Callie,” Montana pleaded. “You’re blocking the sun.”

I noticed the shadow I was casting over all of them and smiled as I sat too. This was too strange, but it was too good to miss out on, the imagined reality something I wished had been true. Tears pricked the backs of my eyes as I gazed around at my family, longing for this to be real with all my heart. I wanted it more desperately than I’d ever wanted anything in my life. The four of us together, happy, free.

They all made small talk and joked together, and I just watched, basking in the glorious almost-reality.

“Have you forgotten why you’re here?” Dad asked me suddenly, and I looked up at him in confusion. For a second, I couldn’t work out why he wanted to ruin such a perfect moment. And then I couldn’t remember why I had come at all. There was something dark waiting for me outside of this perfect illusion. Something I didn’t want to face. But it was so tempting to lose myself in the dream. To let it become mine as well as Dad’s and simply soak it in for as long as it lasted.

I glanced at Montana but instead of laughing in the sunshine, I found her terrified and struggling against the hold of a man whose face was obscured in shadow. I tried to reach for her but found her further away than she’d been a moment ago, her screams cutting into me as I fought to reach for her outstretched hand.

Each time I tried to close the distance between us, it grew instead of shrinking, the darkness deepening all around her.

“You need to get to her,” Dad said urgently, and I turned back to him.

Mom and the picnic blanket were gone. The park was no longer bathed in sunshine, and a full moon had risen into the dark sky.

“But I don’t know how. I need to get to the Belvederes. Wolfe said they’re in New York, but I don’t know where that is.” The enormity of the task before me was enough to drown me. I didn’t even know where to begin, only that I had to do it somehow, that I had to find my sister and rescue her from the clutches of that dark beast.

The heavy wooden table which had sat in our old apartment materialised beside him and Dad laid a big piece of paper over it. I bent closer to see it and recognised the battered map he’d scavenged from the ruins when we were children. He’d spent some time trying to teach us about the states and cities from the world before the Final War, but it had never meant much to me. Our world was confined to the Realm and anything beyond that had been impossible to imagine until recently.

“We’re here, in northern Washington.” Dad pointed at a place on the left of the map. “If Montana is being held in New York, then you’re going to have to cross the whole country. It’s not a short trip.” He traced his finger all the way over to the right-hand side of the map and tapped on a spot near the coast, the image burning itself into my mind.

“How long will it take?” I asked anxiously. If Montana could just hold out for a few more days, then maybe I could get her out-

“On foot? Weeks. Months, actually. Too long. But if the vampires already have her there, then there must be another route available. Over the years, I’ve heard them talking about supply trains coming from the east once or twice. That might be your best bet.”

“What’s a train?” I asked in confusion. The term was vaguely familiar to me, but I couldn’t remember what he’d told me about them.

The ground beneath my feet started to vibrate and a deep rumbling echoed all around us. Wooden tracks appeared beside us, marking a trail through the darkness.

“The tracks will lead you to them,” Dad said.

The sound continued to grow as something huge closed in on us, my heart pounding at the enormity of that noise, my hair shifting in an unnatural breeze. I turned as the gust of wind pulled at my hair more forcefully, and I found myself looking at a monstrous metal vehicle as it sped towards me along the tracks. The train shot past us, sending my long hair flying as it raced by. Carriage after carriage loaded with all kinds of things from people, to stacks of lumber, to vehicles. I stared after it with my mouth hanging open. My dad’s stories had never been able to give me a clear visual of things like that, and I was starting to think I had massively under-imagined a lot of what he’d told us about. The images my brain had conjured were not in any way like the reality.

Before I could think of anything to say in response to what I’d just seen, a roar started in the sky, and I twisted to look up at a gigantic metal bird soaring overhead. I blinked rapidly, realising it was an aeroplane, the object’s wings entirely stationary, the engine bellowing far louder than any bird.

“The other option would be to fly,” Dad explained as he stepped closer to me. “But it would be a lot harder to find a way to board a plane secretly than a train.”

“What if I can’t do it?” I breathed, uttering my deepest fear. What if there was no way I could free Montana from the Belvederes? I may have had Magnar on my side, but we were still only two people. And they were the leaders of this new and fucked-up world. A thousand vampires could be standing between us and them.

“I believe in you, Callie. The two of you are born of one light, sun and moon, destined to be together. I know you’ll find your way back to each other.” He smiled at me encouragingly, but I still wasn’t convinced.

Everything around us flickered in and out of focus, and my dad disappeared too.

My heart leapt in panic, and I twisted around, trying to locate him in the darkness.

He appeared again behind me and sank down to sit on a soft, brown armchair.

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to leave you soon, little sun,” he sighed, and I could tell he was struggling to form the words.

“Not yet,” I begged as I hurried to him and grabbed his hand. “Please stay with me a bit longer.” The rising tide of grief was growing closer, but I pushed it back, wanting to enjoy what time I had left with him.

“I wish I could. I wish that I’d gotten us out of the Realm before now. I wish I could have given you girls a real life. A free life. I wish... so many things. More than I ever got to give you. Most of all, I just want you to be together. Free and happy. Promise me you’ll find happiness.”

“How can I be happy without you?” Pain was constricting my chest, and my grip on his fingers began to feel like it was the only thing keeping him there at all.

“You will be. I know you can be. Take this.” He removed Mom’s wedding ring from the chain around his neck and handed it to me. “Your mom wanted you girls to have it, but as there were two of you, I never knew which one of you to give it to. Then I just got used to wearing it. Maybe you can take turns once you get back to Montana.” He smiled knowingly; the two of us had never been able to share well as children and ‘take turns’ had become Dad’s catchphrase when he was constantly reminding us to attempt it. The thought that I’d never hear him say it again nearly tore me in two.

“I’ll find her, Dad. I promise,” I said, knowing he needed to hear it.

He let out a deep sigh, and our surroundings began to shimmer unsteadily. When they solidified again, he’d moved away from me and the chair was gone.

My hand closed on nothing where his fingers had just been. My mom reappeared standing further away still, a serene smile on her face.

Someone took my hand, and I found Montana standing beside me, smiling bravely. It still wasn’t truly her though, just a reflection of what I needed to see.

Dad walked away from us, pulling Mom close and pressing a kiss to her lips. I wanted to follow him, but a gulf of space had opened up between us and I was forced to remain where I was or fall into the ravine.

“I love you girls,” Dad said sadly as he turned to face us one last time. “Never forget it.”

I tried to reach for him, to cry out and beg him to stay with me, but everything faded away faster than I could comprehend. The last thing that remained was the golden ring in my fist, its imprint forcing its way onto my palm as I gripped it tightly, but then that faded too.

And I was left entirely alone.

Magnar was shaking me as I came back to my own body, and a sob escaped my lips as I woke in his arms.

“I’m so sorry Callie,” he breathed.

I pushed myself upright and buried myself against his chest as tears poured from my eyes in a steady torrent. I didn’t need to hear why he was sorry. I already knew. Pain flourished through my chest more sharply than I’d ever felt it before, and he held me tightly as sobs racked my body and the grief came crashing in.

Dad was gone.