17

Ilya lay with his head on Julien's shoulder and kept swallowing to try and shift the lump in his throat. Oh God. He likes me. He wants me. Ilya felt shell-shocked. He slid his hand between their chests so his palm lay over Julien's heart and felt how fast it was beating. As if he'd needed the confirmation that this was real. I did need it.

"Let me get over into the other seat,"

Julien said.

"You're not letting me drive?"

"Do you have a licence?"

"No."

"Well, then, since I don't want us to end up in one of those murky pools if you press the wrong pedal…"

Ilya shifted so that Julien could move over.

"Keep your hands to yourself while I'm driving."

"Why would you think I wouldn't keep my hands to myself?"

"Just a hunch."

"Then one last touch."

Ilya leaned over and looked into his eyes. He was afraid he'd see regret, but he didn't. Ilya kissed him chastely on the cheek, then licked him before he pulled away. "You are obscenely handsome."

"Oh God,"

Julien muttered.

He started the engine and set off back to the cottage.

Don't ask him. Don't say it. But Ilya couldn't help himself because he needed to know where he stood, where both of them stood, in spite of them just snogging like teenagers. "You like women."

"Yes."

"And… I'm not a woman."

"Oh my God. You had me fooled with that Hello Kitty T-shirt. Get out of the car! Right now."

Ilya huffed. "You have to stop first."

"No way. Throw yourself out!"

"Ha ha. So do you think you're bi or demi or pan or…?"

"I'm not sure what I am. I don't think I care. Do I need a label? I do know that I want you. I do and yet don't understand it, but so what?"

Ilya gave a quiet sigh of happiness. "Have I grown on you? And not like a fungus."

"I think I wanted you from the first time I saw you, with your floppy hair, wearing that suit that was too big. I spent too long thinking how much better you'd look in something that had been made for you. Then you lifted that necklace from my pocket and I was furious as well as impressed, because it was going to be awkward to explain if I couldn't get it back."

"Explain to who?"

Julien took so long to answer, Ilya thought he wasn't going to.

"I can't talk about that."

Which wasn't an answer, but Ilya let it go. "I wasn't allowed out of the house. The suit was bought online. I said it didn't fit but Bryant neither listened nor cared. There were top hats too but the groom's side didn't want to wear them, so they stayed in the boxes, thank God, because I looked ridiculous in mine. Did you notice the trees all lit up on the drive? I helped do that. It was better than being…"

"Being what?"

"Being made to watch gay porn after I'd been force-fed drugs that would make me throw up."

"Oh shit."

"It hasn't put me off sex. Just in case you wondered. Though I hope I don't throw up when I actually have sex. That would be awful. Oh my God, I didn't think of that. I'm going to worry now."

Though his smile probably gave it away that he wasn't worried.

Julien smiled.

"It's not funny. I'm deadly serious."

"You make me laugh. I feel different with you. More relaxed."

He paused. "It's a long while since I've had a friend. I'm not sure I've ever had one I was attracted to, particularly one who wears a teenage girl's T-shirt. But it's cute. You're cute."

"Stop talking!"

"Why?"

"I need a moment to savour you calling me cute. Ahhh. Hmmm. Okay, I'm done."

"I've never rolled my eyes as much as I have since I met you. It's a wonder they've not fallen out."

Ilya chuckled.

"Did you leave a boyfriend in St Petersburg?"

"I'd say no but if you asked Arkady, he might say yes. He was one of my group of friends, but he was tricky."

"In what way?"

"Too pushy. Too openly flirty. Too keen on me and I always worried he'd get me into trouble. He probably would have if I'd stayed in St Petersburg. Possibly the only good thing about being dragged over here was that I don't have to put up with him pestering me. Now I feel mean for saying that, and don't get the wrong idea. He wasn't a stalker or abusive. He just wanted me to like him like he liked me, and I didn't."

"Was he your age?"

"A couple of years older."

Ilya sucked in a breath. "I've convinced myself the answer to this is no, but have you…been with a guy before?"

"I did some messing around at school."

"School in France, the land of love?"

"Yes."

"Define messing around."

"Hands on cocks. That was it."

"No kissing?"

"That was too gay."

Ilya chuckled. "Have you watched gay porn?"

"No."

"Not curious then?"

"I wasn't."

"And now you are? Do you know what to do?"

Julien shot him a look. "I think I can work it out. We don't need… We don't need to rush anything."

"Does that include driving? Because you've overtaken a flock of birds, Mr Speedy."

Julien slowed down.

"Better to get back in one piece,"

Ilya said. "I've been imagining you naked, but not covered in blood with a broken leg and brain damage."

Julien groaned.

"Want to know what I've been thinking? About what you look like under those faded jeans that cling to you like a second skin. I've been imagining you all long and hard and muscly. Are you like that all over? I bet you are. Though that most important bit isn't a muscle. I might not be medical but I know that. Did you know that the brain has an automatic penis maintenance function built in? How handy is that?"

"I need you to shut up."

"You need to have erections regularly to keep your cock in shape. So wanking is a gym activity for cocks."

"No more."

"You are so sexy when you're cross. Tell me to shut up in French."

"Tais-toi. Ferme-la. Ferme ta gueule."

"You're also sexy when you're not cross. Say something nice."

"Something nice."

"And you're occasionally hilarious and sexy. Very occasionally."

"I really do need you to shut up. Please. And stop looking at my lap."

Ilya smiled, opened the glove box, took out a Cadbury's Creme Egg and unwrapped it. He sucked at the top until the chocolate melted, then dipped his tongue into the thick white filling and scooped it out. So tasty. And Julien kept glancing at him, which was a bonus. Ilya stuck out his tongue for a moment with a small amount of the icing on the tip before he drew it into his mouth, licked his lips and hummed.

When he heard Julien give a quiet groan, Ilya hammed it up. "Oh that's so good. So sweet and sticky and gloopy and delicious. If come tasted like this, oh my God… I'd… I don't know what I'd do. Yum."

Leaning back in his seat, he sucked and licked at the egg, while he had his hand over his crotch, fondling his dick.

"Stop it, bratkin."

"Or what?"

"Or I'm going to pull in at the first place I see, drag you out, shove you face down over the bonnet and fuck you till you scream."

"Damn it, you're going to make me come."

"Perfect."

Ilya pushed the rest of the egg into Julien's mouth. Julien spluttered but ate it.

He probably drove a bit too fast to get back but Ilya's heart was pounding with excitement.

"Boots off just inside or we'll track sand everywhere,"

Julien said.

Ilya pushed aside his slight disappointment that housekeeping had been put before desire, but… Once they were inside the cottage and the door was closed, boots came off. The moment Ilya had hung up his jacket, Julien drove him back against the door, crushing him into the wood, their faces inches apart. Julien had one thigh between Ilya's, pressing upwards into his cock, so that Ilya was forced up on his toes. The pressure was exquisite.

"I've never had such a painful urge to touch someone,"

Julien whispered.

"I've never had such a painful urge to be touched."

Ilya clutched at him, reaching for Julien's mouth with his. But Julien shifted slightly and held onto Ilya's hair, tipping his head back to expose his throat. When Julien put his hand there, fingers on his chin, one finger slipping between Ilya's teeth, he felt as if an electric current was surging along his veins.

The moment Julien's mouth was on his neck, Ilya's struggle not to come turned into a battle between his body and head. Not yet! He didn't care if Julien left bruises, he wanted to be marked, wanted to be made his, wanted Julien to see that mark every time he looked at him. Then their mouths were finally together, along with the rest of their bodies. Julien tasted sweet and chocolatey, and Ilya didn't want to stop kissing him. Knowing he was Julien's first lit Ilya up like lightning. No one had done this with him before, not a guy anyway.

"I want you,"

Julien blurted between kisses.

"I wasn't sure,"

Ilya panted. "It's so hard to tell with you."

Julien dropped his forehead to Ilya's shoulder as he laughed.

Ilya kissed him hard, biting, sharp, ferocious kisses.

Julien grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back, but still hung onto him. "Bed. Now."

They were moving down the hallway, some strange four-legged, two-headed, multi-armed beast, staggering along, hands roaming all over each other, inside T-shirts, inside jeans, as they ricocheted from one side of the hallway to the other, while they never stopped kissing. That couldn't be allowed to stop. Ilya was glad Julien seemed to feel the same.

It was inevitable they'd fall, but Julien somehow managed to get beneath him and protect Ilya's arm before they hit the floor. Ilya knew he'd done it to save him getting hurt and that kindness increased his desperation. He could feel the hardness of Julien's cock against his own through the thickness of their jeans, and squirmed against him, grinding down, needing more, while Julien was trying to get them both to their feet and failing.

"Here? Really?"

Julien barely managed to get the words out before their lips were together again.

"Bed's too far."

Ilya snaked a hand between them, which wasn't easy, down to the fastenings on Julien's jeans and when one hand wasn't enough, brought the other down until he could work the button undone, then lower the zip and push his hand inside Julien's boxers. He wrapped his fingers around a long, thick cock and whined.

"Ah…fuck,"

Julien gasped.

Ilya kept kissing him, and using Julien's precome as lubricant, kept jacking him off, because this had to happen now. No stopping to get tissues or a towel or even lube. Julien was lost beneath him, his eyes half-closed, his hands flailing as he struggled to breathe and kiss and touch him at the same time. Ilya could scent not just his own arousal but Julien's too. The cock in his hand was so silky and hot. So's mine. Ilya was glad he wasn't the only one in this state.

And yet this was nothing, really. Just a hand job.

It felt like everything.

Ilya didn't even care that he was close to coming in his jeans. This was all for Julien and Ilya wanted it to be wild and hot and fun… As if Julien were a teenager and not a guy in his thirties.

"Ahh…"

Julien suddenly tensed and sucked in a breath, then came in Ilya's hand. The spurt of warm fluid was enough to flip Ilya over the edge and he let out a shuddering sigh against Julien's throat as his world lost focus. For a long moment, they just lay there entwined as they came down from the high, hearts slowing, breathing easing.

"Fuck,"

Julien whispered.

"You'll have to wait. Ten minutes for me. Maybe an hour or two for you, old man."

"I'm not quite ready for my bus pass."

Ilya kissed him on his neck and his cheeks and lips as he basked in the delight of what they'd done. Definitely not straight. Thank God for that. Nothing else mattered. Not a label. Just this wanting each other.

"What now?"

Julien asked.

A lot of ideas rushed through Ilya's head, all too filthy to voice. If he rushed this, Julien might run. The next move had to be his. Possibly, if Ilya could control himself.

Before he could ask Julien to fuck him, hard, once they'd recovered, he resorted to the mundane. "Clothes in the washing machine. Mine and yours because I don't have enough pairs of jeans for this to keep happening. Maybe I should buy more. Yes, I should because that was so hot. Then we need a shower. You can wash me."

Oh shit. Too fast.

"Yes, master."

"Glad we got that sorted out."

Though Ilya was under no illusion who was the boss, and it wasn't him. Though topping from the bottom was his speciality. And maybe this wasn't too fast.

Julien put his own clothes in the machine and held out his hand for Ilya's, who'd just stood and stared in awe as Julien stripped.

"I'm trying so hard not to drool,"

Ilya whispered. "You have those ridges and bumps that require a lot of effort to achieve, unless you opt for plastic surgery, and I am so impressed. It was worth all the effort you put in, just so you know."

Julien laughed.

Ilya took off his clothes but hung onto the T-shirt. "Let me just read the label. I love this."

But there was nothing about washing it with like colours so Ilya handed it over. Am I really thinking about washing? Or trying not to think about fucking?

Julien pulled Ilya in so that his back was against Julien's chest.

"Your arm okay?"

"Yes."

"I'll take the stitches out tomorrow."

Ilya moaned as Julien's hands glided over his chest and nipples. "I'm not very muscly."

"You're not."

"You're supposed to say you hadn't noticed. Or that it didn't matter."

Julien rubbed his thumbs down Ilya's hip bones. His stubbly chin was on Ilya's shoulder, and he nipped his ear, then mouthed it. Ilya's knees almost buckled.

"Weak spot. There are more. But ears…They are my thing."

Julien let him go. "Get in the shower while I put the washing on."

"You're going to join me, right?"

The nod reassured him. Before he left the room, he looked back over his shoulder, saw Julien watching him and he smiled.

He'd only been under the water a short while when he felt Julien behind him. Ilya had his hand over his cock and when Julien's fingers slid onto his waist, Ilya moved Julien's hand down to cover his. Julien pulled him in and Ilya felt the hard ridge of his cock against his backside. He twisted back for a kiss and slung an arm round Julien's neck.

"Impressive powers of recovery for a guy of your age,"

Ilya whispered. "Or have I been in here two hours?" Ilya turned so they were facing each other. "Sure you're okay with this?"

"Yes."

"Then what the hell are you waiting for?"

Julien worked his tongue into Ilya's mouth so quickly that it almost made Ilya's knees give way. Their tongues were sliding together and as Julien sucked at his, Ilya made a strangled whimpering sound. When Julien eventually pulled back, Ilya felt so boneless, he had to hold onto him so he didn't slump into the bottom of the shower.

"I want all of it,"

Julien said hoarsely.

"All of what? Everything on PornHub?"

"Not this minute. I just want all of you."

Ilya kissed his way down Julien's neck, dragging his mouth as slowly as he could over his throat, feeling the Adam's apple shift under his tongue, then on down Julien's chest, feeling his abs tighten under his lips, around his nipples, over the ridges of his ribs, the hills and valleys of his chest and into his navel while water cascaded over his head. When he was on his knees, he licked up Julien's cock, then took it into his mouth.

The burst of flavour on his tongue flipped a switch in his head. Even above the sound of the shower, he heard the hitch in Julien's breathing. Ilya held onto Julien's hips and did what he'd claimed to be so good at—no one had ever complained—except it felt different, better because he wanted this as much as Julien seemed to, and that hadn't always been the case when he'd given blow jobs. Not that he'd ever been coerced, just that his heart hadn't always been engaged, not like this.

Julien was stroking his hair, staring down at him as Ilya sucked and teased and licked. Ilya brought a hand from Julien's hip to work the bottom of his cock. When Julien turned authoritative, and began to fuck his mouth, Ilya felt a thrill of delight. He'd tamed his gag reflex—mostly—and took more and more of his length, sucking around Julien's cock until his face was up against his body. When Ilya pulled back to breathe, he heard the sounds he'd wanted to hear. Julien losing control. Making sounds from deep in his chest, gasping, breathing erratically, grunts, monosyllabic words as he clutched Ilya's hair.

He held Ilya's head on both sides and face-fucked him, his balls slapping against his chin while Ilya did his best to clench his throat around him. Before he lost his nerve, he slid a hand round to Julien's arse and dragged it down the crease, gradually homing in on the entrance to his body, then circling around it. He was alert for any signs of Julien freaking out, but it didn't happen, and slowly he worked his finger inside him. Julien was breathing heavily but not saying no, so Ilya kept going, crooked his finger and Julien cried out. One brush of his prostate and he'd erupted, hot blasts of come shooting into Ilya's mouth and throat and all the time he was muttering Ilya's name in broken whispers as he trembled against him. Ilya kept swallowing, pulling back to breathe, then suckling him gently until all the hardness had gone.

"How the hell did I come again so quickly?"

Julien whispered.

"I can work miracles. Hey, I came too."

Julien laughed as he pulled him up. Ilya wondered if he'd kiss him with the taste of his come still on his lips.

The answer was yes.