Chapter Ten

Athena

No one stops me as I stumble out of Rafe Valentino's house. They just let me go. Either they aren't concerned about me talking, or they don't plan on me living long enough to be a problem. I'm not sure which it is. Right now, I'm not sure I even care. My entire world is collapsing around me, and the pain is unimaginable.

I stumble to my car on numb legs. My heart is numb, frozen solid. I want to scream and rage and cry, but I can't. I have to get the hell out of here before I let him convince me to stay. He could do it so easily.

God, even now, he has such power over me. I guess that's what love does. Makes us stupid. It certainly made me a fool. Even knowing he was up to something, I fell right into his arms. I gave him my heart. I let him do things to me that I'll never be able to take back or forget.

And God help me, as much as I want to hate him, I don't. I can't. I feel sorry for him. He lives in a world of vipers. They plot and deceive and betray as easily as they breathe. Of course, he expected the same of me. It's all he knows.

That doesn't make it hurt any less.

I would have given up everything for him. I did give it up for him. The moment he touched me for the first time, I knew my career was over. I think I let myself fall because I knew I was over deep down. But in his eyes, I was always the enemy.

In his eyes, I'll always be the enemy.

I shove my key into the ignition with shaking hands. Somehow, I manage to make it through the gates without crashing. I make it an entire two blocks before I'm forced to pull to the side of the road.

Great, heaving sobs wrack my body.

I lay my head on the steering wheel and sob.

I cry so hard I choke. I just lost everything. My job. The man I love. Everything. And I have no one to blame but myself. I knew what I was getting myself into, and I got myself into it anyway.

Love doesn't make us stupid. It turns us into lunatics.

"Call Ceres," I gasp, stabbing the button on the navigation menu.

My car confirms the call, and then ringing blares through the speakers.

He picks up on the second ring.

"Athena? What's wrong? Why are you calling so late?"

"Ceres," I sob, needing my brother more now than ever. "It's o-over."

"What's over? What's wrong?"

"Everything."

Everything is over. Everything is wrong.

Yes, that sounds about right.

Eventually, I calm down enough to tell Ceres everything.

"I'm going to kill that dirty son of a bitch," he swears. "Who the fuck is he?"

"It doesn't matter," I mumble numbly. "It's over now."

"It does matter. I want a name, Athena."

"Ceres, please," I plead, squeezing my eyes closed. "I can't do this right now."

"Shit." He expels a hard breath. "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make you feel worse. I'm mad as hell that you're hurting. What can I do?"

"Take me back in time and tell me not to fall in love with him?"

"I wish it were that easy, kid."

"Yeah," I sigh. "Me too."

"What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know. Quit my job, I guess."

"You don't owe him that, Athena."

"I know, but it's not just about him. I wanted to quit when Dennis gave me this case," I confess. "But I'm stubborn, and he annoyed me, so I decided to stick it out because I didn't want him to win." An abrupt laugh erupts from my lips. "I guess that ship sailed, huh?"

"No. Even if no one else ever knows it, you won. You proved him wrong. You did what no one else could, and you got the truth. That's not a small thing, baby sister."

"Yeah, but I didn't get it because I'm good at this. He gave it to me because he knew it didn't matter if he told me or not." My bottom lip quivers. "I hate him."

"No, you don't," Ceres says quietly. "You hate that you don't hate him."

"Yeah." A tear slips down my cheek. "It'd be easier if I did." Maybe it'd hurt less. Isn't that what I really want? For it to hurt less? Because right now, it feels unbearable, like I just lost a part of myself.

How did he become so important so quickly? How did I fall so fast? God, I didn't even feel it happening. I didn't even know it was happening until it was too late to change it. By the time I realized I was falling, I was already head over heels.

But I think I loved a lie.

And, perhaps, that's what hurts the most. I gave him all of me. But sitting here now, I'm not sure I knew him at all. I just knew what he wanted me to know. I was right about him that first day.

He is one of the most dangerous men in this city. But even knowing that, I underestimated just how dangerous he would be to me.

When I wake up the following morning, it's to find him sitting on my front porch with his head in his hands. My heart clenches, threatening to shatter all over again. He looks as wrecked as I feel. But I don't see how that's possible. He's the one who played me.

God, he played me like a freaking drum.

Fury bubbles to the surface with the thought. I spin on my heel and march back inside, going straight for the weapon I keep in the drawer beside the couch. I stomp back outside with it in my hands.

"Leave," I growl. "Now."

"Jesus Christ, Athena." He hops up from my porch swing. "Put the fucking gun down."

"Not until you get the hell off my porch."

"Put the damn gun down."

"Get. Off. My. Porch." I aim it at his feet. "Now."

"Not until you hear what I have to say."

"You said enough last night. In fact, you said more than enough to last a lifetime last night." I flip the safety off. "I'm counting to three, and then I'm pulling the trigger."

"I swear to God, if you shoot, you better shoot to kill, bella." His eyes glitter with fury. "Because if you don't, there will be hell to pay when I get my hands on you."

"I changed my mind," I say. "I'm not counting to three."

I pull the trigger.

Diego doesn't even flinch as the gun goes off. He doesn't move at all. Not even when shards of wood splinter inches from his feet. Splinters fly up, showering down over his shoes.

He glances at me, and then down at the damage, and then back to me. "Run."

"Leave."

"Run, rabbit. Now."

Something in his tone tells me he's serious. Or maybe it's the fact that I actually just shot at him. I'm not sure. But suddenly, standing here pointing a gun at him doesn't seem like the wisest idea. In fact, it seems a little insane.

I turn on my heel, sprinting into the house.

Before I can even attempt to slam the door on him, he's coming through it, his face a thundercloud. He grabs me, yanking me up against him.

"Let me go!" I shout.

"Drop the fucking gun before you shoot yourself," he growls in my ear, trying to pry my fingers off the weapon. "If you hurt yourself, I'm going to be pissed."

"Aren't you already?"

"You haven't seen mad yet, bella." He wrestles the gun out of my hand, anchoring me to his body while he turns and places it on the credenza. As soon as it's out of his hands, his hands are on me again.

He picks me up, tossing me over his shoulder.

"Put me down," I shout, trying to kick him. I pound on his back, doing everything I can to make him drop me. The overgrown jerk doesn't even miss a beat as he stomps through my house, heading straight for my bedroom.

He drops me on the bed, wrestling me into a prone position as he crawls over me. Within seconds, I'm flat on my back, and he's pinning me to the bed with his body, his face inches from mine.

"You shot at me." He enunciates each word, his eyes blazing with fury.

Tears well in my eyes, spilling over. I don't want to cry. I don't even mean to do it. But he's right. I just shot at him. "I'm sorry," I cry, cracking apart.

His expression softens. His hold on me gentles. "Bella," he breathes, pain flaring in his expression. "Ah, bella. You're breaking my fucking heart."

"You already broke mine, Diego." I sniffle, glaring up at him. "You should have just let Rafe kill me. At least then it would have been a quick death." This one promises to last a lifetime. One endless day of grief after another.

"Never," he vows. "I will never let anyone hurt you."

"You hurt me. You broke me."

"I know." He swallows hard. "I'm going to fix it, Athena."

"It can't be fixed."

"It can," he argues. "I know it can."

"It can't."

"You wouldn't be crying so hard right now if that were true." He cups my cheek, brushing tears away. "You wouldn't have tried to shoot me if that were true."

"I want to hate you."

"Do you?"

I sniffle instead of answering.

"I'm going to fix it."

"It can't be fixed, Diego."

"It can. I already talked to Rafe. First thing tomorrow, you're taking me in for Genovese's murder."

I blink at him. "What?"

"You think I did all of this because I didn't trust you," he murmurs. "That's not true, goddess. I did it because I know your choice shouldn't be me. I'll never deserve you. I'll never be good enough for you. But I'm a selfish motherfucker, and I wanted you any way I could have you. But that isn't fair to you. You're good at your job, Athena. A helluva lot better than those pricks want to give you credit for, so this is the third option."

"Diego, this is insane." I push against his chest, demanding he let me sit up. "You can't turn yourself in for murder. You'll go to prison."

"Maybe. Maybe not." He shrugs like it doesn't matter to him either way. "But Rafe won't. And you won't lose your job because of me. Everyone wins, bella."

"Everyone except you!" I cry.

"You asked me if I had any regrets. I told you I had a couple. Not being able to spare you was one of them, bella. You weren't supposed to find out the way you did, but I always intended to tell you what was happening and why. I intended to ask you to choose for yourself. I just intended for you to be in love with me first." He gives me a rueful smile. "I guess I should have asked for more than twenty-four hours for that."

I stare at him, trying to formulate a response.

"If I have to lose to protect you, then I lose, Athena."

"Did you even kill Genovese?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me."

He refuses to answer, which is answer enough. He didn't do it. But he's willing to take the fall anyway. For me.

"No." I scramble into his lap, pushing him backward. "No."

"It's my choice, Athena."

"You made the choice for me. I'm making it for you. If keeping my job means you go to prison, I don't want it, Diego. I'd rather be the agent that failed than the woman who let you go to prison for a murder you didn't commit."

"I might not have pulled the trigger, but I was there when it happened. Technically, that makes me culpable under the law."

"If you turn yourself in, I'll still tell them we were sleeping together. You'll have done it for nothing."

"You won't."

"Watch me."

He glowers at me. "I'm doing this for you, Athena."

"And I'm telling you, I don't want it. I refuse to watch the man I love destroy himself to save my career. It's insane, Diego!" I huff out a breath. "I'm not even sure I want the stupid job. I'm mad that you didn't trust me. I'm mad that you didn't give me a choice. That's what I'm upset about."

He falls still, staring up at me. "You love me."

He says it almost as if he's afraid to hope. It's part question, part prayer…the most vulnerable words to ever come from his lips. If I didn't love him before, the unsteady shake in his voice would have tossed me over the edge. For someone so powerful, someone so damn indomitable, to be so discomposed by three little words is devastating and beautiful at the same time.

"Yes," I say, my voice clear and firm. "I love you, Diego."

His eyes drift closed on a silent prayer. It's the most peaceful he's ever looked. Until they spring open again approximately four seconds later. Adoration, vast and bright and pure, blazes in obsidian depths, searing me with the strength of his devotion.

"Ah, bella," he groans, moving like lightning. One minute, I'm on top of him. The next, I'm pinned beneath him again, his legs between my thighs, his hands in my hair. "You've really done it now, rabbit."

"D-done what?"

"Sealed your fate." His lips descend on mine, his kiss hungry and raw. His hands glide over me, moving at the speed of light as he strips me bare, desperate to get me skin to skin. "You're supposed to run from danger, not fall in love with it."

"Guess I missed that memo," I moan, popping buttons on his shirt in my haste to get it off his perfect body. "You'll have to send it again."

"Fuck the memo. This is all mine now." He runs his hand down my body to indicate what he means. Possession blazes in his eyes as they meet mine. "All mine."

"Not unless we do it my way."

He pauses, eyeing me curiously. "And what is your way, goddess?"

"With us together, not separated by prison walls, no FBI job standing between us. But truly together."

"This is what you want?"

"You're what I want, Diego. However I can get you." What's a lifetime of answering to men like Dennis Respert when I can spend a lifetime loving this infuriating man? They don't even compare. Maybe he was right all along. There was no choice except for this one. Not for him, and not for me, either.

Maybe Dennis was right, too. Maybe I'm not cut out for the FBI. Not because I'm a woman. Not because I belong behind a desk. And not because I'm too dainty to do a man's job. But because my heart is right here with the criminal who owns it. I can't uphold the law and love someone who breaks it simultaneously.

"I suppose we can do it your way," he says, reaching between us to undo his pants. "But only if you promise me something."

"What?"

He doesn't say anything for a long moment as he kisses his way down my body, pulling one nipple and then the other into his mouth. He lingers for a moment over my belly, and then inches lower, blowing a hot breath over my sex.

Only when my legs are over his shoulders does he speak again.

"Only if you promise to remember that I love you more than life itself while I'm fucking you through the mattress for trying to shoot me."

My heart leaps and plummets at the same time. He loves me. And I am so screwed.

"Yeah, bella. You're in so much fucking trouble now," he growls, dragging me up to his wicked, smiling lips. "If you believe in God, you better start praying."

Dear God…

That's as far as I get. For a long, long time.