4.

S TASSI

I walked out of the grocery store feeling tired down to my bones. I cataloged my aches and pains and realized that the only part of me that didn’t hurt right now was my right earlobe. My left still smarted from Aksel’s teeth after he bit me a few hours ago.

After our antics in the cooler, the bruises he’d given me on my hips and shoulder, which were more than welcome at the time, turned dark and tender. I wasn’t sure what a woman’s equivalent of blue balls was called, but I knew I had it because my pussy was aching after being denied that second blissful orgasm that was just minutes away when I got called back to work.

Aleta, the bane of my existence since Sin called in a favor and had me get her a job, bore the brunt of my disappointment and the foul mood that developed because of it. I’d seemingly made it my mission in life to see her in tears. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen today because the woman was made of stronger stuff than I’d thought. However, there was always tomorrow, and right now, that was the bright spot in my world.

Well, it was until I looked up and realized that Aksel Nilsen was casually leaning against the SUV I’d borrowed from my aunt until I brought my own vehicle to Mereu.

“Want to knock one out right here in the parking lot? I haven’t been to jail in a few years. It might have changed since my last arrest. That was what? The early nineties?”

Aksel’s laugh was hollow at the memory of the last time I’d gone to jail, and I saw his eyes glittering with anger before he managed to conceal his emotions. Just to be a shit, I said, “You still owe me bail money since it was your fault.”

“My fault? You chained yourself to a tree, Stassi. I didn’t do that to you. It was completely your decision.”

“And then you had me arrested. When I got out the next day and went back, that tree was gone - turned into toothpicks by the logger baron who didn’t give a single shit what animals he displaced when he destroyed their homes.”

“Here we go again,” Aksel muttered.

Years ago, I became involved with a preservation group that was focused on a forest that was home to many species of native wildlife but had been purchased by a big conglomerate that was focused on razing that forest. We tried everything we could think of to legally stop the deforestation of that area and even brought in experts to help form a long-term plan to harvest trees while, at the same time, planting more for the wildlife.

Nothing worked, and the logging company wouldn’t listen to us. As a last ditch effort to bring attention to our cause, we protested on site to block the loggers from beginning their destruction.

It worked for a while, probably because the powers that be thought they could wait us out. However, they had no idea that several of the protesters were supernaturals who had nothing but time on their hands and didn’t feel the elements or exhaustion that regular mortals would feel after spending days in the forest.

Word eventually came down from the top dogs of the logging company to start the work no matter who got in the way. We refused to leave, and the police became involved. Everyone in our group was arrested for trespassing, and the company threw their considerable wealth into making itself look good and making us look like a bunch of loonies who needed to mind their own business.

Of course, I was upset about the deforestation and had already decided to focus my efforts on finding a way to rebuild what had been lost. But my upset turned to rage when the newscaster for the local evening news interviewed the owner of the logging company who had resisted our ideas at every turn - and that person was Aksel Nilsen.

I had no idea at the time, but Aksel had been involved in the logging business for years, sometimes working side by side with his men and other times as the president of the company in his ivory tower watching the minions slave away for his money.

I had been a ball of rage by the time the interview was finished and appeared in his penthouse suite to give him a piece of my mind. Luckily, I popped into his lavatory, and when I walked out to find him, I interrupted a dinner party that included some of his cronies along with the governor and several members of the federal government who had taken his side in the fight.

I, Anastacia Yeamans, had a wall-eyed, foot stomping, screeching fit right there in Aksel’s dining room in front of all of his guests.

When he dragged me to his office, we had the wildest, angriest, hate sex that the world had ever seen.

The second he was finished, while I was still naked, breathless, and sprawled across his desk, he called security and had me escorted from the building. The next day, I got a summons to court where the judge, one of the men who had been a guest at Aksel’s home that night, explained in no uncertain terms that I was to avoid Aksel and all of his properties until the end of time.

“I just realized that I’m violating a protective order standing here talking to you, Aksel. Do you feel unsafe? Should you call the popo to rescue you?”

“We need to sit down somewhere and talk.”

“We are not going anywhere. I am going home to rest after a long day.”

“I need to talk to you, Stassi,” Aksel insisted.

“We don’t mesh well when there are words involved.”

“That has always proven to be true. However, we need to discuss what’s wrong back in Washington.”

“I’ve been living there for a few years now, and let me just say, there are more things wrong there than I can list in a day.”

“I’m talking about a serial killer, not politics.”

“Again, there are too many to count, so that conversation would take more time than either of us can stand to be near each other.”

“Would it help if I pulled my dick out and let you suck it while I talk?”

I snorted out a laugh as he elaborated,

“If your mouth is full, at least you can’t interrupt me with your smart fucking comments.”

“Oh, there he is,” I teased. “I finally got the real Aksel to come out and play. Isn’t it nice to drop that aristocratic facade and show some actual emotion every now and again?”

Aksel pushed away from my vehicle and suddenly bent forward until our noses were nearly touching.

“There’s a mad scientist playing God and trying to turn people into a replica of you, Stassi.” My palms started to tingle, and I felt my temperature rise alarmingly so I took a few steps back and sucked in a deep breath to control myself before I created chaos in the small town I’d come to love so much. “Now who is showing true emotion, sweetheart?”

“Fuck you, Aksel,” I hissed before I shoved him out of my way and pulled open the door to the SUV.

“I’m up for another round anytime you are, but we need to go see Cas and discuss what’s going on and how it might tie into what happened all those years ago when I found you.”

I settled into the driver’s seat and rested my aching palms on the steering wheel before I asked, “How would that have anything to do with what’s going on now?”

“It might not, but what are the odds that there are two madmen with the same end goal? Even though it’s been years since you razed that town, there’s another monster trying to create more . . .”

“Monsters?” I interrupted before I asked, “Is that what you think I am?”

“Absolutely not!” Aksel argued.

“What do you think of me, Aksel?” I asked, not quite sure I wanted to hear the truth.

After what happened earlier in the cooler, something had shifted in my soul, and I knew I’d never feel the same way about Aksel again. The flashes I had when I tasted his blood confused me, and the emotion I felt now when I looked at him just confused me even more. Aksel and I had been like oil and water for so long that I wasn’t sure either of us would know how to act if things changed, but it seemed like I didn’t have a choice now.

Black bears in the wild did not mate for life, but I was different. Everything about me was different . . . most importantly, the fact that I was a vampire, a shifter, and a witch. This was something that had never been seen before. As if that didn’t make me unique enough, when I shifted into my bear form, I was a Kermode - a genetic abnormality. Instead of black fur, mine was white, and in the wild, bears like mine only mated with each other.

I was an outcast on all fronts, it seemed. I didn’t fit with the vampires because I was a witch and a shifter too. I didn’t fit with the shifters because they felt like I was more vampire, and I was only tolerated by the witches because sometimes when I got too emotional, I couldn’t control my powers, which was very important when it came to protecting the coven and its secrets.

For the first time in our entire non-relationship, Aksel blew me away with kind words rather than being angry and critical.

“I think you’re a smart and talented woman who tries to hide it beneath a sharp and jagged exterior that was devised to keep people from getting too close and hurting you somehow. You’re not alone, Stassi. There are people far and wide who love you even when you don’t want them to, and we want you to be safe and happy.” Aksel looked away and sighed deeply before he said, “Come with me to Cas and Nikki’s for dinner tonight, and let’s talk about what’s going on.”

“You love me?”

“That’s what you’re focused on right now? Seriously?”

“Well, do you?”

“There’s a part of me that loves everything about you, and even though I’ve been trying to cut that out like a cancer for the last hundred years, it just won’t go away.”

“Oh.”

“That’s it? I tell you that I don’t hate you most of the time and all you can say is ‘oh’?”

“You’ve gotta give me a minute to process, you impatient ass.”

“You make me want to face the dawn wearing gasoline-soaked underwear.”

I shook my head and ignored the yearning in my chest and rapid flutter of my heart that had begun when I heard the ‘L’ word come out of his mouth and said, “Well, I happen to be able to throw fireballs and have excellent aim. Give me a heads up when you put those on, and I’ll gladly help you out.”

“Be ready at seven o’clock. I’ll pick you up.”

I watched Aksel turn and stride away as if he didn’t have a care in the world while I could feel my heart pounding as if it would come out of my chest. I was trying my hardest not to focus on what he’d said because I knew he didn’t really mean it.

He couldn’t.

Aksel and I hated each other, and everyone knew that. Well, everyone except me.

◆◆◆

AKSEL

I could feel Stassi’s gaze on my back, and it took everything in me not to turn around and yank her out of that SUV.

I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do more - kiss her senseless or put her over my knee and spank her ass for being so obstinate and infuriating.

It seemed that every time I talked to her, she got me so worked up that I couldn’t control my emotions. I found myself either bending her over the nearest surface or letting my mouth run wild and saying things I didn’t want to admit to myself, let alone to her.

I needed to calm down and find my center before I spent time with Stassi tonight. I knew that what she was going to hear from Cas would upset her, and when Stassi was upset and I was near, she aimed that vicious tongue straight at me but not in a good way. I pulled my phone out before I got into my favorite car - a 1969 Mustang with a brandy exterior and white leather interior - and called my friend Blair. I’d just returned to town after a two-week stay with her and “the boys” - the young men we’d taken under our wing soon after they were turned by my sire. She was probably sick of my company, but I needed someone to talk me off the ledge.

When she answered, I said, “I’m about to commit fifteen felonies all on the same beautiful woman.”

“I take it you had a run-in with Stassi?” Blair asked.

“It’s my fault. I sought out her company, and when that encounter didn’t prove as productive as I needed, I did it again a few hours later.”

“A double dose in one day? Are you injured?”

“Cut the sarcasm, Blair. I’ve reached my quota for the day, and I have to pick her up for dinner in just a few hours.”

“ Three times? You’re not injured, you’re mental.”

“Where are you?”

“I’m at home going through the mail I got while we were out of town.”

“I’ll be there in half an hour.”

I hung up before she could respond and tossed my phone into the passenger seat. Once I was calm enough to safely traverse the roads without killing an innocent, I pulled out of the parking lot and made my way through Springblood and then took the entrance through the resort tunnel down into the valley.

Blair’s spacious home was at the end of the main road that wound down into Mereu. She had purchased Drasil’s property from the town after his banishment, so she owned more land than any of the other residents. She put it to good use, though, since her house was almost always full of children and young people.

She currently had some older teenagers staying in small guest houses across the large expanse of yard from the main dwelling. I hoped they wouldn’t be present when I poured my heart out to my friend and waited for her to laugh in my face. When I arrived, the front door was open, so I took that as an invitation and walked right in. When I called out to her, she answered from the kitchen. I was surprised to find her sitting at the counter with a pile of mail in front of her while having a cup of tea with two of our friends.

Hadley Everard and Rose Davies had been friends with Blair since the beginning of time . . . at least the beginning of their time as vampires - which, after hundreds of years on earth, was really the only time that mattered to beings like us.

Blair had turned Hadley eons ago during a famine that crippled their home country of Ireland. Our friend Rose had been turned a long time ago by a vampire whose name she never learned, and then mentored by Blair just like so many other vampires had been through the years.

The fact that Blair was Haldey’s sire was important because a good relationship with the one who created you helped insure a successful transition. In most cases, it also created lifelong friendships like it had between them. Since Rose came along a short time after, the three had developed a sort of sisterhood that was impenetrable. There were other women who belonged to their little bloodthirsty group, but these three were at the very core of each other's lives.

When they were together, they were unstoppable, but so were the insults and advice . . . both given in equal measure.

“I didn’t realize you had company,” I said by way of greeting as I walked into the room.

“You didn’t ask or give me time to tell you.”

“True.”

“If you had known we were here, would you have come?” Rose asked cheekily.

“Absolutely not. I need advice, not derision.”

“Oh, Aksel. After all these years, you still wear your heart on your sleeve,” Hadley chided. When I glared at her, she giggled and said, “I could barely keep a straight face when I said that.”

“What’s got you so worked up, my friend?” Blair asked as she put the stack of mail aside and picked up her tea cup. She motioned toward an empty seat and the tea service. Once I was seated, I poured myself a cup, adding a cube of sugar and a splash of milk. “We haven’t even been home an entire day. You’d think you’d be tired of my company by now.”

“Never,” I argued honestly. “I have something I’d like to hear your thoughts on.”

“Do tell,” Hadley said as she propped her chin in her hand. “I’m all ears.”

Rose leaned forward and smiled at me before she said, “Me too!”

I glanced at the women before I looked back at Blair and sighed. “Is there any chance that you might be willing to ask them to leave so they don’t get any more ammunition to use against me?”

“Not a single sliver of a chance,” Blair said with a grin.

“We’ve been friends for an age, Aksel. You can talk to us,” Rose encouraged.

“It’s about a woman, isn’t it?” Hadley asked in awe.

When I nodded, she gasped, and without thinking, I asked, “Why is that so hard to fathom?”

“You’re so distant and indifferent when it comes to women. I just thought . . . Well, I wasn’t sure, but . . .”

Rose smiled and said, “We thought you were gay.”

Blair sputtered and coughed before she grabbed the linen napkin from her lap to wipe the mess she’d created. When she was done, she cleared her throat and said, “I guess that answers my question about whether or not you’ve been intimate with any of my friends.”

“I’ve had plenty of relationships over the years!” I argued. At the same time, Rose and Hadley exclaimed, “Eww.” I looked at them in shock and asked, “What the hell would make you react that way?”

“This is not a tea party to dump on Aksel. We’re here to listen and help,” Blair said cheerfully.

I pinched the bridge of my nose as I squeezed my eyes closed, wondering if they’d think it rude if I just disappeared. I had almost decided to do just that when Hadley’s comment shocked me into a momentary stupor.

“She has to be a complete doormat or they’ll never get along.”

“She’s not a doormat! She’s the most infuriating woman that’s ever walked the earth. If she’d been around when the dinosaurs roamed, her presence would explain their demise because they would have jumped into the nearest volcano to get away from her constant harping and smartass comments. She’s the reason the ice caps are melting - because every time she opens her blasted mouth, fire comes out and it’s always aimed at me!”

“Stassi can be a little bit . . . aggressive. Is that the word I’m looking for?” Blair asked. When I shrugged, she said, “She’s a wonderful witch . . . uh . . . vampire. I’m completely screwing up this pep talk, aren’t I?”

“What is she exactly?” Rose asked. “I’ve always wondered but felt it rude to ask.”

“And yet you just did,” I mumbled.

“She’s a hybrid of everything,” Blair answered.

“Everything?” Hadley asked.

“She’s a very powerful witch that also shifts into a stunningly unique bear, and she is a vampire,” Blair explained.

Rose and Hadley looked shocked, so I added, “And every part of her hates me to my core.”

“She gets him so worked up that anyone who is paying attention can see that if he’d give it half a chance, he’d be head over heels for her. I think she might feel the same way.”

Rose nodded in agreement with Blair’s observation and said, “There is a thin line between love and hate.”

“Oh, this is going to be fun to watch,” Hadley said with glee.

“I had plans to visit the coast, but I think I’ll stay here for a while,” Rose said cheerfully. “I assume since Blair knew just who you were talking about that there’s a history there.”

“He’ll claim there isn’t, but they have hate sex at least once a decade before they go back to pretending that the other one doesn’t exist,” Blair told the women.

“That explains a lot because I’ve always seen the sparks but assumed that was because she was trying to resist setting you on fire,” Rose said.

“That’s true,” Hadley said. “You do have a way about you, Aksel.”

“I’m not sure if that’s an insult or a compliment,” I admitted.

“It could go either way,” Hadley said as she raised her eyebrows. “Now, talk to us about Stassi.”

Rose commented, “I like her. She’s one of the few people I’ve ever met that’s completely without artifice. You get what you get with her, and she doesn’t seem to care if you like it or not. That’s refreshing.”

“She’s right. Stassi is uniquely awesome in that she speaks her mind while managing to still be a wonderful person who is pleasant to be around,” Hadley agreed.

“She’s got my vote for the same reasons that Rose and Hadley mentioned and because she keeps you on your toes. I think you do care about her. If you didn’t, then she wouldn’t be able to stir such emotion in you,” Blair said. “You have to admit that you’re not exactly the kind of man who shows a softer side very often.”

I ignored that observation and asked, “Why am I so drawn to her? We just keep coming back to each other. I sought her out today - twice! ”

“The two of you shared a long trip across the mountains all those years ago, and I think that you’ve felt something for her ever since,” Blair remarked. “You cared for her when you didn’t have to, and like I said before - that’s not your forte. Don’t get me wrong, Aksel, you’ve got a heart of gold for those you love, but for those you don’t, you have no interest in their well-being in any way. Except when it comes to Stassi.”

“Do you believe in soulmates, Aksel?” Rose asked. When I scoffed she said, “Okay, then let’s look at that situation differently. You were thrown together during horrible circumstances and haven’t been able - or wanted - to avoid each other since. Maybe your heart is trying to tell your brain that you’ve found the one.”

“Or maybe your brain knows that already and is trying to convince your heart,” Hadley agreed.

“Or maybe you just like to be around her because she’s the only woman who doesn’t cower when you get that look on your face,” Blair added.

“What look?” I asked.

“That one,” the three women said in unison.

“I don’t know what it is about her, but I feel a pull every time she’s near. We always end up naked, and when we do it’s earth-shattering, but inevitably, one of us says something that fuels the other’s ire. Then our encounter ends in insults before we go our separate ways again - sometimes for months, other times for years. But then the pull gets to be too much, and I find myself looking for a reason to seek her company. It’s a vicious cycle I’m not sure I even want to stop.”

“You need to be honest with yourself or you’ll always stay on that roller coaster and never be fulfilled,” Blair said.

“But what if she laughs in my face?”

“Then you set your mind to never falling into that pattern again,” Hadley said sadly. “Sometimes that’s the only way to stop the cycle. It hurts, but in the end, once the pain of loss subsides, you’ll be better for it.”

“What are you saying?”

“Try something different, Aksel. Don’t just let your encounters be a quickie in the nearest alcove - make them a memory you can look back on with fondness years down the road. And if she begins to feel the same way, you can look back on them together.”

“You want me to romance her?” I asked Blair.

“Yes,” the women chorused.

“Do that and you might find that she’s the missing piece that completes your heart,” Rose said dreamily.

“Or she’ll set you on fire and roast marshmallows while she watches you burn,” Blair said with a grimace.

“Are you willing to risk that for love?” Hadley asked.

“I don’t know that love has anything to do with us,” I admitted.

“Bullshit,” Blair snapped. “If you didn’t love her, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

I didn’t say anything, but I had to admit she might be right . . . I just wasn’t willing to do it out loud.