Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Jason had really messed up this time.

He’d messed up before. Lots.

But not like this. He shifted the car into fifth gear as he merged onto the highway. The cold light of dawn made him feel ill.

Jason Sutter.

He’d almost broken right there and told her everything. Which would have probably completely freaked her out, given that they’d just had sex, and she didn’t even know his last name.

How would she ever forgive him for this?

She couldn’t forgive him for this.

He didn’t forgive himself for this.

What could he say? “Hey, Jen. I lied to you about my last name. It’s Cavanaugh. Like my brother, coincidentally. Except he told you it was Connor. That’s right. You’re sleeping with your ex-boyfriend’s brother. Yep. We’re both liars. And your son, well, he’s my nephew. He’s also inherited hundreds of millions of dollars...”

His brain stopped at that point. But he wanted her. He didn’t want her for one more night of sex. They’d fucked twice after that and it hadn’t been enough.

He wanted to make her smile. To hear her tell him about losing her virginity while she did a striptease. Or her biggest pet peeve.

He wanted to watch her pretend he hadn’t messed up an entire batch of playdough. Who made their own playdough anyway?

She did.

She was gorgeous, articulate, and fun.

And he’d enjoyed the time he’d spent with Colby, too. He hadn’t known what to say to him, but the kid didn’t seem to mind.

Jason pushed the car faster, speeding past a slowpoke in the left lane. One night with Jen had made things infinitely worse.

Jason Sutter. She was going to hate him.

Just as much as he hated himself.

“What sort of guys do you normally date?”

“Broken ones.”

He lifted his eyes to the rearview mirror, caught himself looking at it. Little did she know.

After he’d dropped her off, he felt as though he’d unraveled, the frays that had been wearing on the edge of his life tugged loose. She was unlike any woman he’d ever been with. And not just because the sex had been good.

The connection he felt with her went beyond that. To describe it wouldn’t do it justice.

His phone rang. TJ. He pressed the button on his steering wheel to answer. “What’s up?”

“Where the hell are you now?” TJ’s voice crackled, the service in the mountains less than reliable.

“On my way to West Virginia. I need to find my grandmother, even if it’s at the casino.”

“Then turn around. I’m sitting outside her house. She got home late last night.”

Jason cursed. The next exit wasn’t for a few miles. “All right.” His shoulders bunched, the tension in his chest like an acidic knot eating its way through his core. “Actually, don’t stay there. I need you to make sure Vickers doesn’t talk to Jen.”

“I’m not going to even ask how your little outing went last night.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Jason pushed the gas down, watching as the speedometer climbed higher. “I don’t want Vickers within ten yards of her or anyone in her family.”

“You know I’m not a bodyguard, right? Also, that’s a lot of people. Have you considered the alternative?”

“Which is?” The gray of the morning was turning brighter but not less gloomy. With the cloud cover that had rolled in overnight, Jason doubted the sun would make an appearance today.

“Coming clean.”

“I’m going to tell her. I just have to figure out a way how.”

“You’re like that Bible guy. You know the one with the plaques?”

Jason squinted. “Moses?”

“Yeah. Him. Holding your hands up and trying to keep a tidal wave back. Except you don’t have magical powers and shit.”

“Your theology might be a little lacking, TJ.”

“Not the point. The point is you can’t stop this from getting out. All you can do is mitigate the outcome. She’s probably not going to take it so well since you’ve been screwing her both literally and figuratively, but the longer you don’t tell her, the worse it’s going to be.”

“You’re aware I actually have a therapist?”

“Free of charge. Actually, nix that. Maybe I’ll add it as a line item and then back charge you on all the advice I’ve been giving you.”

“Later.” He hung up as he veered toward the exit lane.

The phone rang immediately again, and Jason picked it up without looking. “Eat a dick, TJ.”

“Jason, it’s Bill Powell.”

Jason stiffened and glanced at the dashboard. Of course it was. He cringed. “How can I help you, sir?” Truthfully, he’d wanted to tell Bill to eat a dick for a while, so maybe it wasn’t the worst mistake ever.

“We’ve been trying to get in touch with you, and you’ve been unavailable. Now I know you’re going through a tough time with the death of your grandfather, but enough is enough, son.”

“I’m not your son,” Jason snapped, downshifting as he got closer to the stop sign at the end of the exit.

“Listen here. I don’t know where you are or what the hell you think you’re doing—”

“Cut the bullshit, Bill. You know exactly where I am. You sent Ned Vickers to follow me.”

“And he tells me you’ve taken up with a girl in your mother’s hometown.”

Jason drew a sharp breath. The implications of that sentence were a lot to unpack. Ned had not only told Bill about Jen, but he’d outed his mother’s hidden background, too. To the Powells. Who cared about things like breeding and lineage. That Bill Powell could destroy the beloved image of Jason’s mother among their social circle was a threat.

“My fiancée, actually,” Jason managed. TJ hadn’t exaggerated the part about this spiraling out of his control.

Lies, lies, and more lies.

The pause on Bill’s end was prolonged. Amanda was his daughter, after all. He’d give a shit about it. “Jason?”

“Yes, sir?”

“You’re fired. You’ll get an email to confirm what we’ve discussed here.”

The line went dead.

Jason pulled the car over onto the shoulder. Getting out, he slammed the door, feeling the need to rage at something, someone.

He was literally alone on the side of the road.

He slammed the fleshy part of his fists against the window, beating the glass. They’d wanted him out for a while. Their plan all along had been to kick him out. With Thomas alive, two Cavanaughs were more than enough to keep things just so. But with his grandfather dead and Jason’s stake being so uncertain, they could do whatever they wanted.

They would dissolve the company even faster without him.

He tore his sunglasses from his face, rubbed his eyes, then forced himself to swallow a few deep breaths and climbed back into the driver’s seat.

He had to talk to Mildred. This time, he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

The door to Mildred’s house opened, and she stood there, still clad in a nightgown, hair up in curlers.

Jason crossed his arms. “No shotgun this time?”

She gave a weary sigh. “What do you want?”

“Five minutes of your time.”

Mildred gave him an impatient look, then pushed the door open.

“You’re going to let me in?” He stepped through the doorway. An old scent from his childhood came toward him. Like the combination of cedarwood and mothballs.

Mildred put a hand on the rail and continued up the stairs without looking back at him. “When a dog has the runs, do you let it shit on your front door where everyone has to step through it?”

What the hell did that even mean? Jason closed the front door and followed her. “I’m the dog in this scenario?”

Mildred gave him a look, her eyes gleaming. “You’re the shit. Thomas Cavanaugh was the dog. He’s the one that formed you into this.” Mildred gave a tired wave of her hand toward him. “It doesn’t have to make sense. I’m old enough to string words together and just have everyone assume I don’t have the brain cells left to know what I’m saying.”

She reached the top of the staircase and continued shuffling toward her kitchen. “Want some breakfast?”

He gave the back of her head a puzzled glance. She seemed to sense it and gave him another look, with a shrug. “You are my grandson. It’s not my fault you don’t know me at all.”

Mildred. His only living relative. The thought hadn’t occurred to him before. Besides Colby, anyway.

She walked over to the kitchen and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. With shaking fingers, she lit one and took a long drag.

“I didn’t know you smoked.” He observed her quietly, then sat at the worn, round kitchen table. There was only enough room at the table for four people. The chair creaked under his weight, the legs wobbling enough that he pictured himself falling on the red-and-yellow linoleum floor.

“I only smoke when I’m stressed. And don’t you tell me anything about how it’ll kill me. We all have to die of something, and I’ve lived long enough. Somehow, I keep outliving everyone.”

Jason chuckled. Instead, he held his hand out for a cigarette. He rarely smoked and mostly cigars when he did. Somehow the idea of sharing a smoke with Mildred was strangely comforting. She gave him a toothy smile. The package crinkled as she set it down on the table, lighter beside it.

Lighting one up, he leaned back in the chair, taking in the kitchen. The geese and chickens on the wallpaper had remained in his memory. The taste of tobacco was bitter in his mouth, the smoke stinging his throat. Mildred set out a glass ashtray and then sat beside him. “So you want to know about Kevin.”

The woman didn’t beat around the bush. He nodded.

Mildred tapped her cigarette. “You sure you’re ready to hear it?”

He leaned forward on his elbows. “Why wouldn’t I want to know about how my brother lived the last years before he died?”

The wrinkles around Mildred’s mouth cut deep lines as she frowned. “Kevin was in an awful state when he came looking for me. Took me three months to get him clean and sober. Then Jen gave him a reason to want to live.” Mildred wrinkled her nose, a bitter look settling into her features. “I always told Martha that man would ruin you boys. But she was just as afraid of him as you were.”

“Well, he’s dead now.” Jason watched the ends curling in at the tip of the cigarette in his hand. “They’re all dead. And Kevin’s son is my grandfather’s heir.” He’d spent the entire night thinking about it. Lying would never have gotten him anywhere with Mildred. If she found out the truth later, no nondisclosure agreement, no payoff would keep her silent. She’d proven throughout the years that she couldn’t be bought.

Mildred didn’t react, her chest rising and falling with soft breath as though he’d been conversing about the weather. “Except nobody knows Colby is a Cavanaugh. Which is why you turned up the moment you found out.”

She was as quick as he believed. Something about it gave him a satisfied feeling. His mother hadn’t been dumb either. Just stuck.

“Exactly. Grandfather didn’t know about Colby. He just knew Kevin went missing for a while. So he put in his will that if there was any other direct descendant, they would get everything, the shares in his company and his entire fortune. But if not, it goes to me.”

Mildred watched him for a few moments and then burst into laughter. Jason had been expecting an unusual reaction, but her outright mockery was hard to swallow. He watched her humorlessly, his jaw clenching. She laughed until there were tears in her eyes and then snuffed out her cigarette in the ashtray. “This is quite a situation, Jason. You must feel a bit like the brother of the prodigal son right now.”

He gave her a tight smile. Couldn’t have put it any better himself.

“So Colby is worth a few hundred million and . . . what? Inherits Cavanaugh Metals?”

Jason extinguished his cigarette, no longer in the mood to sit and share anything with Mildred. “A portion of it. My grandfather sold a majority stake a few years ago to Powell Enterprises.”

Mildred nodded slowly. “And you’re worth a few million? I’m assuming they paid you well, at least for the last few years. But you probably spent it, thinking you’d have a nice inheritance coming your way.” She winked. “I saw that car you were driving the other day.”

She wasn’t too far off. He had put some away in the bank and retirement accounts. But the bulk of his personal wealth was in investments and property. “That’s not the point,” he said, bristling. “Mildred, that money can’t just go to Colby.”

Mildred climbed out of her chair again and shuffled to the fridge. “Scrambled eggs?”

He didn’t answer, and she pulled out a carton of eggs from the door. As she shut it, he went on, “The company...my grandfather made a terrible deal with the Powells. I want to convert the entire company to a one-hundred-percent employee-owned. Set up a trust with my shares and use some of the money my grandfather left in his will to buy out the Powells. It’s not even for me. It’s for the people who have put their whole lives into Cavanaugh Metals and are going to lose their jobs with the way Bill Powell is running things. I don’t care about the legacy. I don’t care about the money—”

“That’s not true. You do care about the money.” Mildred snorted and gave him a pointed look. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.”

“I don’t want to see a couple of hundred good people out of work because my grandfather was a controlling asshole who didn’t listen to me about the Powells. And that’s why I need your help, Mildred. The Powells hired an infamous private investigator to see if they can find out if there’s anyone other than me who stands to inherit.”

Mildred cracked a few eggs into a mug and pulled a fork from a drawer. She turned her back to him, dragging a cast iron frying pan from the oven. “Your brother”—she set the pan on the grates of her stove with a bang—“he left Jen because he didn’t want your grandfather to ever find out about Colby.”

Her words stole the breath from his body. “What?”

Cutting a piece of butter, Mildred threw it onto the pan. She didn’t look at him. “You heard me. He loved that girl. Loved the baby she was going to have, too. I could have murdered him for leaving, but I can’t say I didn’t understand it. I think it damn near killed him.” She pulled a couple of slices of bread out of a bag and pushed them into the toaster.

When Mildred turned to look toward Jason, red rimmed her eyes. “Kevin never wanted Colby to grow up the way he did. Never wanted your grandfather to get one finger on Jen or his son. So he picked up and left in the middle of the night so Jen wouldn’t know where he’d gone. He swore me to secrecy.”

Jason’s throat tightened. He didn’t want to think about it. Didn’t want to imagine the desperation.

Didn’t want to register what it meant.

Mildred poured the eggs onto the frying pan and pulled out a spatula. “I know Thomas is dead now, and all I can say is good riddance. But if he thinks he can get his claws on my great-grandbaby from the grave, he’s got another thing coming. I don’t want Jen to know about Kevin. Just tell me what you need me to do.”

Jason set his elbows on the table and covered his face with his hands. “God, Mildred, why couldn’t you just have talked to me when I first got here?” He felt sick. Mildred would have helped him. Kevin had loved Jen. All of it was too much. He’d ruined things and made them impossible to fix.

Silence settled between them, the only sounds the gentle scraping of the spatula against the pan and the clock ticking on the wall. A plate clinked, and Mildred stopped in front of Jason, setting a plate of scrambled eggs and toast on the table. She took a deep breath and set her hand on his shoulder. “What did you do?”

Jason stared at the food she’d made him, too nauseated to eat. But he didn’t want to offend her by not taking her peace offering, either. He lifted the fork, his mind drifting over the mental image of Jen in his arms. Images he didn’t want to erase. Words seem to strangle his throat. At last, he managed, “I started a relationship with Jen.”

Mildred's eyes narrowed at him, and she sat across from him once again. “What sort of relationship?”

He wasn’t about to discuss his sex life with his grandmother. But he lifted his gaze to hers and gave her a hard look, one he knew she was wizened enough to understand. Her face fell and she shook her head. “There must be some sort of curse on your family name. Cavanaugh men just keep coming to Brandywood to ruin and steal their best women.”

Her eyes misted. “You look like my Martha, you know that?” She clasped her hands together, her thin and wiry frame seeming smaller. “Kevin didn’t. He was the spitting image of your dad. But you—you took after the Prices.”

“Mom never really talked about her family.” Jason shoved a forkful of eggs into his mouth, chewing slowly. It was better than he expected.

“How could she? And she died when you were so young.”

Fifteen. He’d been fifteen. But his mother had changed after his dad’s death.

He closed his eyes, not wanting to think about it. She had just stopped living, really. Stopped going outside, stopped going to parties. She’d wasted away and had been even thinner than Mildred had been when she’d died. An acute case of the flu and pneumonia had been enough to undo her. But her death had started long before then, with her broken heart.

Mildred was clearly lost in her own haunted thoughts. Her jaw moved as though she was grinding her teeth. “If he’d just have let me see her. Talk to her. I could have helped her. I was her mother, for God’s sake.”

When his grandfather had talked about Mildred, he’d always used some name. “Crazy old bat,” or “backwoods country loon.” Something like that. That voice had shaped Jason’s teenage years.

He’d been ashamed of Mildred when she showed up at his mom’s funeral. Ashamed of her clothes, her hair. Everything. Ashamed of the way she wore her grief openly and loudly.

And never once had he stopped to think about the person underneath that earthen, crusty veneer.

His guilt sat in his stomach heavily with the food he’d eaten. He cleared his throat and set the fork down. “Mildred, I—” He could barely get the words out. “About Mom’s funeral . . .” He couldn’t form the apology she deserved. How could words ever be enough?

She sighed, then reached for another cigarette. “Do you mind if I smoke while you eat?”

He shook his head.

“The truth is, Jason, I was angry with you. I gave up on you. Both of you. Until Kevin turned up on my doorstep. Then I knew. Kevin told me everything, you know.” Her hand shook as she lifted the cigarette to her lips. “And you need to understand something. You are not a bad person, Jason. And your dad’s death—”

“I don’t want to talk about that, Mildred.”

She chewed on the end of her cigarette, then gave a curt nod. “When you’re ready, I’ll be right here.” She set her elbows on the table. “Now let’s get back to Jen. That was pretty quick, don’t you think?”

Resisting the urge to face palm, Jason continued his breakfast. “I don’t even know how it happened.”

Mildred blew out a puff of air, her lips vibrating in a scoff. “Oh, come off it. If you don’t think I know how it happened, you’re out of your mind. I know exactly what happened. You took one look at her, and your penis took over.”

Jason blinked at her. For an old lady, she was surprisingly . . . candid. Perceptive. He choked on his guffaw. Then he stammered, “Maybe. But the problem is that the asshole the Powells hired to find out about Kevin is here in town now. He followed me. And he knows about you. It’s only a matter of time before he finds out about Jen and Colby.”

Mildred looked confused. “So if he knows about me, what are you doing here?”

“I need to figure out how to tell Jen about Kevin. And the inheritance.”

“You haven’t told her anything?” Mildred squinted at him.

“No.”

“Then it’s already too late. You’ve been lying to the girl. She’s never going to believe anything you have to say now.” Mildred shrugged.

He needed to tell her about the idea of asking Jen to marry him. And the paternity issue with Amanda. But their frail peace might not survive that last part. “Help me. She knows you’re Kevin’s grandmother, doesn’t she?”

Mildred nodded, flicking the ash from her cigarette into the ashtray. “We have dinner a couple of times a month. And I see her at church. I’d help with Colby more but my joints aren’t what they used to be.”

“She’s being evicted. I have to help her.” Jason finished the last bite of toast and scooted his chair back. He stood and crossed the kitchen. Grabbing a clean mug from the dish rack, he filled it with water. “And even if I do nothing and Powell’s guy catches on to the situation with Jen, my grandfather instructed that the CEO of Cavanaugh Metals would manage the trust for a minor heir that wasn’t my son. Colby probably would see next to nothing until he’s eighteen. Maybe even longer.”

“And you want to—”

“Marry her. Adopt Colby. Not for romantic reasons. Just as a financial and legal transaction.”

She didn’t react, her gaze analytical. “But wouldn’t the trustee still be the CEO fellow?”

Jason shook his head. “Not necessarily. My grandfather’s will stated that on the off chance I had a child, he or she would be the heir, but I would be free to manage their estate. The Powells would probably take it to court, but my lawyer thinks I have a solid argument.”

Mildred crushed out her cigarette. “Sounds like a hopeless mess. You shouldn’t have gotten involved with Jen.”

He shifted, gazing out the small kitchen window. His grandmother’s house backed up to the woods—woods that looked overgrown with brush and thorns. An ancient deck on the back of her house was covered with green mildew, the boards lifting. Did she have anyone to help her with this place?

“Noted.” He gave her a taut smile.

“I’m serious. And Jen...” Mildred shook her head. “I don’t know what that girl is thinking. She already went through enough with Kevin. You’d think she’d learned her lesson.” Mildred stood, then came to stand beside him. “The longer you wait to tell that girl the truth, the more she’s going to be convinced you only want her for the money. Which is true, isn’t it?”

The grimness of her words made him wince. “I want to help her. More so now than ever. If Kevin left because he loved her, she deserves a lot more than she’s been dealt.”

“That’s all very nice, Jason. But would you be offering to marry her if you didn’t want the money? If you didn’t have a vested interest in the whole thing?”

No. But this isn’t just about me. His grandfather was an ass, but there was a way to keep the integrity of what his family had built intact, especially for the employees who had dedicated their lives to it. And for me, too. And he hated the idea of the Powells winning.

“You want my advice? Walk away. Sure, she might end up struggling for some years. We’ll all pitch in to help, though. You stay, and you’re going to destroy her. She made a mistake and slept with you. Okay. She hasn’t gotten in too deep. But another broken heart?”

“And what if she’s okay with marrying me for money?” Jason narrowed his gaze at her. She’d given him nothing else to work with. Could he offer Jen such a cold transaction? He cared about her. But everything else that came along with marriage wasn’t really on the table for him.

Been there. Done that. Never again.

“She may be willing to. She may.” Mildred patted his hand. “But money doesn’t hold people together when the love you ache for is gone. I’d tell you to ask your mother, but we can’t, can we?” Mildred let his hand go and rubbed her bony knuckles. “I’ll tell you what. If the truth is what you want to tell her, I’ll help you find a way. But I’m going to have to think about it.”