Chapter Twenty-Four Bee

Chapter Twenty-Four Bee

Thursday evening, December 21, 2023

Bee couldn’t begin to imagine why Beth of all people would text her about Knox.

How’s he doing? Beth had asked her the night before. Clover is worried.

She thought about screenshotting the messages and sending them to Ayana to decipher but thought better of it. Knowing Ayana,

she’d probably send back a picture of a tarot card and wax philosophical about life’s changes and the colors of the wind or

whatever. Worse, Bee would then have to explain to Ayana why she had called Clover about Knox.

She felt a headache coming on. Surely her sister had not managed to become friends with the woman she had swapped houses with. Surely they had not become such close friends that Beth would be texting on her behalf. Surely. Bee said the word to herself so much it began to lose meaning. There was absolutely nothing sure about anything, as far as she was concerned.

And speaking of Knox, she hadn’t heard a peep from him since he stormed out of the house, all red-faced and upset, because

she had the gall to exist. She couldn’t help that Clover’s house was the house she had chosen. Nor could she help that she

and Jimmy got along or that Clover’s aunt liked her. She’d made absolutely none of these decisions in relation to Knox, and

absolutely not so she could “take over” someone else’s life. All she’d done was be herself—something that seemed to piss off

all the people she cared about.

A knock on the door wrenched her from her thoughts, but Bee was thankful for the distraction. She was sure her next poem was

going to be about murder. She disentangled herself from the blanket she’d shoved her feet under and walked to the door, surprised

to find Knox on the other side.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I wanted to apologize,” he started, but Bee cut him off.

“Did you get a ride here?”

“From the cabin? No, why would I—”

“Why are you so interested in hobbling on your foot alone? Do you want a broken ankle? Is that what strokes your boat?”

He blinked at her. “Strokes... my boat?”

“You know what I mean!” She crossed her arms in an attempt to look menacing, but he only laughed harder.

“I don’t. I have no idea what that means! What is stroking the boat? Is it an oar? I don’t think you’re supposed to use one that way. Although I do have a crutch now”—he looked thoughtfully at it for a moment—“which is kind of like an oar, I guess.”

“Ugh.” She threw her hands up. “Will you come in here out of the cold then?” She led him to the couch, though of course he

didn’t need any directions. Once he’d settled down, she stomped over to the kitchen. She poured herself and him each a glass

of water and then stomped back to him. “Drink this.”

“Why?”

“Because I needed something to do with my hands instead of throttle you, because you’re injured. Now drink before I pour it

on your head.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, still grinning. Bee watched the bob of his Adam’s apple as he downed the glass, and it only made her

want to throttle him more.

“Thank you,” she said daintily. Then she took a deep breath and took a seat on Jimmy’s love seat, crossing her legs and putting

her hands on her lap primly. “Now then. What did you want?”

Knox’s look turned serious. “I wanted to apologize for the other night. I was out of line.”

Bee took a deep breath and let the anger that had been building up for the past few days seep out of her. “Thank you,” she

said. Then: “I understand why you’d be upset. But I’m not trying to Jordan Peele your ex-fiancée’s life. I have my own shit

to figure out. I’m just passing through.”

Knox nodded. “No, I get that. Totally. I just got caught up in my own feelings about Clover, and the holidays, and how entwined both of our families still are. And then you come along and...”

She waited for him to finish. His eyes flicked down to her lips, and she felt her breath catch. Then he grunted and adjusted,

moving his hand to the back of his neck.

“Anyway,” he said, though she noticed his voice was just a tad deeper. “Anyway,” he said again, but he didn’t say anything else.

Bee rooted around for something to offer, but found herself grasping at nothing. She let the silence hang. If he wasn’t going

to talk about the elephant in the room, far be it from her to bring it up.

After another moment of silence, Knox cleared his throat and gestured toward the TV. “You want to watch something?”

Bee blinked. “Oh. Sure. What did you have in mind?”

“Something about boats. I figured you might need a primer on how they work.”

Bee grabbed a pillow and threw it at him. He let it hit him, but it didn’t erase the dimples in his cheeks or the way his

eyes shined with humor. Whatever tension had been in the room dissipated almost instantly, and Bee suddenly felt that sitting

on Jimmy’s love seat created too great a distance. She wanted to be closer to him, to feel the warmth of his skin against

hers.

But the words of Taylor’s friends flashed through her brain like lightning through a storm: Maybe he’s playing the field. The words echoed against her skull. He might like her, sure. That much was obvious. But Taylor had thought he liked her too, and how many other girls? How many other girls did he mea sure up against the one woman he’d been set to marry, and how quickly did he decide they failed? With Roger, she always wondered what it was she was measuring up against, what it was that he was looking for, since he never seemed to stop looking, even when she was standing right next to him. His eyes always wandered, and then eventually his actions followed.

Bee might’ve been Knox’s current choice, but she had no way of knowing how many others he had lined up. You’re leaving soon, another voice whispered in her ear. What does it matter? She supposed it didn’t, except that this wasn’t what she came here for. That much she knew.

“My sister and Clover seem to have hit it off,” she said suddenly. Knox furrowed his brow.

“Your sister?”

“My twin,” Bee elaborated. “I have a hard time imagining anyone finding my sister suitable as someone to ‘hang out’ with,

but I guess they’ve gotten acquainted.”

“Well, if she’s anything like you, I can see the appeal.”

Bee bit her tongue. She was trying so hard to avoid his charms, and he just kept shooting them at her like arrows. “Besides

looks, we’re nothing alike. My sister is...” Bee racked her brain. “She’s amazing. I mean, if I’m one hundred percent honest—and

I can be, because she’s not here—she’s just sharp, on top of her game, and utterly accomplished. I mean, when you talk about

someone who rolled out of bed brimming with perfection, that’s Beth in a nutshell.”

Knox nodded thoughtfully. “It sounds like you like her.”

“I love her. I just don’t think she likes me very much. She and my parents, they’re not my biggest fans.”

At this Knox frowned and sat forward. “I can’t imagine why. You’re hilarious, and witty, and fun to be around. You light up at the smallest things, and it makes everyone around you light up too. You’re always looking for ways to help people—you even helped Bob with his damn slogan for the grocery store. I know I made a big deal about it, but it’s not hard to figure out why Janine asked you to spend the holidays with us or why Jimmy’s always talking about you. You’re incredible, Bee. Anyone who doesn’t see that needs to get their headlights checked.”

Bee stared at him, her lips parted with complete and utter surprise. “I... I don’t know what to say to that.”

Knox cleared his throat and sat back on the couch. “Yeah, well, I just think you should know, is all.”

“Thank you,” she said breathlessly. That was completely unexpected, and if she thought harder about it, she was sure she wouldn’t

be able to stop the tears that would start to flow. “So, um... what about you? Any sad family stories or big dreams you

want to tell me about?”

He blew a puff of air from his chest. Even from her seat, she could feel his anger on her behalf still radiating, though he

was trying hard to let it go. He thought for a moment and then seemed to find an answer she’d find most amusing. “I used to

want to be a fighter pilot.”

Her eyes couldn’t help but light up. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he said. “My dad was in the military and would tell me all about it. But then he and my mom divorced when I was sixteen,

and it messed my mom up real bad. After that, I didn’t think about the military too much.”

“Oh my god, Knox,” she whispered, suddenly feeling silly for her previous spark of interest. She leaned forward and touched his hand. “That’s horrible. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not a problem,” he said. “I mean, I got a little sad, of course. Stayed with my uncle one summer just because, you know,

after a couple months, I started to think I was a tough guy, or whatever. Tried to sneak stolen goods from Bob’s store and

all that. My mom sent me to stay with my uncle, and it straightened me out.”

“What’d he do?” she asked.

“He made me clean out his horse stables for three months straight.” Knox laughed. “I mean, I was used to the work, but my

mom usually went easy on me, and anyway, we don’t have that many horses. But my uncle is a racing man. His horses are no joke,

and he made sure their stables were spotless. Or I did, anyway. Ooh, my back and legs ached for weeks. But it got my head

on straight.”

Bee tried to imagine him as a scrawny teenager with a bad attitude, mucking horse crap for hours on end. It was a pretty funny

image, she had to admit. “It looks like it worked out,” she said. “You seem like a perfect gentleman to me.”

He gave her a shy grin and squeezed her hand, making her finally realize she hadn’t yet let go. “I’ve heard that a few times,

I guess.”

His eyes searched hers as his thumb ran across her knuckle. She knew that if he moved forward, she would meet him halfway.

She would let herself give in. And for the briefest moment, she thought she might.

But then she pulled back. Resettled into her seat. His eyes stayed on hers, but she pretended not to notice. Instead she reached for the remote and handed it to him.

He sighed but kept a smile on his face. “What do you recommend?”

After three episodes of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Knox nodded off, succumbing to the two pain pills Bee insisted he take. She tucked him in with a heavy blanket and allowed

herself only the briefest moment to brush his hair from his eyes. She resisted the urge to kiss his cheek, no matter how sweet

he looked.

Her gaze swept over his sleeping form, and she resolved to give herself at least that moment. What she was going to do with

it, if anything at all, was a problem for another day. Then she turned and made her way up the stairs.