9. Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

Jordan

W hy I’d asked Rogue to come out here tonight, I hadn’t quite pieced together. Skating on Rockvale Lake was something Sadie, Henry, and I used to do all the time when we were kids, mostly trying to win in a shuffling race across the ice or fighting on top of it.

After spending time with the fam, I’d needed to get out and blow off steam, but half of my siblings would consider this childish now. Maybe something was wrong with me, but I figured if I could pay my bills and hold down a steady job, I could still chase thrills. What was life if I couldn’t squeeze every drop of joy from it?

And while I could’ve asked Hal or Chad, tonight there was only one person I wanted to see. Ever since we’d cracked open the seal on hooking up, I found myself thinking about him more and more. How fucking hot he was, with those lanky limbs and his long, blond hair. How goddamn creative he was, with his eye for graphics and design, whether it was imprinted on paper or his body. How loyal he’d always been through the years as we’d gotten into one scrape after another.

“If I end up with a broken limb, I’m blaming you,” Rogue warned as he led the way toward the lake. I’d brought a lantern to scout out the area for any spots that might not be frozen completely over, but the Wyoming winter was faithful in that it was freezing as fuck.

“You’ll heal,” I promised, since I couldn’t vouch for complete safety. I’d ended up with a twisted ankle or two from doing this in the past and more than a few scrapes and bruises.

“That’s not reassuring,” Rogue said. “You’re aware I’m not made of rubber, right?”

“Want me to carry you?” I teased as we reached the edge of the lake. The whole surface spanned out, barely visible apart from the gleam of the citrine lamplight spilling across it.

Rogue shot me a look. “That’s an even worse idea.”

“Come on.” I took the first step onto the ice. The shift was enough to almost knock me on my ass, but once I righted myself, I fell into the old shuffle I’d gotten used to with navigating the lake. I reached out behind me, extending a hand to Rogue.

His shoulders were bunched up, and his golden hair was tucked under a beanie, but I wished it was down and splayed across his shoulders. The idea of tugging on it while I fucked him from behind had been playing on a loop in my head from the moment I’d gotten my hands on him. Obsessed was putting it lightly.

He slipped his gloved hand in mine. I barely had a grasp on the ice beneath me, but I did my best to spread my weight so we wouldn’t both topple. When he slid on, I helped guide him forward, albeit shakily.

The chill from the ice made the air crisper, and I gulped it down, the sharpness making me more awake, more aware. The darkened expanse of the lake spread before us, the ice only glittering where the rays of my lantern reached back on the shore. The moon cast just enough light to guide the way, far from full. My heart thumped hard as we shuffled forward, away from the shore. Something about doing this had captivated me since I was a kid.

Maybe it was because stepping out into the unknown always had an irresistible allure, or maybe because this was far too much like life. Just one step after another in the dark, trusting you’d end up at the right destination.

Back when I was a kid, I’d plunged ahead with no thought. It wasn’t until lately that the lack of clarity over the destination had begun to bother me. That I’d begun to halt when I used to blindly race forward.

Tonight, though, with Rogue’s hand in mine as we skated forward, something clicked into place I’d been missing. I didn’t want to change, but having a partner in crime, someone to share an adventure with?

Yeah, I longed for that in a fierce way.

Where we could shuffle across an icy lake at night together, trusting if one of us fell, the other would be there to yank them up. My chest ached with the realization.

I pulled to a stop.

Rogue slammed into my back, and we wobbled, but I held on tight to his hand.

“What the fuck was that about?” he said.

“I was getting contemplative.” I didn’t mind a little honesty, especially around him.

“Maybe pick somewhere other than the middle of a frozen lake to get contemplative,” he grumbled. Still, he kept his hand in mine, swinging our arms back and forth. Warmth spread through me slowly like the smooth glide of whisky, and I gripped him a little harder. Nick was the last person I’d expected to feel this mixture of safety and euphoria with, but we already had a solid trust built up between us. I’d just never expected anything to happen in the chemistry department.

Except now that it had…my mind ran a thousand miles a minute .

“Come on, let’s race back.” I finally let go of his hand. His eyes met mine, and at first, a reluctance lingered as he stared across the sheet of ice before us. We’d made it midway across the lake. However, the hesitation turned to a gorgeous spark I was addicted to, and a smile crept to his lips.

“You’re on.” He let out a whoop and took off before I could give a signal.

He skated forward like he’d done this before, his center of gravity low to the ground and with finesse. I tested with one step, two, then raced after him, moving over the dark ice in steady strokes. The cool air iced my cheeks, and adrenaline coursed through my veins, the thump, thump, thump mirroring my heart. Giddiness whirled through me like snowflakes as I chased after him and caught up within mere seconds.

The fact that he didn’t give me a derisive look or scoff, that he trusted me, was heady. Fuck, Nick was opening my eyes in so many damn ways.

He’d almost skidded to the edge, and I pushed off to lurch ahead. I didn’t try to stop my momentum, just collided with him. Our bodies crashed together in this riotous thwack, and we tumbled forward onto the shore.

I careened on top of him, the breath escaping me for a moment. I pushed up slightly but didn’t move to get off, and he rotated beneath me until we stared at each other.

“I’d ask if that was necessary, but I know better than asking.” He pursed his lips, a softness in his gaze. My heart skipped a beat. How had I missed this all these years? It wasn’t as if my bi-curiosity had crash-landed out of nowhere. There had been the occasional guy who turned my head, but those instances weren’t as frequent or as easy as sliding into a relationship with a woman .

However, I couldn’t deny I enjoyed everything with Nick, whether hooking up or doing stupid shit with him.

I leaned down and pressed my lips to his. Electricity rippled through me, and he melted into the kiss. Nick slipped his tongue into my mouth, deepening it, and we lay there on the icy lake’s edge, the only heat the kind generated between us. It was a transcendent sort of experience that lifted me up, up, up until I was no longer tethered to the icy surface.

No, we were sailing across the stars.

I pulled back for a breath and reluctantly moved off him, even though I could lose myself in making out with him just about anywhere. I’d never been the hearts and roses type—more cliff dives and whisky—but I’d never managed to woo anyone with that. However, he’d aligned with that side of my personality from the start.

“We can go sit by the lantern,” I suggested, dusting my knees off.

“You do realize we could do the whole sitting thing in a heated area. Inside.” Still, Nick strode past me and plunked down next to where he’d left his messenger bag. I walked over, and I didn’t miss the heat in his eyes as he scanned me. I couldn’t help but add a bit more swagger to my step, Nick’s perusal sending a burst of lust through my veins.

“Yeah, but inside, you can’t see this.” I sat next to him, close enough that our knees bumped together, and I pointed up.

The stars in Collier’s Creek were like nothing else.

Pure, crystalline, and razor sharp against the blue-velvet canvas. There was an immenseness out here I craved, a feeling I could spend my whole life chasing. I might not have lofty dreams or goals, but I wanted to enjoy my time on this earth.

And more than anything, I wanted to enjoy it with someone by my side .

Nick reached into his messenger bag and pulled out a bottle of JD, and my heart tumbled. Such a simple, stupid thing, but when he unscrewed the top and offered it to me, I lost myself in his eyes. In the tenderness there, the camaraderie I’d been longing for.

He was the whole damn package.

What I was going to do about that was another thing, but my mind chewed on the thought. I grabbed the bottle of whisky from him and took a swig. The liquid burned its way down, exactly like I’d hoped. Our legs pressed against each other’s, and even with my ass going numb on the cold ground, the heat generated by our bodies, along with the whisky warmth, was enough to keep me comfortable.

“I have to ask. What spurred all this?” Nick gestured out at the lake.

The flippant answer rested on my tongue, the one I spouted without any thought. Just a whim. An impulse.

However, I ended up blurting out the truth.

“I’m so tired of being the joke to the town.” Apparently, it was a two-for-one today with confessions. “The family get-together brought all that to the surface, and I wanted to escape for a little.”

“I’m glad you texted,” Nick said, warmth shining in his eyes. A few strands of his honey hair had slipped from his beanie.

My pulse quickened. When the fuck had he become this spellbinding? I took another swig of whisky, ignoring the feelings rising inside me. “Hey, who else would I call but my literal partner in crime?”

Nick rolled his eyes. “How long have you been waiting to use that one? Don’t answer.” He leveled me with a look. “You know people don’t think you’re a fuckup, right? They don’t take you seriously because you deflect with humor constantly. Try throwing something serious in the mix once in a while and see what happens.”

A shiver ran down my spine. Fuck, was it really so simple? My impulsivity had always gotten me into trouble, and it hadn’t worn off, so I’d assumed that was why people viewed me the way they did. However, what Nick said…realizations popped in my mind like the shitty firecrackers we set off out back during the Fourth of July.

“How come you figured that out when I haven’t?” I passed the whisky over to him. Our fingers brushed, and electricity rippled up my spine.

“Because I pay attention.”

The realizations continued to crash down.

Because for years, I hadn’t. But right now, sitting next to him in front of a frozen lake, the pitch sky above as our witness, I saw him.

How his gaze would sometimes linger on me. How he’d always shaken his head with a rueful grin before going along with my chaos. How he’d supported me throughout our childhood and more without announcing himself.

He froze with the bottle halfway down from his lips, which were glossy with the liquid. “Something on my face?”

“Maybe I’m just paying attention now.” My voice came out low, throaty in the honesty, so different from my normal deflections.

Nick’s cheeks flushed, and his breath hitched. He licked his lips, and I didn’t hesitate. I dove in for a kiss.

His mouth on mine was perfection, the bite of whisky, the heat that bloomed there. I drank in the taste, the feel of him—for once not kissing for a destination but because it was Nick. Because he was loyal and so damn kind and devastatingly hot. Because the superficial surface I’d been skating on for most of my life was no longer enough, and I craved more.

And this man, who’d shown up in the middle of nowhere to stumble across a frozen lake with me, was a better fit than anyone I’d tried for a relationship with before .

So many firecrackers that failed to ignite or ones that flashed fast and fizzled.

Yet Nick had been there for me all along. We’d been circling, circling, circling each other. He with guys who failed to see what a treasure they had, and I with girls who’d never scratched beneath the surface.

I wrapped my hand around his nape and drove my tongue into his mouth, savoring every second of this kiss. God, we were fire together. How the hell had I been so unaware all these years? The crisp scent of the snow, the sharp taste of the whisky, the woodsy cologne that was utterly him had me transfixed. I savored it all as I licked at his mouth, as I nipped at his lower lip. Fuck, this was everything I needed.

When I pulled back, we were both gasping for breath. The sounds sliced through the aching quiet, a peacefulness I’d never found anywhere else. Even when the town got too much for my liking, I’d never leave. Not this escape where the surroundings grew so powerful, so consuming they could even shut me up. The sky was liquid black tonight, highlighting the crystalline stars in all their glory.

“Any time you want to run out to the woods, I better be the first person you call,” Nick said with a lopsided grin. The night stained his blond hair with a bluish, purplish tint, and his eyes were dark and curious, seeking.

“There’s no one else I’d rather go with,” I said. After so many years of evasions, it shouldn’t be so easy to slip out these truths, but with him? It didn’t feel so hard.

Nick was fast starting to mean more to me than I could ever have comprehended, and the truth loomed in the background, growing brighter by the second.

I was falling hard.