12. Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

Nick

I woke up with a start.

Sun streamed through the blinds, and I shot upright. This wasn’t my bedroom.

After Jordan and I had hopped into the shower to scrub off and then frot until we came again, we’d both laid back on the bed to rest for a moment. But I’d fully been planning on leaving because…well, roommates. Hal and Chad were so damn gossipy it was ridiculous. If they found out, word would spread in two seconds.

Jordan mumbled something into his pillow and shifted, his soft snores. His brown hair was rumpled, golden highlights from the sun, and his lashes were so dark and long they made him look innocent. Yeah, right.

A shiver ran down my spine at the memory of last night, his filthy mouth, and the way he’d fucked me so hard I couldn’t feel my legs. Jordan was a force of nature, and I leaped into his wild winds every time. Not like I regretted a moment.

The sheets had slid halfway down, so the curve of his ass was exposed, and he curled in my direction, his arm outstretched. My heart thudded hard. This wasn’t what fuck buddies did. Staying over, watching the other person sleep, falling so hard you had no chance of surfacing.

His golden skin gleamed under the morning light, and a couple of scars on his back were on display. Ones I’d been there for. When he’d decided to sled off the roof of Gramps’s rancher and fell into a tree; when he’d fallen out of a tree during a game of hide and seek. Honestly, the guy needed to stay away from trees.

Fuck. He’d been an important person in my life for ages, and I’d risked our bond for the chance to feel him inside me, to experience a simple moment like this, a quiet morning next to him in bed. I should regret it, and I would when this came tumbling down, but right now, I clung on to the warmth bursting in my chest. At the soul-deep contentment I’d been chasing for far too long.

Jordan was excitement and thrills, but he was also comfort and home. That sort of combination was a rarity I’d searched all my days for.

But we only had a week left before the Christmas Bash. Before our community service ended. And we were almost through Jordan’s list of things he wanted to try. When we reached the end, did that mean this was finished?We’d been fumbling our way from one encounter to the next, but I was terrified to bring up anything about a future in case it all came crashing down.

“Do we have eggs?” Hal asked from the other room, sounding far too close.

Oh, shit. Hal and Chad had returned, and Jordan wasn’t out with them. They had no idea he was into guys, let alone sleeping with me. If they caught me in here…

Adrenaline shocked my system, and I leaped out of bed. My clothes were scattered on the floor, and I made quick work of yanking them on. They were rumpled from lying on the ground all night and smelled stale, but at least they weren’t covered in cum. I eyed the window overlooking his backyard.

Maybe I could sneak around the side.

Fucking hell. I speared fingers through my hair, as rumpled as my clothes as I made the decision. Another set of footsteps creaked from outside Jordan’s room, which meant both Chad and Hal were there. Time to get the fuck out.

Jordan didn’t stir, just slumped on his bed in slumber. I chewed on my lower lip, then leaned in and pressed a kiss to his forehead. I clapped a hand to my pockets, feeling for my keys, wallet, and phone. Right. His window wasn’t hard to navigate, and I managed to open it wide. The cold smacked me in the face. There went the warm comfort from this morning.

Shit, my jacket was in the kitchen. Maybe J could tell them I’d crashed here drunk or something. I looked well fucked, and as much as people thought Hal and Chad were dumbasses, they were smarter than people gave them credit for. I gritted my teeth and braced myself for the full blast of cold as I heaved myself onto the windowsill.

I jumped down and landed with a soft thump on the brittle ground.

Slowly I lowered the window and shut it behind me. No one seemed to have noticed my landing. The quiet of the morning rolled out around me. Their backyard seemed similar to a lot of the ones around here, fields for miles. If I ducked down and stayed low, I should be able to sneak to my car without any problems.

My heart thumped wildly in my chest, probably spurred by the Arctic drop of the temps right now without a coat and gloves. Why we’d streaked in the first place was a mystery because goddamn, it was cold .

I bypassed the side of the house, ducking low under the windows. Muffled voices traveled from inside, but the guys didn’t seem to be close. A few twigs cracked underfoot, and I slowed my steps, choosing them with more caution. My beat-up car waited for me at the end of the driveway. I hadn’t wanted to get parked in by Hal or Chad if I didn’t make it out in time, so I’d parked by the road.

I glanced at the windows overlooking the living room, but no one was walking through at the moment.

Now was the perfect chance to escape.

I booked it as fast as possible toward my car. The icy breezes numbed my cheeks despite the cheery sun overhead. Fuck, fuck, fuck. My hands were bone cold, and I didn’t look back as I soared across the driveway. My keys jangled as I fumbled with them to unlock my car, and then I all but dove into the driver’s seat and turned on the ignition. Heat blasted at me, but I didn’t wait to melt into it.

I hit the gas and drove away from Jordan’s house.

My heart thundered as I turned off his street and onto the highway, driving back toward my home. Would fifteen minutes be enough to get my head on straight? Probably not. Sleeping with Jordan wasn’t the issue. No, insanity was wistfully imagining a day when we could wake up in bed like that and I didn’t have to rush out. When we could drink our coffee together before going about our days.

The domestic fantasies had always been my kryptonite. Not the whole picket fence with a kid thing, because that wasn’t my vibe, but having someone by my side. And Jordan slotted into my life, into my space, far too easily. Maybe because he’d always been there, and I’d admired and cared for him all these years.

But maybe because we had the sort of connection I’d only hoped for in the past .

And once we’d unlocked the door on more, I didn’t want to go back.

At the end of the road, my house appeared, the rancher I’d spent my whole life in. Two familiar cars were parked in the driveway.

“Oh, fuck.”

I’d forgotten. I pushed open the car door, bracing myself for the cold and everything else about to come stomping my way. When I reached the front door, I didn’t even bother unlocking. The people who’d arrived already had keys anyway. Heat embraced me, which offered a temporary relief from two sets of eyes swinging in my direction.

Mom and Amanda were in the living room, a messload of bags strewn over the hardwood floor. I’d overlooked the fact that I’d offered to help with the wedding decorations and favors and shit.

“Nicholas Levine, where is your coat?” Mom’s voice rang out, an instant throwback to my teenage years. Same as me sneaking to the house, looking slutty after hooking up on the football field with one of the players.

“Forgot it,” I muttered, well aware they’d both pieced together what had happened.

“Oooh, where’d you forget it?” Amanda waggled her brows. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a bun, except, unlike mine, which was sex-mussed and bedraggled, hers was all neat and glossy.

“None of your business.” I rubbed my palms together to spark some warmth into them. I’d need to get my jacket and gloves from Jordan ASAP. “How many of these wedding favors do we need to make today?”

“We’re just going simple,” Amanda said.

“—she said, proceeding to roll out the most complicated plan known to humankind.” I plopped down on the floor beside them. They had most of the stuff spread out across the hardwood, and they picked through the mess there rather than using the couches right beside them.

“Look, it’s just candy,” Amanda said. “Little M&Ms.”

“Tell him the rest,” Mom said.

Amanda rolled her eyes. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one revisiting my teen years. “Fine, with origami butterflies attached to them.”

“What’s wrong with a nice plastic bag and some tulle?” I asked, eyeing the stacks of multicolored paper waiting for us. A significant amount. “That would involve a lot less paper cuts.”

“Stop being a baby. You’re not going to get paper cuts.”

“Let’s see if you say that after…how many of these?”

“One hundred and seventy-five is our current headcount.” She tapped the side of her chin. “Though we might get a few cancellations.”

I let out a low whistle. “How the hell do you even know that many people? Did you invite the entirety of Collier’s Creek?”

“Look, there were old friends from here and new friends from our new town, and then our family and Brian’s family, and he’s from a big family, and then some people who’d be upset if we left them off the list like Mrs. Hendricks and her new beau… I was borrowing romance novels from her from the age of sixteen. I couldn’t not invite her.”

I shook my head, even though warmth flooded through me…along with a little envy. My sister and I had lived here together for the past five years, and now she’d formed new connections, adding new family into the mix, and damn, I wanted that too. So badly.

Instead, I was deluding myself with the hottest guy in Collier’s Creek, who’d also never end up choosing me. Not when he’d been straight as an arrow his whole life .

“You’ll find someone too, sweetie.” Mom squeezed my arm. Her words were kind, same as her tone, but it felt like false sympathy because of the number of stumbles I’d had while trying.

“Yeah.” I picked up a delicate piece of paper. “Now how do we fold these into butterflies without mangling the paper?”

Amanda snorted. “Maybe by handling it with a bit more finesse.” She nabbed a pink sheet and, in deft movements, folded it into a pretty butterfly. Except I hadn’t followed along for any of the steps.

“Right, slower for those of us in the back,” I said, shaking my head.

“How about instead, you tell me why you were late showing up to your own house?” she asked sweetly, batting her lashes. Amanda could be such a little shit when she wanted to be—which was often.

I shot her a salty look. “You wish. You’re just being nosy and trying to dig for information.”

“How is that news?”

“Speaking of news,” Mom interjected, smoothing over our bickering like she always had. “Did you hear about Francesca’s engagement?”

My brows drew together. “Who the fuck is Francesca?”

“A stylist in town,” Amanda said. It took me a moment to realize by “in town,” she didn’t mean Collier’s Creek. Damn, that hit to the gut. Once upon a time, the gossip had all centered around here, with people I knew. And then Mom and Dad moved, and Amanda as well. I’d always been a family guy, closest to Amanda, so with most of them in a different town, why did I stay?

The only thing holding the loneliness at bay as of late had been these hookups with Jordan.

But as much as that excited me, once that crashed and burned…maybe it’d be time to move on…from Collier’s Creek too.