8

SIGGI WAS IN uncharted territory. On some level, he was working on auto-pilot; his charms with women well-known amongst his friends. It was second nature to him and he didn't know any other way to behave with women he met for the first time. The only exception to this was his friends' partners. Because he knew where the line was and he would never cross it.

But Iris made him feel different, and although he was well aware of the fact that on the surface he was going down the same familiar road as he always did, there was something else going on too.

The look on her face when she'd seen that lava was incredible. She was passionate about what she did, and Siggi found it quite intoxicating. It made him want to be with her, feed off this remarkable energy that she had for her work. He hadn't met a woman who had a similarly nomadic, you might say unsettled, lifestyle, and it made him think she might understand him. What made him tick. Maybe more than anyone else ever had.

He held the door of the jeep open for her, then closed it after she'd climbed in. Waiting for a second, he took a deep breath and walked around to the driver's side. He'd grabbed her hand without really thinking about what it might mean. What did it mean? He was probably about to find out.

He pulled his gloves and hat off and unzipped his coat, then opened the back door of the jeep and threw them on the back seat. Then he climbed inside and grabbed his backpack from the footwell behind Iris.

‘It was such a great idea to bring a picnic,' she said. ‘What a spot.'

From here, they couldn't quite see the glow of the lava. The best of the action was hidden behind the cone of the volcano. But perhaps Iris didn't care about the showier parts of a volcano. Perhaps the geology that was all around them was just as good.

‘Here.' He handed her one of the thermal mugs and the bag of pastries, letting her choose first.

‘Ooh, this one for me. Thank you.'

He watched her take a bite, her eyes still fixed on the view, bright and smiling. Neither of them addressing the fact that they'd shared… something, felt uncomfortable.

‘Hey, Iris.' He needed to see her face, to know whether she was fixed on the view to avoid looking at him, or just because she was captivated by it. She turned to look at him expectantly, and his heart leapt a little with relief. Then, a second later her face fell.

‘It's okay. I know it's easy to get carried away in the moment,' she said.

‘What do you mean?'

‘Well, you know, the holding hands. I get that it was just one of those things. I didn't read anything into it. You don't have to worry.'

Siggi didn't know how to respond. She was either giving him the brush-off, or she was getting in there first to say it was a mistake, assuming that's what he was going to say. And he wasn't sure it was a mistake. ‘Oh. I guess I thought maybe…'

‘I'm not really into starting something when I'm not going to be here for very long.'

Her eyes were firmly fixed ahead of her, and Siggi got the feeling that what she'd said was more of a well-practised response rather than how she actually felt. At least, he hoped it was.

‘I thought perhaps there was something there,' he began, never more aware of how far he was straying from his comfort zone. His safe place of never catching feelings for anyone. Never risking being tied down. ‘I don't normally hold hands with anyone, Iris.' That was true. It usually went straight to kissing and then quickly developed even further, by which time the holding hands phase was well and truly over.

‘You're a great guy, Siggi, but I'm only here for two weeks. However I might feel now, it can't come to anything, can it?'

‘I guess not.' There was no point pretending that he would want it to be anything more than a fling. Because she was right. What else could it be?

The conversation paused while they tucked into their pastries.

‘You're quite something, you know,' he said.

Iris looked at him questioningly.

‘I don't think I have ever met a woman who is so certain about what she wants. I can accept that you would like to be friends, but nothing more,' he said gently.

‘Thank you.'

It wasn't lost on Siggi that normally, he'd be desperate for the women he was seeing to be as pragmatic as Iris. To give him the out he usually wanted. Except, this time, he didn't think that was what he wanted. What he wanted was to get to know Iris. Discover the hidden depths that made her afraid to let herself go. Because for all the logic she had spoken in the past few minutes, he knew what he'd seen in her eyes when he'd grabbed her hand. She felt the same way he did. She just didn't want to admit it to him, or maybe even to herself. Perhaps it was as she'd said, that there was no point starting something that had no future, but Siggi thought there was probably more to it.

‘So no more holding hands?' he said, trying to lighten the mood.

‘I liked it,' Iris admitted. ‘Would you hold hands with a friend?'

Siggi didn't want to admit that he'd never been friends with a woman. ‘Maybe. I mean, not Rachel or Gudrun. But in theory.'

‘Hmm, I wonder if you're the type of guy who is never friends with women.'

Was she reading his mind?

‘That is like a knife to my heart,' Siggi said, dramatically clutching his chest. ‘I am not a womaniser, Iris.' But in his heart of hearts, he knew that's exactly what he was.

‘Friends works for me. I had a friend in Hawaii who I worked with and we went to the beach together a lot.'

‘So we can hang out?'

She shrugged. ‘I have no objections to that. We both know where we stand.'

‘In that case, would you like to go out for dinner tonight?'

‘Two nights out in a row?'

‘Is that against the rules?'

‘No, but I'm not sure my head can take another night like last night.'

He laughed. ‘We will not have the bad influence of my friends. We could share a bottle of wine instead of drinking four beers each.'

‘That sounds good to me.'

They were quiet on the drive back to Reykjavik, mainly because Iris fell asleep, her curls falling over her forehead as her head lolled to the side. Siggi kept glancing at her, taking in her long dark eyelashes against her pale cheeks. Her full lips, slightly apart.

Siggi exhaled deeply. What had he just agreed to? Being friends with this woman was going to be difficult. He wasn't sure where to go after the exchange of looks and the hand-holding. Were men and women ever just friends? Not in his experience, and he felt that by the time Iris left Iceland, he was likely to be an expert on why that was.

Siggi dropped Iris at her hotel, having gently awoken her as they reached the city limits, giving her time to gather herself.

‘Oh, we're here.' She pushed her hair back and blinked a few times.

‘Shall I pick you up in an hour?'

‘Actually, I feel wiped out now. I'm not sure I'd be very good company for dinner. Another time, maybe?'

‘Oh, sure,' he said, his heart sinking in the way it definitely wouldn't if one of his friends suggested a rain check.

‘Thank you so much for an amazing day.'

She leant over and kissed his cheek. He'd have read something entirely wrong into that gesture if they hadn't had the conversation earlier, but now he knew where he stood, so there was nothing to question. But it was hard to ignore how good it felt to have her kiss his cheek. Her hair smelled amazing.

‘I enjoyed it too,' he managed to say. ‘You are a very interesting friend to have.'

‘Thanks, Siggi,' she said, grinning from ear to ear. ‘I'm sorry about tonight. I'll see you soon?'

He nodded and smiled, inwardly desperate to pin her down as to exactly when that was going to be. She got out of the jeep, then grabbed her things from the back seat before heading into the hotel.

Siggi sat and watched until she was out of sight and even though he spent most evenings alone, he suddenly felt bereft and had no idea what he was going to do. What he didn't want to do was go home to his empty flat.

He parked the jeep back at the office and then headed for Olafur and Gudrun's house. It wasn't far away, so if they were out, it wasn't much of a detour to get home.

As he walked up the path, which still had mounds of snow piled at either side after the last storm, he could see the lights were on and he felt a deep sense of contentment at knowing what he was going to find inside; friends who wouldn't judge him; friends who would be on his side.

‘Hey,' he said as Gudrun opened the door.

‘Come in, come in,' she said, turning and going inside without waiting for him.

He closed the door, took his boots and coat off and went into the small lounge where Olafur was lying on the sofa, reading. He sat up as his friend came in.

‘Siggi, this is a pleasant surprise,' he said.

‘Beer?' Gudrun asked.

‘Yes, please,' they both answered at the same time.

‘What's going on?' Olafur asked. It was because he was concerned, not because he minded Siggi calling round.

‘Iris.'

‘Ah.'

‘Tell us everything!' Gudrun said, coming in from the kitchen with three open bottles of beer.

‘I took her to Fagradalsfjall.'

‘Siggi! That is very thoughtful. Did she enjoy it?'

‘Yes, it was interesting to see it from her point of view. She was very excited about a particular kind of lava.' He smiled as he remembered.

‘Oh my god!' said Gudrun, whose level of excitement was getting a little wearing. ‘You like her.'

‘Ah,' said Olafur again. ‘This is not the Siggi we know and love.'

‘I do like her, but she is not interested. She said there is no point starting anything when she will be leaving in a couple of weeks.'

‘And you are sad that she is not such an easy conquest?' Gudrun asked, her face the picture of innocence.

‘Well…' That's exactly what he'd thought three days ago when Iris had walked into the Iceland Adventures office. But now, it wasn't. ‘It is different this time. I want more than that.'

‘What?' Gudrun looked genuinely shocked, and exchanged a worried glance with Olafur. ‘But you never want anything serious.'

Siggi shrugged. ‘She is different. I want to know her. Everything about her. Before she decided we could only be friends, we held hands, and I thought I saw in her eyes the same feelings I have. And if that is how she feels, why would she not give herself a chance to see what happens?'

‘Maybe she is trying to save herself from being hurt,' Gudrun said.

‘It is like with Rachel and Jonas. He loved her but tried to end things when he thought she was leaving, to save both of them from being hurt,' Olafur said.

‘So what should I do?' Siggi swigged his beer and looked at his friends, hoping that they would tell him something that might help him get Iris to change her mind.

‘I don't know,' said Gudrun. ‘I think you know better than me what it takes to make a woman fall at your feet.' There was a glint in her eye. ‘But if she is immune to your charms, maybe you need to respect that.'

Olafur nodded, stifling a laugh at the same time. ‘Siggi, you are now experiencing what used to happen to me, Brun, and Jonas most of the time. You are luckier in love than we ever were, all of us together.'

‘None of it was ever love,' Siggi said.

‘Is it love with Iris?' Gudrun was a romantic who believed strongly in love at first sight.

‘I am not sure what love is, but I know Iris is the only person that has made me interested in finding out.'

‘Oh, Siggi,' Gudrun said, her eyes full of happily ever afters.

‘Siggi. You are in trouble,' said Olafur with a wry smile.

After another beer, Siggi said goodnight and headed home. As the chilly night air hit his face when he turned onto the street from the cobbled path that led to Olafur and Gudrun's house, he realised he felt better after talking to his friends. He smiled. He could be friends with Iris. It was better to be friends and have half a chance that she might like him enough to stay in touch with him after she left Iceland, than to throw away any chance of ever seeing her again, by insisting that they give it a go, or nothing at all.

But it was going to be difficult to navigate, since his default setting was seduction. This was a chance to show everyone that he wasn't that guy. He knew he'd put up barriers in the past, stopping short of allowing anyone close enough to get to know the real him. It was driven by the shame he carried at having abandoned his daughter and her mother. What kind of guy did that? He didn't want to be the guy that did that, and yet he was. And there was nothing he could do to change that. And the idea of people knowing he was capable of that kind of behaviour crippled him. However he felt about Iris, it was going to take a lot for him to feel able to share that with her, and yet that's what he would have to do if he was serious about her. Perhaps just being friends was the best thing after all.