27

SHE KNOCKED ON the door and heard Siggi call out in Icelandic. It was unlocked when she tried the handle, so she went inside assuming he might have said come in.

‘Hi,' she said, poking her head around the door. It opened straight into a spacious lounge which had a mezzanine level over half of it. It was decorated as if it were from the pages of an interior design magazine. In fact, Iris recognised lots of the cushions, throws and lamps as having come from Snug. The high-end look didn't mean it wasn't cosy and lived-in, though. It looked exactly like the home she would love to have one day.

‘Iris.' Siggi was lying on the sofa, a book open on his chest and his leg, now sporting one of those surgical boots propped up on the cushions across the back. He began pushing himself to sitting.

‘Don't get up,' she said, closing the door behind her and coming inside properly. ‘I'm so sorry I wasn't there this morning.' She took her coat off and hung it on a spare hook on the wall by the door. Unlacing her boots, she put them neatly by Siggi's and padded over to the chair.

‘You don't need to be sorry. The eruption is why you are here. Of course you were working.'

Iris tried to catch any bitterness in his tone, but there was none. He genuinely didn't mind.

‘How are you?'

‘This will slow me down for a while,' he said, pointing to his leg. ‘I am lucky Ned and Anna are letting me stay here, otherwise I would have to stay at Jonas's and that would be worse than this.'

Iris laughed. ‘I bought coffee and pastries.'

‘Now that is worth sitting up for.' He slowly pushed himself up, propping himself in the corner of the sofa.

‘Do you want a cushion under your leg?'

‘Thanks, if you can find one.'

There were about thirty-four cushions within arm's reach. She chose a couple of the bigger ones, gently lifting his boot and stacking them underneath.

‘You get first dibs on the pastries,' she said, handing him the bag.

‘I should get lost more often.'

She said nothing for a minute. The feeling of dread she'd had while he was missing hadn't been gone long enough for her to joke about it. ‘Too soon,' she said softly.

‘I'm sorry you were worried. I meant to text Jonas.'

‘What were you doing there?'

He sighed and stared into his coffee. ‘It is so stupid.'

‘Tell me.' She piled a couple of cushions on the floor next to him and sat down, taking his hand.

‘I have a daughter. She lives in Hraunvik with her mother.'

‘In the house we went to?'

He nodded. ‘She does not know me as anyone but a friend of her mother's from a long time ago. She does not know I am her father, and that is because for a long time I did not want her to know.'

Iris thought her heart might break for him when he looked at her with tears in his eyes. ‘And now you do?

He nodded. ‘I have wanted to for a while.'

‘And you thought this was the best time to introduce yourself?'

He choked out a laugh. ‘I know. Stupid.'

‘Siggi. Don't be so hard on yourself. It's natural to want to know your daughter.'

‘But you are right. I cannot turn up at their door and tell her who I am.'

‘No, but have you talked to her mother about this?'

‘Hekla and I, we do not talk. I left her at the worst time. It was something we should have done together.'

‘It's easy to say that now. You're not twenty-odd with your whole life disappearing before your eyes. It's easy to think a different decision would have been simple to make.'

Siggi looked at her with enormous relief in his eyes. ‘I couldn't tell you before. I didn't think anyone would understand.'

‘When I made you knock on their door in Hraunvik, we'd just met. I'd have thought it was so weird if you'd blurted out your life story to explain why you didn't want to do that.'

He smiled. ‘When you put it like that. Can I have another pastry?'

Iris tried to stifle a yawn as she passed the bag to him. Now that she'd stopped, she felt exhausted.

‘You look tired,' Siggi said, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. ‘Want to nap together?'

‘I don't think there's room for me on the sofa. I might go back to the hotel and come back later.'

‘Don't go.'

She didn't want to go, but now that she'd noticed she was tired, her bed was calling.

‘Are you sleeping on the sofa?' she asked, nodding at the mezzanine where the bed was. There was no chance of Siggi making it up there.

He shook his head. ‘There's another bedroom in there,' he said. ‘Come on, stay.'

She went through the door he'd gestured to, into a very smart kitchen. A door off to one side led to a small room which was entirely filled with a bed. It was a very inviting-looking bed, almost entirely covered with various throws, blankets, and more pillows.

‘Okay,' she said, frowning when she went back into the lounge, where Siggi was standing on one leg, grappling with his crutches. ‘How did you even get into the house?'

‘Jonas helped. You expect me to be an expert with these already?'

‘I'm sorry. Are you alright?'

‘Yes,' he said, sounding more confident than he looked.

‘Is there anything I can do?'

‘Nothing except get into bed.' The glint was back in his eye, just as it had been before.

What was she meant to do? Pretend the breakfast conversation had never happened? Did the fact that he could have died yesterday mean that there was some kind of free pass and everything just went back to how it had been before?

The thing was, she wanted it to be like it had been before and she was too tired to fight that. The bed was beckoning her.

She watched anxiously as he made his way to the doorway of the bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed and propped the crutches against the doorjamb. Iris pulled off her jeans and top until she was standing in the kitchen in her underwear. Maybe it gave the wrong message, but all she could think about was sleeping. It was getting harder by the minute to keep her eyes open.

Siggi reached for her and she took a step towards him. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her closer, then laid his head against her chest. ‘Iris…' he breathed into her.

Now would be the perfect time to launch into the conversation about where they were heading. What did he want? What did she want?

Instead, she kissed the top of his head, then clambered over him onto the bed. She pushed the pillows aside, pulled the covers down, and climbed in, moving over to the wall to make space for him. He lay down beside her, shifting around until he was comfortable, then he took her hand and almost immediately, she fell asleep.

When she woke up, it was dark, and Siggi wasn't there. She didn't know what time it was, but she felt rested, as if she'd slept for hours. Picking up the softest throw in the world from the bottom of the bed, she wrapped it around herself and went to look for him. He was exactly where he had been when she'd arrived; lying on the sofa reading.

‘Hey,' he said, grinning. ‘Better?'

‘Mmm. What time is it?'

‘Seven.'

‘We need some dinner. I'm starving.'

‘There is no food here,' Siggi said. ‘I was going to go to the shop.'

‘You are not going to the shop,' Iris said, imagining him trying to negotiate the cobbled path when he'd had enough trouble getting from here to the kitchen. ‘Not until you're better at the crutches. Let's get a takeaway. I don't mind picking it up.

‘Have you seen outside?' he said, nodding to the window.

Big fat flakes of snow were falling. ‘Oh my god!' Iris said with glee. ‘It's snowing!' Although it had snowed when they'd been camping, being inside and watching the snow fall from the warmth of this cosy little house was on another level. ‘Honestly, I'm happy to go.' It was a chance to see the city as she hadn't before; a winter wonderland. She imagined the streets dusted with snowflakes glistening in the glow of the fairy lights and full of people bundled up in their coats and boots.

‘I can't believe you are excited about going out in this weather,' Siggi said, laughing. ‘Can you pass my phone?'

Iris loved listening to him speak Icelandic. It was sexy. She carried on looking out of the window because otherwise she'd be staring at him. She was almost back to where she'd been two days ago. Before the ill-fated breakfast, before he'd gone missing, before she'd taken the job. But there was a lot for them to talk about before anything more than falling asleep together could happen.

‘I have ordered fish and chips for us. They will deliver in half an hour.'

‘Oh, okay.'

‘Hey, Iris.'

Tearing herself away from the window and the snow, which was getting deeper by the minute, she turned. He was sitting now, patting the seat next to him.

‘Keep your ankle up,' she said, putting a pillow on the coffee table and helping him lift his foot. Now that they had broken the ice by seeing each other again, Iris could sense that very little was going to be said about anything until they talked about what had happened between them. One of them had to start the conversation, otherwise they'd be dancing around it forever.

‘I took the job at the Met Office.' She sat next to him. It was easier to talk if she didn't have to look at him.

‘I am glad about that, Iris. And I am sorry that I was a… skíth?ll.'

‘ Hopefully that means an arse.'

‘Something like that,' he said.

Iris glanced sideways. His eyes crinkled at the corners as he gave a rueful smile.

‘I know it changes things between us now that I'm staying. Neither of us planned this to be anything more than two people having fun together while they happened to be in the same place for a while. And I heard what you said, and I know you feel bad about it, but that's not the same as not meaning it.' She paused. ‘Did you mean it? That me staying doesn't change anything?' It hurt to say it out loud.

‘Iris, I am so sorry. It is unforgivable that I said that to you. The moment you left, I knew I had made a mistake. Until I met you, I thought I wanted the rest of my life to be the opposite of what it would have been if I had settled down with Hekla. To come and go as I please without anyone else to think about. When I said those words to you, I had not even realised that I didn't feel like that anymore. It was different with you. I had not imagined being with someone who I would rather be with than be apart from. But that is you, Iris. I know now. Last night, before Jonas and Olafur found me, I thought that might be the end for me and all I could think about was you.'

Although that had gone through her own mind, she hadn't realised it could have been a reality until now.

She snuggled closer to him. ‘I'm so sorry, Siggi. I've missed you so much.' It all made sense. ‘I know how it can be to feel something for so long that you kind of assume that's how you will always feel.'

‘That is it exactly,' he admitted. ‘But the moment you left, I realised that wasn't how I wanted to feel. Because everything is different with you, Iris.' He reached for her hand and squeezed it. ‘Is it okay if I explain about Hekla?'

‘Of course it is.' If they were going to be together, she needed Siggi's version of the story to be the one she knew, not Olafur and Gudrun's.

‘When Hekla and I were together, we were so young. We thought we were in love, but it was never that. We were friends who enjoyed hanging out with each other. The future together was only the trip we planned to take after university, nothing more. When she got pregnant, I thought the only option was to leave. I didn't love her, but I know now that if I'd explained how I felt, we probably could have worked something out.'

‘So that you could have been a dad without having to be with Hekla.'

‘It's terrible.'

‘Siggi.' Iris twisted so that she was perched on the edge of the sofa, looking at him. ‘You can't keep beating yourself up about a decision from so long ago. My new colleague, Bjarkey, gave me some great advice when I was deciding whether to take the job. She said that you have to know what you want before you can factor anyone else into a decision.'

He smiled and raised his eyebrows. ‘Who were you thinking of factoring in?'

‘Don't change the subject.'

He sighed. ‘I am not used to talking about things like this.'

‘It's important. You have to deal with this. You've been carrying around this regret for years. Last night you could have died because you thought you needed to save her from the eruption. If you want a relationship with her, talk to her mother. If you explain how you feel, she might understand. It was a long time ago.'

He nodded. ‘You are right. Arna does not know I am her father. I would like her to know, even if she does not want anything to do with me.'

Iris could understand how after last night, that would be important to him.

‘Maybe yesterday is a sign that things can be different.'

‘Can things be different with us?' he asked, looking tortured as he waited for her answer.

‘I love you, Siggi. That's why it hurt so much when you said if I stayed, it wouldn't matter. I'd fallen in love with you and whether I decided to stay or leave, I was going to end up with a broken heart.'

‘I love you, Iris. I want you to stay. You deserve the job of your dreams and I am so glad that you didn't let me stop you from taking it,' he said, taking her hands in his and pulling her towards him. ‘Mind my ribs on this side.'

She hugged him gently, trying not to touch him anywhere apart from around his shoulders. ‘Is that okay?'

‘It is.'

She pulled back and put her palms on his cheeks, then kissed him. He was more stubbly than usual, and it made Iris's lips tingle.

‘This is the worst time to be out of action,' he groaned.

‘Have we agreed there is going to be any action yet?'

‘Haven't we?'

There was a knock at the door. Iris jumped up. ‘Fish and chips!'

‘ H? Siggi, hvernig hefureu tae?' The delivery guy said to Siggi.

‘Good, thanks,' Siggi said, waving from the sofa. ‘Thank you for the delivery. I owe you a favour,' he said in English.

‘Enjoy,' the guy said, grinning and waving goodbye as he ventured back into the snow.

‘Brrr,' said Iris, shivering at the icy blast that had come into the house. ‘I'll plate it up.'

They ate together on the sofa. Iris made mugs of tea for them after finding a carton of long-life milk in the cupboard.

‘What do you think, then?' Siggi asked, when they snuggled on the sofa together afterwards.

‘About?'

‘Us.'

‘I'd like to pick up just after the camping trip. Imagine we've had that amazing weekend, and delete the bit in between then and now.'

‘You're happy to forget?'

‘We both know what we want and I think that's each other.'

‘I cannot believe that I can go from despair to being so lucky in one day.'

‘Me neither.'

‘So we're together now, officially,' he said.

Iris could hear the smile in his voice. She was feeling the same way.

‘Iris and Siggi. Gudrun's going to love it.'

‘So what now? Do you want to stay?'

‘Desperately.'

‘I am not sure I can celebrate our new start in the way I would like to.'

‘There's no rush,' Iris said. All that mattered was that they were together. Everything else could wait.