15

WHEN THEY'D GOT back from the camping trip yesterday, they'd spent the night at the hotel together. After not much sleep, it was a wrench to leave Iris, especially after such an incredible weekend. All Siggi wanted was to lie with her in his arms for as long as she'd let him. But she had an appointment with her colleague at the IMO, so he left while she was getting ready and headed back to his place.

From the hotel, he walked along Hverfisgata and headed into Te you could never seem to catch any of them alone for a man-to-man talk. Although he at least understood it from their point of view a little more now.

‘Gudrun will probably have told you I am in love with Iris.'

Rachel gave him a look that told him that's exactly what she'd said.

‘She is wonderful.'

Rachel grinned. ‘Siggi? Really? That's fantastic.'

‘I am not sure. It feels fantastic now, but we have agreed not to continue with anything when she leaves Iceland.' It felt inconceivable that they might say goodbye to each other in as little as a few days, with no plans in place for seeing each other again. But they had decided. It was the right thing for both of them.

A knowing look passed between Jonas and Rachel, and Siggi knew what was coming.

‘That's what we thought,' Rachel said, looking at her husband with hearts in her eyes. ‘And we couldn't do it.'

‘You will find an answer,' Jonas said knowingly.

‘I don't think that will be possible. She travels from one place to the other, wherever the volcanic activity is, and I am travelling too a lot of the time. We might never be in the same place as each other again. That is why we are making the most of what we have now.'

‘But you really like her?'

He nodded. All he could think about was the next time he was going to see her. He needed to see her. It was like a primal urge. ‘She is working today at the IMO and has some report to write so we might not see each other for a couple of days.'

‘And it's two days too long,' said Rachel.

‘Yes,' he laughed.

‘Do you think if she was the one, there would be some way of being together? Like, Jonas and I, we made things work because we loved each other. That's what makes you willing to compromise.'

‘You compromised, my love,' Jonas said, pointing his screwdriver at Rachel, who shrugged and blew him a kiss.

‘My point is that Iris might not want to be travelling the world chasing volcanoes. She might want what she's found here,' she said.

‘Here. This spring was dislodged.' Siggi couldn't continue with this conversation. What if Rachel was right? What if Iris would be willing to stay? It seemed unlikely, based on less than a couple of weeks in Iceland. Whatever Jonas and Rachel said, it took longer for people to fall in love than that. Didn't it?

‘Hey, Siggi.' Jonas spoke in Icelandic and laid his hand on Siggi's arm. ‘Don't overthink it. It's been a long time since you felt like this about someone. Don't start thinking too far ahead about things that might not even be true. Iris might not want that. She might be like you and prefer globetrotting to what me and Rachel have.'

‘ Takk.' He nodded at Jonas, grateful that his friend understood. It was hard to think about a different kind of life and far too soon to be thinking about something like that with Iris. They'd known each other a little over a week. That might have been all the time it took for Jonas and Rachel to fall in love, but it wasn't often like that for anyone else.

‘Sorry, Siggi.' Rachel didn't speak Icelandic, but after three years in the country, she'd probably picked up enough to get the gist of what Jonas had said.

‘It's okay.' He grinned at her. ‘I am stuck in my ways. It is hard to imagine sharing my life with someone like you all do.'

‘I sometimes forget that what we have isn't what everyone wants, anyway. Despite what Gudrun might think.'

They all laughed. Gudrun was the biggest romantic and was desperate for tales of love amongst her friends.

‘It is nice to share a few days with someone like Iris. Both of us are happy with it being only that.' Anything else was too complicated.

‘You are out again tonight?' Jonas asked him.

‘Yes. The aurora forecast looks good, but I think we may hit some cloud cover if I head back to where we were yesterday. I've been avoiding Reykjanes but that will be the best area tonight.'

‘Don't you have an insider in the Met Office now? Iris would tell you if it was too dangerous, wouldn't she?'

‘That's true. She has mentioned there is more activity but I haven't heard that it's more than that. Maybe we should not worry yet.' He looked at Jonas for confirmation.

‘I agree. We need to be careful, but until we hear something official, we should continue to go to that area if we need to. It will be difficult to keep the Northern Lights tours going if we can't chase them to the best locations, as well as the weather being a problem for us.'

‘Have you started looking at your next trip, Siggi?' Rachel asked. They all knew his routine and were always interested in where he was heading to next.

‘Not yet.'

‘Oh.' Rachel sounded surprised and Siggi knew that she'd be reading too much into why he had made no plans. He wasn't sure what was holding him back either, and he could only assume it was Iris. Because he was having such a great time with her, the urgency he usually felt to escape had left him. Temporarily, he assumed.

‘Do you know Iris was in Hawaii at the same time I was?' he said, partly to divert Rachel from asking anything else about whether he was changing his usual plans because of Iris, and partly because he'd forgotten.

‘No way!' Rachel said.

‘Yes, and she was going to the same beach where I was surfing.'

‘You could have been there at the same time and not known.'

‘We might have been.'

‘Oh my god, Siggi. It's fate.'

‘Rachel,' Jonas said, smiling at his wife but with a warning tone in his voice.

‘Well, that's an enormous coincidence, if nothing else,' she said.

‘Yes,' Siggi agreed. ‘And you are right. It felt like fate when we realised.'

‘You believe in fate?' Jonas asked him.

‘I don't know,' Siggi said, shrugging. ‘But I do know that meeting Iris is something out of the ordinary and being in Hawaii at the same time… it seems unusual that our paths might cross twice in places that are so far away from each other.'

‘Man,' Jonas said under his breath.

‘Shush,' Rachel said. ‘It's not so long ago that you were getting just as smooshy over me.'

‘I am not being… smooshy,' said Siggi, frowning.

Jonas laughed. ‘You are! I have not seen you like this about anyone since we were at school.'

They looked at each other, the greater meaning behind the flippant comment, not lost on either of them.

‘You had a serious girlfriend at school?' Rachel asked.

Again, the men shot each other a look. It wasn't something they ever discussed.

‘It was a long time ago. It's not the same when you're young. You think you know what love is at that age, but you don't.'

‘Right, I'm going to the loo. Do you two want a coffee while I'm up?' Rachel asked.

They both accepted, then when Rachel was out of earshot, Jonas began speaking in Icelandic.

‘You haven't told Iris about Arna?'

‘No.'

‘Should you? I mean, she is working in Hraunvik.'

Siggi sighed. ‘She wanted me to knock on their door and ask if she could set her equipment up in their garden.'

‘And did you?'

‘Yes, because what could I do? Tell her that I can't knock on that door because the fourteen-year-old daughter that I never see lives there?'

‘And?'

‘There was no one home.'

‘That was a lucky escape.'

‘I know. But I know how it sounds too. I already knew then that I liked Iris. It wasn't a good way to start out.'

And he was ashamed. Ashamed that fourteen years ago he hadn't wanted to be a father and by the time that changed, his daughter's mother was intent on keeping him away because she'd created the perfect family with someone else to be Arna's father. And who could blame her? Siggi hadn't wanted the job. He'd realised the moment that he'd found out about the pregnancy that he wasn't capable of being the guy who stepped up and took responsibility. He'd hated himself for it, but he hadn't known what else to do other than leave.

‘You will have to tell her if things do get more serious. You can't keep a secret about something like that.'

‘I know. And I appreciate you not sharing this with Rachel.'

Jonas bumped his fist into Siggi's biceps. ‘It's not my business to tell your secrets. But it would not make the difference you think it would to tell everyone. I am not talking about Iris, I'm talking about Rachel, Anna, Gudrun, all of them.'

Siggi would love to believe that was true. But the fact was, he'd walked away from his child. And he would never forgive himself for it. He couldn't defend what he'd done, so he didn't expect anyone to think any better of what he did than he did himself. No. It was better to leave it in the past. It was the biggest regret of his life, but there was nothing to be done. It was too late.