Chapter 5

Cassie looks so frail to me. All my instincts tell me to hide her away and protect her with my life. To not let anyone near her ever again. But that would mean involving her in my life. Telling her my secrets, and I"m afraid she"ll see what a waste of a human being I am. My choices haven"t always been the best, and if we get closer, I"ll have to share some of my darkest secrets.

I don"t know if I can keep putting that barrier between us. I see it in her eyes. She wants more of me and I"m afraid I could never give her that, even if I wanted to. Do I want to? All of this is making my head spin. I normally don"t have so much time to ponder things. I do what"s needed for my job as head of security at Midnight Heat, and the rest of the time, I make sure Cassie Dalton is safe.

All of my careful planning went to shit anyway with Solis. Finding her bloodied and bruised that night was a nightmare. It almost killed me to see her so torn up and abused. If I hadn"t been worried that she might die right then, I would have beaten that scumbag to death. When her mother brought up the topic of "taking care of him," I was going to say yes. It was Cassie"s decision, though, and she said no.

I"m setting up some targets for Cassie to practice with. This place is isolated and she can take her time with it. I"ve got people searching for Solis, but he"s in hiding. He won"t find her here. She"s safe with me, and she seems to know it, which does something strange with my heart.

She opens the door of the house and peeks out. I wave at her, and she starts walking towards me.

The bruises all over her body haven"t taken away any of her natural beauty. She"s a little self-conscious though, and I don"t know how to help her regain her confidence. Perhaps being able to defend herself is exactly what she needs.

"Hey, thanks for breakfast."

"Are you ready for target practice?"

"As I"ll ever be."

"This is going to be your gun. Feel the weight of it in your palm." I say as I put the gun on her upturned hand.

She nods and moves her hand up and down.

"It"s lighter than I thought this would be."

"Okay, here"s the safety. Always keep it on unless you"re planning to shoot. Are you sure you want to try this with only one arm? You might need two to start."

More nodding. "I'll be fine."

"Okay, well, never point a gun at someone unless you"re planning to shoot them. A gun is a lot of responsibility. Take it seriously."

"I will."

"Okay, we"ll have to work around that bad arm, but I think I can show you a few things today to get you started. May I touch you?"

"Yes, I trust you."

I like hearing that. I reach for her hand and a sizzle of electricity snaps between us. I ignored it and hoped she didn"t feel it. The next thing I do is show her how to hold the gun and how to stand to get a better shot. I go through the basics and tell her to shoot at the largest part of the body, the chest. She"s a beginner, and I don"t really know if I want her to get "better" at this. This is what I do for a living. She should not get her hands dirty, but after what happened, I cannot deny her the knowledge to protect herself.

The entire practice session tests my willpower. Standing so close to her, smelling her sweet vanilla and peaches scent, and just having her attention on me is unnerving, but I secretly love every minute of it. I turn to her and see a bead of sweat on her forehead.

"We should take a break for lunch, Cassie."

"Yeah, thanks, that"ll be great."

We go to the house and I make us some turkey sandwiches. We sit at the table and eat silently. I know Cassie wants to ask for more personal information and I don"t know how much to tell her about my past. Perhaps if everything comes out, she will be wary of me and stop being so interested in me and my sad life.

"Do you like working at Midnight Heat?"

"The owners are good men, and I have enough autonomy that I don"t feel stifled. Plus, it"s close to…"

"Close to what?"

"Nothing."

"Jason."

"Close to you."

Her eyes go big, and I want to kick myself for letting those words spill out. I"m usually extremely tight-lipped, but being around Cassie is comfortable—as if I"m home. And the two of us being in this house. It feels like home.

She looks down at her food, thoughtful.

"I"m glad you"re close. It makes me feel safe." She hesitates. "I know you feel guilty because of the attack…"

"I wasn"t there to protect you."

"You need to stop blaming yourself for that. It happened. We have to learn to deal with it."

"Are you really dealing with it, Cassie?"

"For now, having something to do, like the shooting lessons, helps me keep my mind off the nightmares."

"You didn"t tell me you were having nightmares. How often?"

"Every time I close my eyes."

"What can I do?"

She hesitates and looks at me with wide eyes. "Sleep with me in my room tonight."

"I don"t know if that"s a good idea."

"Just think about it."

We go back outside to do a little more work with the gun and I also give her some tips on how to defend herself with only one hand and her feet. This time, she tires more easily, so I cut the practice short. We spend the rest of the afternoon watching television, and I find that Cassie loves her comedy but weirdly loves courtroom dramas as well.

When we"re both sleepy, I take her to her bedroom, but she doesn"t lie down immediately. She goes into the bathroom and changes into an old t-shirt and some leggings. I have to help her with her top and it makes her blush. If she blushes at that, I don"t know how she thinks we can sleep together on the same bed. Turns out she hasn"t forgotten about that.

"Are you going to sleep here with me tonight?"

I don"t know how to deny her this. She looks so tired. And if it helps avoid the nightmares so she can get some sleep…

"Just until you fall asleep. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, sure."

She pulls the covers down and gets into bed. I pull them back over her and make sure she"s tucked in properly. I lie next to her on the bed as still as I possibly can. When I look up, she"s hovering over me, looking at me with those beautiful sapphire eyes of hers. Then she does something I should have stopped but couldn't.

Her head comes down and she places her lips against mine. They are so soft and warm and I can"t control myself. I take her chaste kiss and ask for more with my own lips. I lick between her lips so that she opens her mouth for me and my blood starts to heat up at her uninhibited response. This kiss, it feels like I"m where I belong. Like everything that I had to endure has been made right by just kissing this angel. My angel.

The kiss goes on for a while, and my blood boils, but she makes a sudden move to reach for me, and the pain of her injuries makes her gasp.

"I"m sorry, did I hurt you?" I sit up.

"No. It wasn"t you." She looks dreamily at me and lies back down on the bed. "Thank you for everything, Jason. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, angel."

I lie back down beside her like a frozen statue until she falls asleep.