Chapter 3

Finn

" D aniel, remind me again why I thought going to this mixer was a good idea. I feel like I'm going to throw up." I dipped my fingers into a jar of hair gel and realized my hands were trembling. My reflection in the mirror was abnormally pale, which made no sense. For christ's sake, I was on a cruise ship in the Gulf of Mexico. I should at least have a base tan, considering all the time Daniel and I spent on deck.

"Because Knox, the sexiest bear on this ship, wants to teach you how to dance." Daniel called from the bedroom. "When am I going to meet someone?"

I glanced into the bedroom where Daniel perched on the side of the bed, tying his boots. "Aren't you going to get hot wearing all of those clothes?"

"I'm too skinny," Daniel replied. "Like, even the harness I bought looks wrong on me. My collar bones stand out, and compared to the other guys on the ship, I look emaciated."

The poor guy had on scruffy jeans, an oversized hoody, and combat boots. "I guarantee you'll be back in our cabin within an hour changing into a different outfit. If you don't, you'll pass out from the heat."

Daniel got to his feet, and a second later, he filled the bathroom doorway. "You know, I've always had a thing for hot, beefy guys. But now that I'm surrounded by them, I feel, I don't know, like a little kid or something." He ran his fingers through his dark hair and sighed. "Like, I don't really belong here, that I'm a fake."

Swear to God, gay guys were so fucking hard on themselves about their looks. "Daniel, you're a catch, and trust me, nobody thinks you're fake, or that you don't belong here."

"Your hair is a mess," Daniel murmured. He walked into the bathroom, grabbed me by the arms, and sat me on the toilet. Then he took my comb off the sink and began styling my hair. "Have you ever heard of gainers?"

"Of what?"

"Dude, there's this thing called the gainer community, right? It's like this subgroup within the LGBTQ+ community where people are all about embracing bigger body types. Like, they're all about gaining weight intentionally, you know? They celebrate it, even. It's kind of like the opposite of what you usually see in mainstream culture, where everyone's obsessed with being thin. But in the gainer community, it's like they're proud of their bodies, no matter what size they are."

The comb snagged in my hair, and I winced.

"Sorry, Finn."

"Daniel, I think everyone should feel comfortable in their own skins, no matter their body size." I reached up and grabbed his wrist, then took the comb out of his hand. "But I'm telling you, there's nothing wrong with the way you look. If you want to be bigger, try going to the gym and building muscle. Hell, I'll go with you. We can join the gym around the corner from the brewery and meet there in the mornings." I held up my arm and flexed my biceps. "Neither of us are as big as these guys, but that doesn't matter. Embrace who you are, because you're stuck with yourself forever." I stood up and glanced at my reflection in the mirror. My hair actually looked good for a change. "Good job, Daniel. Now, go change your clothes before we go to the mixer. In fact, I'll help you put your harness on."

"Are you sure I won't look—"

"Shut up and change your clothes, Daniel."

The smell of leather and sweat filled my nostrils as Daniel and I walked into the nightclub on the cruise ship. Rainbow flags decorated the room and a large St. Andrew's cross stood on the other side of the dance floor.

"What is that?" Daniel pointed toward it. "I know it has something to do with sex, but I've never seen one before.'

"If I'm not mistaken, it's a bondage cross," I whispered, then I smirked. "Possibly the easiest way for you to meet a guy is to strap yourself to that thing. At least guys will know what you want."

Daniel paled. "I'm not ready for that kind of stuff yet."

"Ah, you said the word ‘yet'." I gave Daniel a playful shove toward the cross. "Does that mean you're open to the possibility of a little kinky action?"

"Shut up, Finn."

My eyes scanned the sea of burly men dressed in all manner of leather, denim, and jockstraps. Some of them were super hot, but I only had eyes for one of them, and he was nowhere to be found.

"Relax, Finn," Daniel said, his hand resting on my shoulder. "Knox will be here."

"I hope so," I muttered, trying to keep my voice steady.

Daniel squeezed my shoulder reassuringly. "We're on the same cruise ship for an entire week. He won't stand you up."

I let out a sigh, trying to calm my nerves as we made our way towards the bar. The loud music and dimly lit atmosphere only added to my anxiety. Daniel pulled his phone out of his pocket and began taking pictures.

"Why are you taking pictures of the party?" I asked.

"It's for Instagram." Daniel stuffed his phone back in his jeans pocket, then I felt his hand on the small of my back, pushing me toward the bar. Daniel had one of the best Instagram pages filled with pictures from his travels around Mexico and the US. His handle was @NowhereBoy, and he had thousands of followers around the globe. Daniel stopped pushing me and whispered in my ear. "I told you he wouldn't stand you up."

I turned around to see Knox with a wide grin on his face. My heart skipped a beat as I took in his rugged features and piercing eyes. His black jeans were skin tight, and his white t-shirt stretched across his muscles. Daniel winked at me before slipping away into the crowd, leaving me alone with Knox.

"Hey there, Finn." I caught a whiff of his cologne, a masculine and woodsy scent that made me almost swoon. "I've been looking forward to your dance lessons."

My cheeks flushed with heat as I tried to play it cool. "Me too," I replied, with a hint of nervousness. "What did you call that dance again? The Pretzel?"

Knox let out a deep chuckle, the sound reverberating through my body. "Yeah, though I'm not sure there's enough room on the dance floor for us to do it."

As I looked around at the crowded dance floor, I noticed that someone had tied a man to the St. Andrew's Cross while a bearded figure dressed in leather circled him, tapping a riding crop against his palm. The bound man had an intense look on his face, almost like he was in some kind of religious trance.

"We don't have to do anything fancy," I said, leaning in close to Knox. A shiver ran down my spine as his hand rested on my back. "I'm pretty good at the gay two step."

Knox's warm breath tickled my ear and sent tingles down my spine. "Pardon me?" he asked, causing my pulse to quicken. "What's the gay two step?"

"It doesn't matter if you're gay or straight," I explained as I took a step back and began moving to the beat. "It's just a simple dance move that everyone knows how to do if they can't dance." Stepping from one foot to the next and then back again, I continued, "There isn't much room for anything else on this crowded dance floor."

"Let's do it," Knox said with a grin, taking my hand and leading me to an open spot.

We danced together, our bodies moving in sync with the pulsating music. The crowded room seemed to fade away as I focused on Knox's electric blue eyes and the warmth of his hand that rested on the small of my back, just above my ass. The chemistry between us was undeniable, and I found myself getting lost in the moment.

As the music shifted to a slower tempo, Knox pulled me closer, his strong arms encircling me. I felt the heat of his body against mine, and my cock firmed up. At first I was self-conscious of him realizing how much he turned me on, but when I felt his hand drop lower onto my ass, I stopped caring.

In that moment, everything else melted away—the noise of the club, the flashing lights, the weight of my insecurities. All that mattered was the connection between Knox and me.

As the song ended, Knox leaned in, his lips brushing against mine in a soft, tentative kiss. "I've been wanting to do that since I first saw you on deck."

"Me too," I breathed. Draping my arm around his neck, I allowed my fingers to comb through the back of his short, dark hair. Knox's eyes shut, and I felt him shiver in my embrace. My cock thumped in my jeans, and I pulled Knox closer to me.

"It's so noisy in here." Knox's lips touched my ear as he spoke into it. My knees felt like jello now, and if he wasn't holding me against him, I wondered if I'd fall down. "Let's go out on the deck, and I can properly teach you the pretzel."

"Yeah, um, sure." My voice shook, and I realized he could have just invited me to jump off the ship with him into shark-infested waters, and I'd gladly join him.

Knox stepped back, took my hand, and led me out of the nightclub. Once we were on deck, I saw we weren't alone. Various couples were leaning against the railing, some kissing, others just holding each other and watching the full moon.

"C'mon, let's find some place quiet." Knox never let go of my hand as we strolled across the deck. "There's probably no one at the bow."

"What's the bow?"

"It's the very front of the ship. Is this your first time on a boat?" Knox squeezed my hand and our strides slowed down.

"Yes, well, aside from canoes." I sighed, remembering the good old days when my folks were still alive. "Dad used to take me fishing on the Columbia River when I was a kid. I used to love it, the hours of peace and quiet while we caught salmon."

"You're from Oregon?" Knox asked, and I felt his thumb rubbing the palm of my hand.

"Yeah, Portland," I murmured. "And you? Where do you call home?"

Knox squeezed my hand, then let go of it. "See, I told you it would be empty on the bow. Now I can show off my mad dancing skills."

I laughed. "Mad skills, huh?"

"When I was growing up my parents sent me and my sister to cotillion." Knox pulled his phone out of his pocket and started fiddling with it. "Then I got to spend a semester in Vienna where I fell in love with electro-swing music. Dancing in the old days was so much better than what they call dancing now."

"Vienna." All I knew of the city was it was in Germany, or Austria. "You must have come from a fancy ass family. This cruise is my first time leaving the United States."

The cool breeze tousled our hair, and the gentle hum of the ocean surrounded us. The moon cast a soft glow over the empty deck, creating a surreal atmosphere.

Knox grinned, his eyes sparkling. "Alright, Finn, time to teach you the art of the pretzel."

I raised an eyebrow. "The pretzel?"

He chuckled. "Yep, it's a swing dance move. Trust me, you're gonna love it."

Knox turned on some music that sounded like a mix of electronica and old-fashioned swing music. I followed Knox's lead as he positioned himself in front of me, taking my hands in his. His touch was surprisingly gentle, his fingers warm against mine.

"Okay, first, we start with a basic step," he explained, demonstrating a simple side-to-side movement. "Like this. Just follow my lead."

I tried to mimic his steps, stumbling a bit at first, but Knox's patient guidance helped me find my rhythm.

"That's it, Finn! You're a natural," he encouraged, flashing me a grin.

"Now this is the pretzel."

It was a series of twists and turns, intricate yet fluid. I found myself swept up in the movement, losing track of time as we danced under the starlit sky.

What I loved the most was how natural it felt with another man leading me in a dance. This wasn't how I'd danced in clubs before. I was shocked to discover that I had the skill to perform these moves. Either that or being in Knox's arms gave me confidence I didn't have before.

The other thing I loved was how open and relaxed Knox's smile was compared to when we were around other people. Even though we'd only just met, I felt confident now. Like, this handsome, rugged looking bear actually found me attractive. He could have anyone he wanted on this ship, and he chose to spend his time with me.

"Watch this, Finn."

Knox released my hands with a flourish, his body springing into motion like a well-tuned instrument. His feet shuffled and tapped in perfect rhythm, his arms extending gracefully before he spun around, light on his feet as if floating on air. My eyes struggled to keep up with his movements in the dim moonlight, but I couldn't deny that his footwork was mesmerizing. The song ended and Knox leaned against the railing, his chest rising and falling from exhilaration.

"Come here," he beckoned with open arms, a slow smile spreading across his face. My flirtatious side kicked in at the sight.

"What's on your mind, Knox? Want to steal a kiss?"