Chapter 10

Alex

" E xit for Walnut Parkway coming up in 2 miles. Continue onto Highway 17 south for Manakin-Sabot." The posh British lady's voice came through the speakers. I sometimes imagined it was the Queen of England talking to me. My ex-wife had set the voice for GPS and I'd never bothered to change it. This meant I had two miles to gather up the courage to visit Finn at his brewery. If I stayed on I-95, I'd see him in about ten minutes. If I took the exit, I'd be home in half-an-hour.

"Shit." My sister told me to take a chance, and Summer almost always knew what was best for me. Maybe I should make a list of pros and cons?

Pro- this might be my first and only shot at happiness with Finn. Also, this will give us a chance to clear the air. Con-Finn might reject me, and I might make matters worse.

"Prepare to exit for Walnut Parkway. Next exit." The voice rang out. I felt cold sweat pooling on my lower back. I had to make up my mind now. Was I going to be brave, or a wuss?

"Fuck it. Finn can turn me down, or he can agree to a date," I muttered. "It's that simple."

The parking lot was half-full when I arrived, and the clock on the dashboard said it was after ten. This was very late for me, since I usually climbed into bed at eleven.

I took a deep breath and parked, turning off the engine. The neon sign above the entrance flickered in the night, casting an eerie glow over the building. As I walked towards the entrance, I heard muffled laughter and the clinking of glasses from inside.

Pushing open the heavy wooden door, I stepped into the warm embrace of the brewery. The scent of hops and malt enveloped me, bringing back memories of lazy summer afternoons drinking with Summer and our friends when we were at UVA together. I scanned the room, my heart pounding in my chest.

And then I saw him.

Finn was sitting at the bar, his back turned to me as he chatted with that guy who'd been on the cruise with him. His blond hair was tousled, and he wore a flannel shirt that hugged his broad shoulders. For a moment, I hesitated, unsure if I should approach him or slip back out the door.

But then he turned around, and our eyes met.

As I slowly made my way towards Finn, my palms were sweaty, and my heart was racing. I couldn't tell if he wanted to see me or if he was going to argue with me about the brewery again. But that wasn't why I was here. All I wanted was a chance with Finn.

I stopped in front of him, our eyes locked in a silent conversation. I could feel his gaze on me, studying me intently. He didn't look angry or upset, just curious and maybe a little surprised to see me here.

"Hey Finn," I finally spoke, breaking the silence between us.

"Alex," he replied, nodding his head slightly. The bartender eyed us, then placed a pint of beer in front of Finn. The guy Finn had gone on the cruise with scowled at the bartender.

"May I have a seat?" I asked, and felt my heart in my throat. "Please?"

Finn narrowed his eyes, and I noticed they were bloodshot. "No business."

"Pardon me?" I stepped back.

"Sorry, I mean, no business talk." He shrugged, and I noticed he'd slurred his words. Was he drunk? Maybe I should just go and come back in a day or two. But then I heard Summer's voice in my head.

Take a chance, Alex. The worse thing he can do is say no.

As I took a seat next to Finn, my nerves were still on edge. But I ordered a lager and tried to appear calm and collected. The bartender placed the drink in front of me, and I took a deep breath before turning towards Finn.

But before I could say anything, the guy Finn had been talking to earlier leaned over and spoke.

"Do you remember me from the cruise?" he asked, his voice friendly but with an underlying tone of challenge.

I gave him a small smile. "Yes, I do. I'm sorry, but what was your name again?"

"Daniel."

"Good to see you again." I reached around Finn and we shook hands. "I hope the rest of the cruise went well. I had to leave early because of a family emergency."

"It was all good," Daniel replied. "My birthday was that week, and when we arrived at Veracruz, my family met up with us. It was a lot of fun."

"Now all he does is hookup with guys on that stupid app." Finn leaned into me, and I noticed he was stretching his words out. "Dating apps are awful. Hell, there isn't much dating going on, just fucking. For something that is supposed to bring people together, it does the opposite. Guys keep scrolling, trying to find the next best thing, but everyone ends up alone. That's why errybody is lonely. Whatever happened to meeting a guy, talking to ‘em, and falling in love?"

"Have I come at a bad time?" I asked, and the bartender rolled his eyes and nodded. Finn was staring at something over my shoulder, and the bartender raised an imaginary glass and shrugged. "Maybe I should go," I said and got to my feet.

"No, no, no," Finn yawned, and I wondered if he was about to pass out. Lord knows he was drunk enough. "Don't go, please. I wanna talk to you." He jabbed an index finger in my chest. "Talking, like they did all those years ago before these dumbass apps."

A loud ping came from Daniel's phone, and a second later, he was on his feet.

"Oh my God, Jude." Daniel handed the bartender his phone. "It's that guy I've been dying to meet. He wants me to come over. What should I do?"

"Fuck him and forget ‘em," Finn slurred. "That's all they do on those shitty apps."

"Get out of here," the bartender gave Daniel his phone back. "Before he changes his mind."

"Finn, can you find a ride home?" Daniel jammed the phone in his pocket. "I gotta go, bye boss." He ran out before Finn could answer him.

Finn's head swayed as he watched Daniel leave, then shifted back to me. His bloodshot eyes were unfocused, but there was a hint of sincerity in them that tugged at my heart. I hesitated, unsure of what to do next. Finn seemed lost in his thoughts, and I debated whether to stay or leave him in his drunken stupor.

In the end, I couldn't bring myself to walk away. Despite Finn's inebriated state, there was a vulnerability about him I hadn't seen before. I reached out and placed a hand on his arm, drawing his attention back to me.

"Finn," I said gently, "I'm here because I wanted to see you. No business talk, I promise."

Finn blinked, his eyes struggling to focus. "Why? You here to... apologize or something?"

I laughed softly, shaking my head. "No, not exactly. I wanted to talk, to clear the air between us. And maybe... get to know you better."

He snorted, lifting his glass and taking a long, unsteady sip. "Clear the air? What air? It's already... clear." He hiccuped and then chuckled to himself.

I watched him, wondering how much he would remember of this conversation in the morning. "Finn, why don't we talk about something else? Anything you want."

Finn's eyes lit up with a mischievous glint. "Anything? Alright... what's your favorite color, Mr. Business Man?"

I smiled, playing along. "Blue. What's yours?"

"Green," he replied without hesitation. "Like the color of money. Isn't that why you're here?"

I winced at the jab, but forced a smile. "Maybe it started that way, but it's not why I'm here now. I'm here for you, Finn."

He stared at me for a moment, then leaned in closer, the scent of beer strong on his breath. "Prove it," he challenged. "Tell me something personal. Something real."

I hesitated, then decided to take the plunge. "Alright. When I was in college, I almost dropped out because I was struggling with depression. I was so deep in the closet I even thought of suicide. My sister was the one who pulled me through it. She's always been my rock."

Finn blinked, his expression softening. "Your sister? The one who lost her baby?"

I nodded, surprised he remembered. "Yeah, Summer. She's amazing. And she's the one who convinced me to come here tonight."

Finn's gaze softened even further. "She sounds like a wonderful sister." He sighed, looking down at his nearly empty glass. "I don't have anyone like that. Just me and this brewery."

"You have friends," I breathed. "I've seen how they care about you. Maybe we could be friends too?"

He looked up, a mixture of surprise and uncertainty in his eyes. "You? Why would I want you, I mean, as a friend, Alex?"

I took a deep breath, trying to keep my nerves in check. "Because I think there's something between us, Finn. Something worth exploring."

He laughed, a bitter sound. "Exploring? Like what, a business deal?"

"No," I said firmly. "Like two people who might have a chance at something real. Something more. Maybe we could continue what we started on the cruise ship."

Finn stared at me, his expression unreadable. For a moment, I thought he might push me away, but then he sighed and looked down at his hands. "I don't know, Alex. This is all so... complicated."

Softly, I said, "Life is complicated. But that doesn't mean it's not worth trying. And didn't you just say how much you missed the good old days where two men meet in person, talk about actual stuff, and then…" I was about to say fall in love but it was way too soon to say something like that. "… we can see where that takes us?"

Finn's eyes flickered with a mix of emotions, and he let out a rueful chuckle. "You're full of surprises, Alex. I wasn't expecting this after your business propost, propis, shit, I can't say the word. Business deal." He paused, as if contemplating his next words carefully. "But maybe... maybe it's exactly what I need. ‘Cause I really liked you before, you know, on the cruise."

I felt a surge of hope at his response, a glimmer of possibility in the dimly lit bar. "We don't have to figure everything out tonight," I reassured him. "We can take it slow, see where things go."

Finn nodded slowly, his guard visibly lowering as he met my gaze. "Yeah, slow sounds good." He gave me a small, tentative smile that tugged at my heartstrings. "I'm willing to give this a shot... if you are."

"Yes, Finn." I laid my hand on his for a moment, and his gaze never left mine. "Let's give it a try and see where it takes us." I removed my hand and drained the remnants of my beer. Then I reached into my pocket and pulled out my wallet.

"No, no, it's on me." Finn leaned back on his stool abruptly, and he almost fell off. "Shit, I'm sorry Alex. You're seeing me at my worst."

"It's no big deal." I stifled a laugh. Finn was a cute drunk, but there was no way he could stay here. "Hey, can I give you a lift home?"