Chapter 18

Beatrice woke before dawn. The room was still shadowed, the faintest light creeping through the heavy curtains. She pulled on her shawl and slipped out, careful not to wake the others.

She needed the cool air to clear her head. To think. Because the idea of marrying Dr. Oscar Collins and spending forever with that man was not quite as terrifying as she thought it should be. Maybe not right away—she did need to get to know the man better first. That was the logical thing to do in this type of situation. But the emotional side of herself was telling her to let him just…carry her away. Like Dr. Coleson had Elspeth.

Oscar looked at Beatrice the way Iagan Coleson looked at Elspeth. All the girls had agreed to that. But what did it mean ?

Beatrice did not make quick, impulsive decisions. She never had. Even the move to America had been a decision she and the girls had deliberated for weeks beforehand.

But…what did she truly want?

She was going to feed the mama cat and spend a minute outdoors. Then, she would join the others for breakfast. He would be there.

And she had still not decided what she wanted. Marrying a man after a week was so…irrational. She did not understand why it felt so right.

The barn wasn’t far, its familiar shape looming against the pale light of the sky. The mama cat was used to her now, and came running to greet her. The kittens were just now toddling around, too. Beatrice made a point of holding each of them every day so they would not be so afraid of human touch. It was a real part of her routine now, and one she loved.

She loved it here in America, but she could not live with the Colesons forever. She had had plans to work at Iagan’s hospital some day. To find a house of her own, or a room somewhere in someone’s house. That was what they had all done in Braeford, at least the last year. When Agnes and Elspeth and Mora had come to Beatrice and all but demanded she leave the little shack that she and her Mama had shared after the boys had died. They’d demanded Beatrice move into the spare room that was empty at Agnes’s house. Agnes’s daddy had died in the explosion. Agnes had lived there alone ever since, just taking in Mora and Elspeth and Isobel to help with the costs. They had stayed together—the five of them all alone.

Beatrice really had not thought of the future much past that at all. She had just been focused on doing what had to be done next, to worry too much about what needed to be done in the future.

Well, now Oscar Collins was trying to change her future. Was it any wonder she felt the world was a bit off than what it had been?

What if she told him she would not marry him? Would he just leave? Would it make it awkward around this place? Would she have to leave?

Would it hurt him if she said no?

Did she even want to say no? Or did she want to let him carry her off forever?

Could she see spending the rest of her life with that man? How was a girl ever to decide these things? Maybe it had been easier for Elspeth.

She had not had to decide. Iagan Coleson had carried her right onto the ship, claimed she was his new bride, and Elspeth had not had much choice after that. It was a done thing.

Maybe it was time Beatrice admitted choices had always scared her. It was easier just to do what had to be done.

The cat mewed softly as Beatrice knelt down.

She unwrapped the ham and held it out to her. “Hello, little mama. I do not ken that you understand, but what is a girl to do with a man like him sniffing about?”

The cat did not have an answer.

A noise behind her broke the peace. Beatrice turned. A part of her had expected it to be Oscar, demanding his answer. An answer she did not know that she was ready to give. Whatever she said would change her life, she did understand that much. She did not know if she was ready to marry that man, but she was not sure she was ready to watch him go, either.

But Dr. Duvall stood there. Staring at her, from eyes red from the liquor. There was dirt or food on his jacket. He looked filthy and…evil. Beatrice looked at the open door behind him.

She started toward that door.

He moved. Right into her path.

“You,” he said, his voice low and slurred. “You’ve ruined everything. You are not going anywhere now.”

Beatrice backed up, her heel hitting the edge of a stall. “I do not understand.”

“You wouldn’t. Of course little Beatrice wouldn’t. Always playing so innocent. But you’ve taken what’s mine. Collins—he thinks he’s better than me. Thinks he can have everything. Running his mouth to Barratt behind my back. Cost me my damned job. All because of you and that fake little innocent, poor helpless Beatrice act . ”

“I did not take anything from you. I did not cost you your job, Dr. Duvall. I did not. And I am not helpless.”

He laughed, a bitter, ugly sound. “Liar.”

Before she could react, he grabbed her arm. Yanked her almost clear off her feet.Beatrice kicked out, and he almost dropped her. She landed on her ankle, sore from the dancing, and almost fell to the floor.

“Let me go!”

He didn’t stop. His breath was hot against her skin. She felt the burn of it on her neck. She stumbled, her ankle giving another sharp twinge of pain.

Beatrice clawed at his arms, scratching with all her might.

Then she screamed. As loudly as she could. There would be servants about soon—to take care of the animals. Someone, someone would hear. Beatrice just kept screaming.

He would not let her go.

Duvall cursed. His hand clamped over her mouth. She bit down, hard. As hard as she could.

She ran, her breath ragged, her feet slipping against the cold ground as she stumbled toward the house. She did not look back. She did not dare.