Chapter 60

CHAPTER SIXTY

JOULES

28 bobas left until my baby sister dies … and I follow her to the grave 2 bobas later …

“Hey Joe.” I sit down cross-legged in front of the redbud tree. The leaves are all yellow at this point, bowing to autumn’s touch before any of the trees in the woods behind the house. “Brought you some sushi from that place you like.”

I just left Kaycee freshly fucked and softly snoring upstairs, so I should be alone for a little bit. Shouldn’t have to worry about her sneaking out either. We did all that responsible adult shit together back in LA, so we could screw each other bareback. Just got the results online. Today was our first time without a piece of latex between us, the first day I got to empty myself inside of her instead of into a condom.

A smirk taints my lips as I crack the lid on the plastic container and set the food beside Joe’s trunk. The wind blows, ruffling my hair. The sun is out, so even though it’s not particularly hot, my back feels warm under its rays. I take the heat in my skin as a response from Joe.

“This is not the sushi from the place I like. This is the place that you get into without waiting in line.”

“Fine, you’re right. It’s from your second favorite place.” I push the container a little closer. “I’d wait in line if it would bring you back, but I went to that restaurant twelve times in the month after we planted this tree, and you never once talked to me. This’ll do.” I stare at the food, watch as a single ant crawls up the side of the container. Sometimes, that bothers me, watching the bugs eat the food I brought for Joe. “Hey, man, you won’t mind if I eat some, will you?”

I take two rolls and bury them for Joe, and then I brush the dirt off on my pants and dig into the rest. Might have a little dirt still under my fingernails, but what difference does it make? I’ll be dirt in thirty days anyway.

I add some wasabi and ginger to a spicy tuna roll, chewing thoughtfully.

“Do your angel thing,” I tell Joe between bites. “Save Lakelynn from her own stupidity, okay? You know that I’d be useless without her, but she’ll be …” I can’t breathe. “She’ll be just …” I can’t breathe. “Just fine without me.”

The sound of the back gate creaking draws my attention, and I turn over my shoulder to see …

It’s Lake.

I shove up to my feet, spilling sushi everywhere and cursing. I don’t check the makeup on my wrist. I’m sure it’s still intact, but if I look then she’ll notice me looking.

“Did you miss me?” she calls out, striding across the grass and opening her arms like she’s going to hug me. The little shit dives for my wrist first-thing, and I just barely manage to get out of her reach. That’s when I notice that she has something in her hand.

“What the fuck is that?” I ask, holding my arm up in the air. “What are you tryin’ to do to me?”

“Give me that wrist, Joules Frost.” Lakelynn’s eyes are glittering, fervent. “I’m going to use this makeup remover wipe on you, and you’re going to take it.” She lunges at me, and I catch her around the waist with one arm, struggling against her as I keep my left arm up in the air.

“This is not the hug that I deserve!” I shout at her, but Joe and I trained her well. She’s wild and feisty, and she knows how to play dirty.

Tam appears behind me, snatching my wrist in his hand and yanking it down. The bastard pop star is stronger than he looks, and I grit my teeth as he rubs another wipe over my skin, clearing just enough of the foundation away that the mark’s true color is revealed.

A brilliant, bloody red. It shimmers with a bit of gold at the edge, and Lakelynn shouts in terrified triumph.

“I knew it, but I didn’t want to know it,” she cries, and I release her, hugging my arm to my chest and scowling as I take a step back from the pair of them. My sister has tears in her eyes, and my heart breaks in half—especially since I’m about to lie through my goddamn teeth.

“Don’t you dare tell Mom,” I grit out at her, taking a step closer. Tam inserts himself between us, and I want to punch him so damn bad. But I don’t. Because he’s in love with Lake, and he’s just trying to protect her. I respect that. I peer around him and point. “Don’t tell anyone in the family, do you understand me?”

“Are you insane? How much time do you have left?” Lake steps up on Tam’s left side and grabs onto his arm. The instantaneous reaction in his body gives me hope. His tense muscles relax a little, and he softens toward her, but when his gaze lands on me again? Fierce and protective. I smile. When I’m gone, Lake will have Tam. That’s comforting for me (though you’ll never hear me admit it out loud).

“Way more time than you,” I retort, which is a complete bunch of bullshit. I have two extra days over my sister. Two days. “It’s me and Kaycee, alright? And it’s not a big deal because I’m in love with her.”

“You’re a liar,” Lake hisses, narrowing her eyes. She knows me far too well for this. But I don’t care. She can know I’m lying, and still not know the truth. That’s fine by me.

“He’s not lying,” Kaycee says, striding across the grass in jean shorts, a too tight black wifebeater, and no shoes. She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I wet my lips as she gets close, her blond hair dyed black again. She ordered some fancy color to the house, and made me sit on the toilet next to her while she bent over the sink and dyed it.

That was so fucking nice. I wish I could grow old with her and watch her dye her hair a million times. Once will have to be enough.

“Hey Kaycee,” Lake says gingerly, a little weird around the girl whose boyfriend she stole. Doesn’t stop her from pushing for more information. “And … he’s not lying?”

Kaycee comes right up to me and takes my arm in a similar manner to Lake. The edge of my lip quirks as I stare Tam down.

“Thanks for losing your ex-girlfriend to me,” I tell him, and Kaycee elbows me.

“Joules Frost,” she warns, but Tam just smirks back at me, tucking his free hand into his jeans pocket.

“Still fucking your sister,” he replies, and Lake punches him in the bicep.

What a pair of couples we must make.

“I’m going to kill him after the curse is broken,” I tell Lake casually, and she rolls her eyes.

“Tell me how much time you have, Joules. For real.” Lake gives Kaycee a look. “And are you really his Match, or are you both bullshitting me?”

“Would I be here if he hadn’t convinced me that some magical curse actually exists? Hell no.” Kaycee grins and then gestures with her head in the direction of the house. Her long hair brushes my arm when the breeze picks up, and that touch becomes an echo of, oh, about two hours ago when she was sweeping her hair over my naked body. “Tam, I think you’re a lousy friend and you were a really shitty boyfriend to me, but you have got to check out their family archives. The journals are … well, you’ll see.”

“1822. Cassanda Frost,” Tam says, and I narrow my eyes when I realize he’s about to recite Lake’s favorite journal post about breaking the curse. “Although the Match provided to me by the curse was of substantially lower social standing than a man that might’ve been chosen by Father or my dear brother, I am pleased. He is a looker—”

Lake puts her hand over Tam’s lips and stares at him in shock.

“You were eavesdropping on me when I was talking to Lynn?”

Tam nods, and Lake sighs, dropping her hand.

I know she can hear Dad and the uncles coming around the side of the house toward the gate.

We’re running out of time, and I know that she’ll keep my secret for as long as it takes her to break her own curse. Then she’ll spill the beans whether I want her to or not.

Our gazes lock.

I can feel Joe’s spirit leaning up against the tree, ankles and arms crossed, frowning at us.

“Would you two stop? I’m not going to let either of you die, okay? We can figure this out together. Don’t we always?”

Only, Lake and I couldn’t help Joe. How can we expect to help each other? But Lake will try. I will try. It’s just the way we are. I reach out and ruffle her hair, bending low so that we can be face to face.

“If you want to help me, break your damn curse, so I can stop worrying about you and I can worry about me instead. That’s what you can do, Canoe.” I stand up suddenly, yanking my sweatshirt sleeve over my wrist in time for Uncle Rob to appear on my right. Dad’s on the left. Uncle Peter pauses next to Tam.

They both notice the mark on Lake’s wrist right off the bat. Nobody notices the bruises until after she’s hugged them all and is complaining about the heat.

So, Lake takes her sweater off and then we’re all staring at her neck.

“You son of a bitch,” I growl at Tam, and then Lake is throwing her arms around him to protect him from all four of us.

“The hell is this, son?” Uncle Rob asks, but my dad … the death in his eyes is way worse. Well, better they get to this bastard before I do. Uncle Peter can hold Tam down while the other two—

“They’re just hickeys. Leave him alone.” Lake chuckles, but Tam is white-faced and still. Probably because he knows we all know that he told my virgin sister to suck his cock while in a mood. I’m never forgiving him for that. “Besides, you know you can’t kill him until after we break the curse.”

“You’re sleeping with my daughter, and you haven’t broken the curse?” my dad growls, and Tam turns to look at him like he might stand up for himself.

Lake doesn’t give him the chance.

“It’s me,” she says, letting go of Tam and lifting up her wrist. Her eyes slide to mine, but I’m still prepped and ready to beat Tam up. Hickeys? Those are just hickeys? How the fuck? You know, I don’t want to know. My sister would never keep quiet about a man hurting her. I relax my fists. “I’m the one that isn’t in love with him. Not the other way around.”

“Oh dear,” Dad says, reaching up to ruffle his dark hair. He runs a hand over his beard. “Oh shit.”

“Oh dear, oh shit,” Lake repeats, and I sigh, glancing down to find Kaycee watching me.

Oh dear, oh shit. If my dad knew I was lying to him, he’d … he’s going to fall to his knees when I’m gone. I know that. My death is going to destroy my family, another blow as heavy as Joe’s loss. I’m not sure my mother’s moved past Aunt Clara’s death or Uncle Jack’s or GG Louise.

I rub my hand over my face.

“Can you help me with something real quick?” Kaycee asks, tugging me away from the group. Maria and Lynn are on their way outside, Ella and Luna trailing behind. And there’s my mom and Aunt Lisa and Aunt Daphne. Nobody will notice if I sneak away for a few.

Kaycee drags me inside and up the stairs to my bedroom, shutting the door behind us.

I collapse on my bed, rubbing at my face with both hands.

“Lake only has four weeks to live,” I whisper, wondering if I’m going to have to watch my little sister go before I do. Just like I failed Joe. I keep my face in my hands because I’m not okay.

I’m about to turn twenty-seven. I just fell in love for the first time. Lake’s got a man who genuinely cares about her (even if I still hate him a little). This is … we just lost Joe … My life up until that moment was pretty damn charmed. After that? This is what comes after that?

“Hey.” Kaycee takes my hands and gently tugs them away from my face. I stay strong in front of everyone else, my entire family. I tried to never let Lake or Joe know how afraid I was. I’m trying to do the same thing now. But I’m human, too. I’m scared.

I’m going to die—very soon. And there’s nothing I can do about it.

At least when it comes to Kaycee, I can be a little weak. I snatch her wrist and put her palm to my cheek instead, closing my eyes.

“Hey, what?” I ask, keeping them closed. My window is cracked, so I can hear birds, the leaf blower from two houses over, a car driving slowly past. I can feel sunlight on my skin, and I soak it in. I don’t know what happens when we die, but if there’s no sunshine-on-skin then I’m not okay.

I am not okay.

Tears roll down my cheeks, even with my eyes closed. I haven’t cried since the day Joe died. Not before that, not after. Not at all since I was maybe sixteen.

“Hey, I’m right here, and I’ve got you,” Kaycee whispers, gingerly kissing me on the forehead, on the cheek. I wrap her in my arms and pull her into me, so that she can straddle my lap and kiss me while I hold her. I crack my eyes open to see that she’s crying, too. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m sure I’ll be missing you more,” I tell her, and then I roll Kaycee down onto the bed, curl our hands together, and I kiss her again. She tastes like lip balm and salt, like somebody I barely know but wish I knew everything about.

Our mouths drift, nice and slow, and then the salt begins to fade away, and Kaycee tastes like sunshine. That’s better. Sun and strawberry. I like that.

She adjusts her leg, pushing her knee against my crotch so that I can rub on it. I do, rocking my hips while I break away to stare down at her. Maybe I lied about her hair. The black is best. It’s her natural color, too. That makes me smile.

We’re kissing again, and she arches her pelvis upward like she wants me.

That’s too bad because we’re going to take our time here.

“Do you think less of me for crying?” I ask her softly, because maybe I have some issues of my own to work out.

“I think more of you for being perfectly honestly with me.” Kaycee’s voice is low, inviting, and absolutely fucking wanton. I sit back on my calves, and Kaycee follows me up. She slides her palms up and under my shirt before taking it off for me. She even pauses with the fabric stretched over my mouth and kisses me through the cotton.

I like that, the temporary barrier between our hungry mouths.

The shirt hits the floor, and I put my hands on her waist, taking her neck as she groans and digs her fingernails into my bare arms. I’d kill Tam Eyre for what he did to my sister, but I want to do the same thing to Kaycee. I’m such a fuckin’ hypocrite.

I slide my hand onto the side of her neck, holding her in place so that I can ravage all of that soft, beautiful skin with my mouth.

“Joules,” Kaycee growls out, squeezing hard enough that her fingernails hurt. I love it. I bite her and she grapples onto me with so much force that I can feel it in my groin. “Take your pants off.”

“No. We’re going to do this at mypace.” I lick her throat, kiss over her pulse, and then I fist my fingers in her hair. I repeat myself. “At my pace.”

“Your pace?” she pants back at me, always defiant but happy to play games with me. It’s a brilliant combination. I’ve never been challenged like this before, and I love it. “Which would mean wham, bam, thank you, ma’am?”

“Aw, I’m not so bad as all that, am I?” I give her hair a yank, and she lets out an excited, little breath. I wet my lips. I hate being vulnerable, and I already fucking cried today, so … But there aren’t a lot of bobas left for me. Not a lot of kisses. Not a lot of sex. Not a lot of sunrises or sunsets.

I have thirty days left to live, and I’m going to make love like I have a million.

My breath catches, and Kaycee senses it. She’s good at that, catching me off-guard. All the little things that others overlook, KQ never does.

She puts her arms around my neck and drags me down to the bed.

Shit, I’m going to miss her as much as I miss Joe.

I shut my thoughts down and let my body guide my heart.