Chapter 52

CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO

TAM

47 bobas left until weboth die …

The day I left Lakelynn locked outside the rental house was the day I started to suspect that—despite the curse—I was the one who was falling first. Leaving her outside like that wasn’t because of Kaycee, like I told myself at the time. It wasn’t because I was still truly entertaining the idea that Lake was a crazed fan with a deep, skillful agenda.

It was because I was selfish. And afraid. I felt drawn toward her in a way that I’ve never been drawn to anyone before. I wanted her to be real so badly, and she is. She is real.

I scrub a hand down my face, yawning dramatically as I hit the button on the blender. Today’s green smoothie consists of spinach, green apple, cashews, a very small dash of maple syrup, some lemon juice, water, and ice. Yep. That’s it. Delicious.

My eyes shift over to the glass lid sitting on top of Lakelynn’s horrible cake. There’s a strange tightness in my chest, this flood of warmth. I jokingly told her I wanted a health food cake, and she made one for me? In the shape of a watermelon slice? I just … I can’t with this girl.

She plays ring toss in the swimming pool like she’s still a kid at heart. She covers her laptop in boba stickers. She greets me naked at the door on my fucking birthday.

I smile, sliding a hand over my mouth to cover the expression.

“Make any for me?” a voice says from right behind me, and I’m not even surprised. I’m used to being alone in my hotel rooms, in my house. That’s how it feels sometimes, like I’m either alone in a crowd or alone-alone. Lake eases that ache inside my chest, makes me feel like I’ve got someone on this earth who’s genuinely interested in the core of me. Not the dancing, the singing, not the outfits. Just me.

I turn around and lean my elbows back against the counter, like my heart isn’t racing. I probably look much cooler than I feel. That’s how it always is, but I’ve been training my entire life to do things like this. To flirt. To look pretty. To appear relaxed.

“If I thought you’d like it, I would,” I tell Lakelynn. She’s standing sleepy and adorable in front of me, yawning and looking around the room like she’s just realized that the sun is only on the cusp of waking up. “As it stands, you’ll break up with me if I force you to eat this. Want something with chocolate?”

“I said that I’d work out with you. Why didn’t you wake me up?” She yawns again, and I can’t help myself. I push up off the counter, and I put my arm around her, rest my chin near the top of her head. I like the way her fingers curl automatically in the front of my shirt.

“This is only one of two workouts I have to do today. Come with me on the next one. Right now, I want you to go back to sleep. Getting up early like this is hell.” I whisper all of this against her hair, closing my eyes as her soft form melts into mine. I’m having all sorts of urges that I’ve sung about, but never experienced before.

At twenty-seven, I feel like I’m going through a second puberty or something.

Or maybe my body and my heart were both asleep, and Lake has only just now woken them up?

I’m in love with her, and she’s not in love with me.

I open my eyes, lips curving into a smile that I know she can feel. I tilt my chin, give her a kiss on the head, and step back. It takes her a minute to untangle her fingers from my shirt, the fabric pulling.

I need to get her out of her own head. I need to wake her up next.

“What are you thinking about, so serious?” she asks, tilting her head slightly to study me. She’s incredibly perceptive, this girl who chased me down and thoroughly caught me. I’ve been snatched by Lakelynn Frost.

IF YOU DON’T LOVE ME, WE BOTH DIE … PLEASE HELP ME—the silly letter that she threw at my head. I don’t even care if the curse is real or not. What she told me about Joe is pure, undiluted truth. One of the rawest stories I’ve ever been told, the depth and strength of that enduring grief. It rides in her gaze even now, as she’s peering up at me like all is right with the world.

Sunshine in a cup, huh?

The woman I’ve fallen in love with is hopeful, beautiful, and destroyed, and she doesn’t even know it. I wish so badly that I could’ve met Joe. He must have truly been an incredible person to ruin someone as wonderful as Lake with his absence. My chest constricts again, and I fold my arms quickly to help hide my clenched fists.

Whether the curse is real or not, Joe died horribly. Lakelynn suffered because of it. Lakelynn is convinced that we’re both going to die in a few weeks.

“Tam?” Lake asks, and I realize I’ve been standing in silence for at least two minutes. Maybe longer. The beautiful thing about Lake is that she lets me have all of that time to think.

“I’m thinking how wonderful it is that my birthday cake is low-calorie and sugar-free, so that I can eat another huge slice after I go running.”

“I really want to accept your offer about getting back in bed while you go running alone. But.” Lake rolls her shoulders, like she’s trying to wake herself up. “I won’t stand here and be lied to about that cake.”

I’m smiling nice and crooked now, and I see that Lake’s eyes track right to my mouth. She’s ensorcelled me. She’s made me like her. I’ll pose however it is that she likes me best, just to see her smile back.

“Fine. It’s truly an awful cake, but you tried to give me what I asked for. It’s the thought that counts, right?”

“You must’ve gotten a million cakes baked in your honor yesterday,” she muses, and I shrug one shoulder.

“In my honor, maybe. But not for me. Not in the way you did it.”

The kitchen goes silent, and I turn to give us both a minute, snagging two glasses with straws.

I pour half of my smoothie into Lake’s cup, knowing she won’t like it anyway.

“Thanks.” She takes the glass from me, and we both take a sip.

She goes very, very still, and I grin.

“See? Your cake? My smoothie? Health food. I told you I was used to it.”

“Tam, this is disgusting.” Lake shoves the glass on the counter like it’s a bunted insult. She gives me a look. “I’m going running with you.”

“You insist, huh? Well, then.” I turn and grab a small stack of clothes off the counter, presenting them to Lake with a smirk. “Say it, and you can have them.”

She reaches out to inspect the items, and it takes her a good thirty or so seconds to register what I’m holding—a stack of sports bras. Her eyes lift to mine.

“Tam, I need a sports bra,” she whispers, and I wet my lips. Oh God. The tension between us. “How did you know my size?” she asks, and I give a soft, little laugh.

“I measured them—with my hands.”

Lake punches me in the shoulder just as the door opens and both Jacob and Daniel walk in.

Oh. Damn. I forgot they were coming with me. They’re both dressed in running clothes, ready to hit the trails on my property. Ten acres all to myself, no paparazzi, no fangirls. That never happens. I spend all my time running in glass cubes on treadmills, staring out at unfamiliar cities with my mind stuck in a faraway place.

“I checked the tags on your bras,” I whisper into Lake’s ear, and then I dump the stack of bras into her arms. I stand up and smile at the boys. “Do you guys want a smoothie?”

“I’d rather not. I dislike throwing up this early in the morning, Sir Eyre.”

“At least you’re addressing me with the appropriate amount of deference, Jake,” I tease him, winking just to add insult to injury. Jacob shudders. If there’s one person in this world who’s truly immune to my charms, it’s Jacob. I can never quite swindle my cousin. Poor Lake. Poor Joe. Poor … Joules. “I see we’re still talking like we’re from Bridgerton.”

Jake ignores me, but Daniel smiles at Lake. He smiles at her, and I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen him smile before.

“We’re running with him today, so don’t feel pressured to come if you don’t want to.” Daniel’s gray eyes flare with the barest hint of a tease as he looks my way. First time I’ve seen that, too.

Lake hesitates, and a strange cloud shifts across her gaze. It’s there and gone so quickly that I question my instincts, but … should I stay in with her instead of working out? Or maybe she’s just tired?

“Well, okay then. But I’m working out with you later.” She turns to head back in the direction of the bedroom. “Wake me up when you get back.” I nod and Lake smiles. “Good morning, goodnight,” she tells Jacob and Daniel, and then she’s heading around the corner and out of sight.

We all wait until we hear the distant sound of a door opening and closing.

I level my gaze on Jacob, ready for him to come at me.

“An I told you so would be welcome, at any point,” he says, gesturing in Lake’s direction. “Did I tell you this girl was going to cause you trouble?”

“Is it her fault that her friend turned on her, and she didn’t expect it because she’s a fucking awesome person? Lake is one of those rare humans who can get genuinely excited over someone else’s success with zero resentment. She doesn’t do shitty things, so she’s surprised when others do shitty things.” I sigh. Might as well get this over with because it’s going to come out sooner or later. “I’m in love with her.”

Jacob groans and turns away as I finish my smoothie and switch it out for Lake’s abandoned one. Heh. Was I right or what?

“You know that I hate to get involved, but thank God.” Daniel puts his hand on my shoulder, and I get this little thrill, like maybe he really is my friend. I’m glad he approves because I’m committed to Lake anyway. There’s nothing anyone could say to change my mind. Only Lake has the power to do that. “She’s a wonderful woman, and you’re an idiot if you miss this opportunity.”

Daniel gives me a pat, turns, and then heads outside like even that show of emotion was too much for him. I see him put his hands on his hips and gaze up at the sky, like maybe he wants to experience the same things that I’m feeling right now. It’s heady. Addictive. Falling in love really is like a drug. All I can think about is Lakelynn. Even my career seems like a dim and distant star.

“Your fans don’t like her, Tam. This isn’t reflecting well on you.”

“Then maybe they’re not my fans at all? Because if they were, they’d be so fucking happy for me. We’d celebrate this together.” I put my smoothie cup down on the counter and walk up to Jacob with a tight smile on my face. “Put together a press conference—I’ll be taking Lake with me.”

“Tam, wait a minute.” Jake rushes out the door behind me.

“Oh, so it’s Tam now?” I ask, and it’s only partially a joke. I give Jake a hard look. “I’m serious about this. I’ve explained that to you. Campaigning against Lake isn’t going to work. Please stop.”

Jake sighs and throws his hands up in defeat.

But it’s Daniel, unable to hold back another smile, that makes my decision shine bright in the early morning sun.

“Let’s run, shall we, boys?” I take off, and I make a race out of it.

You don’t become the world’s most beloved pop star without a competitive edge.

When the guys and I take a break to drink some water, and cool off in the shade, I check the security cameras for the house. Not to spy on Lake—I told her I wouldn’t do that—but just to make sure she’s in bed, asleep, and that all is good.

Instead, I see her crying, holding onto a pillow when she should be holding onto me.

“Where the fuck—” Jacob calls out, but I’m already running away too quickly to hear him.

I sprint down the hill, scattering dust and rocks, coating myself in dust and rocks. I don’t care. I stumble onto the porch and then inside, sprinting up the staircase, and forcing myself to slow down.

I don’t want to scare Lake.

I open the door gently and peek in.

“It’s me,” I say, and the sounds from the bed cut off abruptly. I step inside and close the door behind me, stripping my shirt and shoes as I go. I’m panting too, and very sweaty, but I’m not bothering with a shower until I’ve checked on her. “Hey, I gotta just get this out there and tell you that I glanced at the security cameras.” I sit on the edge of the bed, my eyes still adjusting to the dark. I can’t really see Lake right now, just the vague shape of her body under the covers.

“Uh-uh. You glanced?” she whispers, but her voice cracks and my heart breaks along with it.

Telling me about Joe last night, that was her putting herself out there for me. She was showing me her weakness to see how I’d react. I cannot fuck this up. I refuse to fuck this up. I kick my dusty shorts off, and then I climb under the covers with her. I even put them back up over my head because that’s how she had them.

I see that she has her phone. When I reach out to take it, I look at the screen.

There’s Lake with a guy on either side of her. She has her arms around their necks, wearing that same one-piece swimsuit she donned at the rental house. On her right, there’s Joules, same dark hair, same cocky smile. This picture can’t be all that old. On the other side, there’s a blond-haired, green-eyed guy that must be Joe.

I flick across the phone to find the next picture.

It’s taken in the same format: Joe on the left, Lake in the middle, Joules on the right.

Only, none of them are smiling. I mean, they’re trying to smile, standing in front of the dining table I recognize from Lake’s parents’ house. The surface is covered in food. A casserole dish that’s burnt on the bottom, a half-eaten cake, a pizza box.

Ah.

Shit.

These are the pictures from the day that Joe died.

“Can I keep looking?” I ask, and Lake nods, hair whispering across the pillow. I scroll to the next image.

It’s a video.

I look over at Lake to be sure she’s okay with me watching this, but she reaches out and taps play before I can even ask.

“Did you get your sunshine in a cup today?” Joe asks Lake, putting his arm around her and hugging her close. They both look so sad, like they’re saying goodbye. “I should’ve grabbed you a boba on the way home.”

“It won’t taste the same without you,” Lake breathes, but Joe doesn’t respond. He ruffles up her hair the way that Joules does. Shit. Knowing that Joe is about to die, this is really, really hard to watch. I think about the redbud tree in her parents’ backyard.

Maybe … after the last concert … Yeah, I need to take Lakelynn home. She won’t relax enough to fall in love with me if Joules isn’t around. If she can’t see Joe. She needs to go home.

I don’t say anything just yet. I don’t think she believed me when I told her that if the curse wasn’t broken, that it wasn’t on my end. I should just string together the three proper words and make it blatant.

I stop the video.

She told me last night that she’d never looked at these pictures.

“I love you,” I tell Lake, and she stops breathing. I turn my head, pushing the covers down so that the little bit of ambient light around the curtains can help illuminate her face. I put her phone aside and turn my whole body, putting a dusty hand on her cheek. “It’s you who isn’t in love with me, and I’m sorry. That’s my fault.”

“Stop it,” Lake says, but when she bats my hand away, I catch her wrist and place a kiss on her palm.

I smile. I squeeze her wrist. I lean in toward her, and she rolls onto her back so that I can lean over her. My lips brush hers, and she makes a rough, but very, very sad sound. She wants me to have sex with her so that she can forget, but we’re not doing that yet.

“The dream that I fought for my entire life, gave up my youth for, sacrificed a normal life for, put my privacy on a blood altar to be stolen away and mocked. All of that, I’d give it up for you, Lake. That’s how I know. I’d rather play ring toss in the pool with you than perform onstage.”

“Tam,” she warns me, but I’m not letting her get out of this because it’s true.

“I’m in love with you, and you’re not in love with me. We have forty-seven days to break this curse. I’m not going to sit around here wasting time on bullshitting you. I know you miss Joe, but you can’t give up. Not yet.”

“I’m not giving up …” Lake starts, but even she doesn’t sound convinced. “I’m afraid, Tam.”

I press my mouth to hers, let her grapple onto my hair, pull me close. But then I pull away when our bodies start shifting like we’re about to fuck. Not yet. We’re not there yet.

“We’re going to spend the next six-or-so weeks getting to know each other.” I pause, considering. “Maybe I should cancel everything through September?”

“No, no, no,” Lake says, putting her hands on my shoulders. She digs her fingers into my muscles, and I exhale as tension slips right out of me. “I don’t want that. You have, what, one concert left?”

“One concert, and then a livestream event on the literal day the curse ends. Also, a press conference that I somehow volunteered us both for. A handful of ad shoots. Studio time. A new dance to learn. A new album to conceptualize. A drama to start shooting.” I give a little laugh. “See what I mean?”

Lake thinks on that for a minute. I think she feels bad for interrupting my life, like she’s trying to fit into my world without asking me to fit into hers. That could be our first problem.

I can do this. I can unravel Lakelynn. I can chase. I can catch.

I suck on the side of her neck, and she kicks her heels into the sheets. I use that opportunity to put a knee between her legs, and she inadvertently rubs her wet sex against my thigh. Oh, shit. I can’t take much more of that.

“I’m cancelling it all,” I tell her. I’m not even asking. I’m just going to do it.

“Everything but the concerts. The first and … and the last. Either the curse will already be broken by then or else … it might be nice for you to say goodbye.” Lake moves her hips again, on accident or instinct, I think. She rubs on my thigh, and we both have a little trouble with that the second time around. “Yes, cancel all the rest.”

“Good girl,” I whisper against her ear, and I don’t mean it in any condescending way. Lake is good. She’s so fucking good. All I want to do is reward her for that. “Good girl.”

The second time I whisper it, she relaxes substantially, enough for me to slip inside of her, curl our fingers together. I fuck her into the mattress until the tears on her cheeks are from pleasure and not from pain.