Chapter 39

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

LAKE

55 bobas left until we both die …

I knew that Tam was making space for me in his life, but I didn’t realize how much effort he was putting in. When he says that he runs on zero sleep, I believe it.

We start with the dermatologist (thanks a lot, Joules), and then we run over to the recording studio to meet with a new producer. Tam spends a while talking to him, and then hops on the mic to record these ‘practice runs’ that have my jaw hanging loose. I can’t believe I ever insulted his music. His voice is like that of an angel, one that’s actively making love to his soulmate.

No, no …. fucking his soulmate.

It’s not … it’s not human.

I’m instructed to unwrap a granola bar and put it directly into his mouth which is … weird. His eyes slide to mine as he bites down, and I shiver. His fingers find my wrist, gliding up my hand to take the bar from me, and then he’s being shuttled down the hallway by a half-dozen people in suits.

We go to a meeting with his mother, and I stand in the corner feeling small and far away. Tam wraps her up in a hug that makes me ache for the same. I want him to hold me like that, like I’m precious and loved. Whoa. When did these thoughts start showing up?!

The meeting quickly returns to the utmost of professionalism—despite the subject matter. We’re here to talk about the leaked video, the one that shows Tam’s cock. The cock that I had in my mouth. I’m sweating and tugging at the neckline of my pale pink cable knit sweater. I borrowed it from Lynn because she told me that Tam had casually mentioned to her that he thinks girls wearing soft sweaters are cute.

“We have the video mostly under control, but when it comes to legal action, how far do we want to take this?” Tam’s mom is absolutely beautiful, her expression fierce, her eyes sharp. She keeps looking at me, and I wonder how much she knows about me and Tam.

“Take him a glass of water, set it next to his elbow, but don’t interrupt the meeting,” Maggie whispers into my ear. She’s so nice. I’m excited to work with her. She has a strawberry-blond Afro with a kiss of pink in it, earrings that hang nearly to her shoulders, and bright pink lipstick. She gently pushes me in the direction of the water station.

“If we go at that influencer girl too hard, will people think I’m bullying her?” Tam asks, and then he sighs, rubbing at his forehead. I pour the water, trying not to get too invested in this conversation, and failing miserably. I walk over to Tam, and he stiffens up because he knows that it’s me. His gaze swings to mine as I place the glass gently next to his elbow. “What do you think?” he asks, and the entire room turns to stare at me. Dozens of executives and lawyers in suits, and Tam is asking me?

“Um, uh. She …” Tell the truth, Lake. If you always tell the truth, you don’t have to wonder about things. You don’t have to care as much about whether someone likes you because if they don’t, then they’re not the right friend or mentor or lover for you. If they don’t like who you are, move on. We all have our people out there. Finding them is the hard part. I’m starting to think that the curse has got at least something right. Tam feels like my person. “She posted an intimate video online that she filmed without permission. I don’t care who she is or who you are, that’s not right. She should be punished to the fullest extent of the law.”

Tam’s smile hitches up in an uneven quirk on the right side.

“Punish her then,” he tells his mom. “Take it all the way and nail her to the wall.” Tam stands up, encircling my wrist with his fingers and leading me up to the front of the room. He releases me right away, but my skin tingles where he touched my racing pulse.

“Okay. Okay, I’ll try harder.” Ugh. I don’t let myself think about the other things he said, not with his mom standing right in front of us.

“This is Lakelynn Frost, the one that I was telling you about,” Tam says, and my heart beats so crazy-fast that my hand is shaking when I offer it up to her. Elena Eyre takes it in a firm grip, and gives me a pleasant shake. I’m usually more of the hugging type, but this doesn’t feel like the right time or place.

“Nice to meet you, Lake,” she says, and then she gives me a soft, almost sad sort of smile. Her gaze shifts to her son. “Behave yourself, Tam.”

“Never,” he replies easily, smiling at us both.

“It’s nice to meet you, too,” I choke out, stumbling over the words. Elena’s smile softens a little. I wonder how much she knows about me and Tam? Certainly not as much as my family knows. My mom is having a hard time getting over a few things …

“How’s Christian?” Tam whispers, and his mom blushes. “That good, huh?”

“He’s invited me to spend the holidays with his family, but I don’t … we’re not in that space just yet.”

Tam frowns, attention shifting over to me. I can see that he has something to say about all this, just not here.

“You’re already late for the photoshoot,” Elena says, checking her phone with the same little crease between her eyebrows that Tam gets. Cute. “You should hurry.”

“Yeah, yeah, but you’re my mom,” Tam tells her, taking her into his arms for another hug. “You mean more to me than my schedule.”

“Yes, but we have sponsors to please, and employees to consider. If you’re late, that puts dozens of other people behind schedule. Every move you make shifts mountains, Tam. Do your best to remember that.”

He releases her, and she offers me another polite goodbye before leaving the room. The suits and the execs file out behind her, like she’s the big, bad boss. Pretty sure that she is.

“Your mom is scary,” I whisper, and Tam laughs, looking down at me with his hands tucked into his pockets.

“Oh, most definitely,” he replies, and then we’re both being shuffled and shoved down the hallway. Outside. Into the SUV. To a park with a view of the Golden Gate Bridge.

There are people everywhere, screaming and jumping, and oh my God, Tam’s security team is much, much bigger than just Daniel. I saw them outside the rental house, but that was maybe a dozen guys. There must be forty or more men here, and that doesn’t include the police officers doing crowd control.

“We need to get in and out of here as efficiently as possible,” Jacob is saying, and I look over to see that Tam has his eyes closed. He looks so tired. I can’t believe he does this basically every day of the year. “Hair and makeup is in the tent, but the shoot is outside. The city wants us gone in a half hour.”

“Half hour,” Tam repeats, opening his eyes.

“Ready for your first day on the job?” Daniel asks Joules, and my brother grunts. He might not like Tam, but he’ll put his all into this. My brother is a hard worker. Honest. Reliable. He might be a jerk, but he has plenty of good qualities, too.

“Let’s do this.” Joules moves into the center of the SUV, and then opens the door, dressed in all black with Security scrawled onto the back of his jacket. He follows Daniel’s instructions and helps clear a narrow tunnel for Tam to escape into. I scramble after him with Jacob taking up the rear.

People press in on both sides, screaming and waving signs around. Some of them are openly weeping.

How I ever managed to get where I am is truly a miracle, a positive splinter product of the curse. Without the fated meet-cutes, I’d have been done before I even started.

We escape the crush of humanity by fleeing into a tent filled with employees. Tam is greeted by the director of the shoot as he sits down in a chair, and three different people come at his face and hair. He apologizes a dozen times for being injured and is assured it’s no problem whatsoever.

I stand in the corner with my phone and open up the assistants’ group chat.

Tam needs a new pair of sneakers for the gym. Have them delivered to the hotel. The size and brand recommendations are listed underneath. Also, he always forgets to ask for socks. Get him several different pairs to choose from. Merino wool blend only.

I’m puzzling out how to even go about making this happen when one of the other assistants chimes in.

I’m on it. Sneakers and socks are taken care of.

I look up as Tam moves from the chair to a folding screen, changing his clothes like a magician. He pops behind it, and then reappears in the span of thirty seconds.

He’s wearing a long-sleeved sweater that’s black-and-white striped on the left side, but heather gray on the right with a black shoulder. Tight jeans. High-top sneakers in bright pink. He’s chewing some caffeinated gum and standing there with his arms out to either side so that the stylist can pick at his clothes. She slings a loose belt around his hips, makes it a little crooked.

“Ready,” she calls out as Tam’s eyes search the room and find mine. We stare at each other for about … two seconds, and then he’s being ushered outside, and I’m scrambling to follow. Joules is right there by the door, arms crossed over his chest, glare piercing across the park.

Fans surround the roped-off area, surging forward and screaming. When they see Tam, they go insane. They heave and ripple, and it takes every member of the security team and all of the uniformed police to keep them back.

Every personal moment that Tam and I have shared seems so surreal now. How did we ever visit a boba tea shop together? How did we go to the Pittock Mansion and the Japanese gardens?

Luck. Happenstance.

The only way Tam can go out in public like a normal person is if he does it in secret.

With the Golden Gate bridge dripping with fog over the bay behind him, Tam poses on the edge of a rock, one foot up on the stone, arms crossed over his thigh as he leans down. He moves again quickly, striking up one suggestive pose after another. Smiling. Neutral. Frowning. Winking. Smiling again.

“Go dab the sweat off his forehead and give him this water bottle. Always make sure the top is unscrewed before you approach him.” Maggie shoves the items into my hands, and then snags me by the wrist. “Dab. Do not wipe. Dab.”

I nod and rush up the grassy slope toward Tam.

His gaze shifts to me as I pause next to him and offer out the bottle. Shit! The cap. When he reaches to take it, I jerk it back and frantically try to get the cap off. It’s stuck.

“Lake.”

“Sorry, so sorry.” I drop the water bottle in the grass, and since the ground is wet, it gets a little dirty. I lunge for it, and then wipe the dirt off on my pants. Tam gently takes my wrist, and then slides the water bottle out of my tight grip.

The press of the crowd is making me nervous. It’s one thing when Tam is performing, and he’s safely out of reach on the stage. But now? It’s just velvet ropes and a few dozen security guards keeping him from being mobbed. He unscrews the bottle himself and tilts his head back to take a drink, eyes closing.

I watch his neck, the way his muscles contract when he swallows. I look at his lips on the bottle and think about him scraping his teeth over my denim shorts. He takes a break from drinking, dropping his head back down, and I reach up with the damp cloth to dab at his forehead.

Then I’m thinking about his handkerchiefs and how he used one to wipe blood from my skin. My hand slips, and I rub the cloth over his cheek, uncovering a bit of the bruise beneath his eye.

“Oh, shit. I wiped! I didn’t dab.” I groan as I pull my hand back.

“Lakelynn, relax,” Tam tells me gently, and his voice is the pinprick I need to pop the anxiety bubble that’s surrounding me.

“We are so sorry,” Jacob says, pushing me aside so that one of the hair and makeup people can get to Tam. I stumble back a few steps as Jacob collects the water bottle and shoves it into my arms. Tam gives his manager a withering stare before swinging an apologetic look my way. I smile back to let him know I’m alright, and then I do my best to stay out of the way.

Tam changes his outfit three more times, and then uses his own phone to film a bunch of cute selfies with his tongue sticking out, or with him making a heart with his hand on his cheek. He films a candid moment talking about the photoshoot.

Somebody get that on TT now. He wants us to write something in the caption about the weather. Get the stills on Insta, and don’t forget to cross post to X and Facebook.

I start to tap out a message that I’ll take care of those things, but then I realize that I don’t have access to his social media just yet. I signed a much worse NDA last night, and an employment contract that my mother looked over for me. But this all feels like it’s above my pay grade.

A queasy feeling takes over my stomach.

“Would you let me fuck you, Lakelynn?”

“Yes.”

That moment and this? Worlds apart. How do I reconcile them? How do I get used to all of this? Because if I want to be with Tam, I’ll have to learn.

Right now, I just want to run away.

“Quick, quick, quick,” Jacob is moaning, gesturing for us to pile back into the SUV. “We’re late.”

I realize as the day goes on that we’re always late.

We started at the airport at seven in the morning, and now it’s two o’clock at night.

Tam is yawning in the hotel lobby, a zombie on his feet.

And this was just one day.

The concert isn’t until the day after tomorrow.

“This is your room assignment,” Maggie tells me, pressing a keycard into my hand. The room number is written on the paper envelope that it’s tucked into. “Good work today. Get some sleep.” She smiles and pats me on the shoulder before taking off through the lobby in the direction of the lounge. It’s closed, but maybe Tam’s crew has a deal with the hotel staff or something?

We’re at the Ritz, by the way.

The Ritz.

In San Francisco.

My head is spinning.

“Let me see that,” Tam demands, yawning again as he takes the keycard from my hand. He squints at the room number for so long that I assume there’s something wrong with it. Tam blinks through his daze and looks up, giving Jacob a nasty look. “She’s on the floor below me.”

“The penthouse is its own floor, Mr. Eyre.” I almost feel sorry for Jacob now, too. He’s also swaying like he’s close to passing out. “There’s nothing I can do about that. I know how very important you are, but I can’t make the hotel add a new room onto your floor for your favorite assistant.”

“It’s okay. I’m fine. I’m happy with this.” I try to take the card from Tam’s fist, but he won’t let me have it. His eyes find mine, and I wish that he would ask me to stay in his room with him. Or not. I don’t know. “Tam, give me that. Tam. Sir Tom.” He releases the card to me, and I wonder if he’s thinking about how I told him to try harder.

I want to be romanced. I want to be seduced. I want to see him put effort into this.

I’m going to do the same, to return his level of effort with my own.

“You and I will clear the room, and then we’ll sleep in shifts,” Daniel is saying to Joules, and I wonder if Joules got a huge promotion on his first day at work because he’s the only other security officer in the lobby with us.

It’s pretty quiet. Doesn’t seem to be anybody else around. I’m surprised that Tam’s fans don’t know he’s staying here.

“Let’s go upstairs then,” Tam says with a sigh, eyes drifting closed. He rubs at his face and yawns again, mussing up his hair when he drags his fingers through it.

We hit the elevator together, pausing at my floor first.

Joules escorts me into the hallway, and then I turn to watch Tam as the elevator doors close. He’s looking right at me. We stand there with our gazes locked until the doors close entirely between us.

I groan and nearly sag to the floor.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” I tell Joules, but he takes me by the arm and leads me toward my room anyway.

“You can do this, and you will do this. Once the curse breaks though, I say you break up with him and move back home.”

I laugh at that, but I also truly don’t know if I can live like this. Tam’s life is insane. Everyone thinks they want popularity and wealth and attention. But seeing it firsthand like this? I don’t like it. Not at all. I feel guilty for telling Tam that I was getting off on his celebrity status.

Joules checks my room for stalkers—super cute, who would be here for me anyway?—and then leaves me with a kiss on the cheek to go do his job.

I slump down on the sofa in the living room.

There’s a living room. In a hotel room. There are two bathrooms. Two bathrooms. And I have a huge soaking tub and a king-sized bed all to myself. The couch has a pullout bed that I’m sure Joules will use, even if I invite him to share with me. Stubborn ass.

I don’t even turn any lights on, stumbling over to the bed and face-planting onto the sharp white linens.

I’m asleep in seconds.

I wake with a crick in my neck, groaning as I roll onto my back and stare up at an unfamiliar ceiling.

As far back as I can remember, I’ve woken up in the same house. For the last ten years, I’ve woken up with the exact same wood ceiling, slanted and decorated with cobwebs no matter how often I dusted it.

I sigh and sit up. No sign of Joules anywhere.

I search for my phone and ultimately find that it’s still in my pocket. I’ve only been asleep for an hour and a half. It’s three-twenty-five in the morning.

Having a drink with some of the security guys. Room 215, if you need me. That’s what my brother texted me about thirty minutes ago. I send him a thumbs-up, and he responds almost immediately. Also, I snagged a keycard to Tam’s room. It’s on the desk. Use it or don’t use it to your heart’s content.

I drop my phone by my side, turning my head to stare at the desk. Even in the deep gloaming shadows of the room, I can see the small white rectangle.

My heart begins to pound, and I wet my lips.

No.

No, this is where he is supposed to chase me. I’ve done the chasing, and it’s his turn.

But then I find myself alone in an unfamiliar space, the sounds of the city audible in a way they aren’t back home. I walk over to the keycard and pick it up, tapping it against my palm.

Screw this.

I try not to run as I make my way to the elevator, using the keycard to swipe so that it’ll go up to the penthouse floor. The security guard waiting inside of it doesn’t even look at me. Then again, I’m still wearing my badge. Was this Tam’s intent when he asked me to work for him? He seemed shocked that Joules was angry with him for that. Maybe I’m just not reading the signals he’s putting out?

The elevator doors open, and I take my time walking down the hallway to a set of double doors.

I tap the keycard over the lock, and I just let myself in—

—to Tam, pulling a fresh T-shirt over his head as he comes out of the bathroom. To Kaycee Quinn, sitting on the edge of his bed.

I let go of the door and step back, and it slams shut.

Did I just … An explanation is required. I know better than to jump to rash judgment, but my stomach turns, and my heart seizes. I turn and put my hand on the wall. When the door opens back up behind me, I flee, walking quickly down the hall.

I force Tam to chase me like he did on the gravel, and he meets the challenge. He catches up and passes by, turning and putting his palm out on the wall in front of me. I try to duck, but he snags me by the shoulder and very gently pushes me into the wall.

“Don’t run,” he whispers, looking down at me with a half-lidded gaze that makes me go very still. “Don’t run. It’s not like that; I would never do that to you.” Tam presses a small kiss to my temple that has my toes curling in my shoes. “Kaycee is here with her manager and her bodyguard. I’ve got Jacob and Daniel in there, too. Listen to me, Kayak.” He puts his other hand on the wall to my right, and then he leans down and in, and I exhale in anticipation. “We were just trying to figure out how to break up publicly. I already broke up with her in private. I’ve been trying to break up with her since you showed up at the rental house in Oregon.”

“I wouldn’t have expected anything less,” I whisper, and then he swoops in. He’s going to finally fucking kiss me, but then the doors at the end of the hall open and there’s Kaycee.

I turn my head, and Tam’s lips hit my cheek. He lingers there with a sigh, his nose against the side of my face, the heat of his body making mine go liquid.

But I can’t kiss him in front of his … ex-girlfriend?

“Sorry, but I can’t stay any longer. I think we already figured this out?” Kaycee comes down the hall with her blond hair coiffed and coiled tight on the top of her head. Her eyes look twice their usual size with a dramatic cat eye, and some pale pink shadow. Her lips are full and parted, and her skin is pore-less.

I am … underneath Tam’s hands with sleep-mussed hair and no idea what I’m doing.

He only looks at me, mouth still pressed up close to my cheek.

“Might be interested to know why you weren’t wearing a shirt?” I ask.

“He spilled boiling coffee all over himself and has welts on his chest,” Kaycee adds, examining her nails like it’s no big deal. With a gasp, I reach up and tug Tam’s shirt down. Sure enough, there are bright red marks on his pristine skin.

“Ow,” Tam murmurs, and I let go suddenly when I realize that I’ve just scratched him. In his burn wound.

“I’m so sorry,” I murmur, wishing he’d move from where he’s leaning over me. Reluctantly, he does just that, but he frowns, and I can tell he only moved because I’m uncomfortable. I’m only uncomfortable because there are other people here. I want to be underneath this man—naked.

Tam turns to look at Kaycee like he’s just realized she’s here. He points at her and then looks back at me.

“She wants to see your brother, but he ran away. Can you make him meet with Kaycee? Or trick him into it?” That’s Tam, asking me all of that.

I let my gaze shift over to Kaycee, and I see that her lips are pursed, that her eyes are dark with hurt. She … actually likes Joules? Like, for real?

“You … like my brother?” I’m so confused. “Why?”

“Corner him somewhere. Or call me when he’s asleep.” Kaycee passes over a card. It’s black with a silver phone number on one side. That’s it. No name or anything. It’s very dramatic. “Text me, and I’ll come and get him.”

She walks right past me and Tam, and I see her manager and bodyguard coming down the hall to join her. Jacob and Daniel come next, and even though Jacob gives us a nasty look, he leaves, too.

It’s just me and Tam.

Alone.

“Did your brother give you the keycard that was issued to him for work? Because on my team, that’s an immediate cause for dismissal.” Tam is smiling as he says this, so I figure he’s joking. “Good. You’re here. I wanted to talk to you, but I had to deal with this Kaycee thing first.”

“To break up publicly?” I repeat, so completely shocked that I have no idea what to say. I assumed I’d have to be Tam’s little secret, like the label would ask him to keep up appearances for the public. Tam nods at me, eyes skimming my body.

“I saw your face, Lakelynn. You were not having a good time working as my assistant.” He laughs at that, and runs his hand over his hair, turning to look at me. I feel my body relax around him, this deep, easy breathing settling in. I’m calm around Tam. I like being around Tam. Even if he’s right, and the day wasn’t fun for me at all, I’d rather stay and do this than not see him.

“No, but I don’t want to leave either. Please don’t fire me.”

Tam nods, expression contemplative.

“Come.” He gestures toward the open penthouse doors, and I silently accept the invitation.

He walks into the room behind me, and I turn to watch him heel the door shut.

Now we’re alone-alone.

“You think I’m going to fire you?” he asks, and I shrug.

“I … wiped, Tam. I didn’t dab.”

He laughs at that and sticks his hands into the pockets of his silver joggers.

“Want something to drink? There’s a minibar in here.” He pads barefoot across the room, and I trail behind him. There aren’t very many lamps on in the room, but it doesn’t need it. One entire wall, from floor to ceiling, is made of a single sheet of smooth glass. The view of the city is breathtaking.

“You’re not firing me, but you needed to publicly break up with Kaycee.” I state the facts and wait for him to say it aloud, whatever it is that he needs to tell me.

“I could tell from moment one that Joules was right: I made a mistake. I should have asked you to be my girlfriend.” Tam turns around, leaning back against the counter, one hand on either side of him. His lids are drooped, lips half-parted, head half-cocked to the side.

How? How is he always posing like this? I wring my hands in front of me.

“In the hallway back home, when you asked me that question,” I start, eyes drifting to one side. The kitchen in here is huge. It’s not just a minibar, but a full-sized refrigerator with a glass door, stocked with drinks. Every possible drink known to mankind, from kombucha to beer, soda and juice, drinks with labels written in Korean or Japanese. Lots and lots and lots of drinks.

Tam is basically a human god with an offering.

“When you asked me that question,” I repeat, swallowing down my anxiety. I realize I left that sentence fragment hanging in the air for like three whole minutes and he never moved. He’s just watching me, and breathing in a way that tells me all of his stillness is forced and well-practiced. He’d rather be touching me. “The answer, I should give that to you.”

“Maybe you should, but only if you want to,” he teases, and I look right back at him.

Eyes locked.

He smiles at me, nice and slow.

“Yes, Tam Eyre.”

“Yes, what, Tam Eyre?” he repeats back at me, feigning disinterest.

“Yes … I want you to fuck me.”

“Good girl,” he says, and then he gives me a drink not at random, but carefully pulled off the shelf in the fridge door.

It’s a boba.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d had one today, and I didn’t want you to miss out.”

I take the drink from him, and then I turn away so that he can’t see me shed a few tears while drinking it.