Chapter 7

“This is the best day of my life!” I yelled in excitement, watching Bubba slide down what had to be the biggest hill known to man. A cloud of snow plumed behind him, the sled moving so fast all I could catch in the dark was the glint of his blond head. We’d already made a few accidentally horrible snowmen, which sat sentinel behind us, watching his descent.

“It goes faster if there’s more weight,” Miles told me from where he stood to my left, calmly waiting for his turn. He didn’t really like this. At least, not unless he was going down with Trent. But I figured that had more to do with the lumberjack behind him than the actual sledding itself.

“More weight,” I hummed thoughtfully, eyeing Ben where he stood ten or so feet to the left with a sled of his own. His daughters. Twins . Twins, motherfucker! Were dressed adorably in little black snowsuits. They looked like chunky lil goth snowmen, their heads tipped up as he bent low to speak to them.

I wanted to know what he was saying super bad, but didn’t want to be greedy.

He’d taken me to dinner after all. Refused to let me pay. Stopped by his apartment, came down the stairs with his arms full, and forced me into one of his hoodies, a coat, gloves, scarf, and a pair of snowpants that were so fucking big on me I could hardly move.

When he’d been rolling up the hems and trying to shove them into the lips of my boots, he’d promised me he’d get me stuff that fit properly—like this wouldn’t be the first and last time we were doing this.

Like it was his job to take care of me.

And I’d stared at his lovely, red head—and the little whirl of hair at the crown—and tried not to fall head over heels in love with him.

I’d always fallen quick.

It was a curse.

And just as quick, the people I fell for tossed me aside.

It was why I was glad I was only here for a few weeks. Why, despite admitting I liked Ben, I hadn’t made a real move.

Also because I could tell he liked me too. And that was…terrifying. Even though it was mutual.

I’d always liked dudes as much as girls. Sure it had taken me a while to figure that out—but once I had, I’d never gone back. Dicks were hot. It was simply a fact. I loved them. Loved sucking on them. Loved touching them. Loved sitting on them. Loved the way they throbbed sometimes when the guy I was with was really turned on.

Loved when they were soft, and hard, and soft again.

I tended to like my men a little dangerous too. Bigger than me and strong enough to push me around. Unfortunately those kinds of guys were usually assholes.

So…being attracted to Ben was not this earth-shattering, horrible realization. I tried to tell myself I liked him because he had a dick. Because he walked kinda spread out—like his dick was big and he had to accommodate its girth. Tried to tell myself it was a sex thing.

But even that felt like a lie, when I knew the first thing my sleep depravation had taken from me was my fucking libido.

And I could hardly get hard most days, let alone get off.

So yeah.

Even though Ben Montgomery probably had the dick to end all days, that was not the reason I liked him.

Not at all.

It was the juxtaposition between his grumpy facade and a hidden sort of gentleness that attracted me. Like he knew how big he was but didn’t want to use his size to intimidate.

“Why don’t you ask Ben if you can ride with him?” Miles asked, eyes twinkling with mirth as he watched me stare down the illusive doctor man, while wearing the ridiculous getup he’d forced me into.

“Eat shit, little brother,” I gruffed at him, cheeks bright red because he’d seen right through me. And then, before he could tease me some more—because apparently that’s what he’d been doing—I stomped my way toward Ben and his munchkins.

Tried to stomp.

Waddled, more like.

The girls watched me approach, twin sets of eyes narrowed like they weren’t sure what to make of me. Which was fair. If this was the wild, I’d be the hyena panting after their hot lion dad. Wasn’t that how The Lion King went?

Either way.

I was a predator.

A stupid-looking predator, but a predator nonetheless.

Trying to look cool, and failing, I picked up the pace.

Only…it quickly became clear that had been a mistake, because my boot hit a rock—or ice?—or some other winter, mountainy shit, and I went plummeting to the snow in slow motion.

“Goddammit—”

Boom , hit the ground as quick as that, snow in my mouth and everything.

The snowsuit broke my fall so it didn’t hurt.

Not the way falling earlier had.

But still?—

It was humiliating as fu?—

Laughter, crystalline and hysterical broke out in front of me. I lifted my head, surprised, and elated when I saw the two cherubic little girls grinning at me. Their giggles bounced around the bowl of the hill, all the way down to where Bubba was slowly but surely picking his way to the top.

Ben grinned at me, side-stepping the littles and holding a gloved hand out toward me. He yanked me to my feet as soon as I took it, pulling me in close and brushing the snow off my shoulders, expression amused.

The little shits kept giggling, and weirdly enough, rather than feel embarrassed—I kinda felt like I had won something.

“You okay?” Ben asked, voice tender.

“Just peachy.”

“Good,” his eyes crinkled at the corners the way I liked before he twisted me around to face his daughters.

They sobered the second I turned to face them, eyeing me critically, their arms stuck out at the sides like starfish because of the bulk of their snow outfits.

“You owe me monies,” Rosie, the mob boss told me. She was the twin on the left and easy enough to distinguish. The other twin didn’t have freckles on her nose.

“A dollar, right?” I laughed, cheeks hot.

“Thirty-seven,” she countered, eyes bright.

There was no way in hell I’d sworn thirty-seven times since we’d arrived at the park fifteen minutes ago. Which…weirdly enough, made sense. I’d believed her at the party—and now I was realizing I might’ve been just drunk enough to be duped.

“Thirty-seven?” I asked, dubiously.

She nodded.

“Is that the highest you can count?” I asked, ignoring Ben—who was literally quaking with laughter beside me.

Rosie nodded again.

“You are one sneaky motherfu—,” I paused, watching the way her eyes lit up like she was just waiting for me to mess up. “Mother fudger .” Her eyes narrowed, disappointed. “Sneaky, sneaky ,” I clucked at her before turning to the other twin. “Hi. What’s your name?”

This twin shook her head, watching me warily.

“This is Jane,” Ben said in her stead, his shoulder gently brushing mine. “She’s shy.”

I nodded, because I got that.

Miles had been that way too.

“Nice to meet you, Jane.” I held a hand out for her to shake, but she just shook her head again, so I retracted it. “I’m Robin.” I smiled at her first, then Rosie, careful not to make the two of them uncomfortable.

I wasn’t the best with kids. But I really wanted to be. Especially these two.

They were seriously cute as fuck.

Looked like grumpy lil penguins.

“You ready to go down again?” Ben asked them, tone light. They both nodded very seriously. Ben turned to me with a little smile. “Would you like to take one of them? Only two people can fit per sled.”

I wasn’t sure I wanted to do that.

What if I crashed the sled and launched one of them Jason-Statham-style into a snowbank? Just… weeeee—smack, toddler legs sticking out in the air.

“I don’t want to fu—” I glanced toward Rosie. “Fudge it up,” I amended.

“You won’t.” Ben had way more confidence than I did. He handed me the sled. “Let me ask them first, one moment.” And then he bent down and whispered to the two of them.

“What do you think? Should we let Robin sled with us?” Ben’s voice was a quiet, gentle whisper.

The twins glanced at each other, and then up at me. And then, as if they could read each other’s minds—holy shit—they nodded at the same exact time.

“Which one of you would like to ride with him?” Ben asked. He talked to them like they were tiny little adults, and I couldn’t help but find that super fucking adorable.

I’d never had a dad like that. Or a dad at all—not really. Mine was a piece of shit who’d fucked off, and only came back to screw me over all over again. This was a totally new concept to me. The only other dad I’d ever known was Miles—and that was…different.

Because he was my kid brother, and I’d never looked at him like he was a juicy steak before.

Apparently, I liked men who were good with children.

Good to know.

I figured Rosie would want to ride with me. That way she could trick me into more swearing. I was nothing but a cussing piggy bank to her. And Jane was shy. She probably didn’t want to hang out with a stranger she didn’t know.

However…I was more than a little surprised when Jane was the one that raised her hand.

“Alright,” Ben hummed, standing back up. He stroked a hand over each kid’s hat, his eyes on mine. “Jane would like to ride with you.”

“Cool,” I said, because it was cool.

Super cool actually.

Except…I didn’t know how to do this.

And again, Jason-Statham-level child-yeeting was not on my Christmas to-do list. Not that he’d ever yeet a child. He’d yeet people—adult people. Like that scene in The Beekeeper . But not kids. Obviously. Every version of Jason Statham was just honorable like that.

“Don’t look so nervous,” Ben laughed, eyes crinkling at the corners again. “All you have to do is sit down and hold on.”

“Hold on to what?” I fretted. “The kid or the sled?”

“Jane has her own handles. She’s an expert.” Ben looked far too amused by this. Jane did not look concerned, even though she should. Instead, she nodded seriously—like she was, in fact, an expert.

“Is she certified?” I half-joked, because the longer I kept talking the more I could stall.

Again, Jane nodded.

Yeah fucking right. There was no way she knew what the word certified meant. Unless she was a genius. Or like—a super baby, or whatever.

Still though…Ben didn’t look worried.

At all.

He took the sled back from me—like it was easy to yank it right out of my death grip, and lay it down. “Sit,” he commanded.

I sat.

The snow crunched beneath my weight and my heart thundered. Jane crawled onto the sled, settling in front of me, her cute little mittened hands latching on to the handles. “Do I hold you?” I asked her, because again—no one had fucking told me.

Jane ignored me, staring resolutely ahead.

“Hold the handles,” Ben’s voice was right next to my ear. It tickled the shell of it, warmth bleeding through the hat he’d shoved on my head. I melted a little, my nerves fading. “Relax. It’s going to be fun.”

I’d been super fucking excited about this—and I knew realistically he was right—it was just…hard to let go of the nerves. They stuck to me like cling wrap. I could hardly breathe, I was so tense.

An awkward beat passed.

“You know what—how about…” Ben pulled back. I twisted to look at him, but only caught the tail end of the gesture he made. The crunch, thump of the snow alerted me to someone approaching from behind.

“Paxton,” Ben asked.

“What?” a gruff, low voice replied. When I twisted to look, I realized I was looking at the only Montgomery brother I hadn’t met yet. The grumpy one. That’s what Bubba had told me.

“Would you watch the twins for a second while I take Robin down?” Ben’s voice was as calm and serious as ever. “It’s his first time. He’s nervous.”

Oh, thank God.

Embarrassed, I tried to tell him I was fine—but he didn’t listen. Both brothers ignored me actually, as Paxton leaned down to yank Jane right into the air. She released a fit of giggles—not quite as loud as the ones she and her sister had made when I’d fallen, but still joyful.

“Why don’t we watch, hmm?” Paxton hummed, surprisingly gentle as he grabbed Rosie too and hoisted both girls onto his shoulders. “Your daddy’s made his first friend.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Ben muttered.

“You owe me monies,” Rosie clapped back immediately.

Ben laughed.

And then he was sinking down behind me. He used his weight to keep the sled in place as he easily maneuvered me into Jane’s vacant spot and settled down at my back. He was so fucking warm. Christ. And big. His lovely, cultured-looking hands wound around my body, picking up the handles and forcing them into my grip.

“Hold tight,” he hummed, giving my hands a squeeze. His long legs framed my body, going way past where mine ended, feet nearly twice as large as my own. I was suddenly quite glad I was not the one in the back—otherwise my dick might’ve woken from the dead just to fuck with me.

“Don’t you mean, hang on tight spider monk—eeeeeeee!” My screech turned into laughter as the sled pushed off and the world blurred white.

Wind whipped my cheeks, bitter and cold. It burned the tip of my nose, icy bright as it filled my lungs and the snow kicked up around us. Ben’s breath was warm on the back of my neck as he kicked one leg out, digging it into the snow and sending the sled spinning, spinning, spinning.

I couldn’t stop laughing. Couldn’t stop for the life of me.

Those few seconds felt like years as the blurry trees along the top of the park danced.

When we finally spun to a stop I was out of breath and Ben was laughing against the nape of my neck.

“Oh my fuck,” I gasped out, wiggling in Ben’s grasp. “That was amazing.”

“I knew you’d like it.”

“That thing you did—with the leg—” I twisted around to look at him, momentarily distracted by the way he was looking at me. “Seriously inspired. You’re like the Picasso of sledding.”

“The girls love that. I figured you might too. That way you can impress them with my trick.” Ben winked . Winked!

“You’re high if you think my legs can reach that far.”

Ben tossed his head back and laughed.

And then we were scrambling up the hill again—me, with newfound confidence. Ben’s smile never died.

It didn’t die when he let me go a second time in a row—this time with Jane. It grew broader after I took her for a spin and squinted up at the top of the hill after her giggles subsided. It softened when I carried her up the hill on my shoulders because the snow was too deep for her tiny legs to climb.

Up and down, over and over. I rode with Jane, Rosie, and Bubba. Giggling my ass off like a man possessed, my heart pounding, my skin hot now—despite the chill. Like my body was burning up my happiness to keep me warm.

And all the while, I wished and wished and wished that I could ride down that first time again. That I could feel Ben behind me. That his warmth could be mine, and that smile would stay forever.

Snowflakes fell.

The night grew dark.

And for the first time in years, I felt like I belonged.