4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Jessica

"Your excitement is contaminating the air." I frown at Evelyn as we leave Bake My Day and head to her car. It's almost nine, and the bakery has finally closed for the night. "Stop smiling like someone who won the lottery."

"Isn't this better than winning the lottery?" Evelyn hooks her arm through mine and continues skipping forward, pulling me along. "Sean is back."

"Personally, I'll pick winning the lottery."

Evelyn nudges me, and a reluctant smile curves my mouth. I'm happy for Evelyn, honestly, but the thought of Sean being around makes me uneasy for so many reasons, all of which I've avoided dwelling on since he made his surprise visit a few hours ago.

"You and Sean have always fought like cats and dogs. I wonder when it will get better. You are both adults," she teases.

"He's two years older; let him be the bigger person, thank you."

We reach our cars, and Evelyn pulls me into a warm hug. I might not like physical displays of affection, but Evie gives the best hugs.

"Thank you for staying with me today; I appreciate it."

"Anytime." I came to see Evie this morning to complain about my terrible bout of writer's block and find a solution, and although I didn't find one, it was the perfect distraction. Sometimes taking a break is exactly what one needs to get the creative juices flowing. "I'll see you soon."

"Definitely." Evelyn slips into her car. "I'll tell Sean you said hi."

"Don't you dare!" I wave a finger in front of her face. "I will eat you alive, Evelyn O'Connell."

She shudders and starts the engine. "Is it weird that I kind of think you can?" She asks, making me laugh.

"I can. Get that into your skull." I jab a finger into her forehead, and she scowls.

"Ouch."

Laughing, I get into my car and start the engine. Evie gives me a final wave as she drives away. Now that I'm alone, there's no escape from the onslaught of thoughts that overwhelm me. The image of Sean in all his gorgeousness is swirling around in my head. His smile, the way he smells, and his teasing tone. I can no longer deny it. I still have a crush on Sean O'Connell.

"Dang it!" I slam my hand against the steering wheel, flinching when I accidentally hit the horn, and it blares.

I've always had a crush on Sean, which makes it all the more annoying when he teases me. Growing up, I saw him as something more, but he saw me as his best friend's sister or his sister's best friend. There was a time in my life when I was so in love with him that I tried to end my friendship with Evie, thinking he would finally see me. I shudder at the thought. What would I have done if Evelyn was no longer my best friend?

As I near home, my thoughts stray to a few hours ago when Sean first walked into the office. Evelyn and I had been talking about him, so he looked like an apparition strolling in without a care in the world. The last time I saw him was five years ago. He was just a budding actor then, with lots of hope.

Now, he is wealthy and successful, but he still acts like the Sean I remember. I'm grateful for it, even though I'd die before I'd tell him that. I park my car in front of my house and exit, dragging my feet to the front door. The house next door is dark and empty, like always, and it adds to my loneliness. Sometimes, I wish I had a neighbor, not because I want someone who would come knocking on my door with cookies occasionally—God forbid that happens. But it would be nice to see some light and life in the next house anytime I arrive home late, like tonight.

I'm met with a dark living room when I enter, so I quickly turn on the lights, feeling a little relief when brightness floods the space. My thoughts bring me back to Sean, and my heart flips. If I was a romance writer, this might be the first chapter of a bestseller, but I'm not, so the little heart flip annoys me.

Jamie and Sean have been best friends since childhood, so I grew up seeing him around. I can't remember the first time I met Sean because he seems to be part of my memories for as long as I can remember. I do, however, remember the first time I really saw him.

It was just after summer break. Evie, Sean, and Liam were gone the entire summer while Jamie and I were bored out of our minds, awaiting our best friends. As soon as they returned, Sean and Evelyn came over to our house. I saw them coming from the window, and unlike before, when I'd only had eyes for my best friend, I couldn't look away from Sean this time. It was like he doubled in size over the summer, or maybe the haze lifted over my eyes, I don't know.

I was fifteen years old when this happened, and since that moment, I've been unable to get over this crush. I'm twenty-eight now. With a disappointed sigh, I head for the bathroom, shedding my clothes as I go. I step into the shower. In another half an hour, I'm in my flannel pajama bottoms and a tank top, sitting at the table with my laptop open in front of me, a glass of white wine beside me.

My Word Doc is open on the screen, but my brain is empty. My phone rings, and I perk up to see Evie's name flashing across the screen.

"Hey, bestie," she sings into the phone as soon as I take the call.

"Hey, Evie. Miss me already?"

"Always." I smile because I can tell she's smiling on the other end of the phone. "Got home safe?"

"Yup. Thanks for checking in."

"You're welcome." There's a shuffle on the other end, and I hear a familiar voice calling out. My breath catches in my throat. "Sean says ‘hi'," Evelyn says after a moment.

"Hmm." I can feel my cheeks heating up, so I change the topic. "You going to bed?"

"Not yet. But soon. What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to write."

"Any luck?"

"Nope. But I'll keep trying."

"I wish you luck. Talk to you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Evie."

"Goodnight." There are three beeps in my ear as the call disconnects, and I set my phone back on the table. If I thought I had no ideas before, there's no hope for me now. I've been trying to get Sean off my mind enough for me to concentrate, but that simple Sean says hi has me spiraling again.

I hit random keys on the keyboard, hoping to spur more words into my head, but it doesn't work. I hit backspace to clear my notes, and I'm again staring at a blank page. A sigh escapes my lips, and I grab the glass of wine, downing it in one gulp. As the wine works my system, I shut my eyes and give in to my thoughts.

Sometime in the past, when I was sixteen years old, I had made a decision to forget Sean and focus on someone else. At the time, I had finally convinced myself that Sean was never going to notice me, so I set my eyes on another one of Jamie's friends, Henry.

Henry liked me right back, and I was starting to warm up to him when Sean struck again. We were at a pool party organized by Sean, Jamie, and some of their other friends to celebrate Jamie's eighteenth birthday. As usual, Henry was by my side, talking and keeping me company. I was having a great time until Sean appeared. He tried to get in between Henry and me by changing our conversation, and when I didn't let that happen, he picked me up and threw me into the pool.

I was so upset, especially when everyone else found it funny. What exactly was funny about being thrown into the pool in front of your new crush and potential boyfriend? Henry was the perfect gentleman in all this. He jumped in after me, pulled me out, and followed me into the house to change my outfit and get dry. But after that day, he started to avoid me. When I confronted him about it, he told me it was because he didn't want to get in the way of Sean and me. I still remember how shocked I was at his words. I asked why he would think that, but he never did give me a reason.

I wish he had been the last person who would say that, but over the years, more people continued to say that about Sean and me. He was always teasing and badgering me, giving people the wrong ideas. Which I never really understood. We never dated, and I'm one hundred percent positive he wasn't attracted to me, but the constant teasing gave people the wrong idea.

I sigh and forcefully corral my thoughts back to reality, with my blank screen in front of me and a deadline looming. I'm afraid that now that Sean is in town, he'll go back to his usual teasing, and it'll be impossible for me to concentrate enough to get any work done. I just have to avoid him and make sure we don't run into each other from this moment on.